The Bucket List
by BleachLover2346
Summary: It's been five years, even more, if I have lost track. Never in all those years, have I thought that my battle would come once again and this time, I wasn't going to fight... until I met him and fall in love, with the one person who was in the group of people who made my life and living Hell, back In High-school. Never did I think, I would fall in love with Ichigo Koursaki. R
1. Chapter 1

_Our life is nothing but an hour glass. _

_When it begins our time on the planet start to trickle down the glass tube, _

_waiting for the last grain of sand to join the pile below the others. _

_We don't know, when our time ends or when it's close to the end..._

_All we truly shall know, is that when it stops we know we lived it long and had a good life..._

_Well, most of us_

**BEEP!**

**BEEP!**

**BEEP!**

**BEEP!**

A groan left my lips as my hand slapped down on the alarm beside me, when the beeping continued I had to sit up and shut the alarm off. My violet eyes looked at the time to see that it was 7 AM. Why the hell was I getting up this early on a Saturday?

Slamming the clock down on the night stand I slowly stretched my arms, as a yawn wiped from my lips. I ruffled my messy hair with one of my delicate hands before rubbing my eyes softly.

A meow was heard from the end of my bed, causing my drowsy eyes to look over only to find a slim cat with pure white fur. " Well, Good Morning to you, Sode" I smiled as she walked over to me with her elegant steps, with a hand I felt down her head and down her spine letting the soft and silk like texture cover my senses. A pur left her throat as she snuggled into my touch, it was much like Sode in the morning. Ever since I got, Sode back when I was 'cured' -which was about five years ago- she was the one that seemed to make my day, more bright and happy with her up beat personality.

Shivers went down my spine as I held Sode in my arms tightly, my body went cold and then to hot as I held the beautiful cat. " That's why" I whispered before placing Sode on the floor and climbed out of bed.

I walked to the white dresser in my room and grabbed a pair of yoga pants and a large grey sweater. Ever since I was 'cured' my life had been shaped into being healthy, I ran in the morning before breakfast, didn't eat fast-food, didn't drink liquor, slept 8 or more hours a day, have monthly doctor exams and I stayed away from illness -which was nearly impossible since, I am a kindergarten teacher.

Pulling on my running attire I looked in the mirror that was on my white wall, the reflection of my body filled my violet orbs. From the short raven hair on my head that flipped at the end, the pale skin that coated my petite body, the narrow jaw that was touched by doctors over a thousand times, small chest that was checked every time I got sick, my some-what curvy hips that children wrapped their arms around at school. This was me.

The grey sweater pooled over my body and the yoga pants were tight to my legs. I grabbed a brush from my dresser and ran it through my hair before pulling it back into a pony-tail. Turning to leave the room I grabbed my I-phone and my head phones that rest next to my alarm clock.

As I walked down the light and fluffy hallway of the apartment, I felt a warm feeling rising up my throat. I rushed to the tiny washroom and fall to my knee's quickly, leaning over the toilet allowing the warm and disgusting liquid spray out of my mouth. It seemed to never end, almost like there was a never ending supply of vomit. Finally, when all the vomiting was over I flushed the toilet and watched the yellow water disappear, with a pant I sat on the floor and looked over to see Sode looking at me with her blue eyes; they seemed to be filled with worry for me and what it may be but I didn't want to think like that.

Standing from the floor I went to the sink and slashed cold water over my face; trying to get my skin to cool down. " It's not, what you think" I whispered to myself, I didn't want to believe that my battle was back or that the beast that stole my teenage years and pre-teen years, was back to take my 20's away.

" It's probably from the food I ate yesterday, it probably didn't sit well last night" I told myself as I walked out of the washroom into the small living room with nothing but a large sofa, plate screen T.V. and some magazines.

Pulling on my running shoes I plugged my head phones in my ears and blared the music in my ears, the constant roar of rock and survival songs poured into my ears as I opened the door and jogged down the empty staircase. Since it was so early, no one would be heading down them or up them so it was going to be peaceful.

Breaking my steps on the stairway and onto the side-walk, the feeling of the bright morning sun warmed my skin gently. New sounds of birds chipping and leaves ruffling filled the air as the sun awakened all that was around, I didn't hear it since my music was loud trying to block all reality out of my mind. Reality, was my nightmare and my enemy even as a child, when I lost my sister I pretended that she was there still playing with me in my room, when my parents died in a car crash I never acted like they did but like they were right beside me; and when I got sick I acted normally like it wasn't real. Sadly, at the end of everything I noticed it was all real and that it was never going to be the same. Reality had struck me.

Even now, every now and again I would roam around Karakura town -the town I grow up in since I was nine- and believe that the people who I had lost were still there, some where, waiting for me to find them and be happy with them by my side. Perhaps it was childish to think like that, or maybe I was out of my mind but I needed the hope more than any other citizen in Karakura town.

Just the thought of be able to see the ones that I loved the most in front of me for ten seconds, gave me enough hope to get me through the day without worrying about what was to become of me. It was my peace.

" Good Morning, Ariawa-san" I called out as a women with long raven hair appeared from an apartment building, she wore the same kind of attire as me. In my mind, I thought of Tatsuki as a 23-year-old health coach, whose thoughts on life were: Live everyday like tomorrow will be the last time you see the sun, she was my running partner on the weekends since she thought the same as me and had small conversations with me when one of us had enough; and called it a day.

" Mornin' Rukia-chan" Tatsuki smiled as she began to run beside me, looking over at her through the corner of my eye I noticed that she seemed to have a glow to her skin. Perhaps, it was the sun in the morning or she had lotion on, but either way I wasn't going to get nosy, just yet. " Have you talked to Orhime lately?"

I smiled at the name, Orhime. At 23 years old, she was living the normal life with a husband in the medical feild, a daughter whos in my class and had another on the way. She had the life that I wished I had. " I spoke to her the other day when she dropped off Umi. She told me that she is pregnant with her second child but she didn't tell Uryuu yet" Tatsuki chuckled at the news and sighed as when passed ' The Koursaki Clinc' marking our mile, when I noticed she was slowing down near a black Benz; I couldn't help but look at her oddly. " What is it?"

" Did the Koursaki's get a new car?" she asked herself, when I saw her looking into the vehical I wanted to stop her from being nosy, and to tell her to mind her business. " Looks like, Ichigo's back in town" she told me. I froze at the name that left her lips, I and Ichigo Koursaki weren't good memories. " We should go say: Hello" Tatsuki suggested, I shook my head before looking at the house quickly.

" I can't, I have a doctors appointment at nine. Perhaps, I'll drop by later" I did have a doctor's appointment but in all truth; I just didn't want to see the one person who made my life a living hell back in high-school. Especially, with the rumors that were being spread around about me being pregnant when I was 16 years old... only if they knew the truth to why I was always away, throwing up, having dizzy spells, pale, tired and having hot flashes.

" Awe, come on, Rukia" Tatsuki whined but I just ignored her whining. She didn' t know the history that I and the famous, Koursaki Ichigo had. I wasn't holding a group about the rumor because he wasn't alone when it came to those, everyone started them and I never even met him personally. " Maybe, you two will hit it off and start dating. Don't you want to fall in love?"

I wanted to fall in love but I didn't know how much longer I had on this planet, for all I know, I could be dying of something that was supposed to be gone. Falling in love would only hurt the one that I loved, and make it harder for me to accept my fate. " Tatsuki-san, it's best that I don't fall in love. But, I'll probably stop by if all goes well at the doctors, because I have to talk to Yuzu about the picnic that we're having next week with the children"

With a sigh she turned to the house and then to the car " Whatever, Rukia. Just so you know, you don't fool me. I know you just don't want to meet him and take the risk of actually loving someone" shaking my head softly I began to walk down the drive and toward my apartment building that wasn't far from here.

Looking over my shoulder I noticed that Tatsuki was gone and the drive was empty. Tatsuki is a sweet women but she was definitely rough when it came to men, especially my best friend Renji who worked with her at her gym. Those two were like an old couple when they fight, she would yell at him that he was a lazy bum, then Renji would spit back that she is nothing but a man in a womans body. It was harsh and cruel but everyone that heard them, knew they had some feelings for each other.

As my thoughts of what Tatsuki said to me about love, I couldn't help but agree with her thoughts of me being afraid to fall in love. It was true, I was afraid that I would fall in love and be happy like my sister was with my brother. I didn't want to make someone feel for me, and then lose me like Byakuya lost Hisana.

The love the was between my sister and Byakuya, was something that many envied because it was pure and innocent. When Hisana got sick with breast cancer, he never left her side till she past. Back then he was a business owner for the largest office in Tokyo, but now he was traveling all over the world looking for the cure for cancer; because of Hisana and the love they had he wanted to be someone to save a person's life like he wished to save hers. It was the only way he could hold onto her, and believe there is hope out there.

I didn't want to be, Hisana. She left a throbbing and broken heart when she died of cancer, along with me -she was the only family I had left, besides Byakuya- but that all changed when she past. When Hisana died, Byakuya took me in as his own and was there for me, even when I got sick and was in the hospital for weeks on ends. He was like a father to me. There were nights that I could barely move he would feed me and held me, telling me that I will get through this and live; then there were the times that I was throwing up and he would be there holding my hair back, and times where he would just be there at the side of my bed holding my hand, hoping that I would survive.

Byakuya was my hero, because he gave me hope and all the strength to over come my battle. I thought that once Hisana past, he would forget me and try to block me out like most wanted but he changed my life and saved me from the monster that took many people. If I was sick again, I didn't know how I was going to tell him. I didn't want to come back and give up his search for Hisana, and I didn't want he watch me wither away into nothing.

This was why I didn't want to fall in love. It was my first rule to life, yet did I know that I was going to break that one rule, sooner than I wanted.

* * *

**This story was ****inspired by a recent story I read, with Ichigo and Rukia. **

**If you want more of this story click the review button and telling that, also, if there is some information in this story that isn't 100 percent true, I'm sorry . I really tried to keep the story to key with the information, for further chapters. **

**So, love ya lot, Bleachlover! **

**Oh, and if you don't know when it will be updates, I will tell you know, that is shall be updated when I can and if there is a decent numbers of reviews, favorites or story followers. **

**Don't worry I shall be posting what I have done, now. So enjoy and tell me what you think of the story so far, and if you want more! **

**Review! Please**


	2. Chapter 2

_Balance. _

_There are many things that hang in the balance everyday, _

_like the birds and the bees who life for nothing but the spring. _

_My life, was once balanced like good and evil but then... _

_I met the one person who tore my balance away, and gave me a reason to live on the edge of everything... _

_He showed me, that there is more to life than living in my tiny bubble, trying to avoid a broken heart. _

_Not all balances are meant to be broken, but I do not mind because my balance is something that will not be continued for much longer, for my hour glass sand is quickly trickling to the bottom of the glass. _

_And my life shall end, with much sorrow and pain..._

_making my balance disappear and rest set in another time were, it may not be interrupted. _

After I ran back home and got dressed, ate and fed Sode, I didn' t know where I was going but my feet seemed to know. Maybe, I didn't want to hear the chance of the doctors telling me that I was sick once again. Perhaps that was the reason, why I didn't know where I was going... maybe my fear was clouding my thoughts and way of direction.

Yet, here I am, looking up at the large hospital that awaited me to enter and see the truth behind all my vomiting and dizzy spells. This was going to change my life for the best, and for the worst.

Forcing myself to walk forward through the sliding doors, seemed harder than before. Just the sound of my boots clicking on the cement gave me the chills, when the breeze and the smell of the hospital tickled my nose I felt my heart quicken. I was nervous.

" Ms. Kuchiki? What are you doing here?" I heard a rough voice ask me from the front desk, looking over I saw a tanned skinned man, with his shaggy brown hair and giant structure. Chad.

" Chad? What are you doing here? I thought, you worked in construction" that was the only thing I really knew about Chad, since he was the one that my brother employed to build his manor on the out-skirts of Karakura. When was they were building, I would stop by with food and drinks for the builders, seeing as it was so hot the year. I used to talk to him when he was on break, he told me all about how he wanted to design housing and buildings, and not be making them. It turned out that he was 20 at the time and I was just 18; and still in high-school.

" Actually, Miss. Kuchiki, I lost a bet with Uryuu and he's making me work in the hospital for the day. How's your brother?". Of course, he was going to ask about my brother, since Byakuya paid for his architectural schooling for building his manor. Thanks to my brother, Chad was doing what he truly wanted to do, design buildings and not making them.

" Well, Byakuya is down in America, right now. Last I talked to him, he was doing great. He actually, was about to go out with some doctors for a night out. How's your business going?" my brother maybe looking for the cure, for cancer but he still had friends and a good time which was one of the reasons I didn't argue with him, when he told me that he was going to go traveling around the world for the cure.

Chad chuckled as he placed his hands behind his neck and leaned back in his chair slightly , " The business is going great. I was assigned to design the new hospital down in Tokyo, so I'll be traveling there" it was nice to hear that his work and love were all going well.

" Seems like you going places, quickly. I still remember bringing you and all the others food when you were building the manor" I chuckled.

" Well, your brother did pay for my schooling, along with the other teenage workers who I worked with. If it weren't for him I would never be what I am today... a lot of us wouldn't be what we are today, even Uryuu and Ichigo" my brother wasn't the type to just let anyone build his home, he wanted to help people who needed money more than others. So, he went to teens and young men who were trying to become something. He would give them the job, for the exchange of their schooling being paid for by him. It was kind and a miracle to the people who worked for him.

" Well, that's my brother for you" I sighed before heading to the elevator that would bring me to the third floor " Is Uryuu in today?"

" Yeah, four-eyes is on the third floor" I heard him say before walking into the elevator. When Chad was out of sight and the doors closed I watched the buttons light to life, quickly as the box moved upwards. My eyes never left the light of the buttons as a countdown entered my mind, the constant worry and thought of dying was fresh as the number 3 lite up and the metal doors opened, to show the front desk where a women in her late 50's sat and then Uryuu leaning on the counter with a clip board in hand.

" Rukia-san?" he questioned as he looked over at me with his glass, his short jet-black hair carved his face as the white lab-coat made him look older than 25. " What are you doing here? Your physical exam is in three weeks" he reminded me.

I nodded as I stepped out of the elevator with my purse close to my side " I need a test"

He raised a brow as he looked over me and then to the women behind the desk " If your pregnant, gas stations and stores have those test" he snickered, this wasn't a funny moment for me so his joke got him a glare; instead of a chuckle or a smile.

" No, I need a different test" I growled, when he heard my words he blinked and looked over at the women who frowned at my words. Pretty much, everyone in the hospital knew me and what I had defeated, so there was no need for me to say what I really needed in that area.

" You know, it could just be the flu or a common illness" he told me as he looked over his clip board again.

" Uryuu, I've battled this since I was nine years old, I know the signs and tried to think they were nothing but a cold but they're getting worse over time" his happy arua turned cold at my words, when he looked at me with his blue eyes that were hard and serious I knew he was finally getting what I was saying to him.

" This way" he ordered before walking down the empty hallway, I followed quickly and looked around the area filled with the ill and the dying. I'll be one of them before I know it, and when I do die... I don't want tears for what I was but a smile of happiness because I was going somewhere with my family and sister. " How long have you been having these symptoms?" Uryuu's voice knocked me back to reality and what was going on.

" About two weeks or three" I answered him, when he opened a door to a room that looked like a normal doctors office, I felt my pulse speed up at the sight.

" What has been different?" Uryuu sat on a chair as I took a seat on the bed in the room.

" My skins been paler than usual, I'm tired more often and I'm vomiting every time I eat" I told him as I rolled up my yellow sweater sleeve, with a nod he walked over and whipped my skin softly before readying a needle.

" How much sleep have you been getting?" as the needle entered my skin and he slowly collected my blood, a wince left my lips. I will never get used to being poked with needles and watching my blood be sucked through a clear tube.

" The usual, 8 or more. You know as well as me, that I have made my life perfectly healthy so I wouldn't get sick again" Uryuu nodded as he pulled the needle out and then added pressure to the wound, before putting a band aid on my arm.

" I know, but sometimes it just happens" he sighed as he raised my arms and felt my breast. I didn't blush or grow embarrassed at his touch, because I was felt up like this every month when he check me, plus this is Uryuu. One of my best friends husbands, he knew that if he tried anything I and Orhime would be plotting his death at his house before he got home. " So far, I don't feel an breast cancer or lumps" his hand dropped from my breast and then be felt up my back for anything.

I took deep breaths as he touched my body, trying to calm my nerves and put my mind at ezz. "_It's nothing, it's just old age coming early-"_ my thoughts were cut when he stopped moving his hand on my back, near my spine where a lump was.

" Rukia-san, I'll be right back. I'm going to go look at you blood and run some test" he told me quickly before dashing out of the room, leaving me in alone.

The sound of the door closing was in my ears as I slowly laid on the bed thinking of my past with my battle, against cancer. It took away so many years from me, it took so many people who were dear to me and took my thoughts of love away. Just the thought, of that lump on my back being something that was going to be the end of my life; was so easily played in my head. Unlike my sister, who battled breast cancer and lost. I battled something worse and more serious than breast cancer -when I was nine and in the hospital, I used to joke about having breast cancer because it was something that would be better than what I really had- this battle of the silent beast and the constant sight of orange in my eyes, was something I never wanted to go back too. After, nearly ten years of seeing orange I was sick of the color and what it meant to me.

I am 23 years old. I've battled cancer since I was nine, and my battle was supposed to be over when I was 18. In general, I've only lived 14 years of my life the way I wanted, the rest had been used to fight this killer and with doctors that thought they knew what to do, when in all truth they didn't have a clue. When I think of it now, I never really lived my life the way I wanted, because it was crafted to the perfect life that would help me fight off cancer and not get cancer again, but yet I was here, waiting for the lab results that would say: Yes or No; about my blood.

What if I really did have cancer,again? What would I do? How would I tell, Byakuya or Renji? How would I tell anyone? Could I be treated anymore? How would I tell my class or their parents that I was dying? How would people handle it?

There were so many, unanswered questions that sat in my mind. All of them, had one thing in common... they didn't have answers. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath as tears formed in my eyes. I didn't want to die at 23, and I didn't want to die of this. There was so much I wanted to do, like: Go skinny dipping, ride a motorcycle, jump off a cliff and into the ocean or a lake, meet the one that I love, get married and have a child, I wanted to get drunk off my ass -since, I never have been drunk-, I wanted to have sex on a roof -for the hell of it. Sadly, I was never going to do those things and there was nothing that could stop it.

When I heard the door opening I sat up and wiped my tears away, with my purse at my side I glued my eyes on the door, waiting for Uryuu to enter the room with the results.

As Uryuu entered the room I noticed the orange folder in his hand that read my name in bold letters :_** KUCHIKI RUKIA**_. Just the sight of the orange folder gave me the news of what was wrong with me, it was all true, my vomiting in the morning, my dizzy spells and new feeling of exhaustion, it was all linked to that one words that I heard when I was nine and never thought that I be hearing again.

" Rukia-san, you have... leukemia"


	3. Chapter 3

_Meet me. _

_Meet the real me, that I hide behind this mask that saves me from all the pain that is in the world._

_This mask can hide my real thoughts of the world, and all my feelings that I hide from you... _

_Call me bash or childish, but this mask is my protection from you..._

_It was created the day... I met you_

_Because, I was afraid! I was afraid... to fall in love with someone who could make me feel happy and alive for once, in my life. _

I didn't utter a word to Uryuu when I left the hospital, not even Chad who seemed to call for me as I dashed out of the building. " This can be happening" I whispered in my hands, my mind was racing at a billion miles as I walked down the sidewalk. I didn't know where to go, I didn't know who I wanted to see and what I wanted to do. I was lost in a sea of uncertainty.

Turning a corner the several bodies of citizens disappeared from mine and I was alone, looking up with my tearful eyes I saw the sight of the kindergarten building. The building was short, with a little white fence around the back that was filled with toys for the students, past the white fence was a forest that was dark. It all looked so happy and warm to me, this was my home. I could still hear the laughter of the students as they played during the week and see the bright smiles of the children.

" Hey! Stop it!" I heard from the far field where High school students played soccer and football. I walked over to the stairs that lead down to the field, when I saw two people on the field I couldn't help but let a tear dance down my cheek. " Toushiro!" was screamed in the distance which only drew my interest for the two.

The clicking sound of my heels on the old stone stair were muffled by a burst of laughter from the feild. I wiped the tears that were in my eyes as I came closer to the two that laid in the green field. " Rukia-sama!" one of them yelled as they looked over at me, a scream echoed from the person when the other began to tickle them.

I smiled as I came to the sight of a women with long raven locks that were scattered over the grass, pale skin that was like the cloud in the sky, her tall and figured body that would tower over me. She wore a baggy shirt and shorts as she laughed and squealed for mercy. " Karin" I whispered softly, she was one of the teenage girls that volunteered at the school I work at. She and her twin, Yuzu, where always bright and happy when they were with the kids.

" T-Toushiro, stop i-it!" she yelled to the person beside her, looking over I noticed a boy around her age with slightly spiked white hair, tanned skin that shimmered in the sunlight with bright aqua eyes that were filled with happiness for the girl. I noticed he was wearing a shirt with the sleeves ripped off and the neck stretched, along with baggy shorts for soccer.

" What are you two doing here?" I asked, I knew Toushiro because his sister, Momo had worked at the school for a year before she quit since she was accepted into Tokyo college for design.

" Rukia-sama, we just finished playing soccer" Toushiro said as he rolled off Karin and to the grass. It seemed like there was something going on between them, or so I thought.

" Sure, you were" I teased causing a blush to cover the two teens face, I loved it when they thought dirty when I could mean the kindest things -or not.

Karin looked over me and then to the grass quickly " Umm, Rukia-sama? Is it okay, if I brought some friends to work some day soon?"

I smiled at her question and nodded " We always need some more help, but if your bring them on Monday then tell them to bring extra clothing that can get dirty. We are painting with the children" I told her, when I noticed Toushiro smile at the comment I decide to add in my two cents " Just don't have sex in the storage room, we need paint not other _liquids_" I snickered, when Karin tossed her soccer ball at my head I tapped it with my hand slightly.

" Rukia-sama" Karin growled with a blush on her cheek, I couldn't help but laugh at her state and Toushiro was no different with it came to blush.

" You two are so easy" I chuckled, when I looked at my hand I noticed that my skin was turning a light purple. _" It's worse than I thought" _ just by the instant bruising I knew my leukemia was bad.

" Maybe" Karin shrugged as she looked at the sky to see that the sun was slowly setting. I never thought it was that late, it must have been a long walk that I took on the way from the hospital. Where does time go? " Would you two like to go to my house for some dinner?"

Toushiro smirked at the question and throw the ball at her head quickly " Your mother and Yuzu's cooking is amazing, I can't refuse" he commented before standing from the grass and helping Karin up.

" Rukia-sama?" Karin said, I smiled at her and then to Toushiro who was waiting for my reply. I was hungry but I didn't want to be a burden to the family. " Please! My brother is in town for awhile taking care of my dad, he would love to meet you!" she pleaded.

" Wait. Brother?" I asked, there was no way she was sisters with Ichigo Koursaki, right? There had to be more than one Koursaki family in Karakura.

Karin smiled as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me slightly " Yeah, my big brother Ichi-nii just got here from Tokyo! Besides, mom and Yuzu are making his favorites"

" Karin, please release my wrist" I whispered loud enough for her to hear, when she released me I noticed that my wrist was bruising slowly. " I'd love to but, it is your brothers meal for you and your family to enjoy his company"

Karin sighed and looked over at Toushiro quickly " Actually, Ichi-nii said I can invite a friend or two, since he isn't much fun at meals. There will be enough rice dumplings to go around" she had me at ' Rice Dumplings' those were my favorite things in the world, even with little hunger I could eat a hundred of them.

" Alright" I replied causing her to smile, as we began to walk I listened to the conversation that went on with the two teens in front of me. It started off with them talking about a soccer game that was coming up soon, and what they were going to do but then there was this twist to it, where compliments got involved some how.

I looked around to see the sight of Karakura, with the small shops that were filled with happy people who laughed and smiled at each other, cars that were filled with families and the many children that walked with their mother or father. For some reason, when I looked at them all I felt sadness in my heart. I wanted to be them and have what they had, but I didn't know how much time I had on this planet anymore.

Everything around me was like a constant reminder of things that I had to give up on because, I have leukemia again. I could remember everything that I gave up when I was little and battling the cancer, back then it seemed so small and pointless to think about. Now, that it was going to be taking away my future it was the biggest deal in my world.

" Rukia-sama, are you okay?" the voice of Karin brought me back to what was going on, looking over at her with a smile on my lips as I tried to make it seem like everything was okay.

" Ya, I'm just a little tired. Don't worry about it" I was true to Karin at least for the most part, I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. A yawn left my lips as we continued walking down the sidewalk.

" U-Uh okay, just take it easy. When we get to the house you can take a little nap, if you'd like" I nodded sleepily at Karin's words before looking up at the houses to see that we were nearly there.

" So, Rukia-sama..." Toushiro trailed off as I looked over at him with my tired violet eyes " Do you have a boyfriend?" I flinched when Karin punched in the stomach causing him to double over in pain, I blinked at the sight and then to Karin who looked like she was in tears. " Karin! What the hell! I was going to ask if maybe she and your brother could-"

" It's best that there is nothing that is relationships in my life, at this point" I interrupted, the two looked at me with wonder in their eyes " I'm just not looking for a relationship" in my head I was growling in anger, because deep down I wanted a relationship with someone special but I couldn't anymore.

Karin sighed as she looked at the house and then to the car " Do you want to get married some day and have kids of your own?" I did, but there was a low chance of me actually being able to have kids with leukemia, since I don't eat much, I'm tired and drained. My body wasn't fit for a pregnancy.

" Just not, right now"

" KARIN!" was cheered from the house, I looked over to see a women with long sandy hair and warm brown eyes " YOU BROUGHT, TOUSHIRO-KUN WITH YOU! AWWWWWWWEEEEEE!" Yuzu squealed as she looked at her blushing sister.

" And Rukia-sama" Karin added as she pointed to me, when Yuzu caught the sight of me I noticed that she disappeared in the house once again. " Come on, let's get inside before Yuzu gets the neighbors to report us, again for too much noise"


	4. Chapter 4

_Before the pour. _

_Before the pour, there is nothing but the black clouds that swim in the sky; waiting for their time to let it pour, on my life. _

_Only if, I knew that my down pour was going to come with the loss of the one person, I can't live without. _

_On that day, it seemed to as though there was a waterfall over my car and my shoulders that were slumped from the sight and the sound of the heart beat; disappearing from my lover. _

_As the hair that covered my head stuck to my face, I looked to the sky to see the black clouds that roared with anger and sorrow, that laid in my heart. _

_The sight made my throat clog and my mind flash of the memories of my lover. _

_Their smile, that was as bright as the lightning that filled the sky and light like the white clouds that would arrive when the storm went to sleep. _

_The laughter they gifted the world, and warmed my cold heart when we first met. _

_Eyes of the most wonderous gems in the world. _

_And the love that disappeared from their eyes when the heart beat vanished. Never did I wish to see the sight of their body going limp, and the pale skin that covered the body that I kissed and shared, but here I was. Staring at the rain and the clouds, that covered the sky that echoed the happiness as the heavens welcomed them... as they welcomed the love of my life_

Butterflies.

Happiness.

Anger.

Sorrow.

Beautiful.

Bright.

Those were the words that came to mind when I met him, when I met the man who was going to make my last few years worth living. I know there was many more words that described the sergeant, but they were nothing compared to the sight of his sculpted body that stood in front of me. " Ah! Rukia-san, you have met my idiot son!" was sang in my ear.

Shaking my head slightly I looked over at the tall man, with his black beard and playful brown eyes. The only words that came to mind when looking at the man, was his name, Koursaki Isshin, a playful and loving father of three. Married to the most beautiful woman, I have ever seen in all my life, but also the man that gave me him. But, I didn't know that yet. " Isshin-kun, I don't believe he is an idiot" I managed to say.

" Thank you, kid" a cold shiver went down my spine at the name, kid. I am 23, who-the-hell does he think he is calling me a kid!

My anger got the better of me, and my fist went into his stomach causing his wondrous body to crash to the ground. I glared daggers down at him with my violet orbs and growled slightly " Listen here, bud! I'm no kid! Got it!" I screamed. My glare dropped when I felt a small sweat forming on my back and the feeling of exhaustion coming over my body. I didn't know, I was that bad.

" Jeez! What the hell was that for, midget?" he roared. I would have spat something back, but I was too tired to do so. With a hand I waved him off, before sitting in an empty chair as the kitchen table. " Oi, midget! Answer me" he growled, with my tired eyes I looked over at the tall structure, muscular chest that was covered with a tight shirt, his long large legs hiding under those blue jeans -that clearly scream, stamina-, the large hands which were clouding my mind of dirty thoughts, tanned skin - I wanted to lick, bright amber eyes -that made me think of Carmel and sweets- (mouth watering), and then the bright mop of orange hair on his head which only reminded me of the illness that was killing me.

" Koursaki-kun, I wish to not argue with you at this moment. I am rather tired, for some reason -which I wouldn't like to discuss -would you please, just leave me be for a moment or two, so I can control myself" he seemed to tense at my words. I tried not to pant in front of him but, I couldn't hold it in any longer and allowed the tiny gasps of air exit my lips.

Closing my eyes, the sound of my heart beat was in my ears; it sounded like a drum solo that made fans roar with happiness, but not for me. A warm hand covered my back causing me to look over to meet amber eyes, making my heart stop and a rush of heat filled my cheeks. What was this? " It's Ichigo" he told me.

I wanted to speak but my wind-pipe seemed to be clogged with something, called nervousness and air. Turning my head to the side quickly I looked away from him, trying to get my composure back from his touch " What?" I managed to choke.

" You called me " Koursaki-kun", it's Ichigo" his voice was like silk to my ears, and his touch was like rose petals that warmed my skin. I nodded at his voice before trying to hide my blush.

" Rukia. Kuchiki Rukia" I told him. My hand went to the water that Karin had given me when I got to the house. I stood from the table only to have my body bump into Ichigo's causing a tingling sensation overwhelm my skin. " Excuse me" I whispered before heading to the stairs.

As I headed up the staircase to the washroom, I heard the sound of feet following me. Looking over my shoulder I saw no one, and shrugged it off as my imagination getting the better of me.

With a hand I pushed open the bathroom door to see the regular bathroom, with the usual things: a shower, sink, toilet. Closing the door as I entered, I walked towards the sink and leaned over with my face looking down at the drain.

The darkness that was down the hole, made is seemed like it never ended but in general it ended, eventually. I noticed the purple and blue markings on my wrist from Karin, then the tender feel in my hands " No" I muttered as I looked at the bruising. This had to be the worse thing that was involved, with leukemia. It looked like you were beaten by someone, if I were married and here just for a visit; everyone would think my husband did this to me.

What was I going to do? If anyone downstairs saw these bruises, they would think someone was hitting me or something bad was happening at work, and I didn't need that today... or ever. Honestly, I didn't want to tell anyone about my illness for many reason but most of them being the irony and tears they would give me. I'm dying slowly, not fast, I wish I was.

**Knock! Knock! Knock!**

" Rukia? Are you okay, in there?" the voice and the emotion gave me the shivers. It was Ichigo, he was probably the one that followed me upstairs earlier. Either that or he was just coming to see if I was alright, which was sweet of him, but I just needed sometime alone to swallow the fact my life was changing again.

" A-Ah yeah, Ichigo. I'll just be a minute or two longer" when the sound of his feet shuffling on the floor wasn't in my ears, I figured he wasn't going to leave. Such a stubborn ass!

Storming to the door I growled, with the breeze of my strength I pulled the door open only to see Ichigo leaning on the wall beside it, with his eyes closed and his hands in his jeans " I thought you died in there" I heard him mumbled. My eyes softened at the sight of him and then went to the floor as the blush covered my cheeks again. God, get a hold of yourself, Rukia! He's a good looking guy! You're a Kuchiki -a smart one too- don't let your feelings get in your mind! " I thought you might have, fallen in" I froze at the comment. D-Did he just say what I think he said?

Me fall into the toilet? Me! " You know what, Ichigo. I am tired! I am sick! I am dying! And I am getting annoyed with your pity joke about my appearance! If you think you're better than me, then guess what! I don't give a flying fuck! I could care less! Just don't you dare, stand there and insult me when I have bigger things to worry about about! Because I am getting sick and tired of this bull shit!" I yelled. When I was done my ranting, I felt light headed and dizzy almost like I was going to faint. I leaned against the door frame to see the shocked look on the sergeant face from my words. I'm guessing, no woman has ever told him off like I did. Well, he deserved it.

It all happened so quickly that my mind didn't wrap around it until I felt his skin on mine. His large hand pressing me against the wall, he was leaning on earlier. My breath went to a stutter as I looked into his amber orbs, his breath was at my lips as he looked down at me with such intensity -almost with passion- causing my cheeks to heat up and my skin to tingle. " We're all dying Rukia, it's apart of life. We live, breath, smile, laugh, marry, have kids and then we die. I've seen all of those, and if teasing you is such a bad thing then I won't stop, because we all need a little mockery in our lives" his voice was sweet and serious as he spoke. Where did this Ichigo hide from the world? I thought he was nothing but a smart-ass sergeant who enjoyed making fun of me.

" As much as I would like to agree with you. I can't, seeing as many people in my life have vanished from my sights because of events or illness that can't be fixed or cured. So, having kids and getting married, isn't in everyone's life plan or future. Now, will you please let me go downstairs or do I have to make you move" I growled. The flashes of Hisana and her sick body was lingering in my mind, and the sight of my dead parents in my heart as I looked and thought of all the horror in my life. I didn't need his words. Or did I?

" So, you're that type of women" I froze at his words and gave him a puzzled look. I was a type of women? What-the-hell! I wasn't a type of women, I am -just- Kuhciki Rukia. Nothing more or less. I am 23 years old and have had leukemia since I was 9, I wasn't a type of women. How... how ignorant!

" Excuse, me" I was take back. Ichigo chuckled as he pushed off the wall and took a step back from me. I found my eyes on his as he looked at my with questions in his eyes, what did he see in me that I don't see?

" You're a women who looks at the world as a place where everything is waiting for their time to run out. You probably watched several of your loved-ones die and planned their burials. You're strong-headed, bright, playful but childish when it comes to certain things -like your appearance to others- you most likely prefer black or a dark purple, when it comes to attire because it brings your dark side out - the one you hide from everyone you meet- am I right, Rukia?" I snorted back a laughter and covered my face with hand. He was close, but not close enough.

" You're wrong" he tensed at my words and narrowed his eyes at me before looking over my body with his amber orbs. " I am a person who has been through hell on this planet. I take every moment of my life as if it were a precious gem, that is never to be found. I have seen my fair share of dead loved-ones and helped plan their burial, but I never did it alone. I rather wear white and bright colors, so they can bring my day happiness and they bring me back to the good things in this world. My dark side is down inside me, but I am fully in touched with them" I corrected him.

When he didn't say anything I took my leave and went to the staircase. As I got to the living area, I noticed that Karin and Toushiro were on the couch goofing-around -like normal people. Yuzu was in the kitchen with her mother who was being pestered by Isshin, and then there was Ichigo who was behind me, silent.

" Rukia-san, you feeling okay?" Yuzu asked. I smiled and nodded to the teen, she always had a heart of gold and cared for everyone, but that could be a bad thing for her.

" Hai. Why do you ask?" she seemed to looked over my body and then to her brother as he stared at my back with his amber eyes.

" I-It's just... you look paler than ever" I choked at her words and looked at my hands, they did seem whiter than better, but not that bad. It's not like I was snow-white, right?

" Oh, this is just because I'm a little tired from my run this morning, that's all" I chuckled awkwardly before heading to the table. Taking a drink of my water I sighed as the liquid coated my throat, it was nice. Through the corner of my eye I noted that Toushiro and Karin were wrestling over the remote, typical for teen love.

" What do you do for a living?" snapping my eyes towards Ichigo who sat beside me, I placed my glass of water on the table and gave him my full-attention -trying not to be rude. " What do you do for a living? Seeing as you're not a teenager, and there's no other person here -like a spouse" he restated. Maybe he thought I didn't hear him properly the first time.

" I teach children, down near Karakura High-school. Karin, Yuzu and -once in a blue moon- Toushiro comes to get volunteer hours" I cleared my throat softly and fiddled my thumbs. I loved talking about my work with kids, but today it seemed like a sour subject. Maybe, it was because I wasn't going to be doing much longer -which was depressing on my part. I loved working with the children and hearing them laugh, they were like the family I wanted but couldn't have. They made me complete.

Ichigo seemed unsettled with the fact I was a teacher, that knew his sister from volunteering but he had no right judging me. " Why kids? I thought you as being a business women who lived down the street" I nearly choked at his words. Me? A business women? Now, that was a joke. A true joke.

A chuckle left my lips as I looked at the man and then to the table " Me? A business women? How funny. Ichigo, my family may be regular sticks in the mud, but my brother and sister made sure I wasn't" I chuckled thinking he thought of me as my brother and other relatives that were around. The truth was, when Hisana and Byakuya adopted me into the Kuchiki clan. They made sure I wasn't like the others, with their fancy calculators and numbers popping out of their butts. I was raised differently then all of them, I was the special Kuchiki " I decided to be a teacher, because I really never had a childhood. So, why not watch and educate the time of my life; that I lost"

Since I met Ichigo, I ever saw him with this look in his eyes. The look of hope and kindness. He seemed to see my way of life, for a change of guessing what it was like in my shoes. It was the part of him that made me love me, in the future, even when the worse was in my eyes and the future was clouded with nothing but sorrow.

With his large hand on his chin he thought in silence for what to say to me next, but I started instead " As much as I love life, I never really had one until I was 18 or 19, because of some... personal issues. I lost my only family when I was nine, and my brother-in-law, Byakuya took me in as his own. He was like a father to me, he brought me to school, to the doctors, stayed home when I was sick and read to me when I wanted him too" my eyes sparked with happiness as I thought of Byakuya holding me in his arms, with his head resting on mine and a book in his large hands. " If it weren't for him... I wouldn't know what a parent was like. Before my sister, Hisana past of breast cancer, she tried to be like a mother to me but I wasn't the kind of kids that would behave. I would run around and make a mess, but that all changed when I found out she was dying. The day of her funereal was the day, I became silent and more obedient" I looked over at him to see the sorrow in his eyes for my story. Most people I told about Hisana, were in that state but Ichigo was different. He was more sad, angry, hurt and caring about the passing of my sister. Just in his eyes.

We were silent at the moment, only letting our breath and thoughts linger in the air -besides, the life that was around us- but it was silent and peaceful in our ears. " What happened when you were nine? After Hisana passed" his voice was gentle in my ears. Looking over at him I smiled softly and bowed my head slightly.

" Let's just say... my life was never meant to be easy, like everyone else" I wasn't going to tell him that I had a serious case of leukemia, and the doctor's didn't know what day was my last. I was lucky to survive, seeing as I remember all those child's that died in the same room I was supposed too. But, thanks to Byakuya and the hope he shimmered in my presence I got through it, and survived, even got rid of it. For a little while.

" Perhaps, some-day I could help you at the kindergarten school" he smiled. God, that smile made me blush -like a school girl- and pulled my heart like a puppet on strings.

" O-Of course... we always need help" I chuckled nervously as he looked at me with bright eyes. " Plus, it would be nice to have you" my heart fluttered as the words slipped past my lips and into the air. What did I just say that? Shit! Rukia!

He shifted in his chair slightly and raised a brow " Really? Why's that?"

Think. Think. Think.

" Ummm... none of the kids has had a grown male helper in the school before. It would be a nice change for the students" I said quickly.

When Yuzu walked out with dinner she leaned over with a smile on her lips " Nice save, Rukia-sama" she chuckled. My eyes widened at the truth, I snapped my eyes over at the teen and glared daggers at her with my violet hue.

" Yuzu" I growled under my breath as she giggled at me, and the way I was acting with her brother. It wasn't funny, it was rather humiliating for me! I have never stuttered with men -even, Kaien and Renji- this was a first for me, and I wasn't enjoying it one bit. Was that sad?

" Jeez, Rukia-sama. I have never seen your eyes so murderous" chirped Karin as she leaned over the couch, her eyes were glued on me and Ichigo. What were they thinking? " And you said, you didn't want to settle down" she teased with her eyes narrowed at her brother.

" W-What are you t-talking about?" I stuttered. I blinked as she chuckled at my question and then look over at her brother. Oh, hell no! She wasn't think-...Me and Ichigo, never! I can't! That's cruel! Could it happen?

" Oh, don't play dumb, Rukia-chan! You and Ichi-nii, are hitting it off" my body froze at her words, when the warm feeling of vomit was in my throat I stood and ran to the bathroom holding my mouth.

**SLAM!**

Went the door as I fell to my knee's and held my hair back with my bruised hand. The sound of my vomiting filled the silence of the house. Tears swam down my cheek as the acid flood out of my mouth and into the toilet.

Pause it here. If you didn't really have a picture of my life from here, then I will explain it. Vomiting isn't the only thing I did when I was nine. Byakuya, would find my skin like snow, hollow eyes that made me look dead, bruising that turned my beauty into death. My healthy weight of 110 went to 90 in three weeks or less, my eating habits of breakfast, lunch, dinner and desert; all disappeared and went to an orange juice cup and three crackers. Then there was the vomiting that I did for hours on end, sometimes I would wonder if there was an end to my stomach. Man, was I wrong. My sleeping hours was nothing but the minutes that I had of peace from a bucket or a toilet. That was the childhood that I escaped. Now, it was back.

**FLUSH! **

As the vomit disappeared I could feel more come, leaning over the toilet was a good idea as the liquid rush and my brain went blurry. I don't want this! I wanted to be healthy, but my wish was nothing but a dream. Why me?

My throat burned as I flushed the toilet and sat on the ground. I moaned and tossed my head slightly to the side. This wasn't fair. I wiped my mouth with some toilet paper and stood weakly, trying not to fall over. When I reached the sink I splashed my face with some cold water.

I patted away the water with a soft towel then placed it at the side of the sink. A pant lips my lips as my eyes stayed closed, this wasn't something I wanted to live with any longer. I was ready to give up. Throw in the towel. Flush the pills. Write my will and be buried.

" This is only day one, Rukia" I whispered to myself as I walked to the door and opened it to hear nothing but silence in the house. Walking down the stairs was almost like being in a hospital, filled with silence and bad news awaiting people at the end of the case.

It was time for me to go home. I needed to get my thoughts straight and my plan ready, if I was going to fight. Was I going to fight?

I froze at the question that filled my mind. Did I really want to give up? Was I ready to die? Maybe. I'm 23, I can't be ready to die, right? Oh, shut up, Rukia! You're not! Placing a hand on my head I thought of what it would be like to give up and not fight. It would be nothing but a ticking bomb, waiting for me to disappear.

What as I think?

My feet seemed to move and brought me downstairs to join the group again. I finally came through when I felt the texture of my purse in my hand. Looking over I glared at the orange book that twinkled in my eyes " Rukia-sama?" the voice snapped me out of my glare with the orange book.

Turning my head the sight of Yuzu and her family at the table was in my eyes. I forgot they invite me to dinner, shit. " Are you leaving?" Karin questioned as she stood from her seat. I knew that if I left she would be the one to drag me back inside, that was the last thing and bruise I needed today. I found my hand rubbing my wrist slightly where the bruise was and the aching muscles went to my brain. " Rukia-sama?" Karin said, I snapped back from my thought of my bruise and looked at the teen.

" U-Uh... " the sad look that was in her grey eyes made my heartache, I didn't want to disappoint her or anyone. " No... I'm just getting some Advil from my purse" I lied. I went to searching my purse, when I saw the orange pill bottle that Uryuu gave me, I popped the lid and took two in my hand.

" Come on, Midget. I was told you like rice dumplings" Ichigo teased as he pulled out my chair, I walked over and slapped the back of his head with my free hand. " What the hell-"

" Next time you dare to call me, Midget, is the day your family is looking for your will in the Karakura river" I growled at him. Isshin chuckled at the threat and Masaki snorted as she looked at Ichigo's expression.

" You're one evil women" he commented.

" Hai. I'm the daughter of the devil, himself. Got it, Strawberry" I snickered before popping the pills into my mouth and taking a gulp of water that rested on the table for me.

" Oi! My name isn't, Strawberry" he snapped.

" It's on the strawberry box in the store, don't lie to yourself" Masaki was the first to burst out at the comment. Ichigo glared at me and then to his mother who was laughing too hard to notice. Poor women. " Besides, when you have kids, it'll be easy to teach them orange and strawberry"

Isshin choked slightly as he looked at me " Really? How?"

I pointed to his hair and my hatred grew for the color " Hair as bright as yours is probably going to be a curse for your future daughter or son. Your name is on every strawberry product, so you'll be telling your son or daughter in the store 'Go get, daddy' before ya' know it they'll be screaming ' Daddy! Daddy! We found you!' in produce" Ichigo glared at me with hate that turned to care when he heard 'future daughter or son'. It was like he was think of something.

" So, Rukia-chans already thinking of my grand-babies! Oh, Masaki! We'll be grandparents soon! Karin and Yuzu will be aunties!" Isshin yelled as the women smiled at me brightly. I nearly choked on a dumpling and Ichigo was coughing for dear life.

" Awe, look Masaki! She already saving our son, and showing her motherly side!" Isshin sang as I patted Ichigo's back quickly and asked if he was okay.

" Before ya' know it dad, she be in his room keeping him toasty warm at night" Karin commented.

" Please! Isshin-kun is most likely going to have a grand-daughter with tanned skin, aqua eyes and white hair! Ain't that right, Toushiro" I snapped. Karin froze as a blush covered her cheeks, and Toushiro was wided eyed " Or is it a boy with pale skin, aqua eyes and raven hair, Karin!" I sang.

Isshin gasped and looked at Toushiro with bright eyes before hugging the boy " Karin made my second son, a man! And is giving me grand-babies!" I heard Ichigo burst at his father with laughter, as he looked at his red-faced sister as she toyed with her dumplings.

" Karin, you didn't deny it, either!" Yuzu screamed as she looked at her sister. " I thought you would tell me, when you lost your 'V' ! When? Where? Why? How? Now" the Koursaki demanded as she grabbed Karin's collar. I sat down slowly as Yuzu shook her sister for answered but got silence.

" Nice one" Ichigo whispered over to me. I chuckled as Karin stuttered in Yuzu hold, it seemed like my words got her into trouble with her sister. Pay-back is the best meal.

" I knew hormones were better than my idiot son!" Isshin sang as he squeezed the poor white-haired teen. I noticed Ichigo's eye twitch at his fathers words and wanted to jump him, but I held him down with a hand on his.

" Don't he'll start going after you in grand-baby comments. Let it be" I whispered. He calmed down at my voice and relax. " Only your Rukia-chan, can seem to clam him down" was whispered on the other side of the table. Looking over and noticed the only other Koursaki who wasn't in a brawl, and that was, Masaki. She wore a smile on her lips as she looked at I and Ichigo. Not again!

The rest of dinner seemed like a blur in my mind. All that I remembered was Isshin making baby noises towards Karin and Toushiro, who were busy glaring at me. Then there was Ichigo and myself, having friendly conversations that Masaki watched with a close eyes. Yuzu would comment on a wedding for Toushiro and Karin, and what she was planning -only to get a blush from the two teens, I and Ichigo would laugh, until we were red in the face.

If there was a summary of the day I met Ichigo, there would only be one word for it all. Happiness. He made me happy, and not worried about my illness, it was nice for a change. The Koursaki's made me feel like family, especially Isshin, but Ichigo made me angry, happy, sad, quiet and excited for what was going to happen next. I didn't want this day to end for me, and I didn't want to leave the sides all the Koursaki's.


	5. Chapter 5

_My moon. _

_As I drift to sleep every night, thinking of the beauty you shine over my body in my slumber; _

_I can't stop thinking of the warmth you once gave me, when the touch of your purity was at my finger tips. _

_When you breath lingered in the air, and wasn't in the cold breeze that tickled my skin when you past... _

_Sometimes, I would stare out at your beauty and think of all the glorious times we loved. _

_When I was your sun... _

_And you were my moon_

As the sun shined in the sky, and ruffling of the leaves were in my ears; I looked out at the pathway where many students walked with their parents. It was Monday, and like all regular beings my tiny students were tired, and clinging to their parents trying to get a few more minutes of sleep. When they reached the gates the children would moan and protest to their mother or father, until they saw me.

" Kuchiki-sensi!" was gasped as the little boy with a bush of spiky hair, bright blue eyes and tanned skin leaped into my arms. Times like this, I wish his father were like his son and not so serious towards me. " I did all my homework! Papa, even helped me with coloring and drawing" he spoke with happiness.

" Oh my! What a beautiful picture, Atsuko" I smiled as I looked at the photo of the tiny boy with his father who looked just like him; and then his mother who was holding his baby sister. My eyes went to the man at the gate with his jet-black hair in its bushy form, tanned skin that was like brown sugar and ocean blue eyes. " Kaien" I spoke as I looked at him and then to Astuko. " Why don't you show this to Rangiku-sensi and all your friends" Astuko laughed and went running towards the group of tired students.

Taking in a deep breath I walked over to Kaien, he was usually the one to pick of his son and Miyako was the one dropping him off. There was something going on, and being the teacher and the friend of their family, I might as well find out. " Ohayo, Kaien-kun"

" Rukia, don't even think about acting all cheery. Uryuu called me and told me already" I bowed my head at his serious tone. Kaien and I knew each other since I was nine, he was volunteering at the hospital I was in for High-school. He was helping my doctor and therapist with my health, we became best friends and at the end of all of my treatment; he became therapist for cancer survivors.

" I see. So, what are here to do? Lecuator me and tell me, I shouldn't be working with my conditions-" I knew Kaien to well, and I figured he was going to try and tell me to go home. Let Rangiku run the classes with Nemu, but I couldn't.

" I'm glad you know what I was going to say. Do you really think it is best for you to be here, with all these children -who can be sick and carry germs? This could get you sick!" he growled. I noticed him wave and smile at Astuko who was looking over at us. Knowing the boy, he saw the anger and sadness in his father when I walked over and wanted to make sure we weren't arguing in some way. Father like son.

" Listen. I'm tired of having to change my life because of leukemia If being with the students that I care for and with the place I call home, is going to be the end of me. Then so be it. I've been fighting this since I was nine years old, Kaien. That's the same age Astuko is going to be when he is in Grade 3. You should know better than anyone that, I wasted my life in hospitals where fancy doctors told me ' One more test, Kuchiki-chan' ' Take this pill, Kuchiki-chan' -no more. If I'm going to die, then I rather die somewhere I love and not in a hospital or in my apartment with a sigh he took my wrist and rolled up the sleeve to see the bruises that were healing slowly.

" You're that bad already" he mumbled as he touched the purple flesh with his long fingers. Kaien was always to kind and gentle when it came to me, maybe it was the way we met and the timing, but either way, he was gentle and kind towards me. Even when he worried. " How long have you had it?"

" Maybe two or three weeks or more. Uryuu didn't see it, until I told him to give me a test for it. I know my leukemia I told him as my eyes went over to the group of students as they laughed with Astuko. " How many people know?" if Kaien knew, then did Tatsuki or Ohrime. God, I hope not.

" Just me and Uryuu, he said that you didn't want anyone knowing about it... which I see why,now" he released my hand softly and looked over at his son in the distance " They'll be crushed if you don't get through this" he told me. Not that I didn't already think about that, all last night was my time to think about all the people that will be sad for my lose. At least my students, got the easier way. Their parents would tell them I transferred from the school and went somewhere far away. " Are you going to do the treatment ?"

That was the one question I didn't want to answer today, because the person who got the answer would be shocked and rather angry with my decision " No" I whispered. I felt Kaien freeze at my decision and then step back from me " I'm pretty sure the treatment isn't going to work on me" Kaien cupped my cheek with his large hand, before he sighed at the truth.

" I can't let you die" he whispered. I chuckled at his words and looked over at the student who were busy with one another. " You said that, when you first met me in the hospital, Kaien" I whispered as I pulled his hand away. " But no one can stop death, not even the great Shiba Kaien" he chuckled at my words before frowning.

" You're my best friend tho, and my son loves you -my whole family does. How do I let someone who is close to all I care for, die?" he was right, his whole family loved me even his wife -who thought of me as completion when we first met. But, they were all so sweet and kind to me, just like Hisana and Byakuya. God, my brother is going to mentally break when he hears this. What am I going to do?

" Easy. Enjoy me while you can, then when the day comes for my funeral .. don't come. Just act like I'm moving somewhere, perhaps, Canada or the U.S.A. Just don't cry, because there is enough tear shed when one passes" I remembered the rain that poured when Hisana was buried, and the tears that were given when she was gone. I didn't want to be remembered like that, with tears and sadness. I rather be forgotten then be cried for.

" Kuchiki-sensi!" was screamed from the pathway. Both I and Kaien looked over to see a little girl with long auburn hair, blue eyes and pale skin. She smiled at me brightly then to Kaien before hugging my waist. " Besides, how can one cry when you have bright children like this?" I asked him.

" Kuchiki-sensi! You wouldn't believe what Mama, did this morning? Papa wasn't very happy about it, but he will get over it, right?" she said quickly. I sighed as I looked at her energetic being and personality. I guess that's what you get from Orhime and Uryuu's child.

" Umi, slowly down and breath before you forget -like last time. I wouldn't want one of my brightest students turning purple" Umi laughed at my joke and looked over at the pathway with her blue eyes. " What did your mother do?"

" Oh, Kuchiki-sensi! Mama, had an old friend over this morning a-and he was so bright and colorful! Papa wasn't so happy about it, but he got over it when Mama started glaring at him -she is really moody lately for some reason. T-Then, Papa was going to walk me to school, but Mama's friend said he could! I was all like 'Yay! I get to bring Kuchiki-sensi someone new to meet' and then Papa was all like ' Be nice to Kuchiki-sensi, she has a lot going on and doesn't need you into trouble, Umi' but Mama slapped the back of his head and sighed. Then on the way here, Mama's friend was all like ' I can't believe, I'm walking my ex-girlfriends kid to school' and then I was all like ' What's a girlfriend?' and he was all like ' Uhh! A nick-name I called your mom, a long time ago'! Can you believe that? But, Kuchiki-sensi, he has pretty hair and these eyes that mama told me ' made women melt', what does that mean? Can you tell me? Cause Papa wouldn't! Oh, and then this friend of Mama's name is Strawberry, can you believe that? It's so funny! I want you meet him, Kuchiki-sensi!" I thought I was going to turn purple, with Umi's long story. I knew she could talk but this was something I would expect from a teenager, when she read things in a magazine.

" First of all Umi...breath" I chuckled as she took deep breathes and then closed her eyes " Second of all, where is this friend of your mother?" I didn't see anyone with her when she got here, did this friend leave her to walk by herself? That was dangerous, for Umi! And for this friend, if Uryuu found out. The innocent father would kick that person slowly and painfully, for letting his princess out of their sights.

Umi blinked as she looked over her shoulder and then to Kaien " He looks just like this guy!" she exclaimed as she pointed at the man.

" Umi, pointing is rude" I told her with a sweet voice.

" Uh oh, sorry, Kuchiki-sensi" she spoke as she lowered her finger and then looked over at the pathway.

" Umi!" was heard from the shadows, when I saw the person that was looking for the little girl I nearly cursed in front of the children. Of all people in the world, it had to be Koursaki Ichigo! Why me? Why now? Damn, the heavens for this and what they were doing to be! It was cruel and sinful " There you are!" he exclaimed as he ran to the girls side.

" It's a criminal offence to leave a child alone" I snapped. When he looked up at me he was wide-eyed " Well, hello to you too, Ichigo" I snickered.

" It isn't my fault! She ran and I didn't know where she was! Please, don't tell Uryuu!" Ichigo exclaimed. Will it seems like he knew Uryuu well, and knew what he would do if he found out about this. So, I might as well get a kick out of this.

I went to open my mouth but someones voice came first " She won't tell, as long as you work at the school for a few months" I wanted to kill Kaien! What was he thinking? Me and Ichigo, in a school for months! God, that was going to scare the children. Oh no, no, no, no.

Yet, did I know this was going to be the best thing that Kaien did for me. Just having Ichigo around for a few month was going to be the beginning and the end of me.

" I'm sure Rukia-chan can use an extra hand during classes now" I glared at the man.

" No I don't!" I snapped at the Shiba.

" I'll tell Byakuya about your issues that Uryuu exchanged with me, if you don't! Even better, I'll post an add in the newspaper for all those to read! I won't let you work alone in your condition, Rukia" he snapped. I can't believe, Kaien just black mailed me with my own brother. That was lower than low.

" Did you just black mail me? How rude! I am a grown women-"

" A very stupid grown women. You need help around here, and..." Kaien looked at Ichigo with a narrow eye " What's your name?" he questioned.

" Koursaki Ichigo" he replied.

" And Ichigo here, is going to be the one helping you -if he doesn't want his bright head removed by Uryuu. Now, may I remind you I have Byakuya on speed-dial" Kaien finished.

" What are you now? My brothers wife" I growled.

" Hai! We marry next month, you're a brides-maid" Kaien snickered. I groaned at his joke and then looked at Umi who was giggling about it all. When ever Kaien was around, I and he acted like the students I worked with, but worse.

" Fine, come on Umi and Ichigo. Class is about to start" I pulled Ichigo into the gates and watched Umi run off to Astuko. " Welcome to kindergarten again, Ichigo. There is no swearing, sexual content, touching in a sexual way, and not violence" I listed before walking into the school.

When a large hand grabbed my shoulder I froze at the touch, and looked over to see the intense eyes of amber " Is something wrong?" I asked. Ichigo sighed as he looked around the bright yellow walls with pictures that students drew, the classrooms filled with desks and a carpet " That's Nemu's class, and to the left is Rangiku" he nodded as he looked over at the blue room that was Nemu's and Rangiku's bright yellow.

" Where's your classroom?" he questions. I smiled as I walked straight and into the class straight ahead. The sight of soft orange walls filled my eyes, when I painted the room I was obsessed with orange because I was cured. On the floor was a large carpet with pink and white rabbits that held music notes. My desk was in the corner away from the sun that shinned in from the right. " Nice room" he chuckled with a smile. I loved this room.

" Thanks, you'll blend right in with the color of walls" I teased. Ichigo glared at him and then looked at the room again, when he saw a guitar black stars and a white base he looked over at me.

" You play?" his voice was soft and curious as he went to the guitar I snapped my head over at him when he went to touch my instrument before he could touch the strings I slapped him away.

" Rule 1: Never ever touch my guitar I growled as he smiled and back away from the instrument. I loved my gituar because it was once my mothers, then Hisana and now mine. I was to pass it down to my daughter, if I had one or to a son but I couldn't.

" So, you do play" he was smug at the knowledge. I rolled my eyes and went to the chalk board to write the letter of the day, which was ''M''.

" I play for the kids on Friday's and sometimes before nap-time, even for the letter of the day. Why does it concern you?" All teachers in the school played an instrument, I was guitar Rangiku drums and Nemu was piano We all learned for the kids, well, except for me. I learned when I was in the hospital, Byakuya taught me how to play well I was sick.

" It's the first thing we have in common, Miss. Kuchiki-sensi" a chuckle left my lips as his words.

" Rukia-chan! Why do you have a to-die-for man in your class room!" I blushed at the loud voice and looked over to see Rangiku, with her long strawberry locks, big breast that were tucked into her blouse and tall body. " Don't tell me, you're doing one of the main bucket list numbers you have" she winked at Ichigo who blushed. " My little Ruki-chan is getting kinky! Where's Nemu, when this stuff is going on!" she sang.

I closed my throat to get her attention " Firstly, not in my classroom, and it's on a roof! Get it right! Secondly, this is Ichigo and he is going to be helping me around the classroom for a few months" Rangiku grinned brightly as she looked over at the doctor in the room and then to me. Sometimes, I wondered how the hell she wasn't the joker from batman, with that smile!

" Sure, he's 'helping' you around the classroom. Just make sure none of the students see ya' " she sang before disappearing into her classroom. With a groan I placed my hands on my hips and rolled my eyes at her. I wonder how Gin, puts up with her.

" On a roof, huh?" I glared at Ichigo and his little side comment about my dream. So, what I wanted sex on a roof. It was wild and free, plus it sounds like fun for two sides, along with romantic when the sun comes up or the moon in vibrating down on you afterwards.

" Rule 2: No making fun of me or students" I snapped.

" Jeez, buzz kill" he smirked. I grabbed a crayon and wiped it at his head quickly " Ow! What happened to 'no violence' !" he roared.

" You broke, Rule 2! Violence is allow when it is broken, Strawberry-chan" I teased. He huffed and glared at him with his orbs before walking to the chalk board where the calendar was. " I hope you don't like your attire" I commented, looking at his outfit he was probably going to be angry when he got paint on his blue plaid shirt that was open, white T-shirt underneath and grey jeans.

" Wait, what?" he asked, when the bell rang and all the children came running inside with their bags in hand. Ichigo was going to be trampled by the herd of students that were running into my classroom but, I pulled him out of the way and onto the carpet.

" Kuchiki-sensi!" the students yelled in enjoy. I smiled and clapped my hands at the students, they followed the clapping. " Good-morning, Good-morning! It's a wonderful day to play and learn" they sang.

" Great good, everybody!" I cheered. When I noticed Ichigo was pale at the sight I grabbed a crown from the chalk-board " Today, we have a new person in class! His name is Koursaki Ichigo, he is going to be here helping me and you with what-ever we need! Say hello" I cheered before putting the chappy crown on top of his head.

" Ohayo, Koursaki-kun!" the students sang. Ichigo was silent at their greeting, I grabbed his hand and waved at the children before glaring at him to speak " Ohayo" he stuttered. Oh, you've got to be kidding me! A sergeant -someone who works under pressure- is nervous when around kids.

" Come on class, let's gather at the carpet for the letter of the day" students ran to the carpet with joy, when I sat down I looked over at Ichigo who was silent in a corner. " Ichigo, pull up a chair and join us" I told him, he seemed a little hesitate to joining a class filled with 4-6 year old. Who wouldn't be? " Koursaki-kun, why don't you tell the class what the letter of the day is? It is on the board"

Ichigo sighed as he looked at the black board, it seemed like he didn't really care to be here. Typical. " The letter of the day is, M" his voice was flat and emotionless which wasn't helping the class.

" What starts or has M in it, class?" I asked with a cheery voice.

Umi gasped as she raised her hand and bouncy in her seat next to Astuko " Umi! Momma a-and Orhime" she cheered. Out of her gens, she got her mothers cheeriness and her fathers brain for sure.

" Yes, it certainly does" I chuckled. With a hand I wrote the words on the black board and then looked around the classroom from other students to answer. " Moon!" I heard from a boy in the back. As the sea of M's came into my ears, I wrote them down and smiled at the children, they were all bright and wonderful.

" Midget" I heard Ichigo say, I shot a glare at the man and then shook my head at him. You would think that being in a building filled with children he wouldn't insult me, but he continued.

The first classes went by within hours that felt like minutes, when the bell rang and the children went for lunch I sat down at my desk. A sigh left my lips as I closed my eyes, I was exhausted. Laying my arms on my desk, crumbling papers and work that I needed to mark, I laid my hand down and closed my eyes as the world went mute.

My breath went soft and slow as I thought of all the happiness in my life. I thought of Hisana and her bright smile, that moved the world like the breeze; her touch that was exact to a feather; and the voice of an angel when she sang.

There was my mother who was short like me; with her pale skin and raven longs that were like the clear night sky. She was the Japanese snow-white in the eyes of all she met and loved. Eye of violet and lips of red wine, she had the personality of a goddess and the laughter of the sun on the ocean.

My father, well, he was a different story. The only true thing I remember about him was the fact he was stubborn and a smart-ass in general, he had a kind heart and the personality of clown when he was around I and Hisana, but that wasn't for long. In my eyes he was greatest man on the planet, but in my sister eyes he was a man who didn't want her to marry. I remembered walking in on her and my father arguing over her and Byakuya's engagement. His wondrous raven locks blew as he yelled at her with care, the grey eyes of the clouds went into a storm of anger for his daughter and his pale skin glimmered as he held her close to him when she cried. I might have not known my father for long but, I knew that under all that hard skin he was a giant teddy bear, who would do anything for his daughters and wife.

Byakuya reminded me of my father, a little more than I wished. He was known as the cold, hard and serious business clan leader, but with me he was happy, playful and kind for my being. Yet again, the last time I saw him was when I got my job working at the school, and just graduated from teachers college. God, did I miss him, but he was doing something that he thought was important. He was looking for a cure.

A cure, was there such a miracle in the world? In all the horror that was on the planet, I never thought there as such a thing as a cure that would save lives and keep families together. Maybe I was to far into having my life suck, that I didn't believe in hope anymore.

I felt my body shake softly by a warm hand, I didn't move or speak but groaned at the touch. I didn't want to wake up from my thoughts and dreams of my family and loved-ones. I wanted to stay " Rukia" was in my ear from a sweet voice,with a hand I swatted at the voices owner and groaned in response " Rukia, wake you or I'm going to sit on you" I was told.

" Go away" I moaned and turned my head, when I felt my seat move to the side and my head pulled off the desk my eyes snapped onto the person, only to see the orange'haired man with a smile on his lips. " W-Why did you wake me, Ichigo?" I asked as I yawned loudly. Looking around the classroom I noticed that the student weren't there, causing me to look out that window to see them playing and goofing around.

" You slept through lunch. I thought we would go get a bit to eat, together" I blinked at his offer and then looked at my desk. Did he just ask me out?

" Listen, Ichigo-" I tired but he covered my mouth with one of his large hands, my eyes widened as he leaned down and smiled at my brightly. What the hell, was he doing?

" Live a little, Kuchiki. It's just lunch, not like I'm going to rape you in my car, since it is back at my parents place" he snickered. Wait! What if he had his car? Would he rape me? Oh you kinky son-of-a-gun!

When he released my mouth I was silent, before standing and grabbing my purse from the desk " Fine. But, I'm picking the place and I will be telling you the rules in this school" I began to walk past him when he smirked and followed me quickly.

" Fine by me, Kuchiki-sensi" he chuckled, I looked over at him and then to the other classroom that were empty. Rangiku and Nemu were probably outside with the children, whenever the two women seen me sleeping or in some kind of state, they would leave me there and do my duties, since they knew my past and what I have been through.

" You know it, Strawberry" I laughed before opening the door, when the outside air and sun hit me I felt the warmth cover my skin.

" Alright, so what place are we eating at?" I looked over at him before looking to the sky. Karakura was small, but it had many place to eat. There was the Ramon noodle place a block away, then there was the burger place two blocks away and so much more.

" A new coffee shop across the street, that I heard makes the best sandwhichs" Ichigo nodded as he looked over at me. He seemed to stare at me alot, but that could also me my head playing treats and games on me. Why would he stare at me?

" Alright, sound interesting. So, what are the rules besides the first one and the regular?" he stuffed his hands into his pockets, as we walked towards the cross walk and through a group of people.

" Well, there no being negative in the school. It effects the students education and way of learning that rule was something that many would love to argue but I didn't because be positive was natural to me when it comes to children.

" Then there's, no girlfriends or boyfriends allowed in the school unless there is no: kissing, sucking and sexual intercourse around the children. Is that going to be hard for you, Koursaki?" I knew it was hard for Rangiku, sometime I would ask her what she did when she was teaching, and got her neediness. Sadly, I got the answer that was hiding in the left draw of her desk.

" Psh! No, the only thing you need to worry about with me is probably cursing, and putting down one of the students work" well, I didn't see that one coming. You would think, that from the look of Ichigo he got women with a simple snap of his finger but, looks can be deceiving I suppose. " I'm not one for a girlfriend, to be honest there are some many girls who get clinging and jealous. I mean, have a little trust in me, would ya' "

" Don't blame it all on them, they are dating a man with a god-like body" with a hand I covered my mouth as my eyes went wide. Shit!

Ichigo smirked as he looked at me with a fire of passion in his eyes. Wait, where did those come from? " So, you think I have ''god-like'' body, Rukia" if he wasn't smirking or wearing pants, I swear on my family graves his ego grew ten times bigger that day.

" What? No, I think you're hearing things now" I tried to cover me interest,but who was I kidding! He was lick able-... when the hell did my kinky side come to life?

" Lair, you think I'm sexy!" he exclaimed, when a blush covered my cheek I glared and him and entered the coffee shop. When the aroma entered my nose, I couldn't help but smile and nod. I needed a coffee or something to keep me up for the rest of the day.

" I never said you were sexy, Ichigo" I said with a clam tone, when we took a seat I looked around the area to see teens smiling and laughing, some business people having lunch. " What are you getting?"

The smirk that covered his thin lips made my stomach flutter and my heart skip-a-beat. It was weird that I felt like that for someone who was extremely annoying to me. " I'm going to have the Ramon noddles and a coke, what about you?" he leaned forward and looked at me with raw passion, which was something that I wasn't used to from a man, usually they looked at me as though I were a child or like I was nothing important. Not like this.

" Fried vegetable on flat bread" I placed the my hand down with the menu that I had once used. My eyes went to the people in the cafe, and how they seemed to be in their own little worlds.

" Who did this to you?" Ichigo's voice interrupted my thoughts, and caused me to look over at him. When I noticed the fire in his orbs I was silent, what was causing him such anger? I looked for the object that was causing him to get angry, when I noticed that my sleeve was raised up and my bruise was showing I quickly tucked it away. Dammit, he saw it!

" Nobody, I bruise easily. I must have binged it off of something earlier" I wasn't going to just come out and say, your sister did it the other day when she was trying to get me over at your parents house. Besides, it was healing quickly -thankfully.

Ichigo seemed like he wasn't buying any of the lie, but went on like it never happen. When the waitress came and took our orders, we were silent and practically in a staring war. He was winning.

Our food came quickly and are stares went to eating, and some chat before he asked a simple question. " What's the main rule?"

I was silent at his question, there wasn't any ''main rule'' but there was a new one in my classroom, and that was going to be the one he needed to follow for his own happiness "Don't fall in love with me"


	6. Chapter 6

_Remember me. _

_When I pass, I want you to remember me as the person who was the new beginning to your life; _

_the person who made your heart skip-a-beat, when I spoke... _

_and the one that gave you something to hold on to. _

_You and I, may have not had that much time together, but I want you to know that... I will always be with you. _

_In your heart. _

_At night when you tuck the memories of what is left of me into bed. _

_When you sleep, and dream of me and all we did together comes to mind and make you smile. _

_The arguments that crafted our budding love... _

_and the happiness that you brought me in the final moments of my beings. _

_That is how, I want you to remember me. _

Laughter was something that was regular in the school on Friday's, but today they weren't for something that I brought up, but something a certain strawberry had mentioned to the two women I worked with.

It had only been a few days since Kaien made that deal with Ichigo, about Umi and having her enter the school alone and losing track of her.

I must say now, that having Ichigo around was something that I wasn't going to complain about because, he wasn't that bad. I thought when he was forced into the school, that he was going to be a bother and nothing more, but through the days he had become some of my students hero. Well, mostly the boys.

" Rukia, is that really why you want to teach children?" I groaned at Nemu as she laughed at the me. Ichigo told them that the only reason why I worked with kids, was because I was taller than them. It was false, but got my co-workers to laugh and tease me, what a prick!

" No, I teach children because I love them" I corrected her, when I noticed that Ichigo was smirking at me, I couldn't help but snap something at him. " Wipe that smirk away, Strawberry. Last I re-call, someone was nervous around my students the first day he arrived"

" Haha, awwwe, the big bad berry was nervous around the little-one's" Rangkiu teased with her blue eyes that shimmered in the bright orange of the classroom.

Ichigo scowled at the comment and glared at me " You really get a kick out of making fun of me, eh, Midget" I groaned at the nick-name he had given me over the week. As many times as I argued with him that I was petite, he would smirk and say: What-ever helps you sleep in your hamster-wheel at night.

" Who are you calling a Midget! I'm petite, unlike your giant- ass, who has't to look down at everyone he sees" I didn't mean to use such language in the school, but it slipped and when I caught the mistake I covered my mouth with my hands. " I didn't mean to use that language" I gasped.

" Sure ya' didn't, like how you didn't mean to hit me on the first day" he grumbled and glared at me. I didn't really mind, the fact that he didn't like my violent side, well, it wasn't for him to like in the first place. It just came in handy when men thought they could take advantage of me, because of my petite and delicate appearance. It was rather shocking, how hard I could hit a grown man or a person, in general.

Did I like being violent? No, I preferred being kind and gentle to people, but when I was pissed off, stay the hell away from me and my fist; cause I wasn't afraid to take a swing at you. " You totally deserved that" I commented, when he shot a glare at me, I smiled which was almost like the finger towards him.

Through all these hours that I and Ichigo have spent together, I found myself noticed that the attractive sergeant was nothing but a giant teddy-bear, especially with the students when they cried and wept for nothing, and that he was filled with happiness -behind his scowl that made many run in fear.

I sat there at my desk with my face in my hands and my eyes on the group who were talk to one another, like they knew everyone for years, but really they only knew Ichigo for a few days.

I turned my head and looked out the window to see the students out in the yard laughing and smiling, with Karin, Toushiro, Yuzu and their friend Jinta. It was a short day for the High-schoolers and they all got out early, so they came here for some hours, which was nice for I, Rangiku and Nemu, since we never really had time to ourselves when at the school. Even if we did, I usually heard about Rangiku and Gin's wedding that was going on in the next three months. Honestly, I didn't know that they wanted to do a summer wedding, but is seemed like the busty teacher had her mind made and set, for the summer. The first month were everyone was relaxing and partying. Why was I surprised that Rangiku wanted to get married during that time? She loved to party and get drunk... it was practically her calling in life.

I wonder if I will still be here to go to her wedding? Will I be gone by then? Perhaps, I will be and, what will happen then?

Looking back at this week it seemed like my sympton where getting less. My bruising was becoming less and less, but still appearing in some area's like my arms and shoulders. Eating, was become and thought of the past. I barely ate, I was lucky to even eat a sand-which or something small. It was becoming an issue. My healthy weight that I had once held was decreasing quickly, let's just say that if I crunched my stomach I wouldn't have any wrinkles or rolls, like I used to. Sleep was my daily lover. I slept more than eight hours and got tired in the afternoon -that's when, I would gulp down coffee like it was a drug. I still vomited in the mornings and Sode seemed to be getting the idea of what was wrong with me, even though I never said anything at home nor on the phone with Uryuu -who called more than I thought he would.

A yawn left my lips as I looked down at the desk covered with pictures and work from my students. I smiled at the sight of Astuko's picture that he drew recently, with him and I, in the classroom teaching the letter of the day. He was a sweet little boy, I wish I could say the same about his father.

A soft growl left my lips as I thought of Kaien and what he always tried to tell me, when he dropped off his son. It was getting annoying, it was always ' You should try the treatment' ' There's this new hospital in town, that specializes in leukemia . Why couldn't he just leave me alone, with my want to just let the illness kill me? Easy, he cared for me, too much.

" Ruki-chan, are you feeling okay? You look tired" the voice of Rangiku caused me to look over at her with a smile. I didn't want to worry that busy bride-to-be. She had enough to worry about in her life at the moment, like what to feed her wedding guest and what time she should get her hair done for the wedding day.

" I'm fine, just a little tired" I told her. An intense and worried stare made my skin prick and my heart quicken. I looked at Ichigo as he stared at me with worry, I found that he stared a lot, maybe he found something different in me then others. Or had feelings? He better not.

Finally, when he looked away from me and to the two women in front of him, I found it easy to look down at my flesh at was as white as the snow. Was I getting paler? Yes, I was. Soon I was going to look like a ghost, just peachy.

At night I found myself thinking about, what it was going to be like once I start to truly wither away into nothing, and then die completely. Was it going to be painful? Would I suffer? How long would it take for my heart to beat it's last time? When was the day of my funeral? Who would come and get me from this world and bring me to the heavens? Hisana? My mother? My father? Perhaps, God himself?

" Hey, Rukia. Are you sure you're alright?" the husky voice knocked me out of my wonder, and caused me to look at Ichigo with my violet eyes as he stood in front of my desk.

" Umm... yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I chuckled softly, trying to make it seem like there was nothing wrong -when there was- and that I was perfectly fine, which I wasn't. With a sigh he leaned towards me, making his lips nearly touch mine. " Ichigo?" I choked as his breath tangled in mine.

" Ever since I came here, I haven't seen you eat a lunch or something to keep you content. What's wrong?" I gulped at the closeness that he had with me. I wasn't used to having someone, right in my face like this and I was sure I would never get used to it.

Our eyes poured into each others as we stared, I never thought I would see such a beautiful sight like his amber swirls. In my head there was the battle of lust and knowledge roaring in my ears; I want to kiss him so badly, but then that would mean that I had feelings for him and wanted him more than a co-worker. So, that was a hell no! " I-I just don't really get hungry" I stuttered.

With hand he cupped my cheek and pulled me closer to his lips. No, no, no, no! " You've gotten paler and more tired during the day. I knew that there is definitely something wrong, that you are hiding for the world, Rukia" I knew all this before, I actually heard this from Kaien and his son -which scared the living daylights out of me, since they looked-a-like.

With a hand I pulled his warm one away from my pale cheek and chuckled to myself " Rule 4: Don't quote Kaien, unless you're his son" Ichigo seemed to be puzzled at my words. He didn't really know Kaien or who he was to me, but that wasn't important to me. Kaien was like a brother to me, one who wouldn't shut the hell up from time-to-time and cared too much for me.

He stepped away from me and shoved his hands into his pockets quickly " So, you do have a boyfriend" I nearly choked on air at the statement. What! I didn't have a boyfriend, the only boyfriend I ever really had was a guy name Grimmejow. That relationship went on for two or three years, until I found out he was cheating on me with some women who worked at a bar a mile from here.

I took a drink of my coffee and chuckled at him for his words. Idiot was muttered from my lips causing him to look at me with his passionate; amber orbs that made woman melt. " I don't have a boyfriend, Ichigo" I said coolly. Why was I even trying to be cool? This is Ichigo, the hot-head and bright haired, strawberry who was nervous when around kids. There was no need for me to be cool.

After contemplating myself mentally I looked up at the sergeant, only to meet a daring flame that shined in his eyes " Fine then, Rukia, if you're so single and lacking a boyfriend... then go on a date with me" he smiled when I coughed on my coffee as it slid down my throat.

Did he just ask me out? What the hell! He can't have feelings for me, right? Maybe... okay he could. Curse you, charm and amazing looks!

I laid my head on my desk and sighed angrily at myself. Damn it! " What? Are you annoyed that someone actually wants to treat you?" he snickered. Oh now, he stepped over the line and into dangerous waters.

" No! I just don't want to date!" I snapped. Anger filled my eyes at Ichigo, which only made him smile and roll his orbs. Did he find this as a joke?

" So you're a lesbian" he stated.

**SMACK! **

My hand stung from his cheek, and his body fell to the floor from the hit. I stared at the red hand print that was on his left cheek and the detail print of my hand, on his flesh. The sound of the slap echoed the school, and seemed to catch the other two woman in their classrooms attention, causing them to return to my orange-paradise of a room. " Baka! Just because I don't date, doesn't mean I'm a lesbian" I yelled.

" Awe, snap! Koursaki-kun pulled out the _Lesibehonset_ card, on the Kuchiki" Nemu snickered with her long locks of black, pale skin that looked like ice and grey eyes similar to thunder clouds -when she was angry.

Ichigo growled as he rubbed his red cheek and looked at me with a fire in his eyes . He was pissed! " Let's see! You're 24-"

" 23 years old, Koursaki" Rangiku corrected from the side.

" 23 years old, don't have a boyfriend and live in a town filled with families. Oh, and you work with children who think of you as a second mother. To me, that seems like a cover for sexual preference !" my jaw dropped at his words. I didn't have anything to hide in my sexual preference. Honestly, I thought lesbian were awesome, but I wasn't one.

Nemu coughed as she looked at the two of us and then smiled at the glares we were giving one another " You forgot she has a cat" she quickly added. Oh hell no! They were not going to label me as a crazy-cat-lady, lesbian (still awesome people).

" I got Sode, when I was cured! So, that doesn't mean a thing!" I snapped at the two woman and then to Ichigo as he rubbed his aching cheek. I really did hit him harder, then I thought I would. Oh well, yet again, he deserved it for saying I was a lesbian.

" Cured? For what? Elfism" a vain popped in my forehead, at the joke about my height. Who the fuck did he think he is?!

" Got out" I growled. I didn't want to waste my time on this bullshit, and become even more exhausted then I already was today.

" What?" he questioned, but he seemed to some-what understand my language.

" I said: Get. Out!" I yelled with anger, when he didn't move I glared at him " Do you not understand my language? Hikidasu!" I spoke in Japanese trying to get him to understand.

" Listen, you need to calm down, Ruki-chan" I heard Rangiku tell me. My chest tightened and my heart raced as I glared at the fruit-head.

" You know what! All of you! OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!" Rangiku and Nemu both flinched at my tone, before they grabbed Ichigo and ran out of the room towards their own. Leaving me all alone in my room.

I stood from my desk and went to the two sliding doors to the room, with my delicate hands I closed the doors before heading to the chalk-board. I didn't want anyone to see me like this, not the students, the helpers, the other teachers and even the parents who came to pick up their children early.

I was a wreck.

I stumbled at the chalk board as my head started to spin, from my anger that caused my heart to quicken in speed. The voice of Kaien and Uryuu were in my ears as I sat down on the chair next to the chalk-board.

_" Rukia, you have a chance to fight this. Don't you want to see Byakuya come back?" _ I remember Uryuu telling me that on the phone. He called me to tell me that there was a hospital outside of town, that specialized with cancer fighters. But, I refused to go. They were all the same from when I was a child, they didn't have the cure and they didn't know what they were doing to their patients. I wasn't going to be a testing-spec-ism, to them. Did I want to see my brother come back with the cure? Of course, he would be a hero and I miss him dearly, but yet again, I didn't want him to see me back in the hospital watching over me as I withered away.

_" You have people who care about you, Rukia. They'll be crushed when they find out that you're dead from leukemia. Don't give up" _ Kaien told me that one. He didn't want to be the one to tell his wife and children that I was going to be teaching in the heavens, with all those kids who didn't see their first day of school, or school in general. I wish he would just let me do as I pleased. I didn't want to fight anymore, it was too tiring, and I've been doing this since; Hisana past. Enough was enough!

_" What about all the things you haven't done?" _ when Kaien asked me that, it made me think of my bucket list and what I wanted to do before death. I was probably never going to be able to do them all. I wasn't going to be able to have hot, steamy and wonderful sex on a roof -damn. Never get married and have kids, that is the worse thing for a women like me to accept. I probably won't go skinny-dipping -it sounded like fun. I could kiss riding a motorcycle goodbye - I want to feel like a rebel and feel the wind whip my hair in freedom. Getting shit-faced was just a dream -since my liver would probably grow and cause me pain. I wanted to go scuba diving and go to Russia, for the hell of it. And the list yet on, and on.

None of them, were going to be completed or achieved.

Yet did I know that when I thought all this was nothing but a teasing mist of a dream, there was something that twisted my faith that day.

The sound of the doors opening was in my ears as I sobbed into my knee's that I tucked to my chest, earlier to get control of myself. My vision was blurry and my mind wasn't thinking straight. I looked over to see Karin and Toushiro with the kids behind them, both teens were looking at me with worry. Great, I was caught crying for such a stupid thing!

" Rukia-sama?" Karin questioned, when she went to come towards me I stopped her with a hand.

" Take the students to Rangiku's class and tell her, that I am not feeling well" it was the excuse that wouldn't make them question me too much, but would awaken their curiosity.

Karin was hesitate when she nodded and looked over at the students as they looked at me. I didn't want anyone to see me like this, especially the students. I thought it would cause them sorrow and pain - and as a teacher I wanted them to be happy and bright, not in my deep and dark hole.

Pushing myself off the wall behind me, I stood and weakly walked to my desk. It was time that I left, and didn't come back. I shoved all my precious belonging into my purse that sat there mocking me.

The tears that stormed my eyes seemed to never-end for me, they clouded my sight and my thoughts in seconds. I took labored breathes that didn't seem to help my breathing situation.

Tightness.

Pain.

Sorrow.

Lose.

Hatred.

They were all in my heart as I stopped shoveling my things into my purse, when I felt like my body was about to give out and I was going to hit the floor, two arms caught me and held me close. " Rukia" I heard in the room, as I drifted into a sleep that would raddled my thoughts and dreams, and make want to live my life to the fullest.

* * *

My head throbbed and my skin tingled from the feeling of water on my skin. I snapped my eyes open to see a bright white sky that burned my orbs, causing me to squint and wince in pain " Shit" I whispered as I rubbed my eyes.

Opening my eyes I looked over at the side to see that I was in a blue water that was clear enough to see the bottom, that was empty and bare of life. " What the hell?" I asked myself as I looked at the bottom. When the water began to shake and my body rose from the liquid, I panicked and looked down to see a large pink lily holding me over the water.

Looking over at the ocean I noticed a fog covered in the lily and no-where else, which was weird. I looked to the distance to see two wooden boxes flooding towards me, both I remember from when I and Hisana; where at our parents funeral.

My mother was in a white shinny one, that matched her name of, Snow-white. My fathers casket was the same, because I thought of their love opposite but with the same want for each. Plus, black never did suit my father -well in my eyes it didn't. My sister probably thought black was perfect for him, since he didn't want her to marry the man of her dreams at her age. But, in the end I was the one to decide on his color because I loved my father and my mother to death -and since do.

_"Life is a wonderful thing. We stand here today sending these two lovers, spouses, parents, care-givers, friends, son and daughter to the heavens to meet the one who believed they lived long and wonderful lives. Yes, they left two girls on their own, but the Lord sees that they will be well in the future without these two parents"_

I closed my eyes and bowed my head at the words, that were spoken when I was at the funeral when I was young. I didn't understand what the priest was talking about back then, because I saw my parents next to me, holding my hands and telling me that they will see me when I pass through the gates.

Did I cry at the funeral? No, my imagination was too strong for me to think they were dead. I still saw them next to me, crying for their death.

In time though, reality came and slapped my imaginary parents away. Leaving me to cry and sob with no one around, I was never one to cry in front of people.

Now, when I heard the words and see the caskets my knowledge for the priest and what he was saying, hit me like a tone of bricks. He was saying goodbye to the two people who made many happy, left marks in peoples lives; even when death came and took them away they left a ripple in the sea of people they impacted.

I saw the two caskets side-by-side disappear into a mist of fog. I waved to them and smiled with sad eyes " Bye, Mom and Dad. I'll see you soon" I called out to them. I didn't except a answer from them, and I didn't get one.

_" My love, my only Hisana. Blow in the breeze and bring happiness to the Heavens; as you enter through the gates and kiss everyone there that you lost. Never forget that I and Rukia, will always be here for you even in our dreams. We love you, forever and always" _

My sister had a funeral but she wasn't buried, her casket was, next to my parents but her body wasn't. In her will, she stated that she didn't want her body to be in the ground to become soil but in the wind and places where I and Byakuya thought she would love to be, if she were alive.

Those words that were whispered in the air, were spoken by my brother when we traveled to America for my sister. We went to the Grand Canyon and throw her ashes into the breeze like she wanted and wrote in her will.

I cried for my sister because, my imagination wasn't strong enough then. I watched her in the hospital for month on end, and through that time I was seeing her healthy and happy. When it came to say goodbye at the funeral, her image that my mind made disappeared and reality didn't hit me... but punched me in the face.

I looked at the sparkling breeze as it headed towards the caskets of my parents. Hisana was never one to go her own way, she wanted to follow those she loved. That was one of the reason why she followed Byakuya, into marriage when my parents past. She thought that it was the best for I and my brother who made us into a family, after all of our sorrow.

" Goodbye, Nee-san" I whispered as she disappeared with the fog.

There were things that my family all had in common, back then and before they past. They all told me, to live life to the fullest.

My father said that the night before he and my mother got into that car crash. He died immediately since he tried to protect my mother from the crash. Mom was different, she told me when she woke up after the crash, but past an hour after from internal bleeding. Hisana's words were probably the ones that I remember the best.

I and Byakuya were in her room, holding her cold hands, hoping and praying that she would get through this and survive. When she was taking her final breathes, she looked over at me and said _" Mom and Dad, wrote to me before they past. They said " Hisana, if you are writing this then you know I and your mother, aren't going to be coming home to you girls ever again. I want you to know, that no matter what happens to I or your mother that we want you two to stay together. I want both my girls to make sure their lives were lived out, so, when you join us in the Heavens that there is no regrets . Rukia-nee, my time is running short and I want you to live and do everything you want in your life. Promise me" _. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of the moment.

I promised my sister that I would live my life and be happy, do all I wanted to and never regret a second of my life.

What I was doing now, was breaking my sisters dying wish and the promise I made with Hisana in her death bed. " I must keep my promise, Hisana" I whispered as I wiped my tear away.

* * *

All was quiet, the only sound was of the rain that tapped on my window. I sighed loudly and turned over onto my side, only to open my eyes and notice that I was in my apartment. How'd I get home? Did I dream all that up? Was that it, just a dream?

I swung my legs to the side of my bed, and pulled the warm covered off of me. When I looked down and noticed that I was still on my clothes, I knew that it wasn't a dream and that I really did faint at the school. But, who brought me home?

I stood from the bed only to have my legs wobble and shake, for some reason. Using the rest of my strength I went to the door, and opened it to hear Sode meowing for food. Someone was in the house, and they were obviously ignoring the poor white-cat.

A groan left my lips causing the cat to go silent and look over at me with her purple eyes. I stared back at her and then to the couch that was coming into my view, slowly. " About time you shut-up" I heard a husky voice say from the couch. My eyes widened when I thought of who it may be, please don't be Kaien or Renji! That would be the end of me.

Last time I was sick and fainted at the school, Rangiku called Renji to come get me and bring me home. When I awakened he was sitting in my room with a chair, reading a manga, before I knew what was going on he was yelling at me, about how stupid I was for going to the school when I was sick.

I loved my red-headed best friend, but he had a big mouth and little brain for my liking. I guess, I saw past the flaws and kept him around so I can see him and Tatsuki fight. Oh well, he was in my life, and I wasn't removing him from it either.

" What are you doing here?" I growled. My eyes glared at the bright orange-haired man as he sat on my couch, drink my water from the fridge How the hell did he even get in here?! I remember locking my door and putting my keys in my purse. Wait-... if he brought me home, he looked in my purse! That bastard!

Ichigo stood and walked over to me quickly " I'm glad your okay" he smiled. I froze at the sight and felt my cheeks heat up as I looked into his eyes... damn, he was certainly effective. When he grabbed me into his arms, and off the floor I was speechless from his smooth movement. " You shouldn't be on your feet. Considering you fainted in your classroom and you were breathing heavily, it is best that you keep a slow heart-beat. I don't need you fainting on me, again" so, he was the one who caught me and brought me home.

" How did you get into my house?" I asked with a narrow eye. The blush on my cheek made him smirk as he walked over to the couch, where he placed me down and told me to eat some crackers, before he made me dinner.

" Ya' know, you better clean out your purse. I'm pretty sure I found an old burger in that thing" I gasped at his words, I knew that was joke because I don't eat fast-food, and burgers was something that I was strictly not allowed to eat.

" Y-You went through my purse!" I snapped as he stumbled in the kitchen, when he wanked his head off the fridge door, I glared and held back my laughter at the sight.

" What did you want me to do? I couldn't treat you in the school around children. Besides, that rules say no sexual touching at school, also you need a place to sleep properly" my eyes widened when I heard, 'no sexual touching at school'. Did he sexual touch me when I was sleeping?! NO!

" You touched me!" I yelled. I felt my head spinning as I looked at him, with a hand I touched my forehead and took deep breaths. I couldn't faint, again.

" Clam down and take deep breathes, Rukia. I didn't want to, but to check your pulse I had to touch your neck, then I had to look for a wound that might had knocked you out" I sighed in relief, he didn't see my breast or any other places that I needed to hide. " I would have never through you're own to wear thongs and lacy bra's, though" my face went red at his words. He did see them all!

" I can't believ-" he walked over to me and touched my forehead, when he placed his hand down at his side, I went to hit him but he blocked quickly.

" Since I saw your, unmentionables, you can make me do you a favor" I seemed to calm down once he told me that. I did need someone to help with somethings and then, when I die they would be okay with my passing, right?

I scooted closer to him and sighed softly, before grabbing his hand " There's only one thing, I need you to help me with" he nodded and seemed interested in what I was going to say.

" What is it?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes " Help me finish, my bucket list"

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews! I loved them all!**

**This story will be updated every, Monday**


	7. Chapter 7

_Rain, why do you manage to pour down when I least except it? _

_Your cold droplets on my skin and, the lightening that brings the world to life in your dance; _

_The pitter-patter, of your feet that fall from the sky upon the pavement, _

_panic that fills others and cause those around to try and get out of your presence. _

_Rain...O rain, I wish for you never to go away... _

_because, today my wondrous rain, you reflect the sorrow and pain that clouds my eyes, _

_for we are the same. _

Warmth.

Laughter.

Pain.

Anger.

Betrayal.

All those wondrous words came to mind, when I opened my door this morning. It was the first day of May, what was there to be except from this month? Yesterday, was the day I asked for Ichigo's help, to complete my Bucket List. Perhaps, it was to much to ask of him, maybe I should have never thought of it. Maybe, if I never asked him to help me with the list, I would never be telling you this story or thinking about what was to come further in his life.

That was my, what if? In this present time, but back then I never thought of what would happen or did happen on May, 1st, 2013.

" Ichigo?" my eyes widened at the sight of the man in front of me, with his perfect cheek-bone that were sculpted by gods, and amber eyes that made my heart flutter and my knee's shake.

Last night, he freaked when I asked him for that favor, to finish my bucket list with me. I thought that I had lost every chance, for me to finish the list and complete my sisters wishes before she past... or before I past.

" I-I thought about it last night" he spoke. My heart stopped at his stutter and the tone in his voice, he sound so innocent and sweet in my ears for once. Shocking! I noticed the drops of sweat that danced down his cheeks and the pant that left his lips, he ran here for his house. " I shouldn't have run. You simply asked for my help, and that is something that is to be asked for of me, since I'm a surgeon. I never-"

I couldn't let him continue on his guilty rant, there was no time in my life were I actually wanted to hear it. " Listen, I shouldn't have asked you such a thing or thought you would be okay, to help me with something like that. In all it is my fault, and I don't need your pity upon it" I knew I sounded cold and cruel but, that was how I wanted him to know me for now on. Not as the kind, caring, motherly and wonderful person some thought I was, but as someone that he would forget.

" Well, it's to late for you to turn back on your asking and my favor, because I keep my promises. This morning on the way over here, I promised myself that I would be the one to help you achieve everything on that Bucket List, and I am not going to break, Midget" he was firm and surprisingly serious about that. When I first heard him say that, I thought : Give him a week, and he will break and leave me alone. But, yet again, I didn't know that this was just another step of fate that was going to lead me, towards today.

I pushed the door open for him to enter the apartment, as he stepped into the apartment I sighed and looked out at the bright, May sun and the glorious wind that made the leaves ruffle in the breeze, and the bushes shimmer slightly. " Really? And what made you promise, such a thing?" I asked him as I closed the door and turned to him, as he walked towards the fridge to get some water.

He looked over at me and then to the bottle that was in his large hand. " I thought of all the effort and help that you give to the students, and thought that it was time that someone gave you the same effort back... in a different way" he bowed his head before looking at me with his bright eyes. I was silent by the intensity that was placed on my body, it was my own silent battle with Ichigo, and I was the one waving the white flag.

Closing my eyes I turned and went to my room down the hallway. " I'll get the list" I told him, as I walked.

When I entered the room only to look over at my un-made bed with it's sheet scattered. In all the scattered mess of sheet was Sode curled up in a ball sleeping and dreaming. I turned away from the sight and looked over at the make-up table to see the large brown box that was resting next to my orange, leukemia book that mocked me as I opened the top.

An elegant song played in my ears as I looked into the wooden box with white flowers painted onto the wood. My hands whisped around the old jewelry that was once my mothers, and my sister before they past. The sight of a brown leather book filled my eyes, with it's blue ribbon that held it shut shinning in pride.

My journal.

When I was cured, Baykuya bought me this book. It looked like something you would find in a time-capsule from the 1900's. I thought it was beautiful when I first received it, and still do to this very day.

The rough and smooth spine of the book, gave me the chills. The texture of the un-even pages that glazed my finger, brought a smile to my lips. A sigh left my lips as I touched the blue silk ribbon that was wrapped around the book in my hand. This was one of my only friends that, I still held on to, from when I had leukemia back then.

" Meeeeooooooowwwwww" was yawned behind me, causing me to snap out of my thoughts of the book and the way I felt about the gift, my brother gave me. I looked over at Sode as she stretched from her sleep and purred at the feel of the warm sun that made her fur shine.

" Well, Good-Morning to you too, Sode" I chuckled causing her to look over at me with her light purple eyes. " Mew?" her head turned to the side as she looked at the book in my hand, she hasn't seen me with the book in months, and probably wanted to known why I had it now. I would wonder the same thing now, if I were in her place and not my own.

With a quick hand I grabbed her from the bed and held her to my side, before exiting the room and heading towards Ichigo as he waited in the living-room/ kitchen/ dining-room.

" This is my list" I sighed as I sat down at the table, with the orange-haired man across the table. He was wide-eyed at the sight of the book, he was most likely wondering what-the-hell did I write that he was going to be doing. But, he was wrong. Most of my journal was filled with entries of the bullying that I got at school from others, the changes that I made once I was cured and the things that I thought would cause me to get leukemia once again. Then... there was this huge section of what I went through when I was in the hospital and dying with the cancer.

" That whole thing-"

" Is filled with my thoughts and feelings, there is a list in the back on an extra piece of paper that I had" I interrupted I didn't want him to think that I was just some, boring women who has never lived and didn't have anyone to live with. In truth, my life was nice, but not wild like I wished it was. Did I ever want my life to be wild?

Ichigo was silent as he stared at the book, it almost seemed like he was going to burn the leather that held the paper inside. Curiosity was killing the orange-cat in front of me.

Delicately, I took the silky ribbon off the book and flipped the pages to the back, where the sight of a list, written in fine ink upon a pearly-white sheet of paper. My eye looked down the numbers that glowed in my eyes, from 1 to 15. Each number, had it's own purpose and idea. Some more important than the other, but all were going to be done before I die.

My eyes never left the paper as I handed it to the man across from me. He gripped the paper in his hand with his eyes on me, with a sigh I began to pet Sode with my right hand causing her to pur with happiness for the touch.

I noticed a smirk that formed on Ichigo's lips as he read the first one. " Number one: Get wasted?" he chuckled. Most people would have the same reaction to that one, it has been probably proven that all adults by the age of twenty, have been drunk before. " Y-You've never gotten drunk?" he questioned.

" Never, my health wasn't well enough for me to drink. The closest thing that I have touched from liquor is some wine, at a friends wedding nearly six years ago, and that was only a tiny glass" it was true, the only time I drank was at Orhime and Uryuu's wedding six or more years ago, and it was only a little wine, nothing big. Besides that, I have never had liquor since then. Was that sad?

" How do you live?" he questioned. Was getting intoxicated that great? Perhaps, I've been living in the shadows for way too long, but now was the time that it didn't really matter. Back then I cared about being healthy and not getting leukemia again, now, I really didn't care and wanted to live.

I placed Sode on the ground and sighed softly " Easy. Healthy meals, healthy drinks, no fast-food, no drugs, daily physical activities and getting more than eight hours of sleep" Ichigo was floored by my words, when he shook his head and looked back at the list; I was silent. My lifestyle seemed like a fairytale to many, but it was true, I managed to just keep my life healthy for my illness. Sometimes, the things we do to prevent things from happening... fail and they happen anyways.

Ichigo looked up at me and then to the list once again, before speaking " There's one that I can complete this afternoon with you" his words made me looked over at him. Which one was he talking about? " There's a garage near Karakura High-School. When I went off to college and medical-school, I had to leave my favourite thing in the world in that garage. My motorcycle"

I blushed and blinked at his words, just thinking about riding a motorcycle with Ichigo was something that made the butterflies in my stomach flutter. Riding a motorcycle, met wrapping my arms around him, pressing my chest and body into his back. I would be feeling his skin! His warmth! Why was it getting hot in here? I released a huff and took in a deep breath as my heart quickened at the thought, a sweat drop danced down my back causing me to stand and walk over to the kitchen to cool down.

He looked over at me from his seat and watched as I struggled to gulp down a glass of water, then took two pills in hand and tossed them into my mouth. It seemed like he enjoyed watching me struggle with things, and thoughts that came to mind when I thought about him, but yet again, he is a grown man who wants to do many things -and women. " Does my _god-like _body make you all panicked and sweaty, Rukia?" he snickered. Just the fact he threw in the "god-like" body comment, meant he was mocking me from when we went to lunch together. Bastard!

" No, your impulsive attitude is cutting off my air way" he growled and glared at me with his amber orbs for the comment. What did he except? A blush. A squeal. Perhaps, for me to strip and have sex with him in the kitchen -not happening!

I placed the glass down and looked at the orange bottle that was on the counter. Why orange? Why can't it be some other color besides orange? I groaned and went to the stove, to start to make breakfast for myself and Ichigo, since it was the right thing to do. Or maybe it was the fact, I could poison his food.

" Well, anyways, I can go by today and get my motorcycle from the garage and take you for a ride in the country" I was shocked that he was willing to go through all that work. I mean, getting the motorcycle, getting the gas, then picking me up and driving me to the country, all for one thing on the list. Okay, it wasn't that much.

" That sounds... actually, really sweet of you, Ichigo" I heard him move slightly in his chair, and then bow his head. When I looked over at him, I noticed the slight pink that was on his cheeks. So, the flirtatious surgeon was embarrassed with compliments. How weird.

He cleared his throat and sighed deeply before looking over me as I cracked an egg in a frying pan. " You really, think so?" he questioned. I froze slightly and looked over at his with my violet orbs that seemed to make him stutter and blush. Nice, to see the effects of my glance was the same as his.

" Yes, I really do" I smiled, when he saw the joy in my eyes he blushed and looked away. How, cute was that! " How about this? You go get the motorcycle in the afternoon, and I'll make a picnic for us" he was stiff at my words.

" Sounds like a date" he snickered. I didn't mind his words, but added in to them.

" Perhaps, it is" I spoke as I flipped over the egg and looked over at him through the corner of my eye.

All went silent as he continued to read the third goal on my list. I was busy making breakfast, nothing to fancy nor difficult. Just bacon and eggs. Yes, I eat bacon. It was the only food that was an expectation to my healthy eating, since it wasn't bad to have some fat in my life.

" Number three, go skinny dipping?" I looked over at him with a blush. I know, skinny dipping seemed childish and you do it in High-school, but, I was in the hospital for most of those moments and never got the chance. Why not, now? I mean, it was wild, fun and exotic. Plus, it was an experience that I lost.

" I never went skinny dipping in High-school. Everyone says in fun and completely wild, so it wanted to do it, but couldn't, for reasons" I told him as I grabbed the two plates and walked over to the table.

Ichigo sighed and shrugged his shoulders " It's okay, I guess. I mean, yeah, you get to see people naked but with a group it kinda kills the purpose" I smirked down at my breakfast before looking up at Ichigo. He was probably in the group with Keigo, that I heard about from Renji -who was present. Apparently, they all jumped in the pool at Keigo's place while they were drunk. Keigo started going around and kissing people -even the guys, since he was drunk- before they knew it, he was gripping Orhime and getting kicked by Tatsuki.

" You were at Keigo's the first time, you went skinny dipping, I'm guessing" I heard him choke on his food. From his reaction, I think I was right.

" First of all, he was the one kissing everyone and trying to grab my girlfriend at the time-" I nearly forgot that he dated, Orhime in High-School. I chuckled softly at the fact, it was Orhime's daughter who got him into this situation, in the first place. Small world! " Wait. How did you even know, there was a group that went skinny dipping with Keigo?"

" I went to Karakura high, actually, you might remember some of the rumors you and your friends spread about me, back then". So, the truth came out.

Ichigo was puzzled at my words and began to think about what I had just say. " I never heard of you, nor did I-"

" April, 12, 2006. It was 12:10 PM, you and Orhime just got back from the roof where you all usually ate. When you walked past me and muttered:_ 'Pregnant, whore'. _She laughed and cuddled into you, like you were some great hero of amusement" he was silent at the memory. I remembered every word, day, date, time, place, people, face and moment of my bullying in high-school. It was glued in my mind, and in my journal.

Ichigo shook his head and sighed " That was once, and I don't think you were that girl"

Just by his words I was angry, how could he say that? " June,10, 2006. December, 3, 2005. September, 24, 2005. May, 2, 2006. May, 1st, 2006. June,6, 2006. I was pale, had bags under my eyes, constant morning-sickness, dizzy-spells that I had in classes or in the halls at lunch, I didn't eat anything. You and your group of pals, all called me: whore, slut, pregnant baby-killer and the worse... catfish-coochie. Funny thing is Ichigo, you were the bully and I was the victim. I remember everything about those days and those weeks of torture", my voice was cruel and cold towards him, but went soft and caring by the end of it all. I hated talking about my bullied days, I wanted to forget it all but I couldn't, it was nearly impossible.

The room went silent as I continued to eat my breakfast, when I looked over at Ichigo and noticed that he wasn't moving or eating, curiosity got the better of me and I thought he didn't like my cooking. " If you don't like my cooking, I can throw it out and give you some yogurt that is in the fridge I told him but he didn't say anything.

" I'm sorry" he whispered to me, when I noticed the shadow of sadness that was over his eyes I was silent. Did he really just say that? Was it too late? He seemed so sad and sorry about, all he did in the past, but that wasn't going to make me forget, but it was going to give me enough strength to forgive him.

" It's fine, Ichigo" I spoke before looking at the list " Number four, dive into the ocean from a cliff. Since summer is almost here, we can do that soon" I was trying to get him out of the awkward situation with our past.

" Why were you so pale?" he asked. I groaned slightly and looked over at him with my violet orbs, I wasn't in the mood to tell people my past and what got me into trouble and made people pick on me. Maybe, in time I will be ready to tell people, but I highly doubt it.

" In time, Ichigo" I whispered, I didn't want sympathy or sorrow from him, and I didn't need someone else thinking that I still needed help, like Kaien thought. I just want to live my life and enjoy the time I have left. No dwelling on the past, nor thinking about death. I wanted to be free for once in my life. " I shall tell you in time, Ichigo. For now, can we please discuss the list?" he nodded and looked at the fifth on the list.

" Number five, have sex on a roof?" he chuckled at my idea. I didn't and don't see why it was amusing to him, having sex on a roof seemed like something that would be rather amazing, really. Just you and someone else, on a roof, during beautiful times of the day, making love and whispering things of passion in each others ears. Who wouldn't want that? " Really? Why on a roof? Why not, on a sub-way or somewhere more public?" there was so many reasons why, and what I thought of the action on a roof. Besides, it was supposed to be for my enjoyment and not his.

I huffed and looked away from him " On a roof, means you are under the stars in a mist of passion, there is no one to see you -making it private. The thrill of being in the open will make it better and more intense. When you're both sleeping you'll wake-up to the sun and feel the warmth on your delicate skin, and have a sense of peace in your mind" I thought it would be quiet beautiful, and not so barbaric.

Ichigo smiled and shook his head at my words before taking a bite of his bacon " Alright, I'll give you that one, Midget" he spoke, but my ears didn't seem to listen since I was staring at his smile. It was the first time I really saw Ichigo smile that day, I thought it was something that I wouldn't see again, but yet did I know that I would see it a lot in my life time.

" Okay, so number six is..." he trailed off as my eyes stayed on the smile that was still on his prefect lips, that made me melt. Wait-.. Rukia snap out of it, you shouldn't be thinking that way! Fuck! " ...go horse back riding for the first time" he finished, when I noticed his smile was gone and that his eyes were on mine, I froze and went silent at the sight. " I thought you being a Kuchiki, that you would know how to ride a horse" he smirked.

I narrowed my eyes towards him and sighed " My brother wasn't one for those big animals, plus I never had the time to do it. With schooling, bullying, friends and the noble family wanting so much, the little things don't come to mind" Honestly, there was a bunch of times I could've went but, I was in the hospital and my brother told me over and over that I couldn't go, because I was sick and needed to get better. I even remember my brother promising me that he would bringing horse-back riding, when I was cured and health. He must've forgotten, like I have until now.

" Hmm... sounds like you were always busy. Well, my father has a friend who has a horse ranch not far from here, in the summer I can bring you down" he told me, when he looked at the list once again he noticed number 10, 11, 15.

His eyebrows went scrunched and his eyes looked over at me with his amber orbs " Rukia, 10, 11 and 15, are all scratched out" he told me, when he showed me the paper I sighed and looked away.

" Ya', I did that myself" those were the three things that I knew I would never achieve. I scratched them out the day I got back from the Koursaki's, after I did that I cried myself to sleep. " They aren't important"

Ichigo grabbed my hand causing me to look into his eyes that were filled with care and sadness " Tell me, what made those three different from the others. What were they?" his voice was sweet and his eyes were soft. Man, he looked so wonderful right now. Woah! Hold on! What am I thinking?

I shrugged and sighed softly " It's just... those three... take too long, and I don't have that much time left" I told him. In general, those three were things that most people my age completed by now, and I'm teaching number 15 -the end result of number ten or eleven.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed at me and then softened " Rukia, what was number 11?"

I figured if he isn't going to give up then, I mind as well tell him and pervert the nagging and comment that he would give me later on. " Go on a Honey-moon, to Barbados" my voice was low, but enough for him to hear me.

" Number 10?" I groaned at his question, I didn't want to answer anymore or tell him what I once dreamt of.

" Get married" I really wanted that number on the list, but getting married meant that someone who loves me, has to watch me die after the wedding,and will never have children. That was the main two reasons why, I crossed out number ten.

Ichigo smiled and looked at the last number that was scratched out " And number 15?"

I leaned back in my chair and sighed,before shutting my eyes from his facial expression when he found out the words that were once visible " Have a child" I answered, I excepted him to smirk or snickered that I was so... blank and original, but he never did. He was silent, instead.

I opened my eyes and looked over to where he was last, only to see an empty chair. I noticed the bright orange in the kitchen that was visible from the dining room and looked over to, see Ichigo grabbing a pen. " Ichigo, what are you doing?"

He didn't answer. Instead he walked over with a pen in hand and sat down, with a quick hand he grabbed the list and looked up at me with a smile " Rukia, those three were on the list and that was the promise I made to you this morning. Crossing them out is just making my promise harder to keep" he told him as he wrote on the page.

_10) Get married_

I looked at him wide-eyed, he was really going to try and get me married! Was he out of his right mind? No, he was keeping his promise. " Ichigo, how are you going to get me married?" I questioned him.

He shrugged and kept his eyes on his handy-work " It will be apart of number 7... get a man to bring me on the perfect date. Whoever you want to bring you on a date, I'll manage to persuade them and then you just act yourself, and through a few months you'll get married" I gaped and leaned back in my seat, with a chuckle and I shook my head.

" You're crazy, Strawberry. It's not that simple" I told him.

Ichigo sat up and leaned over the table to my lips that lingered near his, with a hand he cupped my cheeks " I think you, think too much about things. Making it seem harder than it is, Rukia" he whispered. A blush covered my cheek as his hot breath touched my flesh. My lips wanted to mix with him and my mouth wetter for his taste. I wanted to kiss him? " If anything... I'll just have to married your Thumbelina ass" he sat down quickly and shook his head.

I growled slight and glared at his smirking lips. First, he makes a change to my list, then makes me want lush and now, he was teasing me. Was this guy bipolar? " What if I say 'no' when you ask me my hand?"

Ichigo looked over at me before looking about at the paper " You wont after we do number five" he snickered. I blinked at his words. What was number five again? " Oh my god, it's sex on a roof. I'm starting to think the air down there is bad for your brain" he teased.

I blushed at number five. Just thinking that he thought I and he, were going to do that made me hot and squirmy. Was he good? Was he big? Did he know what he was doing? Why am I think about this?! " You're not touching me" I told him.

With a grin he looked at me with his amber orbs filled with fire " You didn't tell me to stop yesterday, eh, thong and lace bra" he winked at me, as I glared. That wasn't fair! I was asleep and he had no right, to look at my unmentionables!

" I was asleep, and I don't sleep protest!" I spat at him.

He rolled his eyes at my words " Oh really, now? You were pretty okay, with sleep guiding me and saying 'Touch me'" he mimicked my voice as he spoke. My jaw dropped at the news. Do I really do that? No...maybe... there has been a couple of times...urgh! Yes, Rukia you sleep order. " My I say, your breast are the same size as my hand-"

" YOU SAID, YOU DIDN'T TOUCH ME!" I yelled in anger. He touched me? When I was sleeping. Oh god, no no no no no! This is just a dream, yeah, you faint again in class and this isn't real!

He leaned back with a laughter that was loud in my ears " I was joking, Midget" I tensed as his laughter. That cheeky-bastard!

" That wasn't funny, Ichi-berry" I snarled.

" It was to me"

As I glared at him he went back to writing and on the list for number eleven.

_11) Go on a Honey-moon to Barbados_.

" Who is going to go with me on that Honey-moon, Ichigo?" I was sure, no one wanted to get married to me because I was dying, there wasn't enough time and there was no way I was going to able to go to the country with leukemia.

" Easy, your new-husband. I thought your parents taught you what a Honey-moon is" he teased. Really? He had to crack out the parent jokes, you've got to me kidding me!

" Ichigo, I am serious" my voice was cold.

" And, so am I" he can't be. I didn't know when I was going to die, and I don't believe anyone was willing to marry me so quickly. Ichigo, may seem smart like his father and gotten the smile, but he also got the idiot-side of his father, that Karin and Yuzu complain about constantly.

" No is going to ask me to marry them after three months" I told him, but he didn't listen and hummed trying to blur me out. " Ichigo...IChigo... ICHigo...ICHIGo...ICHIGO!" i yelled.

" If no one will, I will, then. Don't worry about it" He told me. He would marry me? Why? He barely knew me?

_15) Have a child. Boy or girl, it doesn't matter, as long as they are healthy._

" Now, how are you going to make that one happen?" I'm pretty sure, that I wont get pregnant because of my illness. That was a dream and nothing more.

" You know that thing you pee out of? Yeah, a boy puts their thingy in there and then he squirts out these tiny white tadpoles-" he was treating me like I didn't know what sex is, that was out of the question.

" I know how babies are made, Idiot" I snapped. " But who?"

" Your husband. Me or this magically thing call sperm dourer" he clapped his hands together and chuckled at my expression of shock.

I smiled softly as he looked over the list. Looking back at my life now, and thinking about how my life all panned out, this probably the moment I start to love him. I loved the way he was positive that I was going to get married to someone, go on a honey-moon with the man of my dreams, have a child to love and cherish Have the life I wanted.

May,1st, 2013 was the date that I and Koursaki Ichigo, started our journey to complete my Bucket List and the day, I began to love the surgeon that got nervous around children, constantly made fun of my height, rarely smiled and cared for me, till the the day I die.


	8. Chapter 8

_As my life comes to an end, slowly... _

_I feel as though, I am free from all the horror and sadness that was in my past, _

_from this demon that held me back. _

_As the wind tousles my hair around, _

_I feel my heart skip and my thoughts turn to joy for my new freedom, _

_and care-free life that I craved for, for years.. _

_I started living today. _

**Tick. **

**Tok. **

**Tick. **

My eyes never left the clock, once Ichigo left my apartment after discussing my list during breakfast. Maybe, I was nervous and letting my emotions get the better of me, but there was so much that I was wondering about. Was he going to come? Did he run away from his promise?

I was getting my hopes up, for nothing.

I sighed and found my hands fiddling with my purple shirt that matched my eyes, the sleeves were draped and went to my high bicep, at my breast area there were white buttons that high-lighted my chest, at the end of the shirt it flared out.

My hands rubbed against the dark blue jeans, that shaped my thighs and bottom perfectly; according to Rangiku who picked them out and practically made me buy them. I never wore them, before today. I always thought that they weren't right for my school and image, that I crafted for my students. But, today, it was different. I felt wild and free, to do what-ever I wanted to do.

I sighed and leaned forward slightly in my seat on my couch, when I looked over at the door; waiting for the knock that Ichigo would give when he arrived. I never got one.

" Mew?" I heard from my left. I looked over at Sode only to meet her curious stares for what I was nervous for. Her purple eyes gave me the chills, and the questions that seemed to reflect in them made me worried if she was for real. I mean, what cat can ask someone a question through her eyes. Maybe, she was special? I don't know.

" Don't give me that look, Sode" I told her. I stood from the couch and went to the kitchen quickly, only to have her follow me with her tail swaying in the air, and her head held up high, like she was queen. I looked at the picnic basket that was on the counter and closed my eyes, trying to think of where the stupid surgeon was.

He's probably still getting the motorcycle from the garage. Why was I nervous? I mean, he is a grown man who can do what-ever he wants, plus, he'll come eventually, right? I needed to have faith in, Ichigo.

Opening my eyes slowly, I was greeted by Sode as she rolled on the counter and purred happily, Only if life were that simple. I chuckled at the sight of the white cat, as she rolled over and over in the sun that shined on the counter. It was adorable, but amusing. Out of the blue she twisted away from the sun, and launched at the orange bottle of my medicine that sat next to her.

I watched her tap the bottle and move it around the counter quickly in joy. Funny thing was, it was the meds I take in the morning, evening and before bed for my leukemia. She was having fun with the only thing that was, really slowing down my death.

As the bottle fell on it's side and rolled off the counter, I pouted and grabbed it quickly from her grasps. " Meow" Sode whined as she watched me. I figured she was disappointed that her little 'toy' was taken away, but I wasn't going to have her playing with my medicine which, was practically, my life-line for now.

**Voom! Voom! V-Voom!**

The sound of a motorcycle speeding down the street, gave me the chills and caused my heart to quicken. I thought it was Ichigo, which was only the beginning of my journey to love.

I grabbed the basket in my hands and scurried towards the door, to open it for him, but there was no knock. It wasn't him. It was probably some teen, with their girlfriend on the back of their motorcycle, holding on to them for dear life as her hair blew in the wind and a smiling brightly. I was envious.

I should have never thought that he was, a man of his word and that he would actually care for my Bucket list. _' Oh Rukia... even in the mist of your slow death, you manage to believe in things that are nothing but a dream. You should've seen through his statements-' _my thoughts were ended when, I heard foot-steps coming towards the door.

I couldn't wait any longer, and looked through the peak-hole. When I saw the bright orange hair of Ichigo, with his ripped jeans, white and rather tight wife beat that crafted his chest; I nearly fainted at the sight. He was so, so, so, good looking-... shut up! I blinked as he hesitated to knock on the door, with his large hands. Was he nervous?

A blush covered my cheeks as I watched him rock on the heels of his feet, and shove his hands into his jeans. Bowing his head he sighed and looked over at the door, causing my eyes to mix with his through the thin glass. Come on, knock.

Ichigo raised his hand towards the door, but pulled it away quickly causing his black open shirt to flutter slightly. The frustration that was in his heart, made him run his hands through his bright locks, and then he did it. He actually knocked.

**Knock. Kno-**

I opened the door with a smile on my lips at the sight. My eyes looked at his body and all the wondrous detail that the heavens blessed him with. " Ah, wow" he chuckled. I blushed at the sight of his amber orbs looking up and down my body, it was flattering and gave me confidence.

I grinned and looked at my attire before looking back at him " Thank you, you to look rather... handsome" I comment. I didn't want this to be awkward, but it seemed to be going that way at the moment. Okay, time to turn the wheel. " Did you have trouble getting the motorcycle?" I questioned, it did seem like it took awhile for him, but I wasn't going to say that out loud, yet.

Ichigo scratched the back of his head quickly and rolled his amber eyes. " It was alright. I had to wash it, and make it presentable for us" so, that was what took his so long. He washed and polished the motorcycle first, just for me and him. That was sweet. Looking back at it all now, it seemed that Ichigo, was trying to get me from the beginning.

" Watch it, Strawberry. Anymore, and I'll start thinking you actually care for my opinion" I teased. I didn't want him to believe that he could just, wash a motorcycle and get me in bed. It took a lot more to break this Kuchiki. It did, right?

He chuckled and grabbed my hand in his, causing my cheeks to heat up and turn pink. My breath got stuck in my throat, when he pulled me into his chest.

Every muscle that was hidden under his shirt, was touching my covered skin, and making my heart skip and dance like crazy. I could hear his heart-beat in his chest, it was like a song that I wanted to repeat and never end. It was beautiful. I felt one of his large hands tangle in my short raven locks, and the other snake around my waist.

I placed a hand on his chest, and pushed out of his hold and stepped back with my head bowed. If I were in his arms any longer, I would've never wanted to be released. " What was that about?" I managed to speak in his presence.

He blushed and looked out at the sun, and the busy streets of the town. " Nothing, I just wanted to hug you, I guess" his voice was weak as he kept his eyes away from me.

I nodded and gripped the basket tightly. I closed the door and took in a deep breath as I looked at, Ichigo with my bright eyes that shined for him. " Ummm... okay then?" he seemed down at my reaction. He probably wanted me to blushed and tell him 'Oh, it's alright' but he was wrong, I wasn't going to tell him that touching me was okay. Not yet, at least. " C-Can we go?"

With a smile he turned and nodded " Of course" he said, his voice was bright and happy as he spoke to me. I never thought he would be like this either. I mean, happy and feel-free.

As he skipped down the stairs, I followed him down the stairs and felt a bounce enter my step. I stopped when a bright, shiny object flashed into my eyes I froze and covered my eyes. Ichigo's motorcycle.

My eyes trailed down the black and shimmering paint as it sparkled in the sun, the blood red flames that swept across the back; seemed to give the bad ass look. In the mist of all the flames there was a name that was painted with sharp edged writing, I blinked as I read the name: _Zangustu. _

I looked at Ichigo as he stared at the bike with happiness, it really was his pride and joy. " It's a very handsome bike" I told him. He looked over at me and smiled at the comment. When he grabbed the basket from my hands, I was silent and just watched him. He placed the basket in a compartment in the back, that opened and closed easily.

" Here, put this on" he told me. My eyes went to the black helmet that was in his hands, before taking it in mine. " We'll have to wear them, while we are in the city. Once we get into the country, we can take them off" wasn't that dangerous and against the law? What if we got into an accident, and I went flying, and died? It's quicker than dying of leukemia.

Ichigo swung his leg over the bike and sat down with his helmet on his head, he seemed so natural on the bike. I stumbled towards the bike with my heart racing. Why was I nervous? I felt a soft sweat trickle down my back, as I sat on the bike behind Ichigo.

My cheek heated with a blush as I wrapped my arms around his waist, causing my body to press against his perfect one. My fingers seemed to wonder the material of his wife beat, and feel the bumps of muscle that was hidden. Damn, he really did have a "god-like'' body. I felt my breath stuttered as I thought of the comment.

I felt my mind go blank when he grabbed my thighs and pulled me closer to his back. My body was smacked together with his, and our clothing was mixed together as one. If it weren't for the material, we would be considered the after-math of good, caring and meaningful sex.

He removed his hands from my thighs and looked over at me with his bright amber eyes, making my hands grip onto him tighter. I didn't want to let go of him, was that sad? I liked the feel of his tan and warm skin touching mine, his perfect stomach at my finger tips, his wondrous eyes on me and a rare smile on his lips for me. I blinked at the thoughts that just entered my mind and the likes, I had for the man I was holding. Did I have feelings budding for him? I better not, if I did then that would be a cruel thing for him and for me in the end of everything.

Looking back now, I should've never let Ichigo and I go on that ride on his motorcycle. Because once I held his body once, I didn't get enough and wanted to hold him more. He was a addicting drug, that I dreamt of holding at night and still do, even when I think of it now.

I jumped slightly as the bike came to life and started to shake under me. " Hold on tight, sea-monkey" he joked. I growled at the "sea-monkey" joke and slapped him quickly. I hated the short jokes he made, I really didn't need them since I knew I was short, like my life was.

" Shut-up, fruit-basket" he scowled at the comment and glared back at me. What? I needed to make a comment about his name, and his hair. I mean, he looked like a bright orange with his hair -that reminded me of the juicy fruit, and a certain ribbon-, and then there was him name: Ichigo. It meant, strawberry. He was just asking for the fruit-basket comment.

As he glared over at me, I noticed the sudden spark that was in his eyes and the flame that brightened slightly. " Watch it, hamster. I might leave you out in the country, to be taken away by vultures" I narrowed my eyes at the comment and pouted. I wasn't that tiny, and I'm pretty sure that vultures, weren't in Japan.

" Just... go" I growled. I didn't want to continue the fighting and endless comments towards one another. I just wanted to feel the wind in my face and my body feel free in the movement of the air.

With a nod he began to drive down the road with the motor of the bike in the air. I looked over at the side-walk to see the blurs of people as they walked, and the mixture of buildings in my sight. The windows shimmered and mixed as we past them quickly, my hold on Ichigo tightened as he turned a corner of the city.

The cursing wind on my cheeks made me smile, it was crafting to my shape as I broke the wind. Finally, there was something that crafted to my liking, not like everything else in the world that I had to shape to. For every second of the wind breaking, I felt my life and worries lift and fly to the sky. The warm sun beating down on us, was just keeping me alive in the moment, but the rippling wind made my heart flutter softly.

I felt free.

There was nothing that was going to hold me back in the wind, the only thing that came to mind when on the back of "Zangustu", holding the flirty surgeon, was the endless day that I live in fear and didn't do this sooner. Those days seemed like a dream in the moment, but were still fresh in my life and the envy for all those who I saw doing things I wanted, was still my tiny green monster on my shoulder. One of those monsters, was blew off and disappeared into the street as we exited Kararkura town.

Soon, it was just I and Ichigo on the country roads. There was no one else, just us as the motor 'roared' in the silent air. As soon as the town was in the distance, Ichigo pulled over to the side and stopped the bike.

A chuckle left my lips as I looked behind me to see the town. The large business buildings there many men and women worked, cars and streets of people all together as one, stores were endless amounts of people entered and exited. With the smog over the city and the life in my eyes, it simply looked like Karakura town was a globe. Holding everyone inside and having no way out.

I felt the helmet on my head slowly be lifted. I looked over to see Ichigo taking my helmet off, and placing it with his on the side of the road.

Looking at the two helmets side-by-side, I smiled. I don't know why, but it seemed like I needed to smile at the sight. Perhaps, it was because it was the last bit of protection that I had, for my life and it was disappearing. I was more wild.

Ichigo got back on the motorcycle and waited for me to hold onto him once again. Once I was gripping on to him for dear life, I finally noticed the smirk that was on his lips as he sped down the road. He seemed to be planning something. " What are you thinking in there, Koursaki?" I asked.

He smiled and laughed at me slightly, as we passed by several tree's and fields of grass " I'm going to try something, but you need to hold on really, really tightly" he warned. I didn't like the sound of his voice, it seemed devilish and troublesome.

As the motorcycle turned around and I looked forward to see the road ahead, I found myself holding onto him tightly. I was in fear that he was going to do something out of the ordinary, and possible get me killed. Even, if it didn't necessarily matter. I squeezed my eyes shut and clanged onto his body for dear life, as he sped down the road.

When I felt the bike lift slightly, I opened my eyes widely to see the road passing by my face. He was popping a wheely, well I was on the back! I felt fear fill my heart as we went back to regular level. I was going to kill, Ichigo for pulling such a stunt.

_Why do you even care? It was wild and crazy, I thought you wanted to live a little. Quit being a stick in the mud, Kuchiki!_ I was being a stick in the mud, when I thought about it. I shouldn't care, it was something that made me feel like I was on the edge of death in a way. And there was something about the whole experience that seemed to make me think, of all the things in my life.

If the wheely didn't work, and I fell to my death, it would have been a easier way to die. Leukemia was silent and slow, it would take weeks and weeks for me to pass, but when I did eventually die... it would be long. Why was I afraid to die? I was already dying and being afraid, wasn't going to get me anywhere. I needed to stop thinking that I was going to make it through this, this time and just face the facts. I was dying and I needed to live my life, with a little life or death situations.

There was no more bubble of worry to conquer my soul.

After a half an hours or more of the wind going through my locks, and the speed of Ichigo's bike. We decided to eat. He pulled up to the edge where the helmets were place, I stayed on the bike as he got the basket from the back and headed towards the open field across from the helmets.

I just sat there. I sat there, on that bike, thinking of all the freedom the ride gave me. I liked it... no... I loved, every minute of it. I loved the fact that I didn't have to worry about much, just the bugs that might hit me and the balance of the bike. There was no thinking about my health, and how I needed to think of something else. Freedom, was my new best friend.

Wait... If I loved every minute of the ride, then that meant I loved holding onto Ichigo.

A blush covered my cheeks as I realized, that I liked to hold him. My embrassment soon was washed away, when I thought of the impact that my death would have on him. I couldn't do that, I know that Ichigo did -in the past- make my life a living hell, but he was a nice guy. Hold on, did I just say he was a nice guy? Where did that come from? Oh god, Rukia, don't you dare go falling for a guy, when you're dying like this. Ichigo deserved someone, who he could grow old with and raise a family. You can't do that.

I bowed my head at the realization of it all. I was never going to be that someone for someone out there. I was going to be nothing but, a grave in Karakura's cemetery.

A tear danced down my cheek as I thought of myself and the way, everyone was going to have to say goodbye to me. They'll either had to say it, when I was dying in the hospital -or where-ever I was found, at the funeral or never say goodbye at all.

I didn't want them to say, goodbye. I didn't even want people at my funeral I wanted everyone to go on with their lives, and never look back on the day I pass, and think of the women I once was. I wanted them to think, that I was some-where out there, watching them with my family and smiling at their lives, because I was happy to see them.

" Rukia! Come on!" Ichigo's voice snapped me out of my sad thoughts. I turned to see him over in the field with a blanket, that I packed, laying on the green grass as he sat there waiting for me. The basket was next to him as he stared at me, with a bright smile on his lips. " Come on, Midget!" he called out.

I scowled at the name, and slowly got off the bike and pushed all my thoughts away for now. I walked over to him slowly and smirked at him " Hungry, I am guessing" I teased. He chuckled as I sat down next to him and looked over at the forest that was in the distance. It was breath-taking here.

An empty green field of green grass, where we sat, a light forest filled with tree's and bird in the background, and the bright blue sky above us filled with white clouds and the sun. It was something that you would see in a movie or in a magazine. Never, in real life.

I grabbed the basket and opened the top, allowing the sight of food enter my eyes. My stomach never reacted to the sight of the meal, since it barely ate at all. When I looked over at Ichigo and noticed the hungry look, in his eyes I figured he wanted me to give him a plate, so he could eat already.

I reached into the basket and started to place the food down on the blanket. There was: potatoe salade, rice, vegetables, curry and some cupcakes that I had in the house.

I grabbed a plate so, Ichigo wouldn't think about my illness and bother to ask me, why I wasn't eating at all. When he shoveled on food onto his plate, I was shocked. This morning, he barely ate my food, but now he was eating it like it was the last meal he was going to be getting. " Umm, Ichigo?"

His eyes looked up at me as he swallowed the food in his mouth " Yes?" his voice was bitter and sweet. I never thought he would be the type, to get angry when someone interrupted his eating but I wasn't going to judge him.

" Never mind'' I spat out. I went to eating the food on my plate, trying to avoid all the eye-contact that I could get from the hungry surgeon.

Silent was in the air, except for the should of the leaves in the breeze, birds singing and some bugs buzzing around. It was peaceful.

Amber eyes looked at me as I ate, and then my body slowly " Who taught you how to cook?" I was taken back by his question. I looked over at him and then to his empty plate, he must have enjoyed my cooking. I was glad that he did. Hopefully.

A smile crossed my petal lips as I thought of my brother trying to teach me, when I was in the hospital. It was strange how he tried to teach me there. He would get nurses to wheel me down the hospital kitchen, and get the staff to leave for an hour. In that hour he would tell him how to cut, clean, cook, fry, and make food.

I leaned back and laid on the blanket, and looked at the clouds in the sky. Somewhere, my brother was looking at them as well, hopefully, or he was with his friends, laughing and enjoying life. " My brother did" I answered him finally.

Ichigo smiled as he laid next to me, and placed his hands behind his head as he looked at the clouds. " Really now?" he chuckled. I know it was hard to believe, that a grown man taught a girl how to cook, but it was something that my brother thought I needed to know.

I nodded and looked over at him slightly, only to see his amber eyes stuck on a cloud in the shape of a heart " Once my sister past, Byakuya, practically, acted like a parent to me. Well, since there was no woman in my life anymore, he took it upon himself to teach me" I bit my lips as I remembered my brother and how he would make me laugh in the kitchen, about Hisana and how she could only burn water when they first met. But, in time my mother taught her how to cook, and she got help from him as well. By the end of it all, my sister was a cooking genius. " He used to bring me into the kitchen and sit me on the counter, to watch him cook. Sometimes, he would let me put things in pots and cut some vegetables, but nothing big until I was a teenager. He was afraid that I would cut myself and never want to cook again". More like cut myself and have to get a blood transfusion. For some reason, everything that I did back then was dangerous for my condition.

I looked to the sky to see the clouds, as they floated along with their random shapes. That's the thing I love about the sky and the clouds. It always changed no matter the day and the time. Clouds changed, shape, size and color every minute. The color of the sky would change by the weather, and then there was the light that it would bring on several days of the year. It was a constant change.

" Is your brother, your hero?" I heard. I didn't look over at him nor take my eyes off the sky. The question had been asked to me several times before, and it was true, my brother was and is my hero. He took care of me, when no one was there. He taught me things that no one cause. Byakuya was the father that I lost when I was a child, he filled that void that I desperately needed filled as a child. I loved him, like he was family and that he was going to be there for everything, but at the end of the day, there as always the a lingering fact. He wasn't my blood brother, but an in-law. I would never tell him that or think it often, because he was more of a real brother then I would ever have. And I wasn't going to lose that, because of some fact.

" Yeah, he is my hero. He's a lot of people's hero, because of what he does for many he meets" I told him. There was so many men and women who thought of my brother, as a hero. One of them being my best-friend, and another being the person who told me about my leukemia Everyone of them thought of my brother, as a hero because of what he did for them.

Uryuu may seem like the perfect man, with his medical degree and happy family, but that was all different about six or more years ago. When he and Orhime, wanted to get married, his father kept saying that they were too age, and that it would never work. Uryuu being the type to try his hardest and do the right thing, kept trying to get his father to listen and let him wed but it never worked. One day, Byakuya was in the hospital where Uryuu and his father were arguing. He was there getting me medicine and talking to some people about the search for the cure. When he seen the two fighting he stepped in, before long the two were agreeing with each other, and at the end of it all, Uryuu was allowed to get married. But, my brother, had to make a deal with the doctor. Uryuu's father told him: If he wants to get married, then the wedding is being paid by his student funds and his money for medical school. It was a rather hard choice, the love of his life or the job he wanted the most.

My brother told him to get married, and not to worry about the school. The day of the wedding, I and my brother were there watching the two as they tied the knot. While opening gifts, I noticed that Uryuu was still as he looked at a certain gift... it was my brothers. Byakuya had given him the money to go to school, and become a doctor like he dreamed.

Byakuya was a hero. He was born one, well, not really, but he had the heart of one. Unlike most rich people and nobles, he gave to the poor and helped people be the best that they could be. He touched many and, would ever be forgotten.

" I know, your brother helped a lot of students from my graduating class. Like Chad, and Uryuu, I remember those days they would come to my house, and drag me out of bed so I could build, the Kuchiki manor for my schooling. Honestly, if it weren't for your brother, I don't know if I could've become a surgeon" I was shocked at the news. I knew, Ichigo once worked for my brother for his schooling, but I thought it was to not be a bother for his father and family. It was hard enough, for Isshin to take-care of the twins and wife on one income, but then medical school on top of it. It was impossible.

I looked over at Ichigo, and rolled onto my stomach before propping my head up with my arm " Ichigo?" he looked over at me, once he heard my voice. " Have you ever done something that was romantic and completely random?" I don't know where that question came from, but I knew were it brought me and him. A smile covered my lips as I watched him think about it all.

Ichigo sighed and blinked slightly as he thought about it. There must have been a lot of relationships he had to think about. " No, but that's all going to change some-day" he told me. What did he mean?

I raised a brow at his words, and watched as he stood from the blanket and took out his phone. I had no idea, what he was doing or thinking at the moment. " What do you me-" I tried, but he stopped me by offering me a hand to get up.

My small hand fit in his lips a perfect peice to a puzzle. He pulled me to my feet quickly, but I stumbled into his chest. I blushed at the contact and went to pull away, but he swept me off my feet without an effort. " Ichigo, what are you do-" he stopped me once again. It seemed like he didn't want me to speak and ruin the moment, but I was curious for what he was thinking in that bright-head of him.

I heard the crunching of his shoes on the grass. When he placed me down on the grass, I looked up at him and waited for him to say something. " May I?" he asked, as he took my hand in his.

" Would it make any difference, if I denied?" he smirked and pulled me close causing my body to press against his. One of his arms wrapped around my waist and the other guided me through the tall grass to a soft movement. When I noticed the motion, I pulled away and took a deep breath as I looked at him " Ichigo, I can't dance" I admitted.

He move closer to me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. When he lifted me towards his lips I shivered and blushed at the closeness. He was so close. " I'll make you dance" he whispered. I was confused by his words, but when he placed me on his feet I was grinned at the romantic gesture.

_Click. _

When I heard the 'click' from his I-phone, I figured music was going to play, but never did I believe the song that he would play for the moment.

_Take my hand_

_I'll teach you to dance_

_I'll spin you around_

_Won't let you fall down_

_Would you let me lead_

_You can step on my feet_

_Give it a try_

_It'll be all right_

I couldn't help but smile at the music. The song was perfect for the moment and the situation. I can't dance, and here he was making me dance with him in the middle of the country, in the afternoon, with no one around. And more importantly, on the day I decided to live.

I laughed when he spun me around in the air, and then returned me to his feet where he moved right and left slowly.

_The rooms hush, hush_

_And now's our moment_

_Take it in, feel it all, and hold it_

_Eyes on you, eyes on me_

_We're doing this right_

_Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love_

_Spotlight shining, its all about us_

_its all about us_

_And every heart in the room will melt_

_This is a feeling I've never felt_

_but its all about us_

I leaned into his chest as he moved me around from step to step. As the music played in my ears, so did the sound of his heart and the rhythm of his breath that filled him lungs.

I looked up at him with my bright eyes, only to see that he was looking down at me at the exact moment. Ichigo made me feel special, and alive, like there was nothing in the world that matter. He made me feel like my sister wasn't gone, my parents were alive and as though I wasn't dying at the time.

If there was an easy way to tell you how my story ended, I would be telling you but there isn't. Now that I sit here and think of that day, there was a huge part of me that awakened because of Ichigo. And I could never say how much I was thankful for that.

_Suddenly, I'm feeling brave_

_Don't know whats gotten into me_

_Why I feel this way_

_Can we dance, real slow_

_Can I hold you, real close_

_The rooms hush, hush_

_And now's our moment_

_Take it in, feel it all, and hold it_

_Eyes on you, eyes on me_

_We're doing this right_

A smile covered his lips as he dipped me down slowly and looked into my eye, I was silent at the action and looked into the deep whirls of amber that mixed with my violet orbs. The breeze made the grass move, and his hair whip with life.

My eyes locked on the emotion that was in his orbs, I didn't want them to disappear. I placed a hand on his cheek,to feel the warmth that vibrated off his skin and the tingle that his touch gave me.

_Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love_

_Spotlight shining, its all about us_

_its all about us_

_And every heart in the room will melt_

_This is a feeling I've never felt_

_but its all about us_

_Do you hear that love,_

_they're playing our song_

_Do you think we're ready,_

_oh I'm really feeling it_

_Do you hear that love,_

_Do you hear that love_

_(repeat 3 times)_

As he pulled me up to his chest again, I closed my eyes. I wanted to savor this moment, in my mind for the rest of time.

I stepped off his feet and looked down at my own, trying to prevent myself from stepping on his. With a hand he lifted my chin, causing me to look into his eyes and take my thoughts of my foot-work away. " Don't worry about it," he whispered as he leaned down towards me.

My breath was still as his forehead was pressed against mine. The only sight that was in my orbs was his eyes and the perfection that they held. I have never and will never see eyes, like, Koursaki Ichigo's ever again. Unless, his children have the same, but I probably will never see them for myself.

_lovers dance when they're feeling in love_

_Spotlight shining, its all about us_

_its all_

_And every heart in the room will melt_

_This is a feeling I've never felt_

_but its all about us_

_Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love_

_Spotlight shining, its all about us_

_its all about us_

_And every heart in the room will melt_

_This is a feeling I've never felt_

_but its all, all about us. _

When the music came to an end, neither of us parted or let go of one another. I didn't really want to let got of him, and I never did.

I wanted to freeze time, right there and then, but that was impossible. With one last movement, he spun me out causing me to giggle, and spun me into his chest as my arms crossed around my chest.

I looked up at him in the silence and froze. " You remember that rule?" he asked. I frowned and nodded at the memory of the main rule I told him about. He can't fall in love with me, it was nothing but tragedy and sadness, that would enter his life.

" Yes, I do" I told him. When I went to pull away, he kept me close. What was he trying to do?

He turned be around once move, so I was chest to chest with him and pressed his forehead to mine. The feel of his sweet and warm breath on my skin, made me blush and think of those perfect lips that taunted me. " Why did you make, that rule?" he whispered.

I thought for a moment. I wanted to say: because, I'm dying of Leukemia and don't want you to love something that, will disappear and be buried any day, now. The truth was. When I made that rule, I was afraid to fall in love with him, and I was afraid that I wouldn't want to leave the planet with him still on it. I didn't need Romeo and Juliet to become, reality and not fantasy.

" Ichigo, it's not good to love me" I told him.

He shook his head and looked down at me one last time. " Why?"

I took his hand in mine and bowed my head. I didn't want to tell him, that I was dying and I wasn't going to, either. " Something is... wrong with me. This 'something' , is going to take me away some-day, and you will never see me again. I don't want, someone to love me and then lose me. That is too, cruel" he was silent at the words , I spoke.

* * *

**Song - All about us by: He is we, feat, Owl City. **

**Fan replies! **

**Nastunoha- **Haha, you're almost right with the whole " Ichigo, will probably say thing" but, that is most likely later and not now. For Tatsuki's last name, I will check it out and see if I'm wrong. I probably am. Thank you, for the great review, and I hope to hear from you again.

**Guest- **I am glad that you are in love with my story, I hope you stay tuned in and keep reading to see the ending. Hope to hear from you soon.

**EmpressMinea- **Thank you, so much for the review. For the "happily ever after" part, I am not telling. In the end there will be a huge reveal for you all, and I want to keep it a secret. Can't wait for another review from you! And for Sode, I try to make her as adorable as possible! ^.^

**Xsamp- **I am so happy you love my story! I know it's sad, but there will be happy parts that will cover over the illness. So glad you'll be waiting, the story is updated every Monday XD Review soon.

**Guest- **Thank you for all the positive words, and for Rukia telling Ichigo. Well, that is a long way to go! Ichigo, hasn't figured it out but he is slowly getting there. Stay tuned for all your questions to be answered, I promise they will be in further chapters. I too, can't wait for number 5 on the Bucket List, it will be my most sexy and steamy lemon yet.

**teshichan- **Thank you for the review, I hope you review again. I'm happy you will continue to read, even if the ending is sad, it means a lot. Haha, same with number five, it will be fun to write and hard to completely capture for me. The plot is similar from " A walk to Remember", but the ending will be different and the twist will be different too. But great job, on picking that out, you're the only one who noticed that .

Sorry guys for it being so late. I just got back from the hospital. I got a concussion, and really shouldn't be on the computer right now, but I promised a chapter. Thank you for all the support, and reviews. It is actually the first time, where I haven't had someone tell me, I need a beta. I'm guessing all that hard-work is paying off.

Till next Monday, Review and enjoy your week!


	9. Chapter 9

_In the dawn. _

_When the sun rises and all comes to life,_

_there is a tiny piece of your soul that seems to come back; _

_from a long journey away from your body. _

_My love, my only, and my friend... _

_when my soul is gone, and my spirit is only in the air for it's journey; _

_I have faith that, it will come to yours and be there for the light of your new day. _

_For the reason, of the happiness you all gave me, _

_but do not fright when my spirit doesn't come to you one night, because it might have _

_been with someone that needs my presences more... more than you and I. _

_This person could be the last peice of me; on this planet and you must understand that they are more important to me... _

_Because, they hold a bit of my light that once shined in the sky and now, is wandering around and watching you all in happiness. _

_I will never die, not in spirit at least. I will always be with you, my little light and loved ones. Just because, you can't see me... doesn't mean, I am not there with you. _

_Because, I am always with you.. _

All was silent as I looked into his amber orbs. I have to admit, that there was something in the man that, made me want to tell him everything and have this night-mare over with. But, I was too, stubborn and hard-headed at the time. Only if he knew that back then.

During the romantic gesture, of dancing in an empty field there seemed to be a new spark in my heart. The spark of a budding love. This spark never faded and never would, trust me, I tried to make it disappear through this story, but he seemed to light it every-time, I saw him.

Maybe, I didn't want that spark to vanish, but to spark into an uncontrollable flame that burned me and made me feel, this thing I craved for like a flame that lives for oxygen. He was almost like my life source.

We weren't in the field anymore, but standing outside my apartment complex with the rain that magically appeared, well we were at the feild. When, our argument got heated, the weather seemed to change in the area. It went from sun and wonderful, to rain and lightening. It was almost like something was telling us, to stop arguing and leave everything at my words.

Yet, here we were. Standing in the parking lot of my apartment building, with the pouring rain, beating down on us like on-going waves that came from the oceans, lightening in the sky that lite the dark with a single flash. There were winds that swept my wet locks around, and blew the rain into a hard mangle.

It didn't bother neither of us.

My eyes shifted to the warm hand, that he had placed on my wet and cold cheek. His thumb drew tiny circles, giving my skin a spark of heat. I rubbed my lips together, as I looked up at him once again. He was so close to me, and I wanted to touch him and kiss him. But, I couldn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't.

It all seemed so slow.

He leaned down to kiss me, in the rain, like a romance novel or movie. My heart raced as, I looked at his lips getting closer and closer to mine. But, this isn't _The Notebook_ or _Dear John. _This is something that, I didn't want and wasn't on the list.

" Ichigo, don't" I told him. With my small hand, I took his from my cheek and allowed the warm to vanish. I didn't want to be cold, nor did I want to lose his touch, but it was mandatory for the situation. I didn't want to be, his romantic kiss in the rain that many women dream about, as their boyfriends or husbands sleep next to them. I want to be, the one person he can't stand to be with and won't miss.

He stepped away and looked at me with such hurt eyes, that I wanted to cry and kiss him deeply to swipe it away. " Sorry, it is a bit, cliche " he told me, as he rubbed the back of his neck. He was right, it was cliche , but it was romantic.

I shook my head and took a deep breath, as my eyes looked down his wet torso that my arms had wrapped around earlier. " It's not that, Ichigo" he turned with a puzzled look in his eyes. For some reason, the constant question was in my mind as I looked at him. How many women has he played this for? Orhime, was one of them that had fallen head-over-heels, for this act, but not me. I was different.

He shoved his hands into his jeans and smiled weakly. " Then was is it? If kissing in the rain, isn't the reason, then what?" I bowed my head at his question. I wanted to say, I'm dying and you would lose me before you could truly know me. That wasn't happening.

My violet orbs locked with his as, I looked up at him from the ground. " Like I was saying, I am not good to love me", I reminded him. He didn't seem satisfied with my answer. He probably would've liked it more, if I said that I don't love, and left it at that. I wasn't willing to lie, like that to someone who was helping me.

Frustration filled his eyes as he looked at me. He ran his finger through his hair and growled loudly, he was angry. " Listen, Rukia. You say that, you aren't good to love, but I don't pay it. You look healthy and well, to me right now, and that is enough for me. You speak of this 'something' that will end you, but I don't see anything wrong with you". Only if, he knew the missing puzzle piece that was sitting in my apartment with it's orange color blaring in the darkness. " And I'm a, fucking, surgeon", his voice was harsh and rough. He was really frustrated that he couldn't, figure me out or my 'secret illness'. Shame.

I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head. " Just because, you are trained and educated in medicine, and save lives, doesn't mean anything. I get it, Ichigo. You care, and you're not what you once were back then, in High-school-"

He scowled and huffed at my words. He didn't like were I was going, but I didn't give a care. " Really? You barely knew me, back in High-school. How would you know, what I was like back then?"

I took a step forward and slapped his chest with my fragile hand. " I remember it quite vividly , in my head what you attempted to do when we first met", he tensed at my words. " The first thing you tried to do, when we first _officially _met, was profile me".

We didn't speak for a moment or two. We just stood there, letting the rain pour down on us as we looked into each others eyes. My lips were red and plumb as I looked at the surgeon. " The truth is, Ichigo", his name on my tongue was like a song to my ears and I didn't care about my heart and the way it fluttered. He needed to know the truth and what, I did wrong back in the _old days. _" I profiled you, a long time ago. Ever since, you were 16 or 17, I've been guessing about who you are and what you were truly like. For the reason, of the days and the comments you sent towards me. You never thought much of me, but I thought a lot about you back then, and may I say... you are nothing like I thought you were". My eyes filled with tears, as I looked at him. I did judge him back then, but now that I knew him and actually know him some-what. I knew different.

Ichigo took in a deep breath and muttered something that didn't catch my ears, at the moment because of the beating rain, that was on my skin. " I just want to know, what is hurting you and going to stop you from loving someone". That was all he wanted. If he really wanted to know, he should pressure Uryuu or hang-out with his "twin", Kaien. Those two, were almost the same, except for a few features like hair and eyes.

I thought about, what may happen if I told him and what he would respond like, but I never uttered a word of my leukemia " You're smart, Ichigo. Put the piece of my puzzle together. Try to put me together, like you attempted the first time we met", he seemed stunted at my words. I wasn't going to be like, some women who would tell him that, they were dying of the worse cancer.

He went to yell, but I stopped him. " I may seem like, an easy puzzle but, I am harder to put together. I will give you one question, and I will answer, but you can't ask me about my 'something'", it was only fair for him, that he knew something that would help him with my puzzle of a personality.

He groaned in anger and sighed in frustration once more. He was probably not used, to women giving him a challenge. Most would, probably, fall at his feet and tell him what he wanted, instead I was playing a dangerous and foreign game with him. I was going to and will, make him work for my heart. " What are you most afraid of?"

I grinned softly and went to leave. As I walked away, I thought of my number one fear. It wasn't dying, because it was nothing to me, now. The thought of being betrayed, was nothing to me in my mind. I froze, when a flash of lightening covered the sky. I looked over at him and connected my eyes with his " I'm afraid, to love someone, I can't leave".

* * *

My body shot up from the blankets of my bed, and my breath was in gasps. I was in fear, for what I had agreed to, yesterday outside my apartment. What was I thinking?

The more he got to know me, the more pieces of the puzzle he would put together. Eventually, when he figured me out... I would fall in love with him. He would be my fear, that I can't over-come. Maybe, now, that I think about it; at the end of this story I will hopefully find a way to over-come my fear, and be able to leave the one I love the most.

My arms wrapped around myself, and my knee's went to my chest. " What was I thinking?" I whispered to myself. I should have thought it all out. But I didn't and went with my heart. There was nothing, that I could do to end this and I don't believe I want to, either.

As a tear swam down my cheek, I sniffed and looked at the dark in my lap -where my head rested. " I'm so stupid" I mumbled in the silence of my bedroom.

" Meow!" I heard from the end of my bed. I looked over with my cheeks covered in tears, to see Sode as she looked out the window. Her cheerful, meow was almost like she agreed to my stupidity. What a smart-ass.

" Seems like someone, isn't so chipper this morning" I teased. She looked over at me, with her purple orbs wide and round, like I didn't know what I was talking about. Usually, she was happy in the morning and not agreeing on my stupidity, in the morning.

I watched as she rubbed her body against the window, and purred with happiness for the touch of the cold. My eyes left the affection that she was having with the window, and looked out the glass to see the lightening and rain that poured from the sky. It was still raining.

I sighed and looked over to my night-stand, to see my I-phone, full charged and with a message on the screen, from someone I didn't expect to hear from:

_From: Renji _

_Hey there Ruk's, I wanted to know if you want to talk a bit today and catch-up. Since, we haven't talked in a long time... I kinda, have a few things to tell ya' about. Give me a call, when you wake up. Hope we can. _

It was true. I and Renji, haven't spoken in months since we were both busy as hell with work and responsibilities I have a lot on my mind, and talking to Renji would make it all better for me. He always knew, what to say and what to do when it came to my life. I needed Renji, to help me through this deli-ma with, Ichigo.

I was so, worked up and worried about were my heart would be by the end of everything that I didn't know, what to do with myself and the situation.

Without a second thought, I clicked the call button on my phone and pressed it to my ear, letting the ring echo my brain and thoughts. I wanted to talk to him, more than he probably wanted to talk to me at the moment.

**Ring. **

**Ring. **

**Rin-**

" Seems like someone, wants to meet up, eh, Ruks" the scratch voice, and smooth words of Renji, made me smile. Just the idea of the red-head, on the other side of the phone waiting for me, made me happy. Well, that was Renji for you. He knew, how to bring a smile to your lips when you didn't know, if you could smile. That's what, I loved about him and still do.

" Says the guy, who practically, waited for my phone call" he groaned and cursed softly. He alway thought he wasn't obvious, about his desperation but there always my comment about it. This was Renji, we are talking about. He used to wait for me, back when I was kid and my parents were still alive. I knew him all too, well.

" Oh shut-up. Ya' know, ya' love it when you know someone is waiting for you to do something. It makes you feel... powerful" he snickered. His point was valid there. Since, I was nine and had to bend to the rules of leukemia, I loved having people waiting for me, because they were bending to my rules. It was a change, for once.

" What-ever, Renji. So, where do you want to meet?" I asked. My eyes looked at the blankets that covered my legs, and my hand that was holding them tightly. I didn't know, why but I felt like telling him about my illness, today. I needed to tell, someone, and that someone was going to be my best-friend in the whole world.

" Ah, it seems like someone has a lot to spill" he teased. I narrowed my eyes at his comment. I did have a lot to spill, and one of them was going to be in the toilet in a minute. I felt like I was going to vomit, which wasn't new for me.

" Says the pineapple, who literally messaged me, that he needed to tell me a few things. Don't start acting like you're cool, because I have seen Tatsuki kick your ass _several _times" I heard him growl and groan at my comment. If I could count how many times, I saw Renji being beaten up by Tatsuki, there would be a higher number than infinity. Sadly, it seemed that every-time that when he was beaten by the women, that he enjoyed it more than I thought he would. Which was strange for, Renji.

I sighed as I heard him on the other line, scrambling around looking for something, probably, trying to get idea's for a place for us to meet. And knowing him, his apartment was probably a huge mess. I looked to the ceiling, trying to find something to think about besides the ruckus on the other line. " You really need to clean, your apartment" I commented.

The sound of a folder being thrown to the ground, was sounded through the phone and a curse for the comment. " Well, unlike you, Ms. I-have-a-daily-schedule- and-can-fit-anything-in, I have to bend by the situation I am in since, Tatsuki won't fucking get a filing system at the gym", I rolled my eyes at his complaining and ignorant ways . Renji knows that I battled leukemia when I was nine. That was actually how we kinda became better friends.

When I was around three, my sister had burnt her hand pretty bad trying to bake a cake -that turned out terrible. My father was watching us, and my mother was at work at the time, so, he had to bring me with him while he brought, Hisana to the hospital for her burn. When we arrived at the ER, she was rushed into a doctor, leaving me and my father alone in the waiting room. While I was sitting there waiting -bored out of my mind-, I saw bright red hair walking through the elevator. Renji.

He was with his mother -who ended up dying when he was 13, in a car accident. His little brother, who later on, was in the same hospital as me for leukemia as well. Sadly, he didn't survive. At first, we weren't the best of friend since he thought girls were gross, and weird which made me cry.

" You know better than I, that I have to keep my life style like that... so, I can stay healthy", it was hard to say that. I once, was able to say it without a hesitation but now it was a reminder that no-matter what I do, I will have leukemia. It was depressing.

Renji took a deep breath and sighed sadly at my words. I knew he hated talking about it, and how I nearly died of leukemia. I hated it as well. " I know. Don't die on me, Ruks" he ordered with a stern voice.

I held my tongue for quite a while. I couldn't tell him, over the phone, that was cold-hearted even for a Kuchiki. " I-I can't promise you that, Ren", it was bittersweet and a little hint.

" Meet me, at Uarhara's coffee shop. Ya' know, where that is, right?" I snort at the place he choose. It was the only place in, Karakura where we had most memories. We used to go there after school -when, I was at school-, and for my birthday because it made me feel like I was normal, and not dying.

" Of course, idiot. How can I forget?" he snickered and laughed softly at my tone.

" Well, you do work with little demons for money", Renji loved kids, but he wouldn't work with them seeing as he thought making them, raising them, training them, loving them and everything else, was enough. I guess, he didn't really understand what it takes to be a parent. I honestly, hope I'm able to see him when he is a father, that would make my life complete. And let me laugh in my grave.

" They're better than, sweaty old men and women, who groan because they're out of shape. Honestly, if you weren't my best-friend, I would think your bi-sexual" I smiled as he laughed at me. In High-school, he was one of the biggest player I knew of. He would be switching girlfriends more often than underwear.

" Oh, hush! I'll see ya' there, short-stuff" I growled at the name. I went to yell an insult but, he hung-out on me. I guess, that what I get for having, Abrai Renji, as a best-friend. Man, I really need to make new friends, and find a new best-friend.

I crawled out of bed and placed my phone on the dresser, before beginning to put the bed in order.

When I thought of Renji, and his past. It was rather like mine. Both of his parents died when he was young, and his sibling past of cancer. His father died of an ammonia which was sad since Renji was left to support his father and brother, because his mother past months before from a car accident, just like my parents.

After his father died, he lived with his Aunt Jin, who was kinda like a crazy cat lady. She never married nor dated, and had about twelve cats.

After a month of living with her, his brother was admitted into sick-kids where I was for a long-period of time. He had luekemia, as well, but he only battled it for four months and seven days, until he was dead.

During those days, Renji was with his little brother with his Aunt I and he didn't really know each other, until his brother was placed in a room with me and he started to talk to me about how he remembered me. Small world... more like small-town.

I stood from making the bed, and felt a burning sensation in my throat. I covered my mouth and felt the acid at my lips. My vomiting was more frequent now. It was every morning, and night.

I rushed into the washroom and double over the toilet. The vomit poured out more and more, pre-minute until I felt like crap. I held my stomach and held my hair back with my other hand. I felt heat rush around my throat, and chest from the vomiting.

**FLUSH!**

Went the toilet. I coughed and sighed before wiping my mouth with some toilet-paper. I hated vomiting. It was painful, and made me feel like shit afterwards. My throat-ached and was scratchy. The usual.

I stood from the floor and turned on the shower, before walking to my bedroom and grabbing some clothing for the day. When I past Sode, she was playing with one of my socks from my over-flowing laundry hamper. I really needed to do that soon.

I was planning to do it, today but I got that text from Renji. My friends were more important than my laundry at the moment, since I didn't know when it was going to be the last time I saw them, or they saw me.

I sighed and grabbed some clothing from my dresser, along with my phone and brush. I really didn't feel like, coming back into the room after my shower. It was using up too much of my energy, that I needed for the rest of my day.

Once I was in the shower, I felt the warm water wash away my pain and sorrow, that I held in my heart and not out in the open. I wasn't someone in distress like many thought I might be. I ran my fingers through my short raven locks, when I felt something in my hand I looked over to see some hair -not much- but some, in my palm.

I looked away from the sight and dropped my hand to my side. After, years and years of treatments, I finally got my hair to grow back after five or less years and now, it was falling out again. What was the point of trying? It was all going to fall out, eventually now.

I pushed away the thoughts of my decreasing hair on my head, and continued to wash myself. My hands went over my thighs, were I noticed bruises were from the motorcycle ride, I went on yesterday.

The large purple marks that went up and down my pale skin, made me skin and sad. I was once not so fragile and brittle. My fingers flinched as I touched the bruises and then, softly rubbed the pieces of flesh. _" I guess, everything is bending to leukemia now. Wow. So, fast" _I thought. I shook my wet head and continued to wash my body.

I looked at my wrist that was still bruised from Karin, only to see the light purple marking on my skin. I know, it was never going to go away. Even now, I still had the bruise on my wrist and hand. I just wanted them to disappear, and do a magic act.

Once I was done in the shower, I turned off the tap and covered myself with a towel that hung at the side. I went to the mist covered mirror and wiped the steam away with my bruised hand, only to see my reflection. My once full cheeks were becoming hollow, my skin was whiter than paper, and my hair was dripping wet from my shower. I was starting to hate my reflection, more and more.

I quickly dried and dressed in a pair of black jeans; I slide on a blue sweater and my socks. I grabbed my brush and began to take the knots out of my hair. It didn't take me long to finish my hair, I just blow-dried it and then put on the rest of the female requirements.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed Sode's food, my eyes wandered to the clock that read 8:24. Knowing Renji, he was going to be there by 9, so I have time to truly kill.

I went to the table with a glass of water, and my pills. I didn't like taking pills everyday, it was a hassle. My fingers played with the orange bottle causing the water to shake, when I stopped I froze slightly at a thought that came to mind. How am I going to tell, Renji?

There were so many ways that I could tell him. I could do the whole casual way. During the meal, I could bring up some things at the hospital and then spill the beans about my leukemia. No, I can't do that. Renji, would see through it too easily. I need something that he wouldn't see through.

I could give him the "remember when" thing. Like start a conversation about when we met in the hospital, and how became best-friends at sick-kids. But, that would probably bring up the subject of his family, and I don't want him to be upset about his parents deaths and his brothers passing.

Oh Renji, why must you be the one person I can't hide things from, it would be easier than this. I could do what I do with everyone, and make an excuse, but with you I can't. Why? If I did, then I would feel horrible and dis-honest, because I didn't tell you. It's almost like, I would be lying to myself.

Even as a child, I couldn't lie to Renji. I tried once or twice, but I failed miserably and he found out in seconds. Byakuya would say: It's because, you two are so a like, and you can't lie to yourself, so don't try. Maybe, he was right about that. I and Renji, were the same but, yet again, I found myself just like Hisana when I was little, and I lied to her perfectly. Unless, she knew I was lying and played it like she didn't know.

I tipped the bottle in hand, and watched the two tablets fall into my palm quickly. Both seemed too familiar, for my liking. I swiftly popped them into my mouth, and gulped down my water, taking them down into my throat and sent them traveling through my body.

I stood from my seat and went to the kitchen quickly to put my cup in the sink. When I looked at the clock, I saw that it was just 8:30, so I have thirty minutes.

I took the time to do some laundry, that I would folder later when I can. With the hamper in hands, I looked down at the clothing that I wore this week. Each one, seemed to be holding a memory of Ichigo and what we did together. I groaned at the thought of the flirty man, and rolled my eyes. I need to get him out of my head.

I arrived in the laundry room in no-time, and began to organize the dry clothing into piles. Whites, dark's colors, dedicates When I came to the blouse, I wore yesterday with the soaked material, I froze and stared at it.

I sighed and blinked as a aroma touched my nose, the husky smell of Ichigo was in my nose. The smell must have gotten on my clothing, since I was holding him all day yesterday, and then the rain getting into the material added on to the smell of the man. I chuckled, when I thought of what would happen, if nii-sama found out about my shirt smelling like a man, when I was dying.

He would probably laugh, and then glare at me, like I was some child who should know better, but I didn't know better, and he knew that for himself.

When was I going to hear from my brother again? Soon? Later? In a month? When it's too late? Maybe, I should call him soon. He needed to know about the leukemia, but I didn't want him to do something out of line.

I closed the showers and huffed slightly, causing the stubborn lose piece of raven hair; that dangled behind my eyes to fly into the air. I shouldn't be thinking about my brother, just yet. I have things, that I needed to thinking about now. Like, Ichigo and my feelings towards him. And what I was going to tell, Renji in a half an hour.

I hated this. I truly do. Just to think, that I had to go and tell my best-friend that I was dying of an illness that killed his younger brother... it was heart-breaking. He would be heart-broken.

Then there was Ichigo, yes, he is annoying and a complete flirt, in my eyes, but there was something that he had, which made my heart flutter and ache for him. Was I falling in love with him? I can't. I made that rule, the first day he worked at the school. If he couldn't fall in love with me, then I can't fall in love with him.

Man. Only if, I knew that, that one rule was impossible for us to keep. Either that, or we just decided to break the rules, and do as we pleased. Just thinking, and remembering my story, make me wonder about: what would have happened if, I never met Ichigo. I wouldn't have, what I have today for sure. I would have never done any of my bucket list, wishes. And I most definitely, wouldn't be telling this story. By the end of all this, you will probably wish we never met or wish that, this never happened. But, it did.

" 8:45, I should go" I spoke. I quickly walked to the couch and grabbed my purse before heading out the door with my umbrella.

My eyes narrowed at the pouring rain in-front of me. It just brought back yesterday. I opened the umbrella and stepped into the rain.

As I walked down the sidewalk, I watched as people scurried towards a shelter and out of the rain. I really didn't mind, the rain, but today it was a pain in the ass for me. It seemed to bring down my mood, and my energy.

A crackle from the sky forced my eyes to look up, into the dark clouds as a bright flash of lightening was entering my view. The sight of the storm that was in the area, brought me back to when I was in the hospital with Byakuya by my side.

We would sit there together, looking out the window, watching the bolts of lightening and listening to the thunder rumble the sky. He would constantly tell me, that it was my family playing bowling in the sky, or banging on drums. The thought of my mother, father and sister in the sky bowling, made me laugh and smile. When, I thought of why they were banging on drums, he told me, it was to defeat my illness and give me strength and energy to win.

My lips cracked into a smile at the sight of another bolt of lightening. It brought back great memories of I and my brother, even some with my sister but, none with my parents. They weren't around long enough, I guess.

I broke my stare on the sky and continued to walk down the sidewalk, that was empty because of the weather. My black heels kicked the rain-water on the sidewalk around, and clicked in the silence that was rare with the thunder. " Rukia!" I heard. I froze at the voice and my eyes widened at the familiar tone.

I stepped back slight, and looked over to see a bush of hair, tanned skin and a cocky smile on the owners lips. " K-Kaien? What are you doing out, in this weather?" I asked him as he ran towards me with his umbrella in hand.

He stopped at my side, and shoved his hands into his jean pockets. " I should be asking you the same" his smile dropped when he looked over at me. Kaien, was probably going to start about how, I shouldn't be out so I could get better. Then, I would argue that I didn't want to get better, I wanted to die. " Uryuu, probably told you about the n-"

" Kaien, just stop" I exclaimed at him. He was taken back by, my out-burst and stepped back slightly, like he was waiting for me to hit him. " What do you and Uryuu, not understand. I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Fixed. I get that, you both care about me, but you must understand that, I am done with fighting and going to doctors about this", he was silent at my words and shook his head.

" We know that, but we still want you to try. We care, and don't want you to die" his voice was soft and timid I know, they wanted to help and wanted the best for me, but I didn't want to keep fighting this. " W-Where are you going anyways?", he was trying to change the subject on me, but I wasn't going to let it slide.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but they softened after a minute. " I'll consider it", he tensed at my words and smiled softly. " I'm going to go have lunch with, Renji. He text-ed me, that we should and I... want to tell him".

Kaien was silent about my choice, until his voice went harsh at the news " What? Rukia, are you serious! T-This is Renji, we are talking about, Ruk-" he wasn't thrilled about it. I know, that Renji could possible tell my brother or someone in my work, even Tatsuki.

" He is my best-friend", that was the whole point. Renji may be many things, but the one thing he was to me, was my best-friend. If telling him, was going to get the news out then, so be it. I trusted him more than, anybody in my circle of friends. I needed to trust him.

Our eyes battled in a heated match, but soon he gave up and waved me off " Do what you want. I can't control you" he began to walk away, but I followed him and snickered to myself.

" If you can't control me, then why do you constantly try?" I questioned, when we came to the corner were Urahara's diner was. " This is my stop. I'll see you, later".

" Uh... yeah. Tell Renji, I said: Hello", I nodded and went towards the diner, with it's runned out look outside. The windows, were tinted but you could see the eating area inside. I stopped when, I saw Renji sitting there, waiting for me as he looked around the diner.

My heart raced, as I kept walking towards the diner. My eyes never left the sight of him, as he sat looking around at the area and nervously thinking. Why was he nervous? Something, must be up. With the new curiosity in my mind, I walked into the diner quickly. " Hey" I smiled at him, when he stood I noticed that he was dressed nicely for some reason.

My eyes looked down his white shirt with buttons, and fancy business pants. The attire that he had on, was enough to take away from the tattoo's on his forehead, and his loud hair. I'm guessing, he was at a meeting and needed to look nice, since Tatsuki would kick his ass, if he went to the meeting looking like a bum and not a professional.

I pointed to his outfit and raised a brow in question, "Tatsuki and a meet?". He nodded and chuckled softly before I sat down, and looked around the diner. The walls were a dark red, with a with trim on the top. There weren't many people there, but there was enough business to keep it running. The tables were wooden and held a yellow flower in a vase.

When it came to the diner, it seemed like it was a fancy restaurant based on the looks, but then when you got the menu, there was nothing but diner food. I thought, it was because the owner was a cheap guy, and didn't want to spend the money on making expensive foods. I didn't really mind, it was a different place.

I smiled when I saw a women, with long purple hair walk out with plates. Her dark skin shimmered in the lighting, the yellow in her orbs spark with happiness as she walked towards an old couple and gave them their meals. Yoruichi, was her name, and she had been here since she was 18. Now, she was around 38 and a mother of two high-school students. Her husband was the owner of the diner, and she was the only waitress they had. Until, their daughter needed a job and came to work here.

Yoruichi smiled at me as she walked over with her tight blouse, and skirt. " Ah, what a surprise! I haven't seen you in forever, Rukia-chan. What as brought you here?", I loved this place but I didn't come ever often, because I didn't want to eat fast-food or to much fatty foods, so I stayed away. I only came here, for their cakes, or other things that I preferred, like their home-made ice cream.

" Renji, actually dragged me here", her eyes went to the male sitting across from me and then a smile grew on her lips.

" Well, I shall go get you two the menu's, or would you rather just order now?". I found it sad, that I didn't need a menu for this place. I knew everything on it, and knew what was best. To make it seem like, I still remembered I shook my head for the menu's.

" I'll have a coffee, with your scrambled eggs and whole-wheat toast", she snickered at my order and scratched it down on her note-pad, in her hand. I looked over at Renji, already knowing what he was going to get. Sun-side eggs, bacon, cheese, toast, pancakes and a orange juice. It never changed. Back in the days, I would wonder how he was still thin and not big since he ate so, much.

" Sun-side eggs, bacon, cheese, toast, pancakes and orange juice, for me", right on the nose. I knew it, he would never change his favorite thing in this diner, especially when it came to breakfast.

" Alrighty, I'll be back with your drinks and then with your food", with that she left and went to the kitchen. When she came back in two minutes or more, she had our drinks and set them down, before heading to other customers and then to the kitchen.

" So, spill" I told Renji, who was silent and trying to avoid my curiosity.

He blushed deeply, and I gasped at the reaction. Maybe, he wanted to tell me that he was dating, Tatsuki. About time. " Tatsuki, gave me a promotion", he smiled at the news. That was about time too. He had been working at the gym for two-years now, and he deserved a promotion " I'm her partner, now".

" Wait, she actually, made you a partner? Of her gym?", he smiled and nodded at the questions. Tatsuki, was sweet indeed, but when it came to her gym. Let's just say, you don't want to think about it. Knowing, that she made him her partner, meant there was something bigger than that, and I wanted to know. " What did you do, to get her to do that?"

Renji narrowed his eyes at me. Was he trying to make it seem, like he _that_ good at his job. "Are you implying that, I am not good at what I do?".

I huffed and sat back in my chair with my arms folded over my chest. " Renji, get real. This is, Tatsuki we are talking about. That women, won't even let officials in her gym, without her permission, let alone, give you a promotion to be her partner".

" Alright, you got me there. Well, I-I... asked her out and then we kinda went on a date", he blushed deeper and bright then his hair. How cute.

" It's about time, Ren" I snapped.

" What do you mean by that?". Really, he had to ask that? Wasn't I straight-forward?

" It's exactly what it means. You and Tatsuki, have had feeling for one another for years, and everyone has been wondering when you two will, finally, get together. It's about time" he glared at me for my valid points. How hard was it for the two, to just say "I like you" and then kiss?

" You know my reasons, Ruks". He was afraid, that if he told he the way he felt, he would lose his job and couldn't get another one. Poor, Renji, he was male with no-balls to prove it.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save the sob-story for later, -no-balls", he didn't even bother to spit something back at me, because I had more valid points to back myself up on the subject.

" What-ever. Enough about me, what about you? What has the demon-covered, Kuchiki been so busy with lately?" he leaned forward and stared at my body, which made my heart race and skip-a-beat.

" Well, uh, Renji", I didn't know what to say. Would I bring up my illness first, or Ichigo. Both topic's were, huge and I couldn't just not tell him about both of them. " There's this guy", he tensed at my words. Renji, was worse than my brother. Grimmejow learned that the hard way, when he brought me on a date, and found Renji hiding in the bushes watching us the whole night.

" Really? What does he do? What does he look like? Is he nice? Does he treat you nicely? What about your brother, does he know? Where did you meet him? How did you meet him? Did you meet his family-", I groaned and stopped him before he got worse.

" Renji! I have only known him, really, for two-weeks. He's the Koursaki's son, and Tatsuki introduced me to him. You probably know him. Koursaki Ichigo", the fire that lite in his eyes, gave me the idea that he knew who I was talking about and remember what he did to me, back then.

" Him! Rukia, are you out of your fucking mind? He is bad news". Of course, he would say that since he was friends with, Ichigo when they were in High-school. To every friend you meet in the old days, they are bad news in your eyes. I found that true, except for the selective ones that I keep in touch with.

" Yes, him. He is actually, a really, really, nice guy... considering, what he did in High-school", Renji didn't buy it, not one bit of it. " He's a surgeon now, and he is working at the school with me since, Kaien made him a deal -which I am not explaining or telling you", I was hoping that would make him calm down, and it seemed to work.

" So, it was Kaien who got you two, rather cozy with one another" he mumbled. I shot a glare at him and rolled my eyes. He probably thought, I was hooking-up, with Ichigo. Man, was he off about that.

" Renji, I am not a whore" I told him as I leaned into my chair and looked out the window to my left.

" I know that, but, still he is pretty sketchy. Don't ya' think?", I shook my head and sighed slightly towards him. Ichigo was sketchy, but he wasn't that bad. He was rough around the edges and, that was something that I liked about him. He wasn't perfect, he was the opposite. He was imperfect.

" Ren, you are sketchy, yourself. Besides, I like sketchy... it makes life, a lot more interesting and worth living". I was shocked at my words, myself. Did I really just say that? Shit!

We were silent when Yoruichi came, and gave us our food. When she left, we went to eating and didn't speak a word. Maybe, I should have started with my leukemia being back. Perhaps, it would have prevented this silence and kept the conversation from heating into a comment-argument.

He stopped eating and looked at me, before placing his fork down. " Ruks", he spoke causing me to look at him and not at my meal. " If... If he makes you happy, I support you. I just want you to live your life, like you want to and to do all you can. It is a miracle, that I'm talking to you now and not a grave-"

" I'm not taking it far. I can't", his attention was on me as he locked his eyes with mine. I stood straight in my seat and looked around the diner, trying to avoid his glaze for what I was going to say, next. " I-I-I... I'm not even, going to b-bring into a relationship, Renji" my words were stuttered, as tears formed in my eyes. I bowed head as they rolled down my cheeks, when I looked up, I didn't meet his eyes. " I-I can't" I sniffed, and wiped my tears away but it was no use. New tears replaced the old ones. With a shaky hand I covered my mouth and looked out the window. "... R-Renji...if I do... it will, but nothing but a few months", when I looked at him he seemed puzzled and sad at my tears.

I took a deep breath and released it with a shaky rhythm I needed to say it, now. "... Renji" I whispered as I looked down at my lap. I never thought it would be this hard, to tell him. " W-What I am, about to tell is something that I never wanted to tell you, in a million years", I felt the silent pleads in his eyes as he looked at my tears. I held my breath and spoke "... I'm dyin-...my leukemia, i-is back" .

* * *

**Xsamxp- **Wow, you really like this story. Midnight and you're reading, thank you it means a lot! Keep Reviewing, I love it. I am, so, so, so happy you like the fact that Rukia is mesmerized by Ichigo's eyes, I think she would be, plus in the show it seems like she is. And I try my hardest for the characters to be themselves.

**EmpressMinea- **Ha-ha, sorry about that, it's just what I do! I agree, with the Sode being adorable, and Ichigo "possibly" losing the love of his life. Well, you don't know if he does. I'm glad you are staying to read the story, even thought the end by be "not" so happy.

**teshichan-** Seems like you are the only one who noticed the tiny things, like, my authors notes. Thank you for you concerns, its nice to see someone who cares. And I can't leave you all waiting for too long, and I had the story all edited and ready, it just needed to be posted, except for the concussion part ^U^. I hope you liked what he had to say. Their relationship is processes a lot but, that's a good thing. And I'll be checking the correct way to spell his, Zamapaktou. You are most likely right, there. Keep reviewing, I love them.

**Natsunoha-** Don't have a heart attack on me, then you'll miss the end of the story and see what happens. Thank you for the review!

Sorry for the day late guys, my weekend was busy and school is picking up a lot. Thank you, all for reading and reviewing, it make me feel really happy to see you guys like this story. Honestly, I didn't think it would be this successful, I was wrong.

Until next Monday! Have a great week!


	10. Chapter 10

_In the beginning of the storm. _

_When the rain pours, and the lightening flashes, _

_I think of the wondrous things that appear to be alive in the fright. _

_Monsters, murder, death... all the things we fear the most as we live. _

_For me, it wasn't the chance of someone killing more; nor the chance of a creature no one has never seen, taking my last breath. _

_It was the fear of being happy, and being with you that flashed in the lightening. _

_I know, it is something that I shouldn't be in fear for, _

_but the truth, will always be in the storm. _

_The storm that covers my heart..._

As the sun poured into the classroom, I bowed my head. My mind filled with the events of, my breakfast with Renji. After I had told him about my leukemia, he didn't say a word or comfort me in anyway. He just left, without a goodbye.

I think he was shocked at the news, or didn't want to believe it. Either way, he left me there to weep on my own, and to regret telling him.

My eyes narrowed at the spelling testes that were on my desk. My class was gone, and it left me alone in the classroom with Ichigo, who was cleaning the chalk-board for me. I knew he thought, that there was something wrong with me, because of the look he gave me all day. It was filled with worry, wonder, and sadness.

I sighed as I got to Astuko's test, only to see that he got all his words spelled right. With my Chappy the rabbit pen, I gave him a score and a check-mark. The large golden star stickers that were to my right, seemed to be placed on the paper after.

I noticed that all my students, got the words right. Which was a good thing on my end, because it meant that I was teaching them right, and wasn't slacking off. I wanted to just sleep, but I came to work and worked my ass off like there was nothing wrong with me.

I placed my pen down, and looked over at Ichigo as he wiped the board. I wanted to say so much to him, but then that would be an easy access to another puzzle piece of my life and personality.

I turned my head and looked out the window, to see the green leaves and the bright sun. It was a beautiful day outside, considering it was such a rainy weekend. I heard Ichigo sighed and placed the chalk-brush down, but I didn't look over at him when he was just standing there. " What's wrong, Rukia?" I heard. I looked over at him, to see the green shirt that stuck to his chest, and the washed-out blue jeans. His bright orange hair, seemed like feathers as he walked over to me and leaned forward on my desk.

With his face in mine, I blushed and glared at him with hatred. " Have you ever heard, of _personal space_" I growled causing him to step away from me. I wasn't in the mood for his flirtatious acts, and foolish ways. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep, I wasn't hungry so I didn't need to make dinner for myself.

He chuckled and swiftly moved to my side. Placing his large hands on the back of my chair, he spun me around to face him, I froze at the action and the closeness that we had. " Looks like someone, needs to un-whined from a bad weekend", he was right about one thing. I did have a rather bad weekend, besides the motorcycle ride he gave me, but besides that, it was shit and I need to forget about it.

" Perhaps, I did" I leaned into my chair, and he came closer to my face as I tried to create distance. Did he really want to be in my personal space, all the time?

Chills ran down my spine as a sneaky grin covered his lips, for some reason, I thought he had something up his sleeves and was going to do something devilish. " You're coming with me then", he told me. I gasped in surprise when he grabbed my hand, and pulled me from my seat at my desk.

" Ichigo, you idiot. What are you doing?" I hissed as he dragged me down the hallway. I didn't like being drag by my own-will. I liked being independent and strong, not some porcelain doll that everyone saw me as.

The young man looked over at me, through the corner of his eyes and smirked. " We're going to complete another wish, on your Bucket List, today", the tone of his voice made me question upon which wish he was talking about. If he was thinking, he was going to complete, number five tonight, he was going to be losing the only parts that made him a man.

" Why am I, frightened about you actions?" he frowned at my question. Ichigo would never be one, to have someone judge him by his actions, I learned that the hard way.

His frown disappeared and a scowl was placed on his perfect face. Why did he always want to look so angry, all the time? That was one thing, that I hated about him, from time-to-time. " Just wait, and see, will ya'", I sighed in defeat and allowed him to drag me to the entrance of the school.

It all went silent as we exited the school, and we were out in the sun-set that covered the sky. My orbs went to the last strangling clouds, that floated in the orange sky as the night came creeping up upon it.

" Can you let me go, Strawberry?", I didn't like being dragged. When Ichigo looked over at me, and then to the wrist he had a hold of, there was a certain spark in his amber orbs, that made my heart stutter and my thoughts to disappear. His eyes were so bright, in the light of the sun-set. They looked like tiny suns themselves.

He released my wrist, and waited for me to walk beside him. " What did you do on, Sunday? Since, you weren't with me", his attention was turned onto me and not to the sky that was above us.

I looked away from the mesmerizing sky, and looked over at him to see the small smile on his lips for my attention, which was now blessed upon him. " ... I went to breakfast with a friend of mine", I didn't want to tell him that I went to breakfast to see Renji, since he and the red-head didn't really get along according to Tatsuki and, well, everybody.

Ichigo shoved his hands into his jean pockets, and set his eyes on the sky above. I followed suit, because I rarely looked at the sky and it was ,probably, one of the things I was going to miss most when I die. " How'd that go for ya'?", his eyes never left the sky.

I snorted and shook my head at the question. " If it went well, do you think I would be the way I am today?", I heard him chuckle and sigh softly at the truth. If everything with Renji, went well and he didn't run-away, then I would be 'blue' or down.

" True enough" he said. I glanced over at him, to see that the scowl he had on his face earlier had disappeared, and was replaced by a relaxed expression. I liked it. The expression, gave him a whole different look to him... a look that I loved on him.

" You're not scowling, right now", I told him softly. He looked over me, with a questionable look on his face. " I like it", when he heard those three words, a blush covered his cheeks and he looked to the sky once again.

I rolled my eyes and looked down at the sidewalk. My petite shadow seemed like a giant to me, since I was taller than what I really was, in my shadow. Then, next to mine, was Ichigo's. It seemed to be relaxed, and calm compared to the true person. I preferred, Ichigo's relaxed shadow look then his usual, bad-ass look that made other drool -even me, sometimes. It was a different side to him, that he hid, and only allowed out when I was around.

" Hey, Rukia", the sound of his voice causing me to look over at the relaxed look in his amber orbs. I wanted to melt at the sight of his eyes, it was like mountain upon mountains of caramel, just the thought of the delicious treat made my stomach rumble and roar. Now, I was hungry?

In seconds my stomach, went dead and back to usual. " Yeah?", I was curious to what he would say to me. It seemed like today, we weren't getting on one another nerves or arguing, it was new to me.

Ichigo took a moment to speak, but when he did, I never thought I would hear him say what he did. " Why do you want me to figure you out? Do you even have, yourself figured out?"

I was silent at his question. Did I have myself, figured out? No, but I was getting there quickly and soon, I would know all about myself. " I-I guess, I never really had time to think about: who I am. My life has been, just a set of wild-cards that turned to evil, in my eyes. Now, that everything is going "down-hill". I've been doing what, I really wanted to do, a long time ago", he stopped walking and looked up and down my body slowly. " What?", I giggled.

Ichigo shook his head slightly, and bowed his head as he thought of what to say. " Where have you been, all my life, Midget?", I blinked at his question and shrugged.

" Easy, I've been the bottom-feeder for the longest time. You just never noticed me, or got to know me in the light that you are now".

Ichigo went silent as we walked down the sidewalk, I didn't know where we were going. But, I really didn't care at the moment, because I trusted that he wouldn't harm me in anyway. It seemed like something that he would never do, and I hope I was right. I glance over at Ichigo, only to have butterflies flutter in my stomach. I was really falling for him.

I shook my head at the realization of my feelings and what I was feeling for the surgeon. I closed my eyes as the tears pricked them softly, I didn't want to leave him or anyone, but I needed to get out that and move on. _" Rukia, you can't fall any deeper with this guy", _I told myself, but that was impossible.

I remembered telling myself that over and over again, when I first met Ichigo. Just saying that, through the years, didn't help me. It made me worse. I fall in love with him, over and over, just by thinking about, how I shouldn't fall in love with him. It seems like, when you know something isn't good for you, you do it anyways, for the hell of it. Even if, it is going to have a terrible out-come.

My story, doesn't have a terrible out-come in my mind, but in Ichigo's and everyone else, they might think about it differently. I didn't really care, if they thought it was something that was a mistake, because, that mistake gave me all this.

" Ichigo... have you ever done something that you, could never forget or give?", I asked him. I wanted to know, if he had anything in his life that he regretted. There was bound to be a few, at the age of 25, you had a tone of mistakes and wished you could fix them; but then you know that you can't go back in time, and erase them.

Our mistakes, is our building blocks of live. I have made tones of mistakes, but they all gave something... they gave me experience and hope for a new light.

I will never want to forget or forgive my mistakes, because they make me, me.

" No. I've done, a lot of bad things in my life, like bullying you. But, I would never want to take those mistakes back, because they made me stronger and become who I am today. I can apologize for my words towards you, but they will never disappear and be taken away" he looked over me with kind eyes, that made me hold my breath. The deep swirls of amber, gave me the chills. " If I didn't make my mistakes, then I wouldn't be here... or be with you, for the matter of fact. If making mistakes, got me here, somewhere in my life were I am happy and, trying to move forward with my life. Then, I will gladly accept them as my path to today", his words were wise and strong in my ears.

This is the few moments, I got the true Ichigo, peaking out and saying "hello, I'm here". Even in the this story, I really, got a lot of him out but, then there were the moment that I wished I didn't. Those moment, were soon to come, trust me when I say this, you will be rather memorized by the way we became to be.

" What if, I am a mistake in your life, Ichigo? What if, I bring you nothing but tears and sorrow? Maybe, I bring you dark days, and horrible storms. I can be, the devil, and kill you or your heart", I said quietly. I saw myself like that. I saw myself, as the devil, since my leukemia made ours lives, miserable and sad. Look at Renji, he couldn't be near me after I told him.

" Rukia, if you are a mistake...", my heart began to pound as he trailed out. Why was I nervous, for what he was going to say? Maybe, I wanted to hear him say that he want me more than anything. " Then, I never want to get rid of you. Since I met you, there has been a lot of questions that I hold for myself", I blinked at his words. I looked over at him to see that he was staring down at me, with caring eyes. Damn. He really was something, that held my heart. " If you're the devil, then I am a satanist, cause I would never want to get rid of. You are changing me for the better, and for the worst at time". I wanted to sad tears, but tears of happiness.

Ichigo made me, the happiest girl that day. He made me realize, that no matter what happens to be, that I will have mistakes, and if those mistake were were going to be my last then I mind-as-well, let them change me. He was and is my last mistake... and he changed me forever.

* * *

My eyes sparked in the darkness of the night. I looked over at Ichigo, who was to my right and noticed the smile on his lips. This was his plan, to make me feel better? To take me, to a bar in Karakura. " Ichigo, why are we here?"

He smirked and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. When I noticed, that it was my Bucket List, my eyes widen at the sight. He had it, with him. " I pacifically, remember the number one being: Get wasted", I blushed at his words and mentally cursed myself for putting that on the list.

" I forgot, about that one" I whispered to myself, but he heard and grabbed my hand in his. My blush that was upon my pale cheeks, brightened and burned my skin at the gesture. " Ichigo?", for some reason, I couldn't get enough of his name. I loved to say it, and to hear it, but there was a evil part of it that I didn't enjoy.

That part, was soon to come, in my life. And I will never say, that again.

He leaned down, make his nose brush against mine and the blush to creep onto my neck. " Don't worry about it, short-cake. I'm going to be here for you, till the end of this list", he whispered. I narrowed my eyes at him for the name " short-cake", really, of all times he said it now.

" You're such a dick!" I exclaimed. Ichigo rolled his eyes, as I tore my hand from his and marched into the bar.

When I entered, I left my liver screaming for me not to do this, but I ignored. The sight of the smoke covered air, musky and dim-lights gave me a side of nervousness for the bar. I looked to the right to see, a pool-table were men and women played. Most of them were men, with women who were trying to be seductive at the moment, with their pool-sticks and short skirt.

Looking to the right, there were wooden tables with men sitting down talk about their long day of work. Some where, arm wrestling for fun, but I didn't really pay any mind to them.

A large hand was placed on my shoulder, and a person leaned to my ear. " Midget, the bar in straight ahead", was whispered. I turned my head, only to have my lips close to Ichigo's as he looked at me with a grin.

" Oi, Ichigo!", I gasped at the loud shout and looked over to see someone with long blue hair. It can't be! As the person walked forward, and I nearly died at the sight of, Grimmejow.

" Sup, Grim?" Ichigo chuckled as he looked at the tall and slightly tanned man, with his large muscles and tight abs. I looked at his narrow face, with his wondrous eyes that made me melt -a long time ago.

Ichigo felt me tense at the sight of, Grimmejow and wrapped an arm around my shoulder trying to get me to relax, which worked but it didn't erase the fact, my ex-boyfriend, was standing right in front of me. " Just here, doing the usually", I heard Grimmejow say with his husky voice that brought memories to my mind. When he looked down at me, he was shocked "Now, now. What is the Kuchiki-princess, doing in a bar? I thought, big bad _nii-sama_, doesn't approve, let alone you being with, Ichigo", the hatred in his voice made me rolled my eyes.

I and Grimmejow, didn't have a great break-up. Actually, he was the one who was dumped, I believe. The only reason why, was because he constantly insulted my hero and my only family... Byakuya. It killed me, every-time he would say "He's got a stick shoved so far, up his pansy ass" that I couldn't take it anymore and the fact he cheated on me. So, I dumped him, on the day my brother decided to come home to visit me.

Maybe it was my fault for Grimmejow's hate, for my brother. I never did tell him, that my brother was my hero and that he did great things for people. But, yet again, when we first met he was cursing my brother. I should have known that, the relationship wouldn't work-out.

Ichigo gave me a puzzled look before he looked at Grimmejow, who was staring at me with daggers. " Actually, we're here, for a special occasion", I looked over at Ichigo for his words. What was he talking about?

" What did, Byakuya die?", I glared at Grimmejow and slapped him with all the force that was in my hand.

" Listen here, you blue-haired dick head! My brother, didn't do shit to you, and honestly, you don't even know him. Why don't you go to that whore you were cheating on me with, about a mile away!", I wanted to smash a table over his head, but Ichigo held me in my spot.

Grimmejow smirked as he looked at me, and then looked to Ichigo. " Good luck, with my sloppy seconds. She doesn't even know how, to ride", I gasped at his words and felt the fire in my eyes begin to burn in anger.

" You didn't say that, well you were being fucked out of your mind, about two or more years ago", I snapped. Ichigo froze at my words, and looked at me with a daze in his eyes. Yes, I and Grimmejow, had sex a few times.

" Please, if you were that good, then I would have not cheated", I felt Ichigo's arms snake around my waist and pull me closer to his wonderful chest. He had enough.

" Come on, Midget. Let's go get you a drink, and leave Grimmejow alone", his hissed as he pulled me to the bar. I looked at his expression, with the anger in his eyes and the hate in his appearance. Was he jealous?

" Strawberry-kun, are you alright?", he growled at the name but it was only fair, since he commented on my height. I sat down next to him on a bar stole and, placed a hand on his strong bicep, making my fingers tingle at the touch.

He snapped a glance towards and then to the bar-tender who was drooling over him at the moment. I glared at the women. I didn't like the way she was looking at Ichigo-... Wait, was I jealous? Shit! " Two shots of vodka, on the rocks", he told the women who literally ran for his order. How sick.

I was too busy, glaring my hate for the bartender, and I didn't noticed the long look that Ichigo was giving me as I did so. " I just didn't like, the way he was talk to you", I heard his sigh to himself. I snapped out of my glare and looked over at him, with softened eyes. He cared, for the way I was spoke to. " I know that there is a huge story, behind his tone and actions towards you, but I don't really care. You're a women -a quite beautiful women- who deserves respect. Besides, I know your brother and he doesn't deserve such vile curse towards him. He is like an angel to people, who need help with their dreams". I smiled at his words and felt my heart-beat race as I looked at him in a daze.

The way he spoke about my brother, was something that I will never forget. Ichigo, seemed to be praising my brother, for being a good man who helped others. It was something that, I did myself. " Thank you, Ichigo", I whispered to him.

He went silent at my words, and took my hand in his. It was nice to see, his soft side. It made him look normal and not some person you would see in a manga. " Two shots", a cheer voice told us. The bartender placed the two small glasses down on the counter and went to other customers at the end of the bar.

I and Ichigo gripped a shot each in our hand, and took in a deep breath. " This is my first shot", I whispered in a chuckle. It seemed so fast, first is was the motorcycle ride and now my first shot of vodka. Ichigo was making me do things that I dreamed of, and wrote down. Before I knew him, I thought that my Bucket List was nothing but a fantasy and a dream, but now, it was real. Thanks to him.

He raised his shot into the air towards me, with a smile on his lips. " To mistakes, and your first", he said before downing the shot. I watched at the liquor disappeared from his shot glass, when he slapped it down and chuckled softly, I shook my head with a bright smile on my lips. I was having fun, more fun then I have had in a long time. " Your turn, Hamster", he snickered as he looked at my full shot glass.

I took in a deep breath. _" To leukemia and to you, Ichigo"_, I thought to myself before downing the vodka.

My face twisted as I placed the shot glass down, and felt the vodka trickle down my throat into my stomach. It was bitter, and disgusting. " That was terrible, Strawberry", I coughed from the taste. I heard Ichigo laughing at me, with a hand he rubbed my back and told me to take deep breathes. " What the fuck, made you decide upon that disgusting shit?"

Ichigo shook his head and lifted my chin up with his thumb. " I wanted to see, if you could handle the hard stuff, first. Before, we continue on the long line of bottles", it made sense to me. I might as well, get the hard stuff done so it won't take long for me to get wasted. Then, it was the chance to experiment with new liquor. " Come on, lets get some Jack up in here", he smiled. I swear he was having a great time, watching me cough at the horrible taste of vodka.

Never again, would I touch a bottle of vodka. Never, ever.

I raised my hand slightly at the bartender, causing her to come to the both of us. " Four shots of Jack", I ordered. Ichigo looked at me with a surprised look " I needed to get this taste out of my mouth", I told him. Nothing was worse than the taste, of vodka that drenched my mouth.

"Alright, Mouse", he teased. When the shots arrived, I didn't think twice and downed both in seconds. Ichigo was shocked by my actions, and clapped loudly at my decision. " That's a girls", he chuckled. It seemed like my decision, gave me respect.

" Okay, that was _way_, better than the vodka", I smiled as I placed the shots on the counter.

Ichigo shook his head as he chuckled, before downing his two shots. " How about this? A shot for a question. The first to get shit-faced, is the loser and has to get a life story out of the other", I laughed at his words. I could see what he was trying to do. Since, I have never really drank before, I was most likely going to lose. It was basically, an easier way to get my story from him.

" No way", I giggled. I wasn't going to give him the easy way out, of my puzzle.

Ichigo smirked " What? Are you a little chicken shit", I gasped at his words and narrowed my eyes at him before kicking his leg quickly.

"No, I just don't want to give you the easy road", he chuckled at my words and called the bartender over once again. " Keep it coming with the shots, anything works", the women nodded and started to line-up the glasses. " Are you saying, that you will lose anyways?"

" Exactly, I know that I will lose, because I have never truly drank before", it was common sense. I was going to be the one, to spill the beans. Not Ichigo, me. It was fact.

He handed me a shot of Jack, and took one in his hand. " Live a little, and stop being a stick in the mud, like the other Kuchiki's", a vein popped in my head as his words. I hated being thought of as, another Kuchiki. I was far from them, even my brother said that I wasn't like them, that I was different and more normal then them. So, Ichigo saying that was an insult.

I grabbed a shot glass and glared at him with anger. " Get ready, to eat the dust in the air, Koursaki Strawberry. I'm winning", I growled as I drowned the liquor.

* * *

The world was spinning, literally spinning. After, what seemed like three hours of shots, I was ready to vomit and pass-out. I couldn't even think straight, but all I knew was that Ichigo had lost the challenge, thankfully.

" I...won", I hiccuped to the surgeon as he spun around on his stole. I found myself laughing at his actions, with a hand I grabbed his arm and stopped him. " Ichi, tell me... your story", my tongue was slurred as he looked at me with his dazed eyes.

Ichigo hiccuped as he looked over at Grimmejow who was staring at us, for some reason. Maybe, it was because he has never seen me drunk before. " T-That blue kitty, is looking at us", he slurred. When he grabbed me into his arms, I giggled and blushed deeply at the embrace "He isn't eating my mouse", he stated.

Instead of yelling or hitting him over the head, I laughed at his comment and wrapped my arms around the drunk surgeon. " Ichi-go", I hiccuped as he held me tightly in his arms. " Tell me, about your life", I insisted.

Ichigo chuckled and placed me on his laps as he sniffed me hair. Being drunk, isn't something either of us are, good with. " When, I was a around five or six. My mom, brought me to a school for me to fight, that's where I met, Tatsuki. One day, when she was bringing me home from the dojo, we ran into a gang of trouble-makers who were looking for some fun", the slur in his voice was strong, but when he got the gang he went serious. " The pushed me aside, breaking my arm. They took my mother into the alley-way and started to rape her. When they were done with her, they just left her there with me and ran off, like it never happened", it was hard to hear that Masaki was raped. She was so nice and kind, that I would've never known about it. I guess, that was what she wanted. She wanted to keep it a secret.

" Ichigo, you don't have to continue", I told him as I noted the tears that were forming in his eyes. It break my intoxicated heart. I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled into his chest for comfort. " Don't cry", i whispered to him.

He ran his fingers through my hair, and held me close to him. I didn't want him to be alone or feel like I wasn't there for him, because I wanted to be there for him, for everything, till the end. " Sometimes, I fear that they will come back and take the one person, I truly care for, even if, I don't know it yet", he sniffed.

I looked up to see the tears in his eyes. I wiped the tears that danced down his cheeks away and stood in between his legs to do so. I cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead softly " Sometimes, our biggest fear is the one that will bring you closer to the things you want the most, but don't know it yet", I told him.

Ichigo looked into my soft eyes, and leaned forward slightly. " What are afraid of, right now?" he whispered near my lips.

I held my toxic filled breath and searched his amber eyes as they twinkled down at me with care. My fingers intertwined in his hair as, I was pressed against him still. " You", I whispered. I was afraid, to fall in love with Ichigo. To love him, and then leave him like he was nothing. I was afraid to try and love him, and to kiss him. " I want to get over that fear, but I don't want to hurt you or feel guilty by the end of it, all", I whispered.

His hand cupped my cheek and brought me closer to him. My lips brushed against his softly " Never think about, what may happen, just do", he whispered. I bit my bottom lip, and stepped away from him.

" Can you take me home, Ichi?" I hiccuped. The slightly blush that was on his cheeks brightened as he grabbed my hand, and lead me to the door.

" Yeah", he told me. As we walked side-by-side, we were silent.

When I nearly fall over from my head spinning, I felt Ichigo grab me and hold me up right. " Oops", I chuckled as I held onto him. He laughed and wrapped an arm around me as we continued our journey. I looked at the stars and laughed loudly. " There's tiny dots in the sky", I chuckled.

" They're called, uh, s-stars", he slurred. I noticed my apartment complex across the road, and went to run but Ichigo kept me in place. " N-No" he spoke as he pulled me closer to him. I was starting to think he wasn't that drunk, since he could control himself and make sense. I didn't even here a single hiccup out of his lips, anymore.

I moaned softly as I wrapped my arms around his waist, and following his steps. " I wanna go home", I whined as my liver throbbed in my stomach. I knew it was only going to be worse in the morning, and that I was going to regret ever drinking. " Why did you make me, do that?" I hiccuped. The heat in my cheeks began to heat up once again, and my sight became blurry.

Ichigo released me from his hold and began to watch me with a close eyes. When I stumbled from side to side, he grabbed my shoulders and kept me still. " Rukia?" he questioned. Just by the look of me, he knew that I was drunk and didn't have a clue about what was going on.

" I wanna go see, Chappy", I slurred. My body leaned against his hold and started to go limp, with a yawn I closed my eyes and sighed " I can love, but I don't want to die and leave the one, I love behind like Nee-san", I whispered. Ichigo narrowed his eyes at me, and shook his head. " Ichi?" my voice was stumbled and weak as I called for him.

"Mmmhmm", he hummed as he grabbed me into his arms. He walked down the sidewalk with me in his arms, bringing my drunk-ass back to my apartment.

" I'm sorry", I sniffed. Ichigo froze at my words and looked at me with wonder for what, I was apologizing for. " I don't want to push you away, but I don't want to you love, because I can't hurt you like, Hisana when she died. There is enough people who will weep for me, and I don't want another to shed a tear-", in my drunken state I found myself seeing the truth of tonight. I was falling for him, and I wasn't going to stop. But there was this other side to everything, I didn't want to be my sister and I didn't want Ichigo to turn into my brother. Wondering the planet for the cure, and t hoping to save someone life, when there was probably no way to.

Ichigo reached my apartment in the short silence we had, and placed me down at my door. I fumbled with the keys that, were in my jean pocket and unlocked the door. " Goodnight, Ichigo", I hiccuped. I went to close the door but he stopped it, with his hand.

" When you said that you were afraid of me, I started to wonder why you trust me...", his voice sounded hurt at the moment. " Then, you went on tonight about how, you don't want to be your sisters shadow", I looked directly at him and sighed. That was probably the main thing about me, I never wanted to be someones shadow. Not my families, nor my friends. I wanted to be myself. " Rukia, you'll never be someone else. But you have to over-come your fears soon or later", when I heard his telling that I needed to face my fears, I found my feet moving towards him.

" I-I just don't want to hurt you", I told him. When I was right in front of him, he cupped my cheek softly and closed his eyes in disappointment. " I don't even know, why you try to get me, Ichigo. I'm a lost cause".

I felt his forehead against mine, I looked into his beautiful eyes and felt shivers go down my spine. The passionate swirls were beautiful in his eyes, and the intensity in them made my knee's buckle. He mouth watering. " Rukia, I try because... you are the most memorizing women I have ever met. You're the first to actually set me, straight and make me act differently... just being with you makes me different-", his words made my heart flutter and my blood race. I couldn't hear anymore, when my lips pressed against his and I felt the soft texture of his lips, I felt like I was floating.

He tasted better than, I imagined. He tasted like honey, so sweet and overwhelming that you can't get enough of it. Sugar, the dust like substance that many were addicted to, and can't live without. Spice, he made my lips burn with passion and let me with a thrill. He had lips of silk, that engulfed me like the ocean. Each moment of our lips, brought me deeper and deeper into passion.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, allowing my body to press against his, so I could get more of him. I never thought that kissing, one man would make like this. As my fingers tangled in his orange locks, I felt his velvet tongue against my lips causing me to snap out of my trance.

I pulled away with a pant, and looked into his eyes that were filled with lush and want. " I-I shouldn't have done that", I whispered before placing my arms to my side. My hand went to my lips. What was getting into me?

Ichigo looked upset that I was act like this, and stopped kissing him. I was rather upset, that I stopped as well. I wanted to keep going, and see how it felt to be with him. But, there was tiny voice in my head screaming, for me to stop and think about it all.

I looked up at him once again, and grabbed his hand in mine. He was shocked by my gesture. _" Just once... once, I want to have someone to hold and love. I don't want someone who, is going to cheat on me and then insult my family. I want him... I want Ichigo. Was that so much to ask?" _, I thought to myself. Maybe, it was the alcohol that was clouding my judgment and wasn't allowing me to think straight.

Our finger laced through each others, and I pulled inside the apartment. The door closed quietly as, I pulled him down to me once more. " Just once", I whispered as our lips met and pulled me into the passion filled waves, that clouded my mind.

As the kiss deepened, our tongues went into a war of dominate and con-core. My skin tingled and sparked, as his hands gripped my side and kept me close. I felt a moan leave my throat as he won the battle of passion, that was ended and left me in defeat. My arms that were at his neck once again, came down his sides and gripped the rim of his shirt that was hiding his body, from my orbs.

_"WAIT!" _, I heard my mind scream. I didn't tense in the kiss but continued, and released his shirt. _" You're dying, Rukia. You can't just get into a relationship, and then die on the person you love... it's not right. Don't you remember the constant cries of Byakuya when, Hisana died. Do you want, Ichigo to be like that?" _, I pulled away from his lips and stepped away. " I should have never done that", I told him. I looked up at his red lips and closed my eyes " Ichigo, can you please leave. I-I-I can't continue this", I told him. I knew it was probably going to break his heart, but had to be done. I didn't want to have him suffer more than, I am.

" Goodnight, Midget", he said in a sad tone.

" Goodnight, Strawberry", I said before he walked out of the apartment. I felt tears in my eyes when I heard, his foot steps going down the stairs and into the parking lot.

How could I do that? I just broke his heart, and didn't even think about the out-come. " I'm sorry, Ichigo", I whispered as tears drained from my eyes and covered my skin.

In the mist of all my tears, I felt the heat of the alcohol raise in my throat causing me to dash to the washroom, and to pray to the porcelain. The vomit burned and my head pounded as it poured out. This was what the results of drinking got me.

* * *

**Xsamxp- **Sorry for making you wait, and for Renji. There wasn't really a reaction to his knowing, since he didn't know what to do. In this chapter, Rukia and Ichigo, actually got a lot of puzzle pieces. Good-luck to you as well, in school! And its nice to hear about your school schedule, but school is more important. Thank you, for the review! I can't wait to hear from you again! Please, review again!

**EmpressMinea-** Awe, really that means a lot to me, that you ,hopefully. It takes a long time for me to write the poems, plus they kinda set the mood for the chapter. For the sudden change from IchiRuki to RenRuki, was so everyone could see what happened with Ichigo and that Rukia is also, started to accept the fact that she is dying. Also, it was to give you guys a taste of what, it is like for her to tell people about her leukemia. So, when she does tell Ichigo, you all know how she feels when she tells him. Please Review again! And thank you for reviewing!

**zitag- **Thank you for the review, it was a breath of fresh air! I'm glad you are going to keep reading, even if the ending is going to be not so "happy", but who knows, now a days there are cures for leukemia. Hopefully, this chapter was good for you and for my inspiration! It's kinda, solid since I haven't had a writers block session yet. Hope to read another review from you again! And can't wait to read it, as well!

Tell me, what you all thought of the chapter! It took a long time to write, but is seemed to go well. How did you all find the kiss? What do you think will come next in Ichigo and Rukia quest to complete her Bucket List?

Until next Monday, hope you all have a great week!


	11. Chapter 11

_Like a drum. _

_The beat of the bass, is in the air as the sun comes to it's horizion, _

_like a drum,my heart is pounding for the news I have recieved... _

_The news of losing you, my love. _

_When I look at it now, there are many things in our lives that are like a drum... _

_Our hearts, that pounds in passion or in fear, _

_our minds, which feed us the impulse of the emotion we call love, _

_the speed of our feet, when running to each other. _

_But mostly, the tears that drum down our cheeks when we look at the one we love. In their grave, never to awaken. _

_I wish to never, feel this solo of pounding noise, that is so finely compared to a drum... _

My head was pounding as I walked into the school, this morning. I could barely, keep my eyes open; let alone holding back my vomit.

Honestly, if there was one thing that I regretted about last night... it wasn't the drinking. Was that sad? I didn't mind the split headache that, made me wish I was already dead. When I thought of last night, all I could do was think about, Ichigo. How his lips felt on mine, the way he kissed me with such passion, and then the heart-broken look that was plastered on his perfect face, when I told him to leave.

If there was one word that described the way, I saw myself today; it would be... monster. The pure image of Ichigo's face, was stuck in my mind and flashed when-ever I blinked, or was in the darkness. I didn't know, how I made someone feel like that and why I did it.

" Well, well! Good-morning, Rukia", the cheer voice made me wince, for the headache that cursed my brain. I was in pain, from the alcohol. I looked over to see Rangiku, with her bright smile and strawberry-blonde locks. She looked extremely happy, this morning. Strange, since it was Tuesday and she hated them, with a passion.

" Why are you so... happy?", I groaned. With a hand, I grabbed the coffee that I bought on the way to work. I needed something to get me, through the day, and food, advil and silence wasn't going to help me.

She smirked and looked at my wrist with her blue orbs. " Rukia, what happened?", her voice was soft and filled with concern. I looked at my wrist to see, the bruise from Karin that was made almost three weeks or less, ago. I wish, it would leave.

I quickly pulled my blue sweater down over the bruise, before fixing my tight white blouse. Looking at her with a bright smile, I tried to convince her that there was nothing wrong, and that it was nothing. " Wipe that smile off your face, and spill", she growled.

I groaned at the fact that, my mask failed and she saw past it. I placed a hand on my face, and sighed deeply. " Ran, I'm not telling you", I told her but she didn't seem to like it. I didn't have time to stop her, when she grabbed my wrist and pulled my sweater up my arm; only to have the bruise in plain sight.

I bowed my head in shame, as she examined it with her orbs. When I felt her hand loosen its grip, I looked up to see the tears in her eyes. " Is it back?", she asked. Rangiku only knew about my history with leukemia, because she and Nemu needed to know all about me, before I got the job; for the children well-being. If I didn't tell them, about my history with the cancer, then they would have found out when they looked into my medical records.

I pulled my wrist away and covered the bruise. I didn't like them out in the open, because they were a sign of leukemia and I wanted to keep those signs in the dark. " Ran, I just had a rough night with someone", I told her. Her eyes sparked with happiness and she began to laugh at me. What was so, funny?

When she stopped her laughing, her face was red and her breathes were in gasps. " So, your telling me that, some man, fucked you roughly and with your hands over your head", I narrowed my eyes are her and sighed. It was the only way out of her, thinking I have leukemia.

I stood from my chair, and looked over to the hallway. When I saw orange, I held my breath even thought Rangiku was laughing again. The orange got closer, and opened the classroom doors.

The sight of Ichigo, covered my eyes. A blush covered my cheeks as I looked at him, with his grey wife-beater under, a skin tight white dress shirt that was buttoned up slightly. _" Oh Ichigo... I'm so sorry. What have I done?", _I thought as a frown covered his lips. He walked away with a sad and gloomy vibe to him, making me feel worse and worse for my words last night.

" Oh, Koursaki-kun! Did you hear? Rukia, had a rough night with some guy! He even left a bruise on her", I yelped when she grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward; causing me to hit my desk and bend over.

I gasped at the pain that shot through my stomach and to my mind. I looked down at my stomach, knowing that area was going to bruised. " A guy? That can't be, I was over at her place last-night", I felt Ichigo's long and stronger fingers wrap around my wrist. I looked up to meet his amber eyes staring into mine.

We held our stares with passion as we searched each others eyes. I found that he was filled with sorrow. The light red ring around his amber suns, gave me the feeling that he cried last night, the light bags under his eyes might he had barely gotten any sleep last night. It was all because of me.

Rangiku looked between the both of us, and smiled widely. " Well then, Koursaki-kun. You are one hell of a man", we both tensed at her words, and looked over at her with question. " Little Rukia here, doesn't let any man touch her, unless they're special", it was true. Not even Grimmejow could touch me, before our first year anniversary. " You my bright-headed friend, are very special, if she is letting you touch her. Even like this", we both pulled our hands away from each other and turned away.

It was embarrassing to have, Rangiku there talking about: how special, Ichigo must be. I quickly walked out of the classroom and called out to the two, in my classroom " I'll be outside, if you're looking for me. I need to greet the students", I needed to escape and the only way I was going to get that, was to greet the students; which I enjoyed for most the part of it.

Walking down the hallway, I looked at the walls that were covered with pictures the students made for class. The bright colors and happy scenery, seemed to make my heart flutter at the sight. I was going to miss, them all when I was gone. Sure, I will be looked down at them, but, that didn't mean, that I wasn't going to miss them.

I passed the cubbie area's and chuckled at the thought of all the students rushing to get all their things off, so they could get to class quickly. Only if, that stayed still High-School and didn't disappear once they entered the fourth or fifth grade. Just to think, some-day, all these tiny students will be adults and probably won't remember me.

I frowned and exited the building. The sun hit me with a bright ray, causing me to cover my eyes with my fore-arm. " It's going to be a beautiful day, sensi!", I heard the bright voice and smiled at the known of the owner.

" It sure is, Umi", I smiled at her brightly and opened the gates. The tiny girl bounced around, with her long locks in pink-tails. " You are early today, Umi. What's so special about today?", I asked her with a bright tone.

Umi looked over at her father as he stood at the gates, and then to the school. " Mama's having another baby, Kuchiki-sensi! I'll have a little brother or sister soon, and they better be nice or else", I chuckled at her happiness. It was cute.

I looked over at Uryuu and sighed happily " Orhime, finally told you", I chuckled. He scoffed and rolled his eyes at my words. He hated it, when I knew things that he didn't know.

" I caught on, a long time ago. I was just waiting for her to tell me", with his nose in the air, I rolled my eyes. The usually Uryuu, always thinking he knew what was next or what was going on. But in all truth, he didn't have a damn clue.

I smirked and looked over at Umi, as she ran into the school and started to put her things away. " Sure, you did, Uryuu. Just like, how you knew that you were going to have, Umi", he narrowed his eyes at me and grunted. I knew about Umi, long before he did. Orhime found out the day of her wedding, when she was getting her dress on. It was too tight, she felt sick, her feet were swollen and wanted weird things, like, peanut-butter and squid.

Uryuu was silent for a moment, and looked up at the sky. I rarely saw him relaxed, sometimes, I would tell Orhime that she married a robot because of it. " How are you feeling?", he asked.

I took in a deep breath and smiled " I've been better", I told him. " I'm kinda getting through a hang-over, right now", I said nervously. As a doctor, he looked over at me with a glare. I had that one, coming to me.

" You... got drunk? When you have leukemia. Are you crazy? Do you know how dangerous, that is?", he hissed. I rolled my eyes and waved to the students that were headed our way. I knew how dangerous, it was for me to be drinking when, I have leukemia. There were high chances, that my liver could fail and I would need my stomach pumped, along with a new liver. I could start coughing up blood and what-not. I knew, but I didn't care.

" Uryuu, I know, what could have happened", I told him with smile. I opened the gates for the little ones, and greeted them a "Good-Morning", before speaking to him again. " Even if I got those things last-night, I was with someone who could have helped me and is in the medical field", he raised a brow at my words.

" Arisawa-san and Abrai-kun, aren't considered in the medical field", he snorted. Leave it to Uryuu, to bring down someones status when it comes to the medical field.

" I wasn't with Tatsuki nor Renji, you baka", I growled through my teeth as I greeted the students.

" Oh, really? Who were you with?", he asked with interest. I could see what was so interesting with me, going out with someone new. I barely socialized, even before I found out I have leukemia.

" A surgeon", I told him. Uryuu turned towards me and blinked at my words, he didn't even know how I knew someone so, high in the field. " Koursaki Ichigo, Uryuu. He took me to a bar, in town and we did shots-"

" He's a bloody surgeon, and he is letting you drink with leukemia!" he exclaimed, thankfully, no one heard him and all was usual.

I grabbed his collar and glared at him with a fire in my eyes. " Uryuu, you four-eyed, idiot. He doesn't know, nobody does. Besides, you, Kaien, me and Renji", I released him roughly and huffed; causing my lazy strained of hair in the middle of my face to fly into the air.

He blinked at me when he heard the "Renji". He was probably wondering how he knew since he didn't tell him, yet did he know it was me who did. " I told Renji, Sunday", just thinking about Renji made me gloom, because he is my best-friend, he was supposed to be there for me. Not run-away.

" When are you going to tell your brother, about it?", I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know, if I wanted to tell him at all. He would very find out, until he heard that I was dead and buried. But, knowing Byakuya, he would blame himself, by thinking about how he should have been there for me, and known about my leukemia. So, keeping it from him was not going to be a good idea.

" I don't know. Maybe, when he comes home from America. I'm not going to tell him over the phone, that would make it worse for him", I told him. If I did tell Byakuya over the phone, he would speed home and most likely get into a car accident. Everyone didn't need another death.

Uryuu nodded and sighed softly " I wish you would take the treatment for it, Rukia", he told him. I went to tell him, that I didn't want to, but he stopped me. " I know, you don't want to because you've battled so long, and got tired of doctors and hospitals. But, I just wish you would try,so, you won't have to leave all this behind", his eyes went to the children as they ran and laughed together.

I looked at all of my students, with bright smiles and cheerful eyes. I didn't want to leave them behind, I never wanted to. When I caught the sight of Ichigo, in the window of the classroom looked out at the children, I couldn't look much longer. I was going to be leaving a lot behind. Even him.

" Kuchiki-sensi! Good Morning!", my eyes went to the gate to see Astuko and his father. Oh great, now I get two lectures at the same time.

" Good morning, Astuko", I smiled as I opened the gates. I looked over at Kaien as he stood next to Uryuu in silence. " How are you today?", I was trying to prevent the conversation the two would want to have with me.

A smile covered his lips as he looked up at me. " Great! Mom and Dad, said we're getting a puppy soon-"

" Atsuko, I and your mom, said maybe", Kaien interrupted. I chuckled at a staring contest began between the two, and a pout covered the "mini- Kaiens" lips.

" But, Dad. I want a puppy-" Astuko's whine was interrupted by his father once more. Looking at the boy, he seemed to be getting tired of being interrupted but kept his patience. He looked like his father, but he had the attitude of his mother, which was a good thing, for me.

" I never said, we aren't getting a puppy. I said, we might get one", Kaien told his son. He looked over at Uryuu, who was smirking at the scene that was playing in front of him. " Now, go play".

Astuko groaned and began to walk away. " Mom was right! You can be a, Kill-joy", he shouted at Kaien as he disappeared into the yard. I snorted back a laughter and looked over at Uryuu who was chuckling. Kaien didn't seem very impressed about his sons words.

" Miyako, thinks, I'm a kill-joy", Kaien gaped. I raised a brow at him, and shook my head. He cared more about the fact, his wife thinks he is a kill-joy, than the fact his son just called him such. Wow.

Uryuu slapped Kaien on the back, and chuckled slightly " It happens, Kaien", he told him. " Deal with that later, for now. We have a teacher, with a hang-over from drinking when she has leukemia", I groaned at Uryuu's words.

Kaien glared at me with hate and shook his head " You really want to push it, huh!", he exclaimed. I shot a glare at Uryuu, for telling him and then to Kaien, for thinking he could control me. I'm a grown women, I can get wasted if I wish to. They can't stop me. " What the hell, were you thinking? If the alcohol was too much, for your liver, do you know what could have happened? It's enough that I have to know, the fact you're dying of leukemia and won't get treatment. But, now, you're just wanting to try and die, quicker", he growled.

" Kaien, I'm a grown woman!", I snapped at him. I was beginning to think that he was judging my age by my height. It was insulting! " I can do, as I please!".

" Not when, it something stupid like, getting wasted when you're dying of leukemia!", he shouted. All went silent in the yard, I looked over at my students to see they were all looking at us. I glared at Kaien and then to Uryuu.

" You two, may leave. Now!", I growled.

Kaien growled at me, and then began to walk away with fire in his eyes. I didn't want to yell nor argue, but he made me do so. Uryuu stood there with something in his hands " Here", he told me. I took the object, only to see that it was a camera. " I know you won't change your mind, about not getting treatment. But, I thought why not take some pictures to remember things, when you're in the hospital waiting for your grave. Perhaps, one of the photo's will change your mind", I looked at the white camera and then to the doctor in front of me.

Uryuu was a great guy. He was kind and caring, under all that medical knowledge. What he did for me, that day, by giving me the camera... was something, I could never thank him enough for. Since, now, I really am grateful. Those pictures, that I took when I was 23, did cause me to do something that, I never thought I would do.

" Thank you, Uryuu", I said with a soft tone. He smiled and touched my shoulder softly.

" I'm here, for you, Rukia. Besides, I'm not going to push you... you are a grown woman after all. I just want you to see all, the wonderful things that will hopefully, spark something in you to do the treatment and be daring for a change", with that he walked away and headed to work.

As the rest of the students arrived, I looked at the camera Uryuu gave me. The white plastic shimmered in the sun as the silver sparkled. I turned on the camera, and touched the screen. When the sight of the pavement covered the screen, I smiled and raised the camera towards the students.

My finger the small silver button and the image was capture. I smiled at the sight of Astuko and Umi laughing, along with their peers who were smiling at them. In the distance, there was the high-school, with all the students out in the front waiting for the bell to ring, so they could go to class. The sky was blue and the clouds were floating in peace, while the sun shined and awakened everything it touched, even the hearts of others.

I locked the gates, and went to the students in the yard, to see what they were talking about. Once, I was at Astuko and Umi's side, the bell chirped and I lead them inside for class.

I walked into my classroom, to see Ichigo at the board with a piece of chalk in his hand. I smiled at the sight, he looked like a teacher to me. " Do you want to do class, today?", I asked him. He looked over at me and scowled, he probably didn't want to get caught in his teaching thoughts.

" No", he told me but I shook my head. I walked over to him, and grabbed a booklet from the side of chalk-board.

" Be happy -no scowling-, smile, encourage them, make them think you are their friend and listen to their idea's. The letter of the day is, X which should be easy for you, since your a surgeon. After the letter of the day, you have to hand back their spelling-tests, which I finished marking. Next, is their creative-paragraphs and wiriting lessons. That should get you to lunch", I told him. I placed the booklet in his large hand and yawned slightly. I was tired, and needed some sleep.

" Why should I do this for you?", the tone of his voice meant he was pissed. I wouldn't blame him, for it either. I broke his heart last night, and I was trying to get him to do something new, for me.

" You're really that mad.." I whispered loud enough for him to hear.

" Yeah, I am", he hissed. He glared at me with his amber orbs, which was new for me since he was usually happy, when around me. I stepped back from him, trying to create space between us " You kissed me last night, and then pulled the " can you please leave", shit on me. Are you serious? Rukia, I'm not just mad. I'm hurt-"

" Just stop, will you", I interrupted. I had enough guilt in me, from last night. " The truth is... I should have never kissed you, in the first place", he tensed at my words and shook his head at them.

He looked at the door and then to me. " You just like hurting me, don't you", he chuckled in pain. I stepped away and shook my head. "I'll teach the class, but not for you. For the students".

_" Ouch! That's how it felt, to be hurt like that",_ I told myself as I went to my desk. It hurt to hear Ichigo say that to me, and quite frankly, it scared me. It was a wake-up call that, I had to stop playing with his heart and make a choice.

Do I love and go for it? Or never try and die, alone?

As the class came into the classroom, I heard Ichigo begin. He told them, that he was going to be their teacher today, since I wasn't feeling well and needed to rest for the day. My students looked back at me, and frowned with sadness. Only if they knew, I was really sick and that my days were limited.

He went to the letter of the day, and it seemed like he really liked it up there. He seemed to shine and smile brightly, at the students and made them feel special. He was covering up, his heart-break.

I groaned and shook my head at the sight of his acting. " You need to fix this, Rukia", I told myself. " But, how?", I asked myself.

I thought about the two questions, or options I thought of earlier when it came to Ichigo.

If I did give him a chance, there was the chance that I would fall in love -not that I am not already. I could be happy, and get married like I wished to in the first place. I sighed and looked out the window. What would it be like, to be married? Happy? Wonderful? Maybe, it wasn't like I thought. Maybe, faith would be on my side and I could have what I envied, from others. A family of my own and a marriage.

Then there was the thought of my life being short. I could never make it that far, in the first place. I could start, and then it could end for me. _" Do the treatment..."_, was whispered into my mind. I snapped my eyes away from the window and looked at my class. _" If it works, you can be with him for the rest of your life. If it doesn't, no one can say you didn't fight and try to win... what are the pro's and con's...", _the voice went on.

I frowned slightly and sighed; if I wanted to fix this, I would have to do the one thing that I didn't want to do in the beginning. Chemotherapy. I ran my fingers through my locks and sighed. If I did Chemo, I would probably lose all of my hair.

I leaned back in my chair and raised the camera towards the scene in front of me. I smiled, when I saw Ichigo telling Astuko how to spell: Adventure. In the back you could see the chal-board with his writing and the orange walls. Beside, Atsuko was Umi and she was looked at his paragraph and then to hers. I snapped the photo, when I saw the smile on Ichigo's lip.

It didn't take long for lunch to come, when it did I stood and grabbed my things. I went to Nemu's classroom and knocked softly. " Hello, Kuchiki-sensi", her class said. I waved and walked over to her as she sat at her desk.

" Rukia, what brought you here?", she asked with a smile. I grinned before pulling up a seat next to her desk.

" I'm going to go out for a bit. I need you to keep an eye on Ichigo, he's teaching my class today, and I can't watch him. Can you do that for me?", she held her breath and looked around her class for a moment. I know it was a lot to ask, since he was going to be teaching and she had a class to teach of her own.

She leaned froward and placed a hand on mine. " Is everything okay, Rukia?", I was silent at her words. It wasn't like me to leave my class, in someone elses hands and then leave in the middle of the day.

I covered her hand with my other and smiled at her brightly. I needed her to have hope, that I was okay and not ill. "I'll be fine. I just need to run into the town and do somethings, don't worry about me. I'll be back before you know it", I spoke with confidence.

" Fine, I'll check on his from time to time", she sighed. I chuckled and smiled at her as I stood from her seat. " Do me a favor. While your out, can you grab some more paint? We're running out in the storage room, and I think we need to replace some of the bottles since their getting old, and that paint isn't the best to use", I nodded and made a note of it on my phone.

" Alright", I told her as I went to the doors and went into the hallway. " Thank you, Nemu", I called out to her.

Entering the hallway, I bumped into a chest and nearly fell over onto the floor. The person grabbed me and kept me up-right. I looked up to see amber eyes and bright orange hair. " Ichigo... thank you", I said as I got out of his hold.

" You're leaving?", he looked at my purse and then to my phone in my hand. Did he care, that I was leaving to go into town ? I nodded and before putting my phone into my purse.

" I have to go into town to get some new paint, pick up somethings and then, I'll be back", I told him. I was going to swing by the hospital and pick up some pills before heading to the store and getting vitamins. On the way, I was going to visit some people. " Don't worry, Nemu is going to be checking on you and the class every once in a while. The second period schedule is on my desk", I told him.

Ichigo nodded and looked down at the floor slightly " Listen, Rukia. I shouldn't have been like that towards you, this morning. I wanted to ap-" , I kissed his cheek softly causing him to blush and stop his words. I smiled and touched his cheek softly with my delicate hand.

" Don't apologize, that's what I have to do. I'm going to make it up, to you", he was shocked at my words. I removed my hand and looked at the door down the hallway. " I'll see you, when I get back".

" Uh, yeah", he choked as I walked out of the school into the streets of Karakura Town.

* * *

As the elevator stopped, I sighed and looked forward to see the same sight that I had, the day I came to Uryuu for my cancer test. He was at the front counter with a clip-board in hand, and the same nurse was behind the desk on the computer.

I stepped out of the elevator letting my white ballet-flats tap on the floor. He looked forward, and was quite surprised to see me standing there. " Rukia, what are you doing here? I thought you have a class to teach", I chuckled and waved to the nurse who was wide-eyed at the sight of me.

I raised the camera to his eyes, and shook my head " What's the closest date for chemotherapy, to begin?", I asked him. I noted the smile that covered his lips, as he waved me towards a room.

" Annie, please book the next chemo date for, Miss. Kuchiki", the women nodded as I walked by. I entered a room that was empty and there was only a bed, window, bathroom, desk and chair. It was the area were patience's went, but no one was there. " Rukia, I need you to take a seat, so I can explain what is going to happen. Then, I will need to take some blood samples, to send them to the chemo group".

I leaped onto the bed, and rolled up my sweater; revealing my skin for the needle. Uryuu readied the needle and swiped my flesh, like he had in the beginning. I closed my eyes as the needle entered my veins and the blood was collected. " What made you change your mind?", he asked.

When thinking about it, it was Ichigo who made me want to fight. Seeing as how, I wanted to try a relationship out now.

He pulled the needle from my arm and placed it in a plastic container on the desk. With the question still in the air lingering, I pulled up the photo of Ichigo with my students on the camera. " This man, did", I told him. Uryuu gracefully walked over and took the camera from my hands.

His eyes examined the photo of Ichigo and Atsuko, with Umi next to him. " I see", he spoke as he smiled at the sight. Knowing Uryuu, is was probably the sight of Umi trying to see what Atsuko was writing, that made him smile. He was always a proud father, for his little girl, which was touching to the heart and a relief to see, since not many were like that anymore. " Koursaki Ichigo, a surgeon and a caring, man. What did he do to make you change your mind? I strictly recall him bullying you in High-school, now your doing chemo for him. That's a little out of the blue, do you think, Rukia?".

I sighed and covered my flesh again, with my feet swinging in the air I looked out the window near the bed. " Uryuu, you're not going to believe me, when I do tell you what he did", it was true. Uryuu may be smart, but he didn't believe everything, sometimes he didn't believe things that he read in books.

" Try me", he snickered with a grin on his lips.

I inhale a deep breath and looked at the camera that he had set on my lap, before sitting down at the desk. The image of Ichigo smiling with Atsuko, was something that made my heart sing and flutter. " I think...I'm falling in love with him", I wasn't sure.

Uryuu spun his chair around and was surprised by my words. " You? Kuchiki Rukia, the bullying victim of Koursaki Ichigo, from Karakura High; think you're in love with your bully?", it was hard to believe and I understood, why he was acting this way, but he needed to remember that people change as they age.

" Yes, I believe I am", I told him with confidence.

Shaking his head, he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and opened a folder that was on the desk. " I'm not going to fight you, and your brains impulses of emotions", he told me as he skimmed the paper in the folder. " Now, I need to know one thing, for your chemo. Did your parents save some of you umbilical cord?".

That was the thing. I didn't know, if my parents saved any of my umbilical cord blood, and it was the most important thing for my chemo. " I don't know. My parents never said it in the will, nor did Hisana. If I knew of it, then I would have used it when, I was nine and battling leukemia", I told him.

Uryuu sighed and wrote something down the on folder. " I'll call the hospital you were born , down in Tokyo and see if they have it there. You understand, that there will be spinal taps every 12 weeks, and you will be on drugs that will cause you to lose your hair-"

" I'm already losing my hair, Uryuu", I interrupted. He looked at my head and then to my hand which were tense at what I just had said. I didn't enjoy, waking up and seeing my hair on my pillow from the night. Honestly, I wanted to be like Karin or everyone woman I knew. I wanted a long mane of hair, that swayed in the breeze as I walked, and was able to be braided, but that wasn't going to happen.

Uryuu nodded and continued " You will feel exhausted, vomiting will increase, dizzy-spells are more frequent, lose of weight, and many more symptoms. Understood?", I nodded and leaped off the bed. I heard him tare the sheet. " Here, Rukia" he held out a piece and smiled softly " I'm glad, you decided this".

" Same here", I whispered as I looked at the paper to see my new medicine. This was the first step that, I was taking to be with Ichigo. But it wasn't the last. There were many more, to come and I wasn't going to give up.

Uryuu guided me out of the room, and to the front desk where the nurse got me the pills and the container for them. " I need you to contact your last chemo therapist and get all your information faxed to the hospital, so I can give it to your new therapist", I nodded and fiddled with the white bag in my hand. " You're going to have to go to Toyko for your therapy, and then come back after a week or two. The hospital you will be treated at, will make sure they book your hotel room. I advice you to bring someone with you, to take care of you. Possibly, a friend, loved one or sibling", he explained.

" Okay, do you want me to give you the booklet from my therapy when I was 18?", that was the latest information that I had for chemotherapy. It was sitting at home, in my bedroom hiding in a place where I didn't want to look.

Uryuu thought for a moment and looked at the bag in my hand. " Even though, it is old, I want you to read over it and then bring it here, so we know your records. I will personally fax them to the new hospital and get them to read it over, before you arrive".

" Thank you, Uryuu", I told him. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, he was tense at first since I don't usual hug him. Heck, I thought it was a sin to hug him. When he held me tightly and rubbed my back slightly, I smiled softly and felt tears run down my cheeks.

" You better go. You got a class to teach, and you don't want them to miss you, too much", he whispered as he released me from the embrace. I stepped back and wiped my tears away with my sleeve.

I nodded and went to the elevator, when I pressed the button the doors opened. Walking into the elevator was too familiar for my liking. I waved good-bye to the doctor, and then was left alone in the elevator.

I was actually doing this. I was going to fight this, and try to be with someone who I cared for. Just the thought of doing something, I wanted to do for so long, make my skin prick and my heart quicken. What is this feeling?

_" It's called, hope and freedom, Rukia", _I heard in my mind. I smiled at the doors opened and I walked out. This was the first step to my life, which I tell you this.

* * *

After leaving the hospital, I found myself heading towards the one place I never thought I would visit.

The grass ruffled at my feet as I climbed up the hill, as the wind tousled my attire I shivered slightly. Looking to the sky, I smiled and closed my eyes letting the sun heat my skin " Hey, nee-san, dad and mom", I whispered.

I followed the stone pathway, that lead me to graves that marked several peoples names and families. The sight of the dates, and fresh flower made me silent for the dead. " Rest in peace", I said as I bowed in respect.

Rounding the first row of the grave-stones, I saw the three that I was looking for. Falling to my knee's, I smiled at the sight of my sisters name: _Kuchiki Hisana. _ I touched the bright yellow, purple and pink tulips at the grave. My brother may not be able to put the flowers there himself, but he managed to get a flower shop in town to place some there every week for him. " Nii-sama, really misses you, nee-san", I sniffed as tears rolled down my cheek.

The wind blew causing my cheeks to become raw from my tears, and sting from the cold. It was almost like Hisana, was there slapping me for crying at her grave. I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of, Hisana standing next to me with a frown on her lips and a glare in her eyes for my tears.

" Oh, I know you said not to cry for you. But, you're my sister and I can't help but miss you, ya' know", my voice was shaky and my vision was blurry. I sat down and pulled my knee's to my chest, as I looked at the grave. " I wish you were here. There is a lot going on. You probably already knew that, since you're up there looking down on me and Byakuya; laughing at all our mistakes and stupid moments", I exhaled a long breath as the should of the leaves swirling in laughter filled my ears.

I smiled at the gesture, and looked to the tree's as the leaves sounded. Closing my eyes, I imagined my sister sitting on the stone in front of me. She was laughing and smiling at my words; her bright brown eyes shimmered as she looked at me with hope and love. A smile on her petal lips that made, Byakuya's heart flutter with happiness. Pale skin, that compared to the white clouds in the sky on, a beautiful day. And her short raven locks, that reminded me of the night.

" I met someone, Nee-san", I told her only to get silence. " He's tall, with tanned skin that looked like brown sugar, eyes of amber, hair-", I chuckled at the memory of Ichigo's bright locks and the way they glowed in the dark, in my eyes. " Hair as bright as oranges".

I heard the leaves ruffle louder than before, I thought there was an earth-quake at the moment near them. I pictured my sister, laughing and rolling on the grass as she held her stomach in pain. Tears rolling down her cheeks as she laughed and tried to get air. That was how, I picture my sister.

" Stop laughing, will you", I growled causing the leaves to go silent. I sighed as I looked up at the sky " He's really, nice. His name is, Ichigo", I spoke. When I heard the leaves ruffling loudly once again, I growled and glared at them. " He's also, a surgeon", I interrupted the noise causing it to go silent. " Nee-san, I know you thought that nothing bad would happen to me after you passed, but I got leukemia when you left. I was cured for five years, and now... it's back", I told her.

The sun peeked out onto my body, casting a warm blanket over my flesh. It was like she was hugging me, then and secretly I thought she was. Placing a hand over my shoulder, I looked at the sun and, smiled. " I'm going to fight. At first, I wasn't going to, but now that I know him, and have this feeling of... love. I want to fight", I whispered.

I sat there for a little while, just telling her what was going on in my lips and telling her about all my problems. Like Renji and how he ran away, to my feelings for Ichigo. I know, it sounds crazy and many would think that I don't have leukemia, but a mental disorder... but, it felt like she was really there, just listening and laughing at me as, I told her what was going on.

After an hours, I said good-bye and kissed her grave along with my mother and father who were next to her. I headed down the hill and past the gym where Tatsuki and Renji where.

When I stopped, I was in front of a house that was silent since three of the residences weren't there. I knocked on the door quickly, when it opened the sight of Masaki was in my eyes. " Oh, Rukia-san, what are you doing here?", she asked.

I smiled and looked up at the window which looked to the street. " Um, I was wondering if, I could see something", if I told her what I wanted to see; she would have called me crazy and slammed the door in my face.

Masaki smiled and allowed me inside the house, when she closed the door she ask a single question to what I wanted to see. " His room is the one, with the number 15 on it", I flinched at her words and looked at her oddly.

She went to the kitchen and poured two cups of tea. " Rukia, I'm his mother. I know, when he is down and when he is happy. Last night, he came home with a scowl and tears for some reason. I have never personally, saw my son cry before, according to Isshin he did it when I was in the hospital and he does it when one of the twins is injured", she sat the table with the second cup in front of her. I sat down at the cup and looked at the steaming tea in front of me. " Isshin saw him last night, and the it is the first time I have heard my husband say anything like he did", she went silent.

" What did he say?", I asked. If I made Ichigo cry -something, I wasn't proud of- then what did I make his father say.

She sipped her tea softly and smiled at me. " It seems like my boy, is getting a test from, Rukia-san. I remember my days in his shoes, and I will never want to relive them. I give him my hope, that he will get passed this and love her... even if, she doesn't show the same", she made her voice deep as she spoke, trying to impersonation Isshin as best as she could. With a sigh her eyes went to the stair-case. " Rukia, I know what you went through last-night", I snapped my eyes at her and was surprise. She did?

" You're afraid. Afraid, to love him and to leave him. That is why he probably came home in tears. Ichigo... there is so many things to say about, him. He is a fighter, sensitive, believer, caring, smart, repulsive at times, filled with adventure and loves to try new things. But, if there was one thing, I know my son is trying with you... is that he is trying to be a lover and a something new", she stared at me with her beautiful eyes and then to the staircase. With her head she motioned to me to them. " Do me a favor, Rukia", when I heard her voice; I looked up at her and paid close attention to her. " Make my boy a better lover, than a fighter. I'm tired and getting old. I want to see him get married, have kids and have a life. It seems like he, sees that with you. So, do a brittle and old gal' like me a favor, and give me that", placing her hand on mine, felt like something that was familiar to me.

Masaki, loves her son. I know that, from more to come, but if there was one thing that she loved more, was what Ichigo gave her. Soon, you'll see what he gave her, but for now, there is only a mystery to it.

I smiled softly at her and nodded. " I'll do, my best with that, fruit-basket", she chuckled at the name and rolled her eyes. I stood from my seat and grabbed my tea in hand. " I just need to see, what he is hiding from me, and then I will have my idea in my head".

" Go ahead", she told me. I walked up the stair, and passed the twins room.

When I was standing in the only other room up there, besides the bathroom, I felt sweat run down my back. _"You got this, Rukia", _ I told myself. I turned the knob and the door opened.

The sight of a bed with a blue and white, entered my eyes in the corner next to the window. A scent of honey and spice was in my nose, it smelt of pure Ichigo in there. Stepping inside, I closed the door and examined the room.

The walls were white and didn't have color, except for the posters of: Shakespeare, rock-and-roll, The Beatles, soccer, boxing and some doctor posters. I noticed a book-case in the corner, filled with books. The sight of the books caused me to walk over, only to see that there was several Shakespeare novels with sticky-notes on pages. I grabbed one and opened it to a page with a sticky-note on it.

"_ Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and confined, and breaks all chains from every mind", _I read. I looked at the books and the several sticky-notes in the them. The sight of them, gave me an idea.

Without a word, I pilled the books into my arms. " Let's hope he doesn't notice", I chuckled knowing he was definitely going to notice them missing. It was going to be amusing to hear about it, at the school.

With the books in my arms, I walked towards his desk to see that there was a list on it. I smiled at the words: _Bucket List_. So, he had his own. I grabbed the list and looked over it, " Number four: Have a romantic and heartfelt gesture, done for me", I smiled at the list and took that as well.

I headed downstairs, only to meet Masaki and Isshin sitting at the table. " Thank you", I sang causing the two to look over at me.

" Ichigo, is going to freak", Isshin laughed as he looked at the books. I raised a brow and looked at them myself. " He loves those books, every-night he reads a sticky-note", I shrugged and headed to the table.

" Rukia-san, what do you have planned with his books and... Bucket List?", from her tone it seemed like she didn't know, he even had a Bucket List. How cute, he hid it from the world.

I blushed and sighed " Well... it's a rather long story about the Bucket List. But, the books are a surprise", I told them.

Masaki smiled and went to the kitchen quickly, when she walked out she had a bag in her hand. " Here, this should make it easier to carry. Just make sure he doesn't see with them, or else you're in for a deep and detail lecture", I chuckled and placed the books in the bag; along with the list.

" I better be going. Thank you, Masaki-san and Isshin-kun", I smiled as I headed outside.

This was going to be a long and hard week for me. There were going to be sleep-less nights and several times, where I wanted to give-up. I also, would get on Sode's nerves, while I'm on my laptop.

This is my journey, to getting the man who, changed my life for the better.

* * *

**zitag-** Thank you, for the positive comment and the review. For the note, I looked for the "can't" and "can", issue, but I didn't find them. I found other errors, which I fixed but not that one. I will take another look at the chapter and see what, I might have missed. Keep review, and thank you for reading and telling me about the error, it means a lot. Review!

**EmpressMinea- **Sorry for the lack of Sode in this chapter, and last chapter. She will be in the next chapter, I believe. Ichigo has a tone of other nick-names for, Rukia. So, does she. I just like to think of new one, because there are many stories with the same one; and with their personalities and appearances, there are a lot of name for them. For the tiger comment, I never thought of that one, but it suit Ichigo well, so I will use it. For the happy ending, you will have to wait and see. It may be sad or happy, I am not cracking. Thank you for the review, and review again!

**Xsamxp-** You are always the first review, I receive and thank you for that. I'm glad that I could make them act like they do in the comic and anime. For Grimmejow, I tried my hardest, he was kinda hard to do since he was hard to mold and to not make OOC. Review and tell me, what you thought of this chapter.

Tell me, if you all would like to see the whole week of Rukia's planning and idea. There is will be a choice, or I could just get to Friday and show you the end result, and what happens with her and Ichigo. You choose!

Until next Monday, Review and have a great week! :)


	12. Chapter 12

_When I think about love, there are so many ways to see it. _

_Never would there be no sign of love, even after death. _

_Love is like the wind, that never ends on those stormy nights, my love_

_I need you to know that no matter where I am, I will always love you... _

_Even if I am not there to give you the touch or feeling.._

_Know that I am in you heart and forever yours. _

_Our love is forever, and internal; that is special to the world. _

_Each kiss shall be remembered, like our __last_

_Each touch will be fresh in our minds_

_And each breath will be in the wind, like the last from my lungs _

_Never forget me, my love. I won't forget you, and therefore, you will always be in my heart. _

_Love me, forever... _

It was Wednesday, all the day was normal compared to yesterday. The students came to the school happy and smiling, the classes were normal with learning and encouraging, no compliments from the teachers or students.

There was only one thing that was new to my eyes, today. It was scowl that was plastered on Ichigo's lips throughout the day. I wanted to ask him, what was wrong, but I didn't want to get him even more upset, than he already was.

I let him scowl for the whole day, until the students went home for the day. When I was in the classroom alone, with him still scowling; I decided to ask him. " What's wrong?", my voice was filled with worried and wonder for what was on his mind. I looked at him only to see the anger and sadness, in his amber orbs.

Inside I was smirking at the sight, for some reason I knew it was because he " lost" his precious Shakespeare novels.

He sighed angrily and looked out the window to the sky, that was covered with oranges and reds for the setting sun. " Someone broke into the house yesterday, when no one was home" I lifted a brow at the news. Was that the story that Isshin told him?

I didn't break into the house, only his room, if you wanted to say so. Either way, Masaki let me into the house, and told me where to get from there. There was no break in, I was sure of that.

" Oh really? Did they take anything?", I showed concern for the _break in_, so he wouldn't know that it was me who took his books.

Ichigo glared out the window and shook his head. " That bastard took my favorite books", I laughed in my mind at his words. The robber took books. Wow, what a robber, so bad ass and terrible. " Here's the weird part, though. They only took my stuff and nothing from anyone in the house. You would think they would go to my sister's room and my parents, since they have jewelry that can be sold for money, but no, they take my books and my list. What the fuck", his voice was filled with venom for what happened.

" Maybe they didn't want something to sell" I suggested to him. He snapped his head over to me and smirked. " Not all robbers, want money. Some just do it for the hell of it, and to piss people -like you- off. Besides, they're books. You can get them at Chapters or the mall".

Ichigo walked over and slammed his hands onto my desk, startling me. I looked at him with a sharp eye. What was he thinking, in that head of his? " They aren't just books", he growled. I leaned back into my chair and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting to hear what he was going to say. " They were Shakespeare plays, with his quotes. They are _very_ expensive", he hissed.

I was laughing on the inside, for his reaction and care for the plays. Only if he knew, that I had them in my apartment; waiting for me to finish my plan. " Stop dwelling on it", I said softly. He was shocked by my words and stood back from my desk. I stood and grabbed my purse and paperwork. " You make it seem like, it's the end of the world as we know it. I suggest that you calm down and think about it, from the others point of view; before you do something stupid" I told him.

Ichigo was silent. I didn't wait for him to reply to my words, nor did I want him to reply. I honestly didn't know if I could keep my act up, about the books. If anything I wanted to laugh and blow my cover. I couldn't have that.

Pushing my chair into the desk, I sighed and looked at him. My eyes went to his chest, his tight blue wife beater, didn't hide it, it just stuck to his flesh and stuck to the muscle. I wanted to run my hands down his chest, and feel all the bumps, curves, ripples of his skin.

I blinked off my glaze from his chest and shook my head for the image of our bodies grinding together. _" For God's sake, Rukia. Quit with the perverted thoughts! Two days! Two fucking days, and you can try. Stop now,before you turn into Rangiku"_ I screamed to myself. I didn't want to be like, Ran. She was constantly thinking about sex, and new position for her and Gin. I found it sick and gross, to think like that but, here I am thinking about it with Ichigo.

I tried my hardest to keep my eyes off him, but they wondered back onto his body. Looking at his strong arms, that I wanted around my body in passion. To his hips where blue jeans hugged his body. _" I wonder, how big he is " _ my eyes widened at the thought and I slapped myself. " Shit", I growled under my breath.

_" Get out of the school, now. Before you decide to jump him!"_ I told myself. I followed my thoughts and started to scurry to the front door, but he followed. Why me? Did he really need to follow me, when I was trying to get away.

" What's your most precious item?", I stopped at his voice and turned on my heels to face him. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked toward me, with a soft look in his eyes.

I held my breath when he was in front of me. My hands ached for to touch his chest, and to run through his orange locks. My lips craved for the sweet and spicy taste of his. I felt my skin start to heat up, for imagining our skin touching each other. " What?", I asked.

Great. Just, great! I forgot his question, in my dirty thoughts! Fuck my life. _" You would rather have him fuck you, Rukia"_ I growled at the voice that sang in my mind. What was happening to me? I really wanted the answer to that. I wanted to know why, I was thinking like this about one man and why, I couldn't just stop when I wanted to.

Those thoughts were always there. Even now, when I really think about it. I think about Ichigo, every second of my day. How could I not? He is my everything, and he is my angel. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have a story to tell, or someone to tell it to.

" What is your most precious item?", he repeated for me. I bit my bottom lips, thinking about what I wanted to tell him. I would like to answer with a simple item, like my Chappy the rabbit doll collection, but when I thought about it; I could live without it.

Was Sode my most precious item? No, she was something that I love dearly, but I could live without her. My pills for leukemia, maybe? No, I've lived without them for weeks. Then it came to mind.

" My sisters and mothers necklaces", I answered. I couldn't live without them. They were the only real things, I have left of them. My sisters necklace, was a gift from my grandmother before she past of old age. Mom's necklace, was from my father when they were in High-school. He gave it to her, for her 18th birthday. When she past, in her will she left it to me; since I always asked her about it as a child.

Ichigo nodded and looked to the sky. " Why, the necklaces?"

I snapped my eyes onto him and then to the ground. I couldn't look at him long, or else I would get those thoughts again. " They're the only things that I have, left of them. Byakuya has Hisana's things left in his manor. I allowed it because, he was her husband and it was going to help him more than me. My mothers things, were lost when she died. The town we lived in took over the house, and never gave us the time to get her clothing. In the will she left me the necklace, and Hisana the house, but it was too late to get the house since the town sold it off to some family", I didn't like what happened to my mothers wishes. Honestly, I loved the house I once lived in, but sometimes the thing you love; must be set free for a new beginning.

He was silent at the story or rather the out-come. " I'm sorry to hear that", he told me. I smiled at his apology and shrugged my shoulders. There was nothing to say, when it came to my parents. I don't really remember them, but I remembered some of the times I spend with them. That was all, I needed in my life. If I knew them more, and knew all the times I had with them; I would never get over their deaths. Knowing less, can be a blessing and a curse.

" It's fine. I'm not too upset about it, sometimes I think it's best. If I had her things, then I wouldn't be able to move on. The necklace is enough for me to remember her, like I want to", I said before turning and going to leave. I had to get home and continue on my plan for Friday.

" Hey, Rukia", I heard him call out. I turned and looked at him with my bright eyes. " How about dinner?" he asked me. I chuckled and rolled my eyes at him.

" Don't you have enough of me, since you work here every week", it always seemed like he didn't want to get rid of me. Every time I went to leave, he would suggest something that would make me stay with him. Perhaps, he liked my company or maybe he just didn't want to be alone.

Ichigo chuckled as he walked to my side, when he place a hand on my shoulder my skin tingled and my cheeks covered with a light blush. Thankfully, the sun set covered my blush and he didn't notice it. " I could never get enough of you, Midget", my heart fluttered at his words.

I glared at him for the name, with a fist I punched him in the stomach causing him to double over in pain. " You are paying" I told him. I began to walk away from him with my nose in the air.

Ichigo chuckled as he held his stomach " I didn't expect less for you" he told me. A small smile covered my lips at his words.

* * *

A soft laughter left my lips as I sat at the table, the food in front of me was rather healthy. A garden salad, baked sweet potato and some chicken. A cross from me, was Ichigo. He had a cheese-burger and fries. Looking at his meal you knew, that he didn't care about his weight or health, for the matter.

I couldn't stop laughing at the sight of Ichigo's lips covered with mustard from his burger. It was rather childish, but adorable to me. " Miss your mouth much?", I teased. He finally caught on and wiped his mouth with his napkin.

As my laughter died down, I looked around the diner and noticed the usual theme of the 80's or 90's. I was surprised they went served my meal, well, my sweet potato were cutting into strips and looked like fries, my chicken was baked and covered with a sauce that was rather delicious.

I took a bite of my sweet potato and sighed softly. I was tired, the med's Uryuu gave me were doing their job. I was exhausted, and wanted to go home to sleep for hours. If it wasn't the exhaustion, it was definitely the dizzy spells that happened every five to ten minutes. I want them to end, and be over with. Soon after the dizzy spells, the nausea kicked in and made me scurry to the bedroom, only to pray to the porcelain like a teen would after their first hangover.

Ichigo looked up at me, and noticed the slight green on my cheeks. With a hand he touched my cold cheek; I snuggled into his touch immediately and closed my eyes. He felt like the rays of the sun in the summer, on my cheeks. It was refreshing and wonderful, since I was cold like the winter. I loved the warmth of his touch more than, I thought. " Are you getting sick?", he asked me.

I opened an eye and took in a deep breath. " I can't get any worse than, I am to this present day" I told him. It was true, having leukemia was terrible for illness. I couldn't get anymore sick than, I already was.

He leaned back into the red leather booth seat, and sighed loudly. " I wish you would tell me, what is the matter with you, Rukia" his voice seemed to be filled with aggravation and wonder for my sickness. Honestly, I thought he would be the one to figure it out when he first met me. But, I was wrong and sadly, he didn't know what I was sick with. If he knew, that would make all this easier for me, and not so hard and time consuming.

I shrugged my shoulder and continued to eat my meal. I wasn't going to give him the easy way of finding out that, I have leukemia. If he was really smart, he would go to the hospital and ask Uryuu for my hospital records. Him being a surgeon and all, he would be allowed to see them, without any questions. Did he even know his power in the medical field?

" Why would I tell you, when watching you figet and squirm, is much more entertaining" I commented. I felt his glare on me for the comment, but I didn't mind since it was true. I did enjoy watching him, trying to figure out what to do, to find out. The squirming was cute, since it reminded me of my student; when it was the last day of the year.

Ichigo huffed and shoved some fries into his mouth, probably trying to prevent himself from saying something stupid. Well, that was nothing new. " Please, I would like to see you in my position, right now" he said.

I raised a brow at his words and shook my head. He didn't understand, that I was in his position. I myself, was trying to figure him out and fighting a cancer. I was squirming and scurrying in my heart, soul and mind for what may happen. He should have a day, in my shoes and see how, I live my life and why. " I would love to switch. I would like to see, what you would do if you walked a day in my shoes. Knowing you, you would break within an hour and then go home crying about it", I snickered.

If he was going to make it seem like my life was easy than, I was implied to make it seem like my life was difficult -which it is. Ichigo leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. I looked into his amber eyes, and felt my mind drift off into the caramel swirls. " What? Do you just go home, take care of your cat and then go to bed?", he questioned.

" No. I got home, clean, cook, do laundry, take my med's, take care of Sode and do paper work. That is only on an easy day. Do you think my life is, sooo easy?" I corrected. I wish he knew what I was going through, I really do. _" Tell him, then"_ I thought, but I didn't follow on with my thoughts. If I told him, then he would never give me the chance to explain my plan, or what I had in mind for Friday. Plus, I didn't need another Kaien and Uryuu in my life, at the moment.

I should have known better than to think, Ichigo was like Kaien. They were two different men. Kaien was protective and like a brother to me. Then, there was Ichigo. He was so many things, a lover, a crush and a savior. Looking at my past, like this, there was something about him that made me change. Not appearance, but as a person in the world. I didn't want to be like those people who, just live and die. I wanted to be known as Rukia, not more or less. Thanks to him, I believe I did such a thing.

All went silent at the table. The only sound was us chewing and grabbing food, with our forks or fingers. It wasn't awkward to me, it was actually comfortable to be in this silence. Maybe, I was going crazy or these med's were taking a quick toll on me, but I liked this.

Just me and Ichigo, together. Enjoying a meal and chatting like, there was no problem's in our lives or in the world. It was peaceful. Even if the conversation went dead, there was a new blanket of comfort around my pale body and cold skin, that seemed to warm me up; just a little bit.

" Are you going to die?" my thoughts were snapped when, I heard that question come out of Ichigo's lips. I looked up at him, only to find that his eyes were covered in a shadow left from his orange locks.

Should I tell him, about my leukemia? Maybe, it was best to tell him, since I want a future or rather a relationship with him. Tell him? " I can die " I answered. If my chemo didn't go as plan, and the cancer was spreading then; I was going to die. But, I have hope that the doctors will help me, and fix me, so I can live my life.

When I noticed the tear rolling down his cheek, my eyes widened and my hand gripped his. " Hey, don't cry" I whispered to him. I heard him sniff and then wipe his tears with his free hand. " I might", I told him. There was no real statistic that I was going to die, it was just a possibility that I could.

He covered my hand that rested on top of his, when I slowly stood and went to the other side of booth; I sat next to him. A blanket of warmth covered my shoulder, as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his chest.

A blush covered my cheeks as he held me softly " You better not die on me", I heard him whisper into my raven locks. I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of his body. He smelt of strawberries, leather, smoke and spice. I loved the smell, it reminded me of when Byakuya would bring I and Hisana to the fair down in Karakura. There were pony rides, clowns, cotton candy and rides. All my memories of the fair, were happy and not sad like others. Ichigo made me remember all the happiness, that was once in my life.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into his perfectly crafted chest. The sound of his strong heart-beat, was in my ears. It made me think of a drum or a rhythm that put children to sleep. I wanted to sleep, myself. " I'll try my hardest, not to" I whispered into his chest.

He held me tighter for my words. With a tender kiss to my hair, I looked up into his eyes and searched them; only to found happiness, sorrow, care, love and hope, in them.

Just the sight of his eyes, and the emotion made me want him more. With a delicate hand, I touched his cheek and felt the rough skin on mine. The warmth of his skin, made my cold flesh vanish, it seemed.

I let my thumb brush against his perfect lips, they felt of petals and silk to me. To his nose, that seemed like a slope of wonder to me. My fingers felt his jawline, and the sharpness to it. He was sculpted perfectly. " Ichigo", I whispered to him.

" Mhmm..." he replied as he looked down at me with soft eyes.

" I want you to know that, I am really grateful that you and I met", for more than one reason. If I counted, how many times he changed my mind, the list would stretch across the earth and back to Karakura. " Thank you", I whispered. I was thanking him for so much, that day. There was no way, that a simple "thank-you" was enough.

He kissed my forehead, causing me to close my eyes and focus on the texture of his lip on my skin. When he pulled away, I leaned back and smiled softly. I wanted to kiss him, like I did on Monday, but that wasn't a good idea. I have a plan, to get him, and there was no-way in hell that I was going to abandon my idea. Well, I can't because I took his books for this idea, and just returning them would be rather, stupid on my part.

When I felt his lips leave my forehead, I didn't move or try to escape his arms. Having him hold me, like this, was something I didn't want to forget nor have it end. In his arms, I felt safe and sound; from the horror's of my life. The warmth of his skin, made the chill of my own skin vanish and tingle with joy. His heart-beat made me think of all the magical things on the earth, and how they were taken for granted. Everything about the surgeon, made me think of something. Even that bright orange hair and classic scowl that he would wear, in the presence of others.

It's weird, isn't.

How my most hated person, became the one I can't live without. In high-school, we both wished the other would disappear -I believe. But, now, we only wanted to be in each others arms; holding each other and feeling one another. From hate to love, it seems.

In the darkness of my eyes, I heard a soft hum come from his throat. I looked up with soft eyes, to see that he was staring looked out into the diner; where couples ate and friends caught-up with each other. I blushed softly as I looked at his chest that was, in front of my face and the part of his body I was snuggling into. I gulped softly as I felt the eight large muscular bumps of his chest. Each bump of muscle, seemed to be like a rough time he once had. One for his mother, another for his high-school years, university, college, med-school, break-ups, jobs, bills and then there was a bump for me; for all that I had put him through since we met only three or more weeks ago.

He stopped humming and rubbed my back softly, like it was a sign of comfort. It was relaxing to me, how his hand was strong and rough on my back. The way the warmth of his flesh vibrated off his skin onto mine. Then there was the way, his touch made me feel like, I was the only girl in the world.

A touch can be, more than a touch. It can be a message to the one, that receives it. The way he touched me, was gently -almost like he thought he would break me, if he touched me any rougher. Warm, that added heat to my cold skin and caused my heart to flutter. Caring, like he wanted nothing more than happiness in my life. Trust, he trusted me enough to hold me in his arms and let all his walls down, without thinking that I was going to break him.

His touch, had a important message that I would receive.

I found myself slowly drifting to sleep, when I noticed this I slowly got out of his arms and went to the other side of the booth. I can't fall asleep. If I did, then he would have to carry me home and then have full access to my apartment; where his books laid awaiting for me.

With my fork, I played with some of the sweet-potatoes, that were on my plate. I wasn't hungry, heck, I'm never hungry now. My hunger was gone, since my leukemia was strong and the med's were even stronger. This morning, when I was getting ready for work; I thought of when my hair would start to disappear and come out in larger clumps than it did now.

" Ichigo, why did you and Orhime, break-up?" I didn't know where the question came from, but it seemed to catch his attention quickly. I still remembered his smile, that she gave him and how he would make her happy, but there was no sign of a argument. So, what made them spilt? They were happy together, right?

He shrugged as he took a bit of his burger. After he was done chewing, he answered " We grew apart. She and I decided, we would be better friends than a couple. The only reason, I went out with her in the first place, was because of Tatsuki telling me that she liked me", he told me. I smirked at the mention of Tatsuki, she was a hard-head teen back then and as a women she was still one now. Some people never change, it can be good and it can be bad.

" Hmm... seemed like something, Tatsuki-san would do" I commented to myself. He smirked at my words and chuckled softly at the comment.

" She is one piece of work, I'll tell ya' " his eyes went to the window that was next to the booth. He looked at the on-going cars and people, as they went their way; trying to get to their destinations. " What about you?"

I raised a brow at him " What about me?" I asked. I didn't understand, what he was trying to tell me. Was there something, about me that I didn't know? Maybe, he was asking another question about my illness. It was a mystery to me.

" Why did you date, Grimmejow? He isn't the most applying guy on the planet", the deep tone of his voice; gave me the hint that he and Grimmejow don't really get alone. Which didn't make sense, since what happened in the bar on Monday. They seemed like friends, or something like that. Perhaps, it was just some act that they played so there was no conflict between them in a public place.

I leaned back in my seat as I chewed on some of my chicken. I was forcing myself to eat, since it was important for me to. With out the nutrients and minerals in the food, my body wasn't going to be able to fight-off the cancer and protect itself from the pills. " I dated Grimmejow, because he was someone who was nice to me, when I was in High-school. I met him after graduation, once again, and we started hanging out a lot. Before, I knew it, there was a emotionally thing going on between us; and I went for the whole relationship, thing. It was my first time, in a relationship", thinking about my ex-boyfriend was something that I never enjoyed; since he was such a dick to me during the relationship. Just the memory of him the bar on Monday, made me sick since all he did was insult my brother.

" Was he your first, everything?", I tensed at the question and shook my head. If he was my first everything, I would've killed myself along time ago.

" No. Just my first, real boyfriend and time", I answered. Grimmejow wasn't my first kiss, I made sure of that when I was in the hospital when, I was nine or more. I was rather grateful, that I had my first-kiss in the hospital because no one, really, knew about it. Except for those who were around, when it happened.

Ichigo's brows raised at the news. " Who was it then?"

I smirked and looked out the window, to see children and their parents walking. " Kaien", I told him. Yes, it was Kaien. When I was nine or more, I saw a couple kissing in the hallway of the hospital, when Kaien came to my bed-side; I just grabbed his collar and did what the couple did. When I brought it up, with him now. We just laughed and joked about it all.

" Oh. Did you two date or something?" he asked. I burst-ed into a laughter at the question. Me and Kaien, dating. That was a joke, Kaien was like a brother to me and I didn't have any feelings beyond that. He was a nice guy, and all, but I wouldn't date him since there was so much history behind our friendship.

" No, never" I chuckled. " What about you? Who was your first kiss?"

" It was Tatsuki, when I was six" I wanted to laugh but, I didn't because it was a _really _long time ago. There was nothing funny about two children kissing, it was rather cute and adorable to me since they were showing emotion. Would I support, little children dating? No, they weren't old enough for that.

We went to eating once again, in silence. When, Ichigo was done his meal; I was done as well. I ate almost everything on the plate, but there was still some left-over. I felt sick from forcing myself to eat, I shouldn't have done such a thing.

Ichigo paid the bill, after our five minute argument over who pays. He won, obviously.

Now, it was just us two walking down the side-walk; heading towards my apartment. The stars were out, and shining brightly in the sky. It was a nice clear night, so they were crystal clear to our eyes. Not a cloud in the sky, to disturb the sight. The road were rather empty, meaning there was no lights, besides the street-lights on the side-walk.

Our hands brushed each others, as we walked sending shivers down my spine. I looked down at his hand as it swayed in his walk, the way it was alone and so close caused my own to itch for the touch. I wanted to grab his hand, and intertwine my fingers with his. For warmth, just for the meaning in the action.

My eyes never left his hand as we walked, when I noticed that his fingers began to point to mine; I figured he wanted the same as me. I quickly looked ahead of me, and with my hand I grabbed his in mine.

Looking over at him, through the corner of my eye; I noticed a smile that lite his face for the motion. I blushed and looked away from the sight of his face, only to look at the abandoned road beside me. When I felt his fingers through mine, I was speechless for the action. I looked down at our hands, only to see the intertwined fingers. Just the sight made my heart flutter and skip.

Tarring my eyes from our hands, I looked to the sky and watched the twinkling stars. I thought of them was my sister, one is my mother and then the last was my father. I believed that each soul became a star, once was pass on. It seemed rather silly, if you explained it to someone, but in the minds of others who want hope that their loved ones are looking down on them; it was actually quite wonderful.

Finally, we made it to my apartment and walked up the stairs. When we were at my door, we released each others hands and stared at the ground with embarrassment. " I guess this is, Good-night" I heard him say.

Snapping my eyes from the ground, I looked at him. His orange hair was bright in the darkness and his amber eyes glowed like the sun in the moonlight. I shook my head at his words and sighed softly, " This is not good-night" I told him.

He seemed puzzled at my words and grinned softly " How so?"

" A good-night means, that there is something good in the night. But, not now. If you are leaving then, is that a good-night?" I told him with playful eyes. I always thought "good-night" was something that didn't make sense. It intended that it was good to say good-bye and good-bye's usually signal the end of something. The only words of leaving that I accepted was, I'll will see you, later or soon.

" I don't want to leave, but you look tired and I believe you need to rest. Besides, I have to get home and call the Karakura hospital to see if I can get a job there", I nodded at his words and smiled.

" Then don't say, Good-night. Say, I will see you when the sun rises and the night sets" I told him.

Ichigo smiled softly and looked into my eyes with a bright passion burning in his. " That sounds like, Shakespeare to me", he commented. I rolled my eyes at his words, it wasn't Shakespeare. It was a poem that I read once, when I was little. My father read it to actually, it was something that made me think that "Good-bye's and Good-night's" where just a signal of an ending.

" It isn't", I said before reaching into my purse and searching for my keys to the front door. " It is a poem my father read to me, when I was younger. It made me think that 'good-night's and good-bye's ' were only for the ending of something", when I found my keys they rattled in the air.

He looked at me then the door. I pushed the key into the lock, and un-locked the door with my delicate hand. When I stepped inside, the first thing I saw was Sode on the counter toying with some pens. Typical cat.

I leaned against the door, only leaving a crack for him to see inside. " Then, I will see you when the sun awakes and the night sets", he smiled. I grinned at his words and looked into his amber eyes one last time.

" Never let the end be spoken, and let the sun meet the horizon and the moon sleep on the other side", I said softly before closing the door.

When I turned and looked over at Sode, she narrowed her eyes at me and flicked her ears back. " Don't look at me like that", I hissed and tossed my purse onto the couch. She looked as though she was angry, that I wasn't home in time to feed her. Oh well, she didn't look like she was starving.

" Meooow" she whined causing me to look over at her with a glare. I rolled my eyes and walked toward her quickly. " Meow" she said loudly. I groaned and got her food from under the kitchen sink.

" Happy,now?" I asked her as she gracefully jumped off the counter and to the floor. Filling her bowl up with food, I sighed and looked at the kitchen table where my laptop sat, with Ichigo's books next to it. " It's going to be another long night, Sode" I told her as I placed her bowl on the floor.

I stalked over to the laptop and sat at the table quickly. My hand went to the second book of the selection, out of them all I got the first done last night. It took my still three in the morning, but I got it done and over with, right.

My fingers glazed the leather cover as I opened the book, and went to the pages with the quotes. I read the pages that had the sticky notes and read the quotes. Every one that I read, seemed to be different from the last. It was almost like Ichigo was writing his own story in the quotes, or it was marking his changes in life. From the first novel, I noticed that he was more about funny quotes and darker one as well. But throughout the sticky notes, it went to love and happiness. He changed.

" I just hope this works, Sode" I looked over at her to see her cheeks filled with food. I narrowed my eyes at the sight and rolled my eyes " Pig", I growled causing her to glare at me with her purple orbs. I turned back to my laptop with it's perfect white keys and tapped on the writers pad; the sight of the document for Ichigo was there and read: _A gift for the Strawberry poet. _I made the title like that for amusing purposes, especially for night like last night. When you are on the laptop for about eight or more hours, you need a dry laugh that brightens the night.

My fingers tapped the key's. I never really thought that, Ichigo would be the type of man for Shakespeare. But, I wasn't going to judge, seeing as he didn't know much about me either. Well he knew a lot, just not a few important factors like me having a cancer.

I bowed my head at the reality. He didn't know about the one thing, that was crafting my life. How was that going to be good for a relationship? " I have to tell him", I whispered to myself. Sode's ears went back at the sound of my voice, her big purple eyes softened as she leaped from the floor onto my lap. Covering my face with my hands, I felt the warm tears rush from my eyes. I didn't want to hurt him, I never wanted to hurt Ichigo. Heck, I never wanted to get leukemia again, I never wanted any of this.

My body shook as I thought about all the cards, which had been dealt to me by the heavens. First, my mother and father dying in that car accident. Then my sister having breast cancer and dying slowly in front of me. Before I knew it, she was gone and I was left with Byakuya; the only some-what real family that I have left. By nine years old, I was a residence in sick kid's hospital for leukemia. For nearly nine or more years, I poked and prodded with needles trying to get over the cancer.

Then, I had that one outstanding moment; where the cancer was gone I was free to live, but the bullying was still there. I didn't mind it. I didn't mind, being called all those name, because I was free. I was free, to be me and do what I wanted. I got into college and then university, before I knew it, I was a kindergarten teacher and starting my first year of teaching. I even started dating, like a regular person.

I thought my life was set in stone, but then there was the break-up; which I did myself. Did I cry? Yes, but it was only because I knew that I made a stupid decision on having sex with Grimmejow. Did I regret it? Yes, for the first month of the break-up, but by the second month I was over it and ready to move on. I didn't date again, but that was my own personal choose.

After a while, I started getting tired easily. I would be at work and feel like I hadn't slept in days. I began to vomit in the mornings and at night, at first I thought I was pregnant but, then I remembered that I haven't done anything with anybody. So, I thought it was just the flu. Two weeks flew by, and the vomiting was getting worse; my exhaustion was getting more and more extreme. When it came to the third week, I was paler, always tired -even though I was drinking tones and tones of coffee- and I was vomiting every morning. I was in denial that I had leukemia again, but I didn't wait to go to Uryuu.

And that was where I started my story. That was the day, I met Ichigo and from there everything changed. He changed me.

" Meow", I heard through my sobbing. I sniffed and wiped my tears away from my eyes, looking down at my lap I saw Sode looking up at me. Her tail was still as she looked up at me with worry, she always kept it still when she thought something was wrong with me. I noticed the shining light in her purple orbs, and how they gave a hint of sadness and emotion. When she noticed the red in my orbs, she snuggled and rubbed her head on my stomach causing her to purr with happiness. I chuckled at her actions, for an animal she was smart and knew when something was wrong; almost like she was a human.

I smiled as she continued to rub against me. " I know. I know. No tears, makes you purr", I said as I ran my hand down her back making her purr louder than before.

" Meeeeew" she squealed at my words. I shook my head with a bright smile, for her reaction. Sode was one of a kind.

* * *

**Xsamxp- **I am glad you loved chapter eleven. How did you find this one? The whole new fight for Rukia, will be something that will bring more dept to the story and connection to Ichigo, hopefully. I made the story on a Monday, for that purpose! Thank you a billion times for the review! I decided to do the full-week because of somethings that will be happening. You will see some characters that, will be important to the story; even some character you haven't seen a lot of. Thank you for your thoughts about the question though! I hope you keep reviewing, it is something that I love since it helps me think about the next chapter.

**EmpressMinea-** I'm glad you told me about the how you felt about Rukia not fighting, before last chapter. It helps me, since I want to know how the chapters go in order and the results of the fan's emotions played upon her decisions. For now, there will be more love and fighting in the story so, stay tuned! Keep reviewing!

**Zitag- **I am so, so, so happy that you loved chapter eleven! I actually got some help from my best-friends on it, they are also in Fanfiction. I have decided after many thoughts and arguments with myself, that I will be doing the full-week for many reason. For one, there are character who you will be meeting, some in which you don't see much of in the beginning. For Rukia's plan's, it will stay a surprise since there isn't really any major give away's. There are two way's, she can go and the this little hint in this chapter isn't the only thing she is doing. Thank you very much for review! Tell me, what you thought about this chapter. Keep reviewing!

**Natsunoha-** I laughed when you were thinking about, Ichigo's reaction to his Shakespeare novels missing. I hope the reaction that he had in this chapter, was similar to the one you thought of. Don't hate the drug, love the experience! Haha! Thank you for the review! Tell me, your thoughts on this chapter! Keep reviewing.

Wow, four reviews for chapter eleven! I'm so happy! Sorry about last week, it was rather hectic in my house and at school. We are ending the year tomorrow and I have exams. Since summer is starting, I will probably update more often, but yet again I just got a job. So, we will see. I have news, for all my Hollowing Moon fan's. The sequel will be starting soon, I have a beta this time! For the Bucket List, I will still be working on this mainly because it, is the most popular story out of all of them at the moment.

I have another question for you all.

Are you ready to meet Rukia's hero, soon?

Well, I'm think about having him in here soon. There will be some great scene with her and her hero, especially since she is going to fight the leukemia. Tell me, what you think about meeting her hero, and not hearing about him, for a change. Honestly, I can't wait to write that chapter.

Till next Monday, have a great week and enjoy the sun! Bleachlover2346


	13. Chapter 13

_In the night. _

_There is no one, in the brightness to light the darkness. _

_I don't know, why I love the night but, I know why and who made me do so, _

_it started with the word "love". _

_From that four letter word, my heart fluttered and my mind went to the only person who said such a word to me. _

_You. _

_You and the way, you make me feel, _

_from the touch and kiss that makes me shiver; _

_from the love that vibrates from your heat and heart. _

_With the undying, decisions you make me think about. _

_You are my darkness, with no light to get me out of this four letter word, many know as love. _

_Would I want to get out of this feeling? _

_Never, it is far to magical to want gone._

_My darkness, my love. I wish you here with me, no matter the harm... _

_Because, I am nothing without you... _

My breath was labored as, I sat at my desk. The students were in the yard, for lunch and both fellow teachers were outside, with them. Leaving me alone in the school, with this pain that was covering my lungs and internal organs.

I didn't know, what was going on. Maybe, I had over-worked my body this morning when I went to the Kuchiki manor and, set-up the rest of my plan. Originally, I didn't feel like going anywhere since, I felt worse than now; but I pushed myself. Now, I was in such pain.

A groan left my lips as I dropped to my knee's, my arm over my stomach as a sharp pain vibrated my body. What was happening? I took a deep breath and looked around my classroom, for my cell-phone. When I actually needed it, the most, it was missing. Did the heavens hate me, that much?

I jolted forward and hissed in pain for my stomach. It seemed to be the worse of the pain, for some reason. I wish, Ichigo came in today. He would be here, to help me with this and tell me what is wrong. The worse part of my pain, was definitely, the unknown knowledge of what was going on in my body. I hated, surprises when it comes to my body. Even puberty. My brother had to tell me, what was going on in my body, for it happens; since I noticed all the other patients in the sick-kids hospital, getting taller and whatnot.

" God ", I whispered under my breath as the pain disappeared slowly. Was it over?

When the sharp pain hit me, once more. I knew different, it was just getting worse and worse. _Kill me, now. I can't take this, anymore. It hurts too much! _I thought to myself during the pain. I didn't want to be like this, this was too painful.

I felt my cheeks heat up, and my throat beginning to burn for the vomit that was going to arrive. " Not, now", I whimpered as I grabbed the garbage cane next to my desk.

Leaning over the trash-cane the vomit poured from my lips, and my stomach pains began to calm down for me. Was that the problem? The vomit, was building up in my stomach and causing me pain. Indeed, it was.

As I throw-up, I heard the school doors open and foot-steps heading towards me. I didn't know, who it was and at the moment, I was hoping it was Rangiku or Nemu coming to check on me for some reason.

The foot steps stopped in front of me. I wanted to look up, but I couldn't because of the pain in my body. The person, didn't speak as they crouched down and lifted my hair from my face. As the tears swam down my cheeks, I gasped as my vomiting frenzy came to an end and I looked over only to have my eyes widen at the sight.

Lose jeans that sat on his hips, that were perfectly in shape. A rather tight black t-shirt, which stuck to his body, revealing his six pack that was earned from hard-work and work-outs. His usual hair style and the concerned expression his lips, told me that he was worried for me when he seen me vomiting.

With a hand, I wiped my lips and stared at the visitor and friend. " Renji", I said softly as I looked at him. He sighed and ran his fingers through his red locks. I thought, I lost him when I told him at the diner. To see him here, with me was something I thought I lost from telling him.

" You're that bad, huh?", he said as his brown orbs looked at the trash; I just vomited in. I sighed and looked away from the trash, I didn't want to say it, but I was that bad. The pills, weren't working anymore and, I was feeling it all over again. The exhaustion was ten times worse, I hadn't eaten in two days, my bruises were getting worse and my vomiting was more extreme.

" It's been getting worse lately. The pills aren't working and, all the symptoms are getting worse", I told him without making eyes contact. I don't think, I will make to Rangiku's wedding let alone to her dress fitting. " I'm trying, Renji", he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest.

" I know, Ruks" he whispered as he kissed my raven locks. I leaned into his chest, and sighed softly to myself. This was the Renji, I wanted to see all the time and not in a blue moon.

He still didn't show this side of him. It was rare to see this side of Renji Abrai, even though he was in love with a women and wanted to marry her; he hadn't shown her this side of him. I thought, I was the only one that could get him to be like this. Soft, caring and comforting. So, far that statement was true.

I gasped in pain as my stomach screamed in pain. My eyes were closed as I held my breath, this pain was something I couldn't handle anymore. I wanted it gone. I needed to go see, Uryuu. Now.

Renji looked at the painful expression on my face, and held me tighter in his arms; like it was the last time he would see me alive. " How bad does it hurt?", he asked me. Since his brother suffer and lost to leukemia, Renji was skilled in some of the things that could happen.

I remember when, I was in the hospital with his brother. Sometimes, he would cry and cry, because he was in some kind of pain. His little arms would clench his stomach, and he would cry for the nurse to make it stop. That was on his worse days. I would ask the nurses, why he was crying and what was wrong. They would never answer me, and just close the curtains, so I wouldn't see the little boy in pain.

As the pain seemed to become less, I looked at Renji with my violet orbs that were filled with tears of pain. " I-It's... really bad, Renji" my voice wasn't the same in the pain. It was filled with pain and suffering. If you compared it to anything, you would say it was like watching puppies being put to rest.

He stood quickly and helped me to my feet. I grabbed my purse off my desk and looked out the window, to see Rangiku and Nemu laughing with the students. " I got to get you, to Uryuu, now", he said. I looked over at him and cringed.

I didn't have anytime to stop him, when he lead me out the school. When I walked, it felt as though I was being stabbed over and over, in my stomach. This was pure torture. I took sharp breathes as I was dragged out the school.

I wish he, would stop and see that I can't truly walk at the moment. It hurts, too much.

I didn't look back at the school, because I knew that I would want to stay and never leave. I was -as many would say- addicted to my job and what I do, with my students. Just looking at the school, made me want to come back in a heart-beat.

Renji turned and looked at the pain, I was in and stopped in his tracks. " I didn't bring a car", he stated. Meaning, I had to walk to the hospital. I didn't think, that I could make it seven blocks or anything.

I looked at him my painful state, and glared at him in my pain. Was he crazy? Me, walking seven blocks?

Think, Rukia. Think.

" Carry me", I told him as we rounded the corner. He looked at me oddly, and shook his head at my demand. With a hand, I grabbed his fore-arm. " Bend over, and let me get carried", I growled. I wasn't in the mood, to walk in pain.

Renji was silent by my venom filled voice. He crouched down slowly allowing me on his muscular back. I slipped onto his back and hugged his body as the pain flashed through me. " You're demanding, when you are in pain", he snickered as he stood from the ground.

I looked at him and grinned through the pain. The smell, of his body seemed to eez the pain of my stomach. " You on, tight enough?" he asked and I nodded through a wave of pain.

" Yeah, go" I whispered. He became to jog down the sidewalk with me on his back. My body bounced with his, as he jogged.

I was glad that, Renji was a fitness-coach because it meet that he was skilled with running and could run long distances. Seven blocks was nothing for him to run.

With his quick speed of a jog, he dodged people and held onto my thighs; to make sure that I didn't fall or get injured in anyway. When I felt a pain in my stomach, I tightened my hold on Renji and hissed through the pain.

I whimpered in pain, and it seemed that he heard in pain; causing him to pick up in speed and run down the side-walk. When the pain passed, I peeked through an eyes only to see that he was clumsily dodging people walking. " R-Renji... stop and jog, don't hit anyone", I gasped through another flash of pain.

He looked over at me, and shook his head. I knew, he wasn't going to stop since he was too stubborn, to listen to me. Sometimes, I hated when he would act like me and be stubborn. Not listen to me, and do what he wanted. It was the one trait, I hated about myself sometimes.

" If you hit someone, it will be bad for you and the person. But, worse for me", I growled in his ear. He was silent as he slowed down and listened to me, for once. I knew, if I brought up someone getting hurt from his actions, and my well-being in question that he would listen. I would at least.

I looked out on the street, to see an old lady with her cane and wrinkles. Beside the old women, was her grandson, who I couldn't help but smirk at.

The sight of Toushiro and his grandmother, was something that was easy for me to see. He was a grandma's boy, if she was sick he would by her side and not with his family. The old came first in his mind, and he didn't care who disagreed. That was something that made me think, he and Karin were a good match.

Karin may seem like a bad-ass soccer player, but in all truth she cared a lot about everyone. Especially, her father. When, Isshin was sick once last year, she didn't come to the school or go to her school. She was home, with her daddy taking care of him and making sure that he was taken care of. If anything she was the biggest, daddy's girl, I knew. Well, beside, Nemu.

Both teens seemed to have some special relation to their elders, or loved ones. Even if they were the bad-ass's and genius in the High-school. It was cute to see.

As much as, I loved the sight of the two on the side-walk. There was a part of me that, hated it just as equally. I wanted to grow old, and be an old women. Be old and have my grandson or grand-daughter carry my groceries, cause they loved me so, much. Was I even going to have that?

Today, I still think that. Even at Ichigo and then to my little gift. I wanted to know, if I would ever see the day, that I would see my grand-children. I wanted to. I really wanted to, because they were something from my children and my second chance to see a younger vision of my children. They were the future of my own kids.

My thoughts and dreams, were interrupted rather rudely with a pain shooting through my stomach. " Ah...h", I heard come from my throat as I waited for the pain to leave me. I closed my eyes tightly and gritted my teeth in worry. I hate this pain, and how it made me act towards it.

Rukia Kuchiki, don't bow down to pain. That was the most known fact of me, and it was obvious. If I was giving in to pain, then it was the worse pain to think of. It was worse than getting a large nail in your foot, that once happened to me at the hospital. Some nurse didn't check the floors properly and stood out of my bed, only to get a nail in the foot. I didn't cry or scream, I took deep breathes and called for someone to help me. Maybe, pain was numbing to me by now.

_" You can get through this pain, Rukia. You know you can. You can do this", _I thought to myself. Then there was this tiny voice in my head saying: it's too painful and, I can't take it. Out of the two voices, I was siding with the one telling me, it was too much.

Renji came to a stop when he made it the hospital. He looked at me, and looked around the nearly empty room. The few nurses that were there, were rather silent as they did their job and didn't notice me. " Ruks", he spoke softly. I opened my eyes and looked into his brown one that were filled with fear and worry. His hands that were on my shoulders, slide down my arms to my hands. " I'm going to get you, some help" he told me, I nodded as the pain came once again.

He rushed to the desk, as I sat in one of the chairs and held my stomach. The pain seemed to be getting worse, since I hadn't thrown up in ten or less minutes. " Is Ishida Uryuu, in today?" I heard Renji ask. At least he was going to get Uryuu, since he was pretty much, the only doctor that knew of my cancer.

The nurse looked at me with a smirk. I narrowed my eyes, at the elderly women and watched as she rolled her eyes at the red-head. " Sorry, kid. He just went on break" she told him.

I gasped loudly as a sharp pain, went through my stomach again and I doubled over. One of the younger nurses noticed and walked over to me, with her perfect smile and kind eyes. " Miss, are you okay?" she asked me.

I looked over at Renji as he scowled at the elder nurse, for her words. " What do you mean: he went on break? My friend is in pain, and she needs to see , now", he growled. I knew he was going to get into a fight, with the women, before I even got the help.

I looked at the nurse and shook my head. " I need to see a doctor", I told her softly in pain. Her soft hand touched me shoulder as she nodded, and went to get me a wheel-chair and a doctor. " Ah", I yelped as I leaned over in the seat. Renji came rushing over to me, quickly and touched my back. " It... hurts", I cried.

" Page, Doctor Koursaki-kun", I looked up to see the nurse that was getting me the wheel-chair, ordering the elder nurse. In front of her was a wheel-chair, that she brought over and allowed me to her into.

" Doctor Koursaki, to the main floor, immediately", I didn't pay mind to the name of the doctor. I just needed one, to help with this pain in my stomach. It was getting worse than, it was in the school and on the way here.

My eyes went to the elevator, as I waited for the doctor. I needed them to hurry, the hell up.

Sitting in the chair, I leaned over and groaned in pain. The soft nurse was at my side, rubbing my back. Then, it hit me, like a tone of bricks. I waved my hands for a bucket, but no one understood my calling.

" Here", I heard as a trash-cane was placed into my view. I looked up with my some-what, green cheek to see Renji holding the trash.

I grabbed the cane, and didn't hesitate to vomit into the metal bin. " Uhhh", was all they heard from me as, the vomit filled the metal cane. My short raven locks covered my face, from them as the vomit came over flooding from my rose petal lips and into the cold cane.

" What's her name?", the nurse as Renji as she rubbed my back and, steered me towards the elevator that was opening.

Renji looked to me and then to the nurse, as he ran his finger through his red hair and sighed. " Her name, is Kuchiki Rukia" he answered her. He looked to the front desk, only to see they were looking upo my medical records; which were quiet long for one person.

**Ding! **I heard from the elevator. The sound of shoes clicking against the floor, was in my ears, but I didn't look up to see the doctor. My head was still in the trash-cane as the vomit, swarmed out of my mouth and coated the metal. " Hia. You called", the voice seemed familiar but, I didn't think more into it.

Renji went tense as he looked at the doctor, with his white lab coat and scrubs. " I-Ichigo", I heard him say in a stuttered.

As my vomiting came to an end, I looked at up through my locks to see the orange-haired man looked around the room. God, no. I didn't want him, to find out like this about my leukemia. Shit.

" Hai, Koursaki-kun. This is, Kuchiki-san. As you can see-" the echoing sound of me vomiting interrupted the nurse. Ichigo looked down at me, and touched my head.

" Kuchiki?", he questioned as he looked at me. I didn't say anything, since I was vomiting into the trash-cane. " Get her upstairs, into room 15. I want her records to me, in five-minutes", he ordered as the nurse pushed me into the elevator. He followed.

Renji grabbed the cane from me, when I was done and sighed loudly at the sight. " When was the last time, you ate?", I heard him ask me. I didn't look over at him, but stuck up a finger. " One day?" he questioned.

" I went out to eat, yesterday. That's it" I told him. I peeked over at Ichigo, who's eyes were glued to my figure. I went to look at him, but my hand went to the bucket quickly for me to puke again.

I hated throwing up, it was gross and painful from; the acid and the smell.

Ichigo walked over and crouched down in front of me, as my puking as to an end. With a hand, he swept my locks away to see my face. I looked at his amber orbs, and was silent at the moment. " Rukia..." he trailed off. The sight of me, must have been shocking.

I groaned as the pain hit my stomach, again. " Ichigo...", I moaned as my stomach clenched and my pain come shattering my last moment of normality. A tear rolled down my cheek, as the pain covered my body. " It... hurts", my voice was high and my pain was visual for him to see.

**Ding. **Went the elevator again, as it opened and the sight of Uryuu, was in my eyes. I was grateful to see him, in front of me. " Rukia, what's the matter?", he asked me. When he looked at Renji, he noticed the worried look on his face. The only look that appeared, when he thought of leukemia and what it did to his brother.

" Nurse, I want her on an I.V, and X-ray on my desk in ten minutes", Ichigo ordered as he stood quickly and directed the nurse to a room.

" She doesn't need, an X-ray" Renji told him. Uryuu looked at him with a questionable look, and then to me as I doubled over. " She needs base. Something to mix with the acid, and calm it in her stomach. The more acid that builds the worse it gets", he told them both. His eyes went to Uryuu and then to Ichigo. " Uryuu, you might want to move that date up. Also, get some more buckets, there is going to be a lot more vomiting, than there is now", he warned them.

Renji was no doctor, but he was skilled enough to know what to do. Since, he was with his brother, till the day he passed and was put in his grave. From those five or less years, he learned enough to know; what to do when this happens.

Uryuu nodded and looked at Ichigo. " I'll take, Rukia. You need to tend to the women, in the E.R. since she got a stick lodge in her neck", the sound of the ER made me cringe. Some of the things, that happened in the hospital needed to be documented in a book of gore. I would wonder, how the people managed to do that to themselves. But, then, I would have to think of what it looked like.

Ichigo looked at me, as the nurse helped me onto the bed. I glanced over at his face, to see nothing but pure worry, for me. He looked like, he didn't want to leave my side. I didn't really, want him to leave either.

Uryuu noticed the connection between, I and the surgeon. He placed a hand on, Ichigo's shoulder " You can visit her, once you are done", he told the man.

He looked at Uryuu and then to me. " You better take of her", Ichigo spoke with a serious voice. Uryuu nodded and he went off to work on the women, with the stick in her neck.

With Ichigo gone, it left: me, Uryuu, Renji and the nurse in the room. The young doctor walked over, and touched my stomach. I held my breath and went through the pain slowly, as he touched my clothed stomach. " Get her, into a hospital gown. Renji, come outside and tell me, what is going on; while I get the medicine".

The door closed as the two men left the room. I looked over at the nurse to see the blue hospital gown. _Wow, I'm going to be back in one of these... sooner than, I thought_, I told myself as I started to strip my sweater and blouse off my body.

" Oh my", I heard her gasp at the sight of my bruise. I looked over at the shades of purple, and then to the women. " How did you get that?", she asked as her hand tied the back, of the dress up.

I groaned in pain, and sighed as it left quickly. " I have something... that makes me bruise easily", I told her. She nodded as she placed the IV into my wrist, and folded my clothing before placing it to the side.

I laid back on the cotton bed, and closed my eyes. I was tired, and I was in pain. Those two words: tired and pain, were never a good combonation to have. You had little strength to fight the pain, and the pain was taking your energy away quickly.

As much as, I didn't want to think this, or say this; it was true. I need the medicine, and I needed it now. Not later or in five minutes, I needed it now.

With a loud yelp, the nurse jumped at my out-burst and looked over at me to see me; hunched over and sobbing about the pain. " Kill me... kill me, now", I cried as the pain got worse and worse. I didn't want to keep going through this. I wanted it over, and done with.

The nurse walked over and looked at the bruise, before she covered them with some bandages. I looked at her oddly and sighed, I was going to ask her, what she was doing. It was pointless. " How do you know, Koursaki-kun?", she asked as she got the wrist-band on me and had all the medicine hooked up to me.

I blushed at the name of Ichigo. Why was, I acting like a school girl? He was one guy.

When I turned my head, I smiled. Then there was a large wave of pain that filled my mind. I yelped in pain and gripped the hospital gown. " A-ah...h..." I groaned, immediately the nurse went into the hallway to get Uryuu. I sucked in a deep breath and felt the tears dance down my cheeks. " Make it... stop", I sobbed softly.

Uryuu ran into the room. In his hand was a needle and a glass bottle, with a finger he pushed his glasses up his nose. " Rukia, where does it hurt?" he asked.

Renji walked in after the doctor and took my hand, as I laid there for Uryuu. " My... stomach, is the worse", I sobbed as the tears rolled down my jaw. His hands pressed against my stomach, and when he stopped at the middle of my abdomen; I closed my eyes.

" What have you eaten, in the last 48 hours?", he asked me as he tapped the needle. I watched as he filled the needle with the liquid.

I closed my eyes and felt the pain once again. " I and Ichigo went out for dinner, last night. We went to a diner. I had, some sweet potato, salad and chicken... I think", he nodded and stuck the needle into my arm.

He sighed and looked at the clock. " That will take an hour to kick in. During the time, I will get you some medicine to sleep, so the pains done bother you", he said. At his words, I thought he was a saint. If it was going to get an hour to get into my system, then, why not sleep. I needed it anyways. " You will have to stay over night, and then, you will be discharged in the evening tomorrow".

I nodded and sighed softly " Renji, can you go tell Nemu and Rangiku: I won't be in for the rest of the day or tomorrow?", I asked he nodded and kissed my fore-head softly. " And take care of Sode? She gets grumpy, if she doesn't get her food", he chuckled and smiled softly at the mention of the white cat. Renji was there to pick her out, when I was little. Actually, he and my brother, choose her. I wanted an orange cat to call, leukemia. Since, I survived.

But, in the end, I got Sode. I was happy that I got her, instead of the orange cat. If I had an orange cat, I would probably hate the animal at the moment.

Renji left slowly and Uryuu gave me the medicine, before I went to a slumber; I asked him one question. " Uryuu, what is happening to me?"

He sighed and looked over my body. " It looked like the pills aren't working. You need a strong dose, and I can't give you that. I have gotten, you a earlier date for your chemotherapy, but the medicine; I can't subscribe. If I could, I would", I blinked sadly at the news. It was going to be a wait and hope the leukemia isn't spreading too fast. " Here the good news, though. There is a cancer hospital close by, and they have accepted you to become a patient for them. You just need to go in, and get your blood work done. I have already sent them your medical backgrounds. They can give you the medicine", he told me.

I smiled at the news and gripped his hand tightly in mine. " Thank you, Uryuu" I said sleepily. My eyes grew heavy as, I looked at him. The medicines were kicking in, rather quickly.

He smiled and touched my fore-head. " Have a good sleep, Rukia. I have one of the hospitals members coming here, to give you the medicines since they saw your records. Everything is going to be okay, if they aren't... Ichigo will kill me", he commented before leaving the room and letting me get some rest.

I smiled at the mention of the surgeon, he would kill Uryuu, if I wasn't okay in the end. Heck, he would kill anyone who could have helped me. From Uryuu to himself, that was the kind of man he was. The kind of man, that many women dreamp of and wished for. That was the man, that I fell in love with and wanted to have for the rest of my life.

That day in the hospital, I fell asleep with a smile on my pink lips, for the thought of the surgeon; who was soon to visit me in this room and be there for me.

* * *

I shifted in the bed, as the medicine wore off. A groan left my lips, as my eyes cracked open and the sight of the ceiling was in my eyes, I shivered at the sight and sighed.

The white hospital walls, danced of the sun set with oranges and red. This meant, I only slept three or more hours, which was good for me. I opened my eyes fully, and blinked a few times. I looked to the left to see that there was the patient bathroom, and the window that colored the room with the sunset; which was perfectly sighted through the glass.

I felt something to my right, and looked over to see a bush of orange locks. I smiled at the sight. The tanned skin that glimmered in the white coat, and the sight of him sleeping was something I didn't expect.

" He did come", I whispered through my dry lips. I ran a delicate hand through his locks, and smiled at the touch.

He groaned when, I kissed his head and smiled at him softly. I found it sweet that he was here, sitting in a hospital chair, feeling on the edge of my bed. " Ichigo.." I whispered in his ear, he moaned and swiped at me slightly but, I glared at him. " Baka, wake up", I shouted causing him to jump slightly.

" Jesus! What the fuck?" he growled as he looked at me. " Rukia..." he smiled at the sight. I didn't have time to reacted until it happened. With a quick moment he wrapped me in his arms and hugged close to his chest.

I blushed, but wrapped my arms around him and grinned softly at the embrace. " I thought, I was going to lose you", I heard him whispered into my hair. I cuddled into his warmth and rubbed his back gently with my hand.

I closed my eyes at his words, and sighed softly. " I'm like a cock-roach, you can squish me as many times, as you please. But at the end of the day, I am still alive", I told him. He retreated from the embrace and sat down in the chair, beside my bed with a smirk on his lips.

" Thank for the new nick-name, cock-roach" he snickered. I growled and glared at him for the name. I did give him that name, so it was my own doing. Damn it. Nice, going Rukia.

" Shut the hell up, you cry-baby lion" I snapped. He scowled at the cry-baby remark and glared at me with hate, but I knew deep down inside that glare was a look of love. It appeared every now, and then.

" I am not, a cry-baby" he told me, but I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

I looked over at him with his scowl " What-ever, helps you sleep at my bedside, Strawberry lion", I teased. He growled and crossed his arms over his chest at the name.

" I liked you better, when you were sleeping", he muttered only to get a glare from me. I took the pillow behind me and whacked him over the head, like a whack-a-mole. " Hey! Calm down!", he told me. I listened and laid down on the bed with no vocal protest. I didn't want to waste my energy and then have to sleep the rest of the time, I was here. I wanted to talk to the pain-in-the-ass.

**" Koursaki-kun, there is a call on line 4, for Kuchiki-san" **was heard from the rooms PA system. I looked over at Ichigo as he sighed and pulled the tray over to me. I looked at the phone on it and the red flashing light on the phone. " It's the fifth time, he's called", he said. I raised a brow at his words, before he picked up the phone.

" Hai, Doctor Koursaki Ichigo, speaking", he told into the phone. I heard a deep voice on the other line, that I wasn't sure who it was.

Was it Kaien? No, he would have been here at my side, if he knew I was here; which was more or less. He most likely was here, when I was sleeping and Ichigo or Uryuu told him to come back tomorrow, to see me.

Renji? Nope, that baka would have started shouting at Ichigo, when he picked up the phone and said his name. Knowing Renji, he was probably at my apartment right now, feeding Sode because he thinks she eats more than twice a day. Baka-mono!

Then who was it?

" Here, it is for you", Ichigo said. I took the phone and pressed it to my ear, letting the warmth of the plastic to touch my flesh.

" Hai?" I spoke. I heard a loud sigh of relief from the other line. When I heard the on-going speaking of English and some French, my eyes widened at the caller. The only person, I really knew, outside Japan at the moment was, " Nii-sama".

Byakuya ran his hands through his black locks and smiled at the voice. " Rukia, you're awake. I've been calling ever since, Uryuu called me about you being in the hospital for the night. I was worried sick, that something had happened to you and that there was something, majorly wrong. I went and trying to get a ticket to come home, but they aren't available till tomorrow-" I knew my brother all too well. He would come and never leave my side, he would walk me to work and then to diners and watch who I am with.

I love Byakuya to death, but I didn't need that to happen with my plans for tomorrow.

"No, no, nii-sama", I interrupted him. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck gently as I thought of what to say. " Stay in America. I would love for you to come home, and to see you. But it is best that you stay. Besides, I'm being discharged tomorrow, so your travel-time would be for nothing", I told him.

Byakuya smiled at his my words and shook his head. " You are just like your father", he commented. I snapped my head up at his words and blinked at the comment. He never said, anything really about my father, this was a first time thing.

" What?", I asked with a soft tone.

He chuckled and sighed " You are just like your father. When, Hisana was in the hospital before for pity things. Which was often. I would call, and say I would come over, from where I was. I could be in class, and want to come to the hospital to see her. But, he stopped me and told me ' No, if you come then you will ruin your education. How are you going to support my daughter?', he was one crazy man. But he was right", I smiled at the words he spoke. It was nice to hear him say something about the man, that wish he and my sister not to wed.

Ichigo watched as I chuckled softly and sighed, " Nii-sama, I'm going to be fine". Byakuya was never one, to just think someone is okay, by the sound of their voice. He learned that with Hisana, and her cancer.

I heard him shift his weight and smile at my words " You better be, or else I will find that doctor that is at your bedside and make him into, a trans-gender", he teased. I looked over at Ichigo who looked slightly frightened at my brothers words.

I laughed at the two " Nii-sama, you are something else", I told him.

" What else, would I be?", he snickered. That was my brother, the smart, serious, funny, fast thinker and caring, Kuchiki Byakuya,.

I looked at Ichigo and rolled my eyes at his scowl. " You would be the scowling idiot next to me, by the name of Koursaki Ichigo", I told him. I heard him laugh at the comment and then look around, probably for the group he was with.

" I **do not **, scowl and I am not an idiot" Ichigo hissed from beside me.

" Suuure, you aren't. Look in a, damn, mirror sometime, would you" I snickered and went back to my brother on the line. " When are you coming back?"

Byakuya smiled and noticed the group across the buliding as he own. " Before, Rangiku's wedding. She wants me there, so does Gin. I think, they want something, nice and fancy, from the rich-guy" I chuckled at his idea of the two soon-to-be married couple. I knew he was joking about, them and he knew why he was invited.

" Totally, nii-sama" I said. When I heard my brother name come from several other people, I knew it was time to say good-bye. " That must be your group. Well, nii-sama. I am fine and I have a surgeon here, to take care of me. You enjoy the rest of your time in America", I said.

He smiled " Alright. I love you, Rukia-nee" he said.

I chuckled " I love you too, Byaku-nii", I replied before hanging up.

* * *

**Xsamxp- **Surprise! An update! Ha-ha! For the week for that week, and when-ever that was. It's to far back to remember, I know I was busy with school. I'm so glad you loved that chapter, with the date and the Shakespeare and regular poem! Rukia, is definitely started to think about Ichigo; in a different light. Not to be dirty, like she is. But, you must remember, there is juicy number 5 to come. There was a little bit, of Rukia's hero at the end. I can't really, just pull Byakuya in yet cause, well, he's in the USA searching cancer and this a huge thing for this character. Thank you for the review, I loved the length! Tell me, what you thought of this chapter; since you got to see the friendship of Renji and Rukia. Then the loyalty of Ichigo and then Byakuya's personality now.

**EmpressMinea-** Awe, thank you for the shout out on the poems. I try rather hard for them, I am some-what of a natural poet, I suppose. For the tenderness and such, did I hit any here? I hope so, that was kinda the point of the chapter because, now everyone knows that things may happened from the leukemia that will land, Rukia in the hospital for a night or two. You guys, also know that Ichigo is willing to sleep at her bedside. For Sode, well you will have to see what happens to her at the end, right? Thank you, for the review! Tell me, what you thought of the chapter.

**Star fire girl 788-** By any chance, have you watched '' Teen Titian's"; your name reminds me of my favorite female role in that anime. This is for both of your reviews by the way. Check it out, I got my laptop back before 7 day and 14 days. For the screaming, I am so, so, sorry. I didn't plan on my laptop disappearing for a week. I was thrilled to see that, I got another fan hooked on this story. Since the Bucket List, is going to go two way at the end... or not. No hints. Be excited for next Monday, I'm working on Friday's chapter already and let me say, this there maybe something you all shall enjoy. If the votes are high. Thank you for the review! Tell me, what you thought of this chapter.

**Guest- **Welcome back! I was wondering if, I would hear from you again. I was happy to see, that you did come back and read some more! Yay! I'm so glad you love the story still, there is a lot of Ichiruki's, I've read a lot of them and there are so many great ones! But, I am glad you came back, it is an honor. Thank you for the review. Tell me, what you think about this chapter.

**the happy eater-** You were the only one who, thought about the tumblr and let me say. I am making one, but I suck at it. So, I haven't revealed it yet. It will be probably next chapter, maybe! Glad to hear from you, and hope to hear from you again.

Well guys, surprise! I know its Tuesday, but its 3 AM here and I just finished writing this chapter. I have some of Friday done, and will most likely be posting that soon. Who knows, maybe today or Thursday. My laptop is back, yay. I will be getting a tumblr to talk to you guys and show you some things, I am thinking about. One question for Friday.

Should there be a lemon, next chapter?

Tell me, through a review! Have a great week!

Love, Bleachlover2346


	14. Chapter 14

_Fireflies, in the dark. _

_Be my firefly... _

_Be my light in the darkness of the night, in which I live and love in. _

_Fly around me, like you are my only sun in the moon of darkness_

_You would be, the light in my life and the new beginning from my darkness. _

_My firefly. my love... _

_Come with me, and see the world of the dark that I have been stuck in; for years on end_

_My lover and light, is what you will be and are to me. _

_You found me, in the dark when I was trapped. _

_You made my darkness, into light and allowed me to see a different world. _

_For that, I have grown something that I can not describe... _

_But yet, three words seem to pass my lips... _

_three words for you... _

_Those three words are... _

_I love you. _

A sigh left my lips, as I turned onto my side. The smell of the hospital filled my nose, as I took soft breathes and kept my eyes closed.

I had spent the whole night in the hospital. It was something that, I wasn't used to. " Well, After-noon", I heard the voice of the surgeon in my ear. I peeked through my eye and looked at his perfectly crafted face. I noticed the slight hairs on his face and rolled my eyes. He had been here, all night at my side.

I sat up and stretched my arms out as, I yawned. " Have you been here, all night?" I asked him. When I looked over at him, I noticed the blush that covered his cheeks for my question. My eyes looked over his casual attire, with his jeans and baggy black shirt; that pooled over his body. His clothes looked slept in, from my eyes.

Ichigo sighed and looked into the hallway to see Uryuu with his clip-board and lab coat on his shoulders. " What?", Ichigo asked with a annoyed tone to his voice. Uryuu had been checking on me, a lot too. Every hour or so, he was here and looking over. Either he was checking on me, or he was giving me the needle again.

He looked at the orange-haired surgeon and shook his head. " You should go home, you look like shit", he told Ichigo who glared at him and ignored the doctor. I looked at Ichigo and shook my head. He should go home and get some sleep. Sleeping at the side of my bed, wasn't the most comfortable.

" He's right", I told him. He looked over and me, with a questionable look. I know, he didn't want to leave, but he needed to take care of himself. It might have been one day, in the hospital but he needed a shower, clean clothing and some decent food. " You should go home, and make sure you are taken care of. I am, fine and Uryuu is seeing to me, Ichigo". He didn't like, what I had to say.

Probably because he wanted to take of me. Instead of Uryuu, doing the job and making sure that I was alright. Besides, it was his day-off and he was still here in the hospital. He should be home, where his family is. Not with me, at my bedside that I will retire in an hour or two.

" I'm not leave you", he said with a serious voice. I raised a brow at his words, and sighed happily at his words. He was going to have, to leave eventually. I needed to get dressed and checked to be cleared to leave. Plus, the cancer hospitals member was coming to give me some medicine.

I turned my body towards Ichigo, and narrowed my eyes at him. " What, are you going to do when I'm discharged and leave? Follow me, home. You can't because, that could be considered stalking-" I tired but he wouldn't have it.

" Well, I am sorry, that I don't want you dead. Sorry, that I care about your well-being and safety. I didn't know, those two things were so bad", I was silent at his voice and blinked at him slightly. I never heard him so, angry towards me. This was a first for me, and it was something that I would never forget.

The room went silent, as the two of us didn't look at each other. My eyes were locked on the bed, and the white sheets that were under my fingers. He was right. It wasn't a bad thing, that he wanted me to be alive and that he cared for my well-being. I guess, wasn't used to someone doing so. I will admit, Byakuya and Ichigo were some-what the same when, they were with me and by my side. But, there was something about Ichigo, that made him different.

Perhaps, it was the fact he was something more than a friend, in my mind. Or that, I liked him -loved him. Did relationship status, really make that much of a difference? Probably not.

He sighed and grabbed my hand softly from the sheets. I didn't look up at him, or glance at his hand upon mine. " I'm sorry", he said to me. I glanced at him and our glazes locked on, one another.

" Don't be", I told him as his amber's mixed with my violets.

Uryuu smirked at the sight of Ichigo and I. When I looked at him, I glared. He had no right to stand there and smirk, if it were Orhime he would be worse. Heck, he would be crying or something, probably.

" Uh, Ichigo?" he spoke causing the said man, to look over at him. The look in Ichigo's eyes, was something that I've never seen before, in anyone. It was sad and lonely, but happy and loving. " I need to speak with, Rukia alone for medical reasons" he told him.

When I noticed the women behind Uryuu, I was silent. This was going to be my new medicine for my leukemia.

" Who's she then?", I looked at Ichigo who had noticed the women. He was probably wondering, why she was allowed in the room and he wasn't allow to stay. Only if he knew, that the women held something that was going to help me live.

I bowed my head at the thought. He did know. I wished he did. Ichigo is important to me, and I never want to hide something like from him. I was afraid, that if I told him that he would run and not be like Renji. Maybe, I was doubting Ichigo and the loyalty he held for the ones he loves, and cares for. It was like, I was doubting Ichigo myself.

Uryuu looked at me and then to the women. " Rukia, is your stomach still bothering you?", he asked me. "_No, my heart hurts; because I can't tell the man, I love about my leukemia"_ my mind screamed and my heart cried. I wanted to tell him, but couldn't do it.

I looked at the women, with her business suit and her short green hair. The lights of the hospital made her skin white to the touch, from the sight of it; I would question if she had a cancer herself. Then there, was her dark brown eyes that were warm and kind as she looked at me. My eyes immediately shot to her neck, where an orange scarf was tied. I swear, that color was going to drive me up the wall.

_But, Ichigo has that colored hair... _I looked over at Ichigo and saw the color. I knew he had orange hair, but I thought that was just something that was to mock me. A groan left my lips as, I looked at the colors. I hated it, not the fact that the love of my life had; the hair color. But, it was just reminding me, that I have to battle to survive.

I'm, so, tired of fighting.

Yet, here I am. Meeting a specialist and getting stronger medicines, just to survive. I noted to pat myself on the back, when everyone was gone. I was fighting harder than, I did when I was nine. Yet again, I was young.

I looked to Uryuu and sighed " I'm a little tired and, my stomach isn't very easy at the moment", I knew that my stomach was back to normal. This was just my leukemia, telling me that it was still there and that my waking vomit was just around the corner. Being tired was something, that I had gotten used to; since I found out about my cancer being back from the dead.

I didn't looked at anyone in the room, but looked at the sheets and sighed to myself. This was the usual, for me now. Well, until I die or get cured again. " So... the usual", I told him as well. I heard a soft giggle come from the women, before I looked over at Ichigo hoping he would leave and let me, get my medicine.

Ichigo's grip on my hand tightened as the women, began to step into the room. Her black heels clicked and her white blouse ruffled as she walked over to him. I watched as she placed a hand out, for him to shake as if they were meeting.

Ichigo stood from his seat and looked at the women, with an odd look. What was she doing?

His hand went into hers, and they shook. " From the protectiveness you have for Kuchiki-san, I'm guessing you're her husband", my face went white at her words. The words: husband, rang in my ears as I looked at the two. " My name is Kuna Mashiro", she said with a bright smile.

Ichigo blushed at her words and chuckled softly " Koursaki Ichigo, friends with Rukia", he corrected her with out being rude. I looked at the two, and cleared my throat of the warmth that was raising. I needed to throw-up. Not from the sight, for my illness.

Mashiro smiled at Ichigo and then to me. She seemed to notice the paleness in my face, and released his hand from her hold. " Since you are friends, you should know that it is never good to have her over-active", she told him.

She leaned over me, and laid me onto the pillows " You being a fighter before, should know this too", she whispered to me as my head hit the pillow softly.

I yawned and lazily looked at Ichigo, as he looked at me with eyes of wonder. Mashiro looked at the two of us, and snickered to herself. " Yeah, _just_ friends" she teased before looking over at Uryuu. " It's a good thing you called for a closer date, she will need the treatment earlier", by her words I knew that I was bad. Really bad, fuck.

Ichigo looked at the two and then to me, in confusion. " T-Treatment?" he stuttered at the news. My eyes shot to him and away from the two doctors. Ichigo seemed shocked and un-sure of what, was going on. Just the word " treatment" seemed to confuse him. I didn't look like I needed treatment.

Yes, I have bruises and throw-up a lot. But, that didn't really seem like there was treatment needed. I would be surprised too, if I didn't know about my leukemia. " T-Treatment? For what? Uryuu, tell me" I heard Ichigo say. I sighed and looked at him.

Uryuu was silent as he looked at the surgeon. " You know as well as me that, all patients information is secret. Rukia is my patient, therefore, I can not tell you. Only she can", in my head I was thanking the doctor's and other medical position who made that rule for their patients.

Ichigo looked over at me. He should know, by now that I wasn't going to tell him; what I was dying of. " You're not going to tell me, either" he sighed.

I grinned at him and looked away slightly, I couldn't look at him to long; in my state. " You know me, too well" , I said softly.

Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose " Koursaki, I need you to leave" he told. The words made Ichigo's scowl return with an increase of anger. I hated his scowl, it made him look less handsome then he was. Wait... what? " Scowl all you want. But, I need to treat my patient, and you will only get in my way", I whinced at the comment.

That was going to be hard, on Ichigo's ego. Especially, since he was a surgeon and knew pretty much more than the doctor, himself. I never, really, heard Ichigo talk about him being a surgeon. If I didn't ask him before, I would never know.

" I'm more help than you, Doctor" Ichigo hissed in anger. He was clearly insulted by the last comment, Uryuu spoke.

Note to self: _Never insult Ichigo's position in the medical field. It may result in, punch in the face, yelling, scowling -nothing new, cursing beyond his usual, insults about your own job. When insulting, make sure you leave the room and aren't there for the result of the insult. _

I watched as Ichigo cursed and yelled at the doctor. The only thing Uryuu did, was stand there just ignoring him and watching his hands. Probably, watching for a punch to come his way. I would do the same too.

The anger that Ichigo showed for his job; made me wonder what he would do for the one's he loves. A sweat trickled down my back, as I thought of the anger he would show. That was something, that would scare me about him. Not the feels I have for him, but the anger he can show for the things he cares for.

" Ichigo", I said softly but he didn't hear me in his rant. I sighed at his rant about how, Uryuu was a failure and couldn't do the shit he could. I blocked it out, like I blocked out the bullying in High-school. It was all the same thing. " Ichigo!", I shouted causing him to shut-up. Finally.

He turned towards me with a scowl on his lips and eyes narrowed. " What, flea?" he hissed. I glared at the new nick-name. When were they going to end? I was petite not, a tiny bug that was hard to see. I wasn't a fest either.

" What did you just call me?" I growled in dis-belief. Here I was, sitting in a hospital bed sick and trying to get help... and he still has the nerve to insult my height. What an ass-hole?!

Ichigo looked at me with a raised brow. " Is the hearing down there, bad?"his remark got to me. With a delicate hand, I gripped the pillow behind me and threw it at him. " Midget!" he yelled as the pillow hit his face.

I leaped out of bed, and stomped over to him. " You bone-headed, egotistical, baka! Get out", I shouted. I was tired, annoyed and sick. I didn't want arguments or any thing other then my medicine. Which he was preventing me from getting, since he was still in the room. I just wanted him out and gone; not in a mean way. If there was a nice way, to put it... which there wasn't.

Ichigo glared at me with hate, but it softened into sadness. " Rukia..." his voice trailed off as he eyes went to my hospital gown. Did he just realize, I was a patient? Either way, it hurt that he actually insulted me in a state of sickness. Would he do that, when I'm being treated in Tokyo? Could he handle me, being treated for leukemia? He place a hand on my shoulder, trying to show some empathy but; I didn't see it. " I didn't mean to..." he trailed off.

I pulled out of his touch " What? Cat caught your tongue", I snapped causing him to jerk back slightly. I was angry, not at the fact he insulted my height; but for the anger he inflicted on me just then. " I'm in the bloody hospital, and you still make fun of me? Isn't it enough, that I am here. T-Thanks, for making me feel better with my flaws-"

" It's not like that, Rukia-" he tried but, I interrupted him.

" Not like that? Not like, what?! I don't want to hear excuses, Ichigo!", I shouted. I didn't know why, I was so upset. Maybe, it was because I was trying to be there for him, but he was preventing me from that at the moment. Perhaps, it was because I was tired and needed more sleep. Maybe, it was the fact I was done with the insults and wanted there to be no arguing. Either way, I was yelling and had no idea why; I was.

Ichigo shook his head at my words and narrowed his eyes at me. At the sight of him, he looked like he was ready to fight and that was it. To be honest, I wasn't going to fight. I wanted it to end, all of it. I wanted to get the medicine and then go home. " Ichigo, j-just go home", I said with a soft voice. " I don't want to argue and, I don't want to fight. Just go home, I'll talk to you later" I told him.

I looked up at his with my violet eyes and sighed softly, he was silent as he looked at me. The only thing that, I saw in his facial expression was the sadness from my words. At the moment, I wasn't going to show empathy. The colder , I was the faster he would leave and I would be out of the hospital. Being out of the hospital, and out to do what-ever I wanted. "J-Just go..", my voice was painted with nothing but sadness and pain. I was acting from experience from when, I was nine and in the hospital. When, it came to my treatment back then, it was rather painful and my brother didn't want me in pain. He would rather me die in comfort, then live in pain. That was when, I acted like I was okay and completely happy; but in truth I was in terrible pain.

Ichigo didn't move for a moment, and the air was still in the room. I knew it was because, of me and the way I told him to leave. Finally, with my head looking at the ground; I heard him walk out of the room and close the door behind him. There was one thing, that I knew about Ichigo by now and the way he portrayed his emotions.

The way his steps were heavy, and he leaned to the right; meant he was hurt by what I said. His hand were in his pockets, he only did that when he was thinking about something and he was trying to figure things out. But, then the slam of the door was something that I only seen once, and that was when he was in guilt.

Uryuu was walked up behind me, in my frozen state. I felt his hand on my shoulder, I heard the soft ruffle of my hospital gown against his fingers that softly dug into the material. " Rukia, you did the right thing", he told me. Did I do the right thing, by making Ichigo felt... guilty?

I gripped my hospital gown tightly in my delicate hand and felt tears peak in my eyes. It didn't feel, right. None of it did. I never liked hurting people, and with Ichigo I hated. I shook my head at his words and sniffed away my sadness " Uryuu, was it, right?" I asked with my sad voice. " It doesn't feel, right? I don't like hurting him, I never will and never want to either", I cried.

Uryuu tensed at my words, he never really saw me cry or show sadness. I made sure of that, because I cried away from people and hid from the world when, I was sad. At the moment, I couldn't hide from the world. I needed to cry and feel my sadness, that I held in for so long.

His arm circled around me, and warmth touched my cold skin. The only thought that came to mind, when in Uryuu's arms was... Ichigo. The way he felt against me and the warmth of his skin. It wasn't the same.

I was pulled close to his chest, and the scratch feeling of his scrub was on my cheek. " Ichigo..." I whispered in my tears. I felt the guilt myself.

Uryuu kissed my hair and whispered " It's okay. You'll work it out, don't worry about it" he told me. I didn't want to worry about it. I wanted to know, that everything was going to be alright and that I wasn't going to have to think, he might actually stop... having feelings for me. I needed those feelings, for tonight.

Mashiro was silent as she listened to my tears. When she walked over, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. " Stop, crying" she whispered as she wiped my tears away. I didn't, really, want to stop crying. With a soft hand, she pulled my raven locks behind my ears; clearing my face from it, expect for that stray hair that wanted to be in my face, all the time. " They way he looks at you, mean he will be back" she told me.

I wiped my tears away with my hand and sniffed softly at her words. " H-He looked at me, a certain way?" I never really noticed the way he looked at me; just the emotion in his eyes when he did.

With smile, she lead to the bed where she made me sit. " Yeah, Kuchiki-san, it a very special look. Filled with care, kindness and love-" as she started to take some blood from my arm, I snapped my head towards her at the word 'love'.

I had never at that word directed to me, except from family and friends; but nothing more. Heck, I didn't even say ' I love you' to Grimmejow when we were dating. Maybe, it was because I really didn't love him. Did I love, Ichigo? _Yes._ A tiny voice in my head whispered but, I ignored the voice and went to the thinking about the doctor's words. _" Care... kindness and... love"_, my mind spoke as I thought of her words.

Love. It is merely a four letter word, with so much meaning. It was a beginning to something new, like a live with a family, marriage and children. But, it can be an end, just like Romeo and Juliet. Which love would, I have with Ichigo? " You think he loves me?" I whispered the question to the women.

Mashiro froze from a second, but then went to taking my blood and then my heart-beat. " I know he does", she told me with a smile on her lips. She knew, he loved me. How? Was she good at reading people? I don't know.

From the words Mashiro, spoke that day I found her to be an odd women. She may have been odd, but she was a true person who loved people and try with all her heart. Never, did I think someone who, I met because of a higher dose in drugs. Someone who could do so, little, turned into someone that I would never forget.

" There!", she cheered as she took the needle out of my arm and placed it to the side. I looked at the glass, that was red with my blood. It was something that, I was too, used to for some reason. " Now, since those drugs, Ishida-kun has been giving you are too weak. I must feel where the cancer is located and measure it, so I know what level you are roughly at", she told me.

I smiled and took in a deep breath, for what she was about to do. I never really, like the doctors having to touch me all the time; but it was something that was mandatory for the treatment. To be touched. Funniest thing was, when I was in High-school; I remember some girl asking me :"How many men have touched you?" Yet, did I know it was some question that was going to lead me to, bullying that would last me four years.

Me only answer to the question, was: "A lot of men. I get touched everyday". Only if, I knew what they thought I meant. I meant doctors, and nurses who came in to do tests. They all had to touch me, not sexual but in a medical way.

Once the tests were done, she handed me the pills. " Take them, now. They will take about five to ten minutes to work. Only, one pill a day" she told. My eyes looked at the bottle and the orange. I didn't really like the sight of some new drug, that was going to slow all my body productions. " Kuchiki-san", she told me. I turned my head towards the door she was exiting from, only to see her smiling at me brightly. " A man's heart is reflected in his eyes", she told me before leaving the room.

My eyes stayed on the door-way, that Mashiro exited from. Her words were in my head, echoing and telling me, that love was in the eyes. Did Ichigo have love in his eyes? What was in his eyes? Happiness? Love?

I bowed my head at the thought and sighed softly. Maybe, I shouldn't do the plan tonight. Perhaps, I should let love take it's course if it is there.

* * *

I was finally dis-charged from the hospital, and was at home. For some reason, I didn't feel happiness or joy. It was like a numbing feeling. Maybe, it was because I knew I was going to be back in the hospital soon.

A sigh left my lips, as I lifted my head from my arms that rested on the kitchen table. My eyes widened at the sight, my eyes met. The sight of large purple eyes staring into mine. Purring came from the eyes, and white fur covered the eyes owners face. Sode.

I didn't yelp or scream at the sight, because, well, it was Sode. Her ears were back and her tail was swaying in the back-ground. She looked so cute, at the moment. Then, she opened her mouth and meowed at me. I narrowed my eyes at her, for the noise.

" What?", I said with a flat voice. I watched as her tail stopped swaying behind her and went straight, meaning she was angry. Just great, an angry Sode. What else was going to happen today?

Sode growled slightly with her eyes narrowed at me. What was wrong with her? I fed her and did, all she needed. Now, what?

When my eyes wondered behind the cat, I noticed it was 7: 45. I was going to get Ichigo at 7:50, since the manor was out of town and, everything was going to take a good maybe three hours. Plus, I didn't know how I was going to happen.

I shot from the table and scurried to the door, only grabbing my guitar on the way out. My little purple dress, that reached my low thigh and was strapless, fluttered in my quick walk. I wrapped the strap of the guitar on my shoulder.

I could hear the soft clicks of my white ballet fates, on the side-walk as I raced to the Koursaki house. With the warmth of my short sleeved, white lace sweater; I brushed passed civilians. I looked to the sky to see the black night sky, filled with bright white stars that shimmered with joy. I couldn't help but, smile at the sight.

When I looked to the street, I noticed the on-going cars and lights they shined into the night; it was almost like a painting, you would see in a museum.

I turned a corner and, all the noise of the town had disappeared. The only thing, that created noise in the night, was the sound of my shoes on the pavement.

My eyes looked around the street, with it's family houses that were lined up. Car's parked in the drive-way and windows lite with light, for the presences in the room. The one house, that caught my attention was, right in the middle of all the houses. The Koursaki residence.

The sight of Ichigo's car, at the side of the house made my heart flutter and my cheeks warm with blush. My hand went to the necklace, which laid upon my neck; giving me courage and bravery to do this.

I looked at the window that faced the street, to see that it was lite; like I hoped it would be. Through the window, I could see the man I was doing this for, at his desk on his computer. What was he doing?

I sighed and shook my head at the sight. I stepped onto the grass and crouched down, only to see rocks on the grass. My finger swept over the grass, and took the rocks in hand. When, my palms held several rocks, I stood and looked at the window.

Steadying my hand, I tossed a rock causing it to hit the glass. I heard the two collide, but Ichigo didn't move. I continued over and over, till he looked over at the window and stood from his desk. Finally.

" Ichigo!" I shouted up. He opened the window and smiled down at me on the ground.

" Uh... W-What are you going here, Rukia? It's almost eight" he told me. I snickered and looked around the street, to see if there was anyone around. I didn't want there to be, since what I was about to do, was going to embarrass me.

" Number three, on your bucket list", I told him. At first he was confused at my words. Rolling my eyes and I looked at him. I found it sad he didn't even remember his bucket list, but he could remember mine. " Have a cliche moment, that is performed in movies", I told him finally.

Ichigo smirked and huffed at my words, he probably remembered my words about cliche moments. " You don't, do cliche, Rukia" he told me. With a hand, I pulled the guitar to the front of me. " I pacifically, remember you saying ' kissing in the rain, was too cliche'", he quoted.

My fingers brushed the strings, and I smiled at him softly " Well, after tonight. A lot is going to change", I said as he leaned through the window. " Do you want to hear my cliche moment, or not?"

A smile covered his lips as he looked at me. " Yes, I want to hear it" he chuckled.

I strummed my guitar softly and got the beat into my head, as the song came from my lips."I don't know but I think I maybe, fallin' for you dropping so quickly. Maybe I should keep this to myself. Waiting 'til I know you better ", the words were sweet as they came from my lips.

My eyes never left, Ichigo's as I sang the first lyric. It was. It matched my emotions, and what we have been through. Like, dancing in the field and nearly kissing in the rain.

"I am trying not to tell you, but I want to. I'm scared of what you'll say, so I'm hiding what I'm tired of holding this inside my head", I sang to him. A blush covered my cheeks at the song. It was cute, and sweet. The two things, I was going for in the song.

When I heard the sound of giggling in the air, I looked over to the house only to see the sight of; Karin and Yuzu watch with wide smiles on their lips. Behind Karin was Toushiro, why the hell was he here so late?

My fingers didn't stop strumming as I looked at the teens. Instead, I went back to Ichigo up in the window. My heart fluttered at the warm smile on his lips and the bright spark of happiness in his eyes. "I've been spending all my time, just thinking about you.I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you" Ichigo smile at me for my words. When he began to blush, I felt my own get brighter than before.

"I've been waiting all my life and now I found you,I don't know what to do. I think I'm falling for you. I'm falling for you", if felt good to tell Ichigo my feelings. Almost like, a huge weight had been lifted off my chest and I was able to breath without struggle. I loved the feeling, of being free and clear with my emotions. "As I'm standing here and you hold my hand. Pull me towards you and we start to dance", I thought of being in the field and dancing with Ichigo. Just us, alone and dancing, was something, I constantly thought of. Over and over.

" Awwe, Isshin. Look at that", I heard softly. I mentally cursed at the fact, that the whole house-hold was outside watching this. I didn't want to look to my right or left, cause knowing the neighbor-hood; they were watching too. Fuck my life!

I looked at Ichigo again, as I kept singing. He seemed to get me away, from everyone that was watching and the embarrassment. " All around us,I see in silence, it's just you and me" a blushed covered my cheeks from the song, because he was taking me some-where, where there was nobody around but us. " I'm trying not to tell you,but I want to. I'm scared of what you'll say,so I'm hiding what I'm tired of holding this inside my head" a smile covered my rose petal lips as I looked at Ichigo. He was making me happy.

" I've been spending all my time, just thinking about you.I don't know what to do,I think I'm fallin' for you", I found myself actually enjoying myself while singing. I was smiling and swaying slightly, to the beat of the music. I didn't even notice the crowds of people watching from their windows, and some standing on the street watching me; do something completely romantic and embarrassing. " I've been waiting all my life and now I found you, I don't know what to do. I think I'm fallin' for you. I'm fallin' for you".

"Oh, I just can't take it. My heart is racing. Emotions keep spinning out", I sang as I spun slightly. When Ichigo, chuckled and blushed at my singing; I couldn't help but blush harder. " I've been spending all my time, just thinking about you. I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for you", I swayed to the music coming from my guitar and kept my eyes locked with Ichigo's; keeping me in the land of just us two. "I've been waiting all my life and now I found you, I don't know what to do. I think I'm fallin' for you. I'm fallin' for you", I repeated.

" I think I'm fallin' for you", I sang with passion. I was putting my heart into the song, I was ready to love and care for someone; for the first time, really, in my life." I can't stop thinking about it, I want you all around me. And now I just can't hide it, I think I'm fallin' for you", I was ready to love, like my sister and I was ready to love like everyone, I knew, tried or does. I was ready.

" I can't stop thinking about it, I want you all around me. And now I just can't hide it, I think I'm fallin' for you. I'm fallin' for you", I accepted this a long time ago. I was falling in love, with the famous Koursaki Ichigo. He was once my enemy and now, he was the holder of my heart. Small world, or just a new twist to a love story. " Oh...Oh no no...Oh", I sang as the strumming of my guitar got slowly. Signaling the songs ending.

"Oh, I'm falling for you" I sang and stopped playing my guitar. I smiled up at Ichigo only to see, he was blushing at my singing and the event I just played out.

He sighed as he looked down at the crowd " So, what does this mean?". I narrowed my eyes at him, and shook my head at his words. He could be such an idiot, the song said it all.

I didn't insult him at the moment, for his stupidity but used the opportunity. " Come with me to Kuchiki manor, to find out" I told him. He raised a brow at my words, and smirked " It's not for that, you pervert" I growled. I wasn't going to sleep with him, I needed to get him to the manor for the plan.

" My boy, is gonna get some-" Isshin tried but Masaki slapped a hand over his mouth and glared at him with anger.

" Be quiet, or you're in the dog house for the night" she told him. Isshin was silent after his wives threat, and looked back to his son in the window.

Ichigo smiled and leaned back in from the window. " Fine, give me five minutes" he told before closing the window. In my mind, I was screaming with joy for the victory. Things were go to plan.

I turned to see the large crowd with smiles on their lips, as they looked at me. Okay, this was awkward as hell. I blushed at the sight and waved at them shyly. When, I turned back to the Koursaki's, I looked directly at Karin who had a giant smile on her lips. " I knew you two, hit it off", she spoke before winking at me.

I rolled my eyes and shooed her off with my hand. " I knew you and Toushiro slept together. Secrets outs", I teased. She went wide-eyed as a red blush covered her cheeks. When I looked at Yuzu, I saw the murder in her eyes, as she glared at her twin.

" You lied!", she yelled with anger. I covered my mouth when, I saw Yuzu tackle her sister and Toushiro to the ground with anger " I want the truth this time! Did you two, have sex?!" she yelled.

I was silent as I looked over at Masaki and Isshin. " Wonderful idea, Rukia" Masaki told me with a smile. I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders. My idea wasn't done yet. " Will he back from the manor?", she asked as she kept her hand on Isshin's mouth.

I blushed at her question and shook my head " Probably not", I told her. Isshin's eyes lite up at the news. I heard the muffled words he was speaking, and chuckled softly at the noise.

Finally, Isshin was free from his wife's hands. " My boy is going to make me some grand-babies!", he yelled. My eyes widened at his words. He was putting words into my mouth. Ichigo wasn't going to be home, because the plan was going to take a while.

When Ichigo came walking out, my eyes went to his attire. Some-what tight blue jeans, a navy-blue blouse that was open and a black t-shirt underneath. I gawked at the sight of him. Damn, he looked so good. " I'll drive", he said but I bolted to the drivers side.

" Nope, I'm driving" I snapped as, I opened the Benz door. Obviously, I was going to drive since it was my plan and my idea.

" It's my car. My Benz, you aren't driving" he told me but, I locked the car door and looked at him through the window.

I smirked as, I placed my guitar in the back-seat and watched him walk to the other side of the car. When he got inside, I looked at him and took the keys from his hand. " I win" I snickered as I started the Benz.

I drove down the road, and looked at Ichigo quickly before the road. " Stop pouting" I told him, as we came to a stop-light. He looked over at me and smiled softly at the sight of my violet eyes. " What?" I asked.

He leaned back into the passengers seat, and smiled. " I never thought, you would do something as cliche, as throw rocks at someone's window and sing to them on their front lawn", he told me. I smirked at his words and started to drove once the light was green.

" Well, tonight is going to change a lot, Ichigo" I told him as I turned onto a road; that lead to the manor.

Ichigo snapped his head towards me and raised at brow. I kept my eyes on the road and the sight of the town disappearing behind us, slowly. " W-What do you mean? You're not going to kill me, are you?" he asked.

When, I turned into a long curvy drive-way; my eyes went to the large manor that was lite with lights. The large open windows, that made the manor look warm and fluffy. When, I noticed that the rose bushed were trimmed and perfect, I knew the maids and butlers where here, when I was gone.

I parked near the large two car garage, and sat back in the drivers seat. " I'm not going to kill you. I want to show you something" I told Ichigo before exiting the car. I looked up at the stone of the house and how, it stood with Kuchiki pride. The house itself was rather roomy and felt like home to me, for some reason.

My eyes wondered to the back, where the sight of several tree's covered my view. The lighted path, was noticeable which was good for I and Ichigo.

He closed the Benz door as he got out, and walked beside me. I smiled over at him, only to see his eyes were on the house. Probably, admiring the work he and other men, did on the house.

I looked at his hand, and blushed as I took it into mine. The warm covered my cold skin, from his touch. When he intertwined his fingers into mine, my heart fluttered with joy. So far, so good. " Come on, it's in the back" I told him.

I lead Ichigo to the back of the house, where the sight of a stone path-way was. Once on the path-way, I looked at the large wooden deck in the back of the house. From the deck, you could see inside and see all that was in the dining room and living room.

But, we weren't going inside.

The stone path was lite by lanterns, my sisters favorite thing in the world besides her husband and me. I began to walk up the pathway, with the sound of Ichigo beside me. The rows upon rows of lanterns

The light of the lanterns, echoed on the tree's in the area and cased their shadows. I looked at the pathway, with its grey stones that were, hand-cut and polished. My brother spend a lot of time, designing this pathway. It may seem dumb of him, but it was for my sister.

She loved lanterns and wild-life. The path was here before and was perfect for her lanterns, at the top there was a small water-fall that poured out water, and sounded like a laughter that melted hearts when heard. It reminded Byakuya, of Hisana the first time he saw the water-fall.

There were large walls with grey stone, that was soft and hid, the water fall from the world. It was like our own little world, that you could remember all the good times, and all the people you've lost. That was something, I did when I was there. I sat there, watching the water-fall and think of my sister, my father and my mother. Even, sometimes about Renji's little brother, when I was out of the hospital for a day or two. Just for some new sights and to get away from a few hours.

Looking up at the sky, I saw the stars and the moon in the sky. Both sights, were easy to see since the tree tops opened and didn't cover the sky. I smiled at the sight, and at the stars; they all seemed to be brighter and happier for the night.

The sound of the water-fall covered the silence. I looked over at Ichigo, who was looking around at the forest and the lanterns. " My brother did this for my sister, when she past. It was to remember her. He did it, himself though, he didn't want any of the workers to do it... because it was special for him. It was a way to remember, Hisana for him" I told him.

Ichigo looked at the lanterns, with the hand written Japanese writing and the perfect brush strokes. " Your brother, really loved your sister" he commented. I nodded my head at his words.

It was true. My brother loved Hisana with all his heart, when she passed he was heart-broken and wanted to be with her. But, then he remembered, that I lost my only family and was all alone. So, he pulled it together for me, and for Hisana since it was her final wish for him to take care of me. " Yes, he loved her to death. He was crushed, when she died", I said.

I felt Ichigo's gripped on my hand tighten, as he heard the water-fall in the distance. " A love like that is, so, rare" he whispered. I looked at him with my violet orbs and grinned softly at him.

" When I was a little girl, and Hisana was still around. I constantly told her, I wanted her kind of love, when I was older and met the right guy. Someone who, wasn't afraid to cry with me and hug me when, I really needed it" I always wanted my sisters love. Not Byakuya, but the love they had for each other. It wasn't a love, where they kissed every five-minutes. But, a love that was sweet and innocent.

Ichigo smiled down at me, and pulled into his side. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulder, causing a blush to cover my cheeks. " Well, have you found that guy yet?" he asked.

I smiled at his words. " I don't know, yet" I said softly, I didn't want to say that he was that guy; because that would be a little over the edge for the first day. " I'll find out, sooner or later, right?"

Ichigo nodded and smiled at me softly. My eyes went to the front, where the sight of a clearing was. The stone walls were covered with the moon-light, and the mist from the water-fall blew gently in the air casting as slight fog on the rock clearing. Lanterns hung from the tree's and lite the darkness, when I saw the tiny cave in behind the tree's; I knew we were at the location.

Ichigo gaped at the sight, and blinked at the lanterns. " It's beautiful" he said in a soft voice that was filled with awe. I noticed the bright light from the lanterns in his eyes causing them to be brighter.

I pulled Ichigo into the clearing, only to have his eyes go to the water-fall where he saw a picture of him and I, on the water. He smiled at the sight, and looked down at me with his bright eyes causing my heart to flutter " Did you do this?" he asked.

I giggled softly " Sit down, I have something for you" I told him. I released his hands from mine, and walked into the forest quickly. When I saw my laptop and a projector in the small cave, I walked behind it and looked forward at the waterfall.

When my eyes looked at Ichigo, sitting on the stone, I smiled and clicked the mouse letting the slide play. I grabbed the bag and package that was next to my laptop, before walking over and sitting next to Ichigo.

As I sat next to him on the blanket, I looked over to see the bright smile on his lips as; the images of him and I, appeared on the water-fall.

Shaking my head from staring at his perfection, I looked at the water-fall to see the photo of him and the students. That was my favorite photo of him, he looked so natural and happy in it. But, I think seeing Ichigo with a little boy who, looked like him, since he was Kaien's son, was heart warming.

_I know your insides are feeling so hollow_

_And it's a hard pill for you to swallow, yeah_

_But if I fall for you, I'll never recover_

_If I fall for you, I'll never be the same_

When the sight of video's from Shakespeare movies came on, and the music began to play. I thought of all the things, I put Ichigo through since we started to get to know each other.

I brought, him on a emotional roller-coaster ride. With me, I guess, leading him on and then telling him that I wasn't interesting. Then, there was the fact that, I kept leaving him in the dark and putting down all his romantic gestures.

_I really wanna love somebody_

_I really wanna dance the night away_

_I know we're only half way there_

_But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way_

_I really wanna touch somebody_

_I think about you every single day_

_I know we're only half way there_

_But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way_

Ichigo did take me all the way. He was making me live my life, and fight. Something, I thought I would never be able to do. If I never met him, then, I would never be were I am today. Sitting here, and showing my emotions that; I usually hide from the world and from everybody I know.

I turned to look at him again. He was like a fine piece of art, that I wanted to own and hold in my hands. _" Ichigo... I-I think, I'm falling in love with you" _ I thought in my head. I truly, believe I am in love with the surgeon. Not for his looks or his smile.

_But, for what he did to me. _

_You're such a hard act for me to follow_

_Love me today, don't leave me tomorrow, yeah_

_But if I fall for you, I'll never recover_

_If I fall for you, I'll never be the same _

I thought of all the pain and sorrow, that I had in my life. With my parents dying and only having my sister and Byakuya. Then my sister dying of breast cancer. Before I knew it, I was in the hospital with leukemia. After all the treatments and doctors, I met Grimmejow and he broke my heart, in some way.

I was and am, a broken women. Most men, would run-away from someone like me and think that, I was too much work. Which was right. I protect my heart with nothing but a steel wall and guns that killed anyone that got merely, a meter to the wall.

But, Ichigo was the only one to dodge the bullets and think: _She is worth, the time and the effort. _He was the only one, not even Grimmejow tried. But he did.

Ichigo was the one to, destroy my barrier and to get to my heart. He stayed and mended it together, to be in it.

For that, I fall in love with him.

_I really wanna love somebody_

_I really wanna dance the night away_

_I know we're only half way there_

_But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way_

_I really wanna touch somebody_

_I think about you every single day_

_I know we're only half way there_

_But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

He took the beating of my broken heart, and made it new. I do think about Ichigo, every single day since we truly met.

Who would've thought, that I would fall in love with my enemy. It's funny how our feelings and emotions, all move from one thing to another. From bullying to kissing and saying cute things to one other. That was something that, only happened in movies or on television. But, yet it happened to me and I'm loving every moment of it.

_I don't know where to start, I'm just a little lost_

_I wanna feel like we never gonna ever stop_

_I don't know what to do, I'm right in front of you_

_Asking you to stay, you should stay, stay with me tonight, yeah_

Ichigo looked over at me with his bright eyes, that were clouded with something that I hadn't seen in them before. They were filled with an emotion, just that one emotion. Nothing else.

I felt his hand cover mine on the blanket, and then the other rested on my chin. I felt a shiver go down my spine, at the action. I leaned forward softly, as our eyes filled with lush and love. This was something new, for both of us it seemed.

_I really wanna love somebody_

_I really wanna dance the night away_

_I know we're only half way there_

_But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way_

_I really wanna touch somebody_

_I think about you every single day_

_I know we're only half way there_

_But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

My lips part softly, as they touched his causing a spark to cover my heart. Eyes closed and lip to lip. His hand crept onto my cheek, pulling me closer to his lips causing our lips to move softly.

It wasn't rough or filled with pure lush. It was filled with love, and care.

Softly, I moved my lips on his and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. My fingers tangled in his orange locks, pulling my body closer to his. When, I felt him bite my lips softly; I allowed him in.

A blush covered my cheeks as our tongues danced together, in a soft movement. My heart raced, as I felt his other arm around around my waist and pull me closer. I've ever been kissed like this before, in my life.

_You can take me all the way, you can take me all the way, yeah._

As the song ended, so did the kiss. My lips were part, as I panted softly. My fore-head softly against pressed against his, and eyes melted with his amber suns. " Ichigo..." my voice trailed as I looked into his eyes. I loved his eyes, they managed to make me seem like the only girl in the world.

His thumb brushed my cheek softly causing warmth to cover my cold skin. " What is all this for?" he asked in a whisper. I closed my eyes and placed a hand on his wrist as he stroked my skin; with his thumb. I felt comfortable and relax with him. I never been like this, with a man ever. My brother, doesn't count since he is family.

I opened my eyes and looked into his amber eyes. " Ichigo..." I tried again. I bit my bottom lips softly and searched his honey eyes. " I've... fallin' in love with you" I whispered. My heart raced as, I pulled away from his touch. " I don't know, how and why. But, I know, I have" I wrapped my arms around myself and squeezed myself softly. " It all started, in that field and then it increased quickly. I can't stop thinking about you, and I can't be without you", I looked at the water-fall and noticed the pictures were still playing, like they were supposed to.

He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me onto his lap. I looked up at him only to have his lips crash onto mine. " I fall in love with you, a long time ago", he told me as the kiss broke.

I hugged his body softly and snuggled into his chest, as the sound of his beating heart entered my ears. " Here", I told him as my hands gripped the box next to us. I placed it into his hands, and watched as he looked out the box.

" What is it?" he asked as he shook the box, causing the item to bang against the box.

" Open it, and find out, Baka" I smiled. He didn't snap back at the name, but opened the box. With a hand he grabbed the item and pulled it out. The sight of a large brown leather book with golden vines over the front, was in my eyes. " It's a book of all you, Shakespeare quotes. So, you don't have to look through every book", my fingers brushed the leather softly.

Thankfully, a women that I knew from the hospital was married to a cover maker. That man's name was, Jūshirō Ukitake. I met him, when I was nine. He and his wife Unohana, were there because he had, stomach cancer. He was still around today, but I didn't know if, was going to be here for any longer. His cancer was back, and getting worse, but it didn't show.

Ichigo smiled at the book and opened the first page, to see a quote from Romeo and Juliet. " Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs" he whispered.

I looked into his eyes and sighed softly. " I love you, Ichigo" heart fluttered as I said those four words.

" I love you too, Rukia" he smiled before kissing me softly.

* * *

**Rukia 13 BleachBeliver- ** Thank you, so much for the review. I liked the idea of having a some-what lemon in this chapter, but I thought we still have a long way to go before anything sexual happens, so I left it out. For now, it is just kissing and hugging. It's the "cup-cake" stage if anything. Thank you, for pointing out that Rukia is weak also. I almost forgot about that. Well, tell me if this chapter is what you were hoping for the Friday scene.

**EmpressMinea- **Sorry but, no lemon yet. We still have a while till we get there. For Rukia's leukemia getting worse so quickly, it was just to show everyone that Ichigo is going to be there for her, all the time no matter her health. Also, the leukemia hasn't been really, involved with the story only mentioned and she is going to be going for treatment soon. That part will be a huge change in, the story for Ichigo and Rukia. Sorry, for the cockroach nick-name, it was just a name that I haven't seen used plus, it fit the situation because Rukia is suffering with leukemia but, she isn't dying even if the cancer hurts her over and over. For Sode, well, she is Rukia's companion and depends on her as well. Thank you for the Review, I loved all the questions. Tell me, how you found this one to be.

**Xsamxp- **When I saw your review, I was so happy cause it was long. All of them are, but yours was the longest. For the poem, I'm glad you noticed the message in it; some people just skip it and to get to the story, but the poem sets the mood for it all. I needed to bring Renji back because, he is Rukia's best-friend and he needed some major thing in her leukemia. It does make up the fact, he did run at first when she told him. Byakuya being OOC was needed cause, this is a, possible, sad story and he needs to be with Rukia. I'm glad you liked his change in personality. Ha-ha for the women with the stick in the neck, I have no idea how the hell, she managed to do that. Some things in the hospital are, too hard to believe. I am done school, but I got a job and work now, so typing is being done later. I too, was happy when I got my laptop back. I cried and hugged it tightly, it's my baby and no data was lost, so I will be posting " Love of the Fight and the chapters of Hollow Moon 2" rather soon. I didn't do a lemon, because there will be a few changes in Ichigo and Rukia's relationship also, I thought it should wait a little while. Thank you for the review. Please, tell me what you though about this chapter and Rukia's plan.

Well guys, sorry for the chapter being late. It is the longest one, I've written for The Bucket List. Plus, I needed to make sure the flow was just right. I got a review on my messages, and I replied. I'm glad the reader told me, their review cause, it touched my heart and gave me the idea of having Rukia in the hospital in the beginning of the chapter. I hope to see, a review from that reader for chapter 14 because, I would love their feedback.

I have opened up at tumblr for the Bucket List. It is: blog/bleachlover2356

that's the page, follow and chat with me, if you would like. I posted a lot and already have 3 followers which is nice. The song in this chapter are there for, you guys to listen to.

Falling for you - Colbie Caillat

Somebody to Love- Maroon 5

Till next Monday, have a great week! Love Bleaclover2356


	15. Chapter 15

_Fire. _

_It dance's in the wind and flickers with light once fed; _

_My love is like a fire... _

_Place me in the breeze of your love and, shall dance with it on my sleeves_

_With a smile on my lips, and a spark in my eyes that will never fade. _

_That is the kind of fire that, I will display for you and for all you make me feel, _

_I will burn the world with the me, you helped me find and what you have found dancing in the darkness of my soul. Show them, the way you found my dancing fire._

_The way, you found me... in the darkness of my heart. _

_But... my love, there is something about my love you must know. _

_There is a possibliitly that it will fade some-day, if you don't feed me your love... _

_with your kind and tender touch... _

_lips as soft as silk, that heat my cold one's... _

_Your hands on my skin, and the way you whisper in my ear " You are my everything, and I shall never wish you gone"... _

_Make me feel all this, and my flame will continue to flicker and dance... _

_Never let me go._

_Don't give up your fight, once you have gotten me; because your fight as just begun. _

_Feed me, all that you have, till there is nothing left of you... _

_But, mostly my love.. _

_Never let, my fire turn to darkness... _

The smell of breakfast was in my nose, as I looked at the sizzling bacon and the eggs that sat on the stainless-steal oven. A yawn left my lips, causing me to cover my mouth with my wrist which was covered with a large blue blouse.

My wrist never left my face, as I inhaled the scent of the blouse. It smelt husky and spicy, like the owner. Just the thought of the sleeping man, upstairs in my bed-room made me blush deeply.

After the slide-show and returning Ichigo's books, we were both tired and went into the manor to sleep. I was going to give him my brothers room, but that was Byakuya private chambers; in which I wasn't going to allow someone in without his permission. Therefore, I had Ichigo sleep in my room with me.

When I left the manor, when my brother left for his travels. I brought most of my clothing with me. Last night, I was too tired to actually get changed into my own pajamas's, so Ichigo gave me his blouse and slept in well, his boxers.

A happy sigh left my lips, as I thought of the surgeon in his boxers. It was something that every women, that met him, would day-dream about. Well, I did when I saw him in his boxers.

A warm feeling raised in my stomach at the thought, causing me to rub my legs. " Dammit", I hissed. I walked away from the stove and went to the sink which was farther to the right.

Turning the tap on, I allowed the cold water to run; before cupping my hands and letting it pool into my palms. My burning skin became cool, once again, when I splashed the water onto my face. I leaned over the sink and closed my eyes, letting all the thoughts of Ichigo and his boxers; play in mind and then disappear. Mind as well, get them out of my system now then later.

I could just picture his perfect tan legs, that were some-what hairy, which was to except since he is a man. My mouth watered, as I thought of his sculpted chest, with it's bumps of muscle. All eight bumped, were pressed against me in the night and when I awoke this morning. Man, did I want to run my hand down his chest. But, then there were his arms, that looked like they were strong enough to carry a death body with ease.

A shiver went down my spine, as I recalled waking up in his arms this morning. I remembered his soft snores in my ear, and his silk like lips that; I kissed before wiggling my way out of the bed to go make breakfast. The meal wasn't for me, since it was morning and I knew, that I couldn't keep it down. I was making breakfast for... my boyfriend.

Wow, it seemed so weird to think; I have a boyfriend again. I figured that, I would get another boyfriend after Grimmejow, but after I was told that my leukemia was back. I lost all hopes of getting another boyfriend, let alone, have him be the person who made my life hell back in High-school. Oh, the way our emotions play with us.

Warm arms wrapped around my waist, and a large body pulled me close to their owners. I smiled and placed a hand on the arms softly; rubbing them only to feel the texture of the blonde arm hairs. My body leaned into the chest, and my head tilted to the side exposing my neck by accident. Or not.

" What are you doing up?", was whispered into my ear. I looked over to meet two bright amber eyes, and messy orange locks. I chuckled at Ichigo, and rolled my eyes because of the obvious signs of me, making breakfast next to him. He could be dense, but then there were moments where he was so, dense.

I closed my eyes when, I felt him kiss my neck softly . "... Obviously, I'm making you breakfast" I told him weakly. The one major thing that, I learned last night; was that Ichigo's kiss made me weak and forget everything. It was like he was erasing my thoughts and worries, it was something that I enjoyed.

His silk lips trailed the curve of my neck, and to my jaw that he quickly passed. Finally, he lips were on mine. I felt a tingle in my lips as they moved softly against his. I turned around and wrapped my arms around, Ichigo's strong neck causing our bodies to press against each other. I felt his arms wrap my waist, as the kiss grew with passion and heat.

Our lips parted, and our tongues meant with a furious passion. I blushed heavily as, we pulled away. My eyes snapped out, only to see the sight of Ichigo's bare chest with its, mountains of tan skin and few scars that were on his flesh.

With a hand, I touched a scar that went across his abdomen. " W-What happened there?", I questioned. I too, had plenty of scars but that was from my battle with leukemia. All from surgery or spinal taps, if you looked at my arms close enough; you see several scars from needles. Some would this, that I prick myself for pleasure, but in all truth it was the way, I survived the cancer. Needle after needle, being poked into my arms.

He placed a hand over mine, and kissed my forehead softly. I wasn't going to the lack of affection, that was shown before all this. I loved the way, he held me and kissed me, like it was the last time he was going to see me.

Sometimes, there were time where he might never see me again. I learned that the hard way. The way he looked at me, was something which made me love, Ichigo more because he made it seem like every moment he had with me; was the last. Like a gem, that was found but everyone wanted. That gem, would be battered and beaten, but by the end of the day; it disappears and no one see's it again.

When you find something so, rare and different. You cherish every moment you have with it, until it is gone and all you can remember, is the time you had with that one rare and different item.

His fingers traced mine. I felt his hand grab mine, and raise it to his lips where he kissed my knuckle and looked at me with a bright smile. " When, I started High-school, I got into fights because of my hair. That scar is from, one of the fights. I tackled the guy in an alley, and got cut by the dumpsters having a piece of glass, peeking out from the rotting metal" he told me.

My eyes snapped to the scar, the story behind it was something that; I never expected from Ichigo. I thought, was just the pretty boy, in High-school. But, it turned out that he was, just a kid that had it bad like me. With fights and bullies, mocking you over the dumbiest things. He had the scars to prove it, I had the entries to prove it.

I went to speak but, my throat was clogged and I couldn't find my words. All, I could do was touch the scar and, picture the event of it's existence. Hearing Ichigo yelling for help, as he laid on the pavement holding his white shirt as, blood covered it. The boys on the ground, groaning in pain for their injuries. Just the thought, made me sad and sick. A person like, Ichigo never deserved something like that. " I never, knew you were bullied", I finally managed to say.

He sighed and moved backwards from me; until he was at the kitchen island with it's marble counter. I watched as he placed, his hand on the counter and leaned back slightly. " When you came to the school, all my bullies left and went to you. Their girl-friends and sisters, they would push you around. I was afraid, that if I didn't join them, that they would target me again", I was silent at his words.

All my years, of being pushed around and called a whore; was just to keep him safe. I leaned against the sink and stared at the floor, that seemed to be spinning from my dizzy-spell that had awakened from the news. _" That scar, is on his abdomen. If you didn't take the beating for him, how much longer until he got a cut, where it would matter the most. Like his heart, or through a rib. He would be dead, and you would've never fell in love with him", _I nodded at the voice in my head. It was all true, if it weren't for me there was a fair chance; Ichigo would've been killed ot something, close to being dead.

" It's okay", I told him. Ichigo snapped his head up at me. I smiled at the surprised expression on his face, with his raised brow and curious eyes. I knew he felt guilty for, what he had done back then, but that was the past. There was nothing, that could have changed it. " I'm glad you sent all those bullies after me. They made me, who I am today", I spoke. My bullying experience was something that, I hated, but it made me into a strong person who, fought with their all and never gave up.

He snapped his head up, causing his eyes to mix with mine. The sight of disbelief was in those, amber orbs which managed to make my heart flutter at their appearance. " Rukia...it's not-", he tired but, I stopped him with a hand.

" Don't say 'it's not okay'. In my eyes, there was a more dangerous risk with your bullying than mine. If you didn't bully me, then they would have kept at you. Who knows, where that would have landed you. Possibly in a grave, since that scar looks like it was a rather dangerous injury", I spoke. The dis-belief in Ichigo's eyes vanished at my concerns and reasons. I stepped forward, causing my body to be right in front of his. With my hands, I grabbed his and laced my fingers through his large ones. " Even if, I had to go through bullying for your survival and safety...then, so be it", I smiled softly at him.

I closed my eyes, when the feeling of one of his large palms leaving one of my small ones; and going to my cheek. Leaning into his warmth, I smiled softly as the cold of my skin vanished and the warmth took control. Ichigo leaned down to my lips, causing his breath to cover my skin. " What isn't perfect about you?" he whispered.

I smirked softly and opened my eyes to meet his amber ones. " A lot" I answered. There was plenty of things, that weren't perfect about me. For instance, my ability to keep things to myself and hide things from people. That was one of my major flaws. Also, there was the fact that, I allowed my emotions to get the better of me, like now.

Ichigo smirked at my answer and sighed softly. " We all have flaws, Rukia" he told me.

I chuckled softly and pushed myself away from him. I turned to the stove and continued to cook his breakfast, with a smile on my lips. " If we all have flaws, then, why would ask such a question?", I snickered. I didn't really understand, why he would ask a question that he knew the answer to. It didn't really seem to make sense to me, but what do I know?

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders and sighed softly as he looked over at me. I felt the heat of his amber eyes, on my back causing me to look over at him. " Well, most women would make it seem like, they are perfect and don't have flaws, just to make it seem as though the men can't live without them", he explained. I raised a brow at his words and shook my head softly. Was he really, saying that I was like any other woman on the planet? How out of context. I will never be or act, like a 'regular' women. I enjoyed being different and, standing out. That was, what made my life fun and not boring.

Grabbing a plate, I placed the breakfast upon the glass. The smell of bacon, eggs and toast was fresh in the air, as I walked over to Ichigo. When, I was in front of him, I leaned over the counter and placed the dish down near a seat. " There something you should know about me, Ichigo".

He looked at me with curiosity, before heading over to the leather stool for his meal. I watched as he sat down, on the stool. He leaned forward, to listen to what I was about to say. " I am not an ordinary women. I never was and I will never be one, I never liked the idea of being ordinary. Even as a child, I was the one who was different than the others", it was true. When I was kid, and my father brought me to the park; I wasn't the child in the sand-box or on the play-ground, but the one on the ground looking at the beauty. Sometimes, my parents would question if, I was mentally ill, but Hisana just told them that I was different and didn't want to be like the other children in the world.

For once in my sisters life, she was right about one thing about me. I never wanted to be normal. I wanted to be, different. Something, that was hard to find and hold up on, especially with the crime and pain in today's society. " My flaws are something, that makes me, me. I would never tell you, that I am perfect, because the whole world rushes to be perfect. Why doesn't anyone want imperfect. Last I recall, a diamond is imperfect in the beginning when it is coal. But, over time it becomes this precious gem that is worthy more than dreams".

He was silent at my words. I watched as he played with his food, with the fork that was place next to his plate. " Well, Rukia..." he trailed off as he looked at the food that he moved around slightly. When he looked up, my eyes connected with his " You are definitely, one of those imperfect gems and I would never want you any different", his voice was husky and mysterious. Just the tone of his voice, made me blush on the inside but smile on the outside.

I went back to the stove, and began to clean-up my mess. " Good, because I am not changing for you... even if, you were the last man on earth", if he couldn't love me for being me, then, he didn't truly love me in the first place.

" I never said, I wanted you to change. Who would want something, so different to change?", I mentally smirked at the comment. Even today, he used that saying of his. Sometimes, I would sit and think about his saying. Was it all true? Would the world want me, to change because of my difference? Was that the reason, why I have leukemia?

So many questions, that were never going to be put to rest by an answer. Shame. " I suppose not" I told him. In truth, I would never know the answer to that question. I never, really, wanted the answer to the question, either.

The room went silent, the only sound was from Ichigo eating and myself cleaning. It wasn't something, that was uncomfortable. It was comfortable, like I was in Ichigo's arms again.

**RING!**

**RING!**

**RING! **

I blinked when, I heard my phone ranging from the bedroom. Was it that loud?

I looked over at Ichigo, and then to the stair-case where my phone was calling me to travel. I sighed and sat the disk-towel down on the counter, before walking over to Ichigo and kissing his cheek softly. " I'll be right back", I whispered as he looked over at me with a devilish spark in his amber's eyes.

He smiled as I walked towards the metal stair-case, that lead to the bedrooms. My eyes looked at the white walls of the manor. Looking over the railing, I saw the living room, with it's cherry-wood floors and perfectly white carpet.

On the white carpet rested a glass table with silver bars, that twisted and bend into beautiful design's. The Kuchiki manor, was something that seemed so, new and perfect. With it's white furniture and walls. The reason why, my brother choose white for the manor, was because it made the rooms look bigger than they were. That and the fact, it made everything pop.

The sun poured into the hallway, that was at the top of the stairs. My violet orbs, looked out the large window, that framed the perfect sight of Karakura town in the distance. Seeing the town so, small and in the distance, really made the manor seem like a palace. The manor was the castle, and the town was where all the subjects lived.

I chuckled at the idea and rolled my eyes, at myself. Sometimes, I wondered where I got my idea's. Perhaps, from my mother or father, or was it was difference peeking out from the shadows.

Oak door upon door, filled the hallways. Four rooms in total, two of them were bathrooms and two were bed-rooms. One mine and the other my brothers. The guest quarters, were away from the house, near the water-fall somewhere. Byakuya placed it there, so the guest had the best view of the water-fall rushing over the rocks and flooding the bottom. Then there was the stars. that you could clearly see, from the top of the falls. It was almost as though, it was the last slice of peace in the world.

My feet took me to the last room, on the left. The feel of the golden knob in my hand, ran through my mind causing my eyes to flutter close, as I opened the room.

Opening my eyes, I saw the sight of the dark room. The bed's scattered sheets that were, tangled and wrinkled as they sat on the mattress, waiting for me to make the bed. On the floor were my clothes, that I discarded when I went to sleep. I noticed, Ichigo's shirt and socks on the floor.

" If someone saw this, they would think we had sex", I muttered to myself as I walked over to the night-stand, where my phone was still ringing.

**RING!** The phone blurred in the air. I slide my thumb across the screen, causing the ringing to end. Placing the phone to my ear, I examined the room with the tattered clothing and the darkness. " Ohayo, this is Kuchiki Rukia speaking" I spoke into the phone.

The sound of people in the back-ground, filled my ears before the person spoke. " Ohayo, Kuchiki-san", a cheerful voice spoke in my ear. I groaned and placed the phone away from my ear, only to hear the person loud and clear.

My eyes narrowed at the phone, before I placed it to my ear again. " Who is this?", I asked. Not many people knew my cellphone number. The few that had it was, Rangiku, Nemu, Kaien, Uryuu, Orhime, Karin, Yuzu, Renji, Tatsuki, Ichigo and Byakuya. If it were one, of them I would have seen their name and number on my screen; and not the word 'Unknown'.

A sigh left the person lips as, they listened to my voice. " Kuchiki-san, this is Mashiro from the Cancer Hospital", I froze when I heard the name and where. Did she get my results back from the test's? Was it something that, was worse than I thought or Uryuu thought?

Sea's of questions came to mind, when I heard Mashiro's name. I was worried that, there was something worse than I thought, wrong with me. Perhaps my leukemia, was worse than before. My heart pounded, as I thought of the results of the test and what they must say. " Ah, yes, Mashiro. Is something wrong?" I asked.

The women sighed through the phone, as she looked around the hospital with her brown orbs. I heard the sound of a file ruffling and sheets shuffling. I bit my bottom lip, as I thought of what she was about to say. There was so many things, that could be wrong. Like my leukemia's not being able to fight, perhaps, the cancer had spread some-where I didn't know... like heart or brain. So many, possibilities and all of them, I didn't want to hear.

The mattress bounced, as I sat upon it waiting to hear the news. The constant sound of papers, files and people filled my ears; as I waited. Each sound seemed to make my worry increase. " Kuchiki-san... we got your lab test back, last night" she told me, finally.

I held my breath for her to continue. So, it is something that involves my lab testes and blood. Great, it was going to be bad news. " It seems as though, your leukemia as gone un-noticed for several months. I don't see how, it was missed since you have monthly exams at the hospital".

My brows crunched in confusion. What was she saying? " W-What are you saying, Kuna-san?" my voice dripped of fear for, what I have learned. Was she saying, that my leukemia has been here for a while now, and that it was notice when, it got to the stage of notice. That's impossible, Uryuu would have gotten the sign in his blood testes, he did every month for me.

" Kuchiki-san, you've had leukemia for quiet awhile now. Ishida-kun, probably didn't see it in your blood, because the cells were so limited and it is usual for a normal-being to have a few, mutated cells, so he saw passed it", she explained. I felt tears in my eyes, as I thought of how bad I must be. It would explain, why Renji and everyone else always, said ' You're really, that bad, huh?'. It all made sense, now.

I wiped the tears away, from my eyes and closed them softly as I bowed my head. This was something, that I didn't want to hear. I didn't want to hear that, my leukemia was here for longer than now. I never noticed it, till recent. Fuck... Rukia, why didn't you notice this sooner? " K-Kuna-san... it is too, late for the treatments?", that was the main concern in my heart.

Was my fighting for be something, that is going to help be survive? Did my fighting make it all worse than, it truly was? " The treatments, should work. It's going to have to be stronger, since your leukemia has slowly grown. If anything, we need to move your surgery dates again; to a sooner date", a weight seemed to lift off my chest.

It wasn't too, late. " But, I advise you to bring someone that will take-care of you, while you are in the hospital. The treatments will be stronger, and you won't be yourself for a few days. Also, there is a great risk in this surgery, and I want you to know that... it might kill you, if it doesn't go right". I knew the risk before. When I was child, my brother always told me that there was a possibilities, I wouldn't make it, but I always took the risk. Now that it was my turn to make the decision, I wasn't going to turn back.

A sigh left my lips as, I thought of the man down-stairs. When would I tell him? Soon? Later? There was one thing that, I was certain about when it came to Ichigo. I have to tell him, and that the risk of losing him. He needed to hear it from me, and not from someone who he didn't really know. " I'm a risk taker, Kuna-san. I have been one since, I was a child and fought this when I was nine. I may be older, but I still take risk. If this surgery, is a possibly way to end my cancer, then... I will take the risk of death".

Mashrio smiled through the phone, for my words, almost like she expected them from me. " Excellent. I already set the date, it's next month on the 16th. Enjoy the rest of your day, Kuchiki-san", with that she hung up the phone.

I bowed my head, as I ended the call. My eyes looked at the screen, with the photo of Sode and I, in the front. What was I going to do, if I do die? What was going to happen to Sode? My job? My brother? Karin and Yuzu? They would be crushed, if they heard I was dead. Both teens, were like sisters to me. Rangiku and Nemu? Two women who were both, my best-friends. Renji, knew the risks of leukemia and would understand the most, out of everyone I knew. Kaien, he was a different story.

Knowing the Shiba, he would visit my grave everyday and place flowers. He was my second brother, I looked up to him and love him like one. Kaien would be the worse, if I died. Knowing how he took, his parents death... I knew how he was going to take mine. Hard.

Uryuu would feel guilty, because he didn't see my leukemia earlier and just saw passed it. He would think he wasn't a good doctor, and didn't deserve to live. Both things, were a lie. He deserved to live and be happy; he had his family and his whole life a head of him. Uryuu is a great doctor, just because he missed one little cell or more, didn't mean he wasn't a good doctor.

Tatsuki. Well there isn't much to say, about the women. She was a close-friend. There was a possibility that, she would block herself out for a little while. When, she was done mourning she would, be the same women again. That was just a guess.

Then there was my brother. What would he do? When, Hisana died he blocked the emotions and acted like it was going to be okay. I knew that was only, because of my presence and he needed to be strong for me. What would he do when, there is nothing and nobody to be strong for? I still remember, when I was little and I walked into his room when it was stormy. I had a night-mare and needed him. When, I entered the room, I saw him sobbing for Hisana. Then he noticed my shadow and wiped his tears. That night, he held me close and slept with me in his arms. Byakuya, would be the worse in my eyes. Worse than, Kaien. Worse than... Ichigo.

I shook my head at the thought of leaving, Ichigo like that. He would be just like Kaien, even Byakuya. I didn't want him to be like that, he had so much to live for. " What will, I do? " I whispered to myself. He would blame his degree, because he didn't see it sooner. If anything, he would hate all those people who knew about it, and didn't tell him. Then there was the fact, he would be mentally and emotionally destroyed by the news. Oh, Ichigo...

* * *

After Ichigo had breakfast, he drove me home. Thankfully, I got all my things from the manor, before leaving. The drive was filled with chatting and friendly jokes, that seemed to lighten my heart for the news that Mashiro gave me; and all the thoughts I had for, if I did die in surgery.

I walked to my front door, with Ichigo behind me. When I heard the click of the door, unlocking I sighed and opened the door, only to hear Sode. " MEEEEOOOOOW!", she cried. I narrowed my eyes at the white cat, and the mess she had of the apartment.

My papers were on the ground, and pillows on the floor. When I noticed, that she chewed up my pill bottle, I looked at her with wide eyes. " S-Sode, you didn't eat those, did you?", my voice was filled with panic for the moment. If she had, there was a chance, as very high chance, that she would die. The pills were to, slow down all your systems to stop the cancer from growing.

Ichigo was silence when, I tackled the cat and pulled her jaws a apart to look into her mouth. Sode squirmed and wiggled trying to get, but I held her between my thighs. She wasn't going to get away with this. " Meeew!", she screamed as I looked down her throat. The sight of nothing, filled my eyes causing me to look over at the pill bottle.

" Ichigo, tell me, if there are pills over there, that are spilled" I told him. If they weren't there, then she ate them, if they were then I was going to have to get new ones from Mashiro.

He walked over and looked at the counter. " They're all here", he told me. I sighed and released Sode from my hold. She scurried away, when she turned and hissed at me with hate; I rolled my eyes.

" That's what, you get for chewing on my pills!", I shouted at her. She narrowed her purple orbs at me, and her ears went back at my words. " What? It's the truth", I snickered. Sode growled at me slightly and walked away with her tail high in the air.

Ichigo chuckled at the sight of Sode leaving the room, with her head high in the air and tail straight. Most people would think, I was crazy for talking to a cat, but Sode was a cat that acted like a human. She was just weird." Really? You argue with your cat", he laughed.

I shot a glare at the surgeon and shook my head. " Sode, is weird. She acts like a human, and does things that normal cats don't" I told him, but he raised a brow at my reason. I know, it isn't an excuse for me, talking to a cat but; he needed to understand that Sode was a hand full.

" What-ever, Midget" he snorted from the kitchen. I narrowed my eyes at the Ichigo for the name, and stood from the floor. I began to pick up the sheets, of papers and noticed something about them all.

I blinked when, I read the first one: _Kuchiki Rukia. Nine years old and suffering of the worse type of leukemia..._

When I noticed, it was from my leukemia book I looked over at Ichigo as he started to pick up sheets. "...Uh, Ichigo you don't have to pick those up" I told him. I grabbed the sheets in his hands and shoved them in with the others.

I didn't want him to find out, because of Sode. Especially, while helping me clean-up my apartment. That would, be terrible. " Rukia, it's nothing. I can help", he told me but I glared at him.

" No, Strawberry-chan. It's my pet's mess, and I have to take care of it, myself for...responsibility purposes" I smiled at him. He scowled at the name, and sat on the couch letting me clean up, Sode's mess.

I whispered curses, as I grabbed the papers and shoved them back into their orange folder. " I'm going to kill, that cat" I mumbled. I placed the folder on top of the fridge, and went to cleaning the rest of Sode's mess.

When I got the papers, put away there was the pills that needed to be placed into a bag, so she wouldn't get into them again. I looked at the tiny white pills, as I placed them into the plastic bag. Did I really needed to get a whole new bottle? Maybe. Probably not.

Looking around the apartment, I looked for any other things that needed to be cleaned, thanks to Sode. When I saw nothing, I poured Sode's food into her dish and she came running to the food. I narrowed my eyes at her, as she ate. The only reason, why she made a mess was because, I wasn't here first thing in the morning to feed her, like she expected.

" Stop glaring at the cat, would ya', shrimp" I snapped out of my glare and looked over at Ichigo with my violet orbs. Really? Shrimp? When was he going to be done, with the nick-names?

I walked over to him, and gripped a pillow in my hands as, I glared daggers at the surgeon. " When are you going to stop with the nick-names, that insult my height?", my voice was flat as I asked.

Ichigo looked over at me, and smirked at the pillow. " I'm not going to stop, and there is nothing you can do about it, Sardine" he chuckled before turning his view away from me. I chuckled to myself, at his move and shook my head.

" Wrong move, Strawberry-baka" I evilly smiled. He looked over at me, just as I slammed the pillow into his face. " There is always, the option of beating you out of the names" I smiled at the idea. For some reason, I always enjoyed using power for what, I wanted. It never failed with me, since I had so much power for a women.

" Rukia!", his yell was muffled as, the pillow impacted his face once again. When a large hand gripped me wrist softly, I froze and looked at Ichigo as he smiled up at me. His smile wasn't the same, as before. It was filled with evil and playfulness. What did, I get myself into? " Oh, so you want to play like that? Fine, by me" I watched as his eyes flickered with joy.

" W-What are you-", I squealed in surprise when a pillow, smacked my face. I stumbled backwards slightly, and looked over at the surgeon with a pillow in his hands. A smile covered my lips, as I looked him. " You're going down, Koursaki Ichigo", he smirked at me and rolled his amber's orbs. Was he mocking me, and the way I stumbled back? Never, under-estimate, Kuchiki Rukia!

He spun the pillow in the air slightly and chuckled to him, as he stood from the couch. " Yeah, like that is going to happen", his voice mocked me to the extreme. I walked over and looked up at him, when he noticed my presence he went to hit me, but I dodged.

With a quick hand, the pillow slammed up into Ichigo's chin causing him to grunt. A giggle left my lips, as he stumbled back and fall onto the couch. " It just happened", I snickered.

He looked up at me and smirked at my words. " It's not over princess", he snorted before hitting me again. I giggled softly at the pillow and launched at him with a quick hop.

When I felt my pillow pulled out of my hands, I looked up to see that they were in his hands. " Shit", I whispered in fear. I knew he was going to hit me, with my own weapon; so I embraced myself for the impact.

With my eyes closed, I waited and waited, but it never came. I opened my eyes only to see, that Ichigo dropped the pillows on the ground. A blush covered my cheeks, when he placed his hands on my thighs pulling me closer to him. I leaned down and pressed my forehead against his, causing our eyes to mix in wonder.

My body leaned down to his, and our lips captured one another. It was innocent and sweet, at first but soon turned into a battle; which I was losing. One of my delicate hands went to his orange locks, tangling my fingers in his silky texture.

I pulled away softly and looked into his lush filled eyes. My rose red lips ached for his and body wanted more. I wasn't going to give more, it was too soon and I was still weak from the hospital. Ichigo knew that, better than me.

He placed a warmth hand on my cheek as, his amber orbs examined my face and the features that shimmered in his eyes. Everything went so, fast. First, I was sitting on Ichigo's lap and then, I was on my back with Ichigo over top of me, kissing me softly and with passion.

As our lips molded together, I leaned forward causing my body to get closer to his. The feel of his muscle on my chest, vibrated my mind and made my heart flutter. I wanted to touch them, feel each one under my fingers and know what they felt like. Craning my neck, I felt his skin under my finger tips and the soft movements of his jaw as he kissed me.

With our tongues dancing together, my mind went blank and thoughts of pure lust came into my mind. I thought of how, good it would be to have sex, since I haven't had sex in months; probably almost a year at most. Then, there was the passion, that would be exchanged between I and Ichigo. Just the thoughts, made my cheek perch with warmth and heart-beat fasten.

_" Bad, Rukia! You just got out of the hospital, you are weak and can't handle sex. No, sex!"_ I screamed to myself causing me to pull away from Ichigo. A pant left my lips,at the excitement that arouse in me. How did he manage to do this, so quickly? I was losing my control rather quickly, he managed to always make me lose control. " I-Ichigo" I said softly.

He grinned and sat down in silence. When I felt his finger move a strain of hair from my face, I looked up to see the blush on his cheeks. " I know, no sex" my heart stopped all of a sudden for his words. Did he read my mind? H-How did he know, that I was going to say that, we can't have sex? Damn, he was good.

He placed a hand on my cheek and looked over my body. " I know, you just got out of the hospital and you're not in your full strength. You need to take it easy, plus you need to heal" I was dumb-founded by his words. H-How...did he know?!

I kissed his forehead softly and looked into his eyes " Thank you for understanding, Ichigo" I whispered, he smiled and smirked at me.

" I'm a surgeon, I'm supposed to understand, Midget" I narrowed my eyes.

I grabbed the pillow from the floor and slapped the surgeon at the side of the head. " I'm not a, Midget!" I shouted loudly, causing him to laugh.

The first bit of I and Ichigo's relationship, was something that most would think would end in weeks. But, with us; it last till the end of time. We were playful and romance, we understood one another needs and wants. It was perfect, just like my sisters relationship that I envied, when I was younger.

Love like ours, was hard to find. I never thought, I was going to find it actually, but I managed to. My love for Ichigo, was something that I, was going to miss the most. Just the way, he made me laugh and kissed me with every bit of passion he held in his body. I was going to miss, that pillow fights and the endless embraces we had... but mostly, I was going to miss him, in general.

* * *

**EmpressMinea-** I am glad that you loved the firefly, poem it took me a while to think of it but; it came to mind. I never thought it would be like another anime couple, which one? Of course, I'll make you a poem, it would be a pleasure. I'm glad the serenade was to you liking, I wanted the chapter to move slowly and then increase in Ichiruki love. For Sode, she was in there just a little bit because; she is a sub-character and she was in this chapter. Sode was a little trouble-maker in my eyes, in this chapter. For the whole Rukia and Karin, scene. That will be happening a lot, it's kind of how their relationship will be. Tiny bickers about their romances, and then there is Yuzu with her want to know everything about her twin and the handsome Toushiro Histuagayu. I hope chapter 15 was good, tell me what you think. Thank you, for reviewing.

**Xsamxp- **Damn, your review was long. But, I loved the length, it gives me confidence when I see long reviews, short ones too. I am thrilled you loved chapter 14 it was, the big chapter with all the romance and partnering. When writing the cliche parts, I found that I could see it appearing in front of me. Also, I had to listen to the songs in the chapter, over and over just to get the detail perfect and then write in with enough perfection. Now, I have both songs stuck in my head for it, but it was worth it. I find in Bleach, that Ichigo's dense mind can be a little much; so I made to it that he wasn't so, dense because he does have a major job in the medical field. For the length, I was pretty pumped as well, I love to write long chapters because it has, tones of details and meanings to the story. I'm also happy, that you thought seeing the week was worth it, because it was a hard decision on my end. It was either make everyone wait, or just get to the love in The Bucket list. The scene in the hospital was for that purpose, actually. I loved the scene in Bleach with Ichigo and Rukia, when they brought up the topic of Masaki; sadly I thought Kubo was going to make it more into the anime, but it never happened. It was a one time thing, I suppose. Even in the manga. I was rather shocked when I heard, you loved Maroon 5 and thought the song fit, cause the first time I heard "Love Somebody", I just thought of Ichiruki and all they have been through. Thank you for the review, please tell me what you thought of this chapter.

**Star fire girl 788-** I am thrilled you loved Chapter 14, I really was hoping that it was the one chapter that was the best, so far. For the quote made my Mashiro " A man's heart is reflected in his eyes", that is my favorite quote in romance, also in Bleach Kubo says " he isn't telling, who Ichigo is going to be with", so I look at his eyes when it comes to Orhime and Rukia. So far, it is totally Rukia! Well, that might be my fan-girl side just peaking out. You will be seeing a lot of Mashiro, since Rukia's cancer battle is important to the story. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of this chapter.

**Rukia 13 BleachBeliver- **I'm glad, I passed you expectation in chapter 14; it was rather important to meet everyone's thought on the chapter. I should be the one thanking you for the suggestion, because it brought Rukia's weakness to mind. I was going to have a lemon in chapter 14, but then I remembered that Rukia just got out of the hospital and isn't in her full strength. So, thank you very much for the suggestion and the review, tell me what you thought of this chapter.

**zitag-** Thank you for the compliment on the chapter, it made my day better since it was going so terribly. Tell me, what you thought of this chapter, if you're still speechless.

**teshichan- **I was relieved when, they both confused. I was tired of holding it in. I just wanted to tell everyone, and have the kissing begin, but I had to wait a little bit, which was good. Well, with a tough guy like Ichigo you need a little serenading, since he does help people and he tried getting Rukia but was rejected each time. I thought he needed a lot more effort, than waiting in his room, blind-folding him and then dragging him to Kuchiki manor. Plus, it gave me a new experience with guitar moments and singing. The thoughts were to tie the song and the story together. I'm glad you agree for waiting in the lemon, because I thought that most fan's would just say " get to the lemon" and then, leave once they saw that it isn't going to happen yet. I wanted to have more sweet and fluff in The Bucket List, because the end may not be so, lovely. I'm not giving it up! Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of this chapter.

Well guys, sorry for the day late update. Work is keeping me busy, thank you all for the reviews for Chapter 14. I'm hoping this one, was good as well. I was so, glad that there was so many reviews last time for Chapter 14. Six is a new record for me, for one chapter! I hope to break that record, in this story later on, perhaps with number five on Rukia's list. Question for you all!

Where would you like to see Rukia and Ichigo next?

-Beach

-The kindergarten school

- some where else?

Tell me, I have idea's for a lot of them. Next Chapter will have some, romance with Karin and Rukia. Or, like they are now, bickering about sex and relationship. Get ready to laugh next chapter. Have a great week, Love Bleachlover2346


	16. Chapter 16

_In the night. _

_As the star cake the sky, my heart isn't in the thought of the bright lights in the sky, _

_but with the bright light, which covers me in warmth... _

_A star that shines the brightest in the sky, and on the planet... _

_You.._

_Instead of stars in the sky, I rather have you beside me in the dark. _

_Kissing me, like the cold night breeze which causes me to shiver with pleasure. _

_Your arms around my body, like the dark sky that is above us; filled with those tiny dots. _

_As the waves in the north and south, come calmly crashing onto the sandy shore, in the mist of night. I look at you, my love and think of the protection you give me with a single sight. _

_Your smile is my stars, brightening my darkest hours of night, _

_Kisses of warmth, that seem to scold the cold breeze of time,_

_Your arms around me, fixing my chilled skin and replacing the wounds with your own flesh. _

_You my love, are not my night... _

_But.. _

_The protector of me, in my own darkness; which I call night. _

A soft snore left my lips, as I turned onto my side in my bed. The sheet tangled over my body, and pillow plastering my hair in many directions. In the darkness of my eyes, I had a dream of my sister and parents. I could see them smiling at me, as I and Ichigo cuddled under the sun.

It was something, that I wished to see in my own eyes. I wanted my parents to meet, the man who swept their, different little girl, off her feet and made her feel even more special. But, I knew that was never going to happen.

My parents and sister being dead, meant that they would never meet Ichigo; even if I wished on a shooting star. Nothing was going to bring them back.

I groaned when, I felt Sode curled up at the foot of my bed; sleeping. My feet wiggled and got under her body, causing warmth to cover them quickly. I pulled the sheets over my body and snuggled into the pillow, with a peaceful look upon my face.

It looked at thought, there was no cancer that threatened my soul. No, worry of telling the man I love, that I was dying of a cancer that was hard to cure. Not a wound of bullying appeared on my lips or eyes, nor did the wounds of all my families deaths. I looked as though, there was nothing that damaged my lips. But, that peace was soon interrupted.

**RING!**

**RING!**

**RING!**

A growl awakened my throat, as I pulled the covered over my head; trying to block out the ringing of my cell-phone at my bed side. When the ringing continue, I narrowed my eyes in the darkness of my sheets. Someone had to ruin my good sleep!

I was tired, no exhausted. I went to bed at my usual time, of eight. But, the medication I was on was making, eight at night; feel like an all-nigher.

I sighed and tossed the blankets off my body, causing them to cover Sode who woke up from the blankets. " Mew", she yawned. I looked over at her quickly to see, she was stretching and purring as she felt her muscles waken from her slumber. Her ears flickered when she heard, my cell-phone ringing.

With a tired hand, I grabbed my phone and slide the screen causing the phone to become silent. " Good-Morning, this is Rukia" I yawned. I placed a hand on my mouth as, I heard the sound of a car on a road. Who could it be?

I pulled the phone away from my ear, and looked at the screen only to see the image of Ichigo upon it, and the timing upon the call. " Morning? Rukia-sama, you weren't sleeping still; were you?" the voice of a young women filled my ears.

I narrowed my eyes at the voice, and rubbed the sleep from them as well. " Karin, what the hell do you have your brothers phone?" I asked. I stood from my bed and began to walk to the kitchen. My eyes went to the stove, where it read: _12:50_. My eyes went wide at the sight, it was noon! What?! " I need to take a shower, make my bed, feed Sode and then laundry", I muttered to myself before groaning. I had a tone of things to do. Sleeping in was something, that I didn't have time for.

" Don't get grumpy with me. Ichi-nii, is driving at the moment and he isn't allowed on the phone", the teen spoke. I rolled my eyes and went back to my bedroom; where I began to make my bed.

Sode looked at me, as I flattened the sheets and fluffed the pillow; only to place it on the sheets. " Alright, true enough. So, why are you calling me?" I asked. My eyes looked over the made bed and then to the mirror. The sight of my appearance was in my eyes.

It had been about a weeks since, I got out of the hospital. Since that day, I have lost about 10 pounds, all from my thighs and stomach. I was thankful, that it wasn't from my chest or butt yet. I was small enough, in both sections. My skin was pale like the clouds, that covered the blue sky outside and my bruise on my wrist had vanished, like the one on my stomach; from Rangiku.

_" Kar-nee, just leave Rukia-sama alone; she is a busy women"_ I blinked, when I heard Yuzu in the car. So, there was Ichigo, Karin and Yuzu? What were they doing? Where were they going? Questions, questions, questions.

_" Yu, just sit down and let me, talk to Rukia-sama" _ Karin ordered her twin. I rolled my eyes at the teen, she was definitely the dominate one out of the two.

_" H-Hey! Karin, watch it, dammit!"_ a smile crossed my lips at the voice of Toushiro. No figure, of course he was there. He was always with Karin, I didn't know why because; he has a wonderful family. But, yet he stayed with the young women.

_" Enough!" _ was shouted causing the fighting to end. _" Karin, give me the phone" _I blushed at the husky voice as the phone was pasted, to the person. _" All you of you fucking, eight-teen! Grow up, and shut up! If you're going to fight, get out of my Benz and fight on the side-walk, dammit! Not in my car!" _ the person shouted in the silence.

I smiled at the voice, and went to the bathroom to start my shower. " Ichigo, I've never heard you take control before; like that" I told him. My hand gripped the tap and turned it to warm, causing the warm water to pour from the shower tap.

Ichigo's glared dropped from the teens, as he heard my voice and the shower running. " Well, someones up late. What happened to Ms. I-wake-up-early?" he mocked. I mentally slapped myself from telling him, that I usually wake-up at seven, which is true, but that was all changing now.

I began down the hall-way, to the kitchen with my pajamas's clinging to my body. " Easy, Strawberry. It called pills", I knew he was frowning at my words. Through out, our relationship, so two weeks. He had seen me, taking my cancer pills. Sometimes, when he was over and watching television with me, or when I was at work.

Ichigo never liked the idea, of me having to pop pills; to survive. But, he always said '_If they are the things that, are going to allow me to have you longer... then, I love them' _, he might have said he loved them. But, I knew him too, well. I could see passed the fake smile, he put on for me and the rest of the people we knew. I saw that he, knew that one day those tiny pills weren't going to do, anything and that he was going to lose me. Or so, he thought.

_" Ichi-nii... can we go? It's soo, hot out", _a groan left his lips at the voice of Yuzu in the back. I smirked and bent down to fill up, Sode's food bowl causing her to scurry around the corner from the bedroom. " Mew!" she sang happily as she ate.

" Yeah, yeah. Chill" Ichigo told Yuzu. " Anyways, be ready in ten minutes, sleepy the midget. We're going to the beach, today" he told me. I growled at the nick-name, even though, I and Ichigo were dating he was still calling me names. It just seemed to get worse, with time. Even at work, he made fun of my height and insulted me.

I was ready to yell at the surgeon, on the other line; but the thought of me telling him about my leukemia came into mind. How much longer will, I have his annoying comments about my height in my life? Was it worth, yelling about? No, not at all.

" I just woke up, Ichigo. It's going to take me, a while to get ready. Besides, my doctors told me not to even go near the water; because I could drown" I told him. I remembered when, I went to visit Mashiro for my new pills and she told me: _It maybe summer, and it may get hot. But you can't go into the water, you could have a dizzy spell or faint, causing yourself to drown. _It made sense, plus it was for safety reasons.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes at my excuse. " You can swim, right?" he asked.

A sigh left my lips, as I pinched the bridge of my nose. He didn't understand, there were chances that swimming was going to be dangerous for me. _Oh, Ichigo. Only if I told you, why I couldn't go in the water and swim with you... _I thought. I wanted to go to the beach, but it was too, dangerous for me. " I do, but it's ri-", he cut me off instantly.

" Listen, Rukia. I'm surgeon, and you are safe with me. Don't worry, you'll be fine. I'll watch over you, and be with you the whole time", he sounded confident in his words and his practice. " Just get dressed, and be ready. I'll be there in a few minutes", he demanded.

I sighed and shook my head. " Ichigo, I can't-" I tired but, the new sound of the phone beeping entered my ear. I narrowed my eyes, at the noise telling me that he hung-up on me.

I growled and glared at the screen. " Fucking, idiot strawberry" I hissed before placing my phone down on the kitchen counter. I sighed and looked at the room. There wasn't any dust on the ground, since I swept yesterday when I got home from the school. The couch was tidy, from my late night I looked at the orange book, that I kept on the kitchen table, my eyes water and filled with tears.

I hated that book, with a passion. It made me remember, all the people that I haven't told yet. I wanted to tell them, especially, Byakuya and Ichigo, but I couldn't bring myself to doing it. Why could I do it? Did I love them, too much? I mean, my brother knew what leukemia could do to me. Perhaps, that was it. I knew what, was going to happen to me, and I didn't want them to actually see me go through, it and be there through all my tough times.

I shook my head and wiped my tears away, and began to walk to the washroom. My feet clanged to the cool wood floor, and my pajamas's stuck to my body. My arms covered my chest, which was covered with my red silk V-neck pajama top. The sound of my matching shorts rubbing together, filled my ears.

I turned the corner, and walked into the hallway; that lead to the washroom, where my shower awaited me. The sight of the steam coming from the bathroom, made my skin chill with the thought of the warm water on my skin. I smiled at the idea, of the water on my skin and closed my eyes as, I entered the washroom.

The air was thick and warm, as I entered. Mist and steam covered my form, as I walked into the washroom. I opened my eyes, only to see the sight of the thick layer of fog in the room, from the hot water that poured in from the shower head. With a delicate hand, I closed the door, just in case Ichigo and the rest got here, when I was in the shower still.

My fingers gripped the shirt on my body and slowly lifted it, over my head making my chest exposed to the hot fog. Goosebumps formed on my pale skin, when the hot and cold temperatures, collided on my skin. I sighed and took off my short, allowing my body to be exposed completely.

I quickly stepped into the shower, causing the hot water to cover my goose-bump covered skin. As the water covered my petite chest, I grabbed the clip that sat on the ledge. My hands quickly clipped my hair back, with my bangs still in my face.

Gripping the strawberry shampoo, from the ledge; I sighed and looked at the rushing water coming from the shower head infront of me. The red soap pooled in my palms as, I squeezed the plastic bottle.

The fresh smell of strawberries filled the air, as I rubbed the soap over my pale body. My eyes looked over the white skin. There wasn't any bruise, since the pills seemed to fix that for me. Soap covered my small breast, causing me to stop and think for a second.

_" Since, I'm losing so much weight... how much longer till, my breast are gone? Will they leave? What will Ichigo say? Does he even think, I have good size breast? ... Well, he did date Orhime and she has a big chest! Oh dear, he must think I'm nothing. Look at them! They're so, tiny! Rukia, what are you going to do? You'll lose him, from your breast size. Yep, kiss your handsome surgeon good-"_ my thoughts were cut off quickly.

" Damn, I got here just in time" the husky voice caused my cheeks to heat up, in embarrassment. I looked towards the direction where the cold draft, was going through. My eyes went wide at the sight, of orange hair and a muscular chest covered in tanned skin. Ichigo!

" Ahhh!", I screamed. I covered myself with the light pink shower curtain, trying to hide myself from him. He looked over my face and then to my shoulders, down to my chest that was covered. " G-GET OUT!" I shouted but he smirked and gripped the curtain in my hands.

He leaned closer to me, till our lips met and my eyes fluttered shut at the touch. I felt his lips move softly against mine, causing me to lean closer into his lips. One of his large hands, went into my raven locks; messing it slightly and causing the pin to loosen from my locks. When I felt, his thumb brush my pale cheek causing the tiny water droplets to flatten; I blushed softly and deepened the kiss. I opened my petal lips, allowing him into my mouth. He didn't hesitate, and began to the soft battle of dominance.

A soft moan left my lips, when his lips traveled down my neck and to my shoulders. " I-Ichigo... come on, the girls are outside with Toushiro" I told him with a lush filled tone. I didn't want to stop, but it was needed since there were teens in the living-room; wanting to get to the beach.

Ichigo's lips continued down my shoulder and then back up to my lips. When he captured my lips once again, I felt my breath stutter at the motion. " They can wait", he whispered as he pulled away from my lips softly and then kissed them deeply once again.

My hands went to his shoulder, letting the curtain fall from my naked and wet body. I ended the kiss and pushed him away softly, before looking to the bathroom door that was closed. " N-No, they can't. Plus, we don't need Karin walking in with Toushiro now, do we?" I giggled softly. I watched as his face twisted at the thought, of his little sister walking in on him; when he was having sex.

" It might give her an idea", I snickered. I quickly closed the curtain and rinsed myself from the strawberry soap. " I'll be out in a minute, horny-strawberry" I teased.

Ichigo smirked at the name, and opened the pink curtain again causing me to jump at the action. " So what, if you make me horny? I'm your boyfriend, you should give me that effect don't you think", he told me. I narrowed my eyes at him and covered my chest and womanly area.

" As my boyfriend, I think you shouldn't be scaring me; when I'm the shower. I could slip and fall", I told him. He rolled his amber eyes and closed the curtains quickly before walking to the door. I listened to him foot steps, making sure he was leaving and not going to try, and scare the crap out of me, again.

With his hand on the knob, he looked back at the shower and smiled. " Hurry up, or I'll send Karin in, to get you" he snickered. I shook my head and turned off the shower, before grabbing a towel from the side. I wrapped the warm, soft and white towel around me before stepping out.

" I don't think, that will be needed" I told him with my nose in the air. I walked over to him, at the door, only to have one of his arms wrap around me and pull me close to him. I looked up, into his eyes to see the daring and lush filled emotion. " Ichigo, no" I said, causing him to pout. I knew he wanted sex, but I thought it wasn't the right time; since we have only been dating for a week and, there were teenagers in the house. We wouldn't want to, give them the idea of having sex.

A sigh left his perfect lips, as he looked at my wet skin. To me, his eyes looked hungry as though, he wanted to eat for lunch. " Awe, come on, Rukia. I want yo-" I glared at him softly. He shouldn't have said that, I knew he wanted me but, we just started dating and there were children in the house.

" In time, Ichigo. In time" I told him. I opened the door and the fog flood into the hallway, and the cold air covered my skin quickly. I stepped into the hallway and looked back at the surgeon, who wore a rather un-pleased look on his face. " It's only been a week it's still, too early for sex, Berry-kun" he groaned at my words and looked down my body with want in his orbs.

" Would it be considered rape, if I made you have sex with me; in your bedroom?" he asked quietly, so the teens wouldn't hear him. I rolled my eyes and looked over to the living room, to see Karin and Toushiro on the ground playing with Sode. Yuzu was looking through a magazine that was on the living room table.

When I looked over at the 25 year old, I narrowed my eyes. " It's not rape, if I like it" I whispered before dashing to my bedroom. I heard Ichigo chuckled and quickly follow, but I closed and locked the door, before he could get in. He wasn't going to get me, so soon. That was a true fact.

I sighed and dropped the towel from my body. I walked towards my dressed and pulled open my under-wear draw, to see the several panties and a few thongs that were for tights or tight clothing. I searched through the fabric, for my swim-suit.

I groaned when, I didn't see it in the dresser. Closing the draw, I opened the next only to find my swim-suit there. " Why is it there?", I asked myself in a whisper. I gripped the fabric in my hand, and looked at the top.

It was a bikini, the top was a soft lilac and tied in the back. In the middle of the breast, was a white bow made of silk. The trim was covered in white lace and slight silk under-neath.

I placed the top of the bikini on the dresser, before grabbing the bottoms that where lilac too. The rim was covered with white silk and there was a lace bows, at the sides. I bought the bikini with no one, other then, Rangiku. She told me: _" You can go swim in it, and it can be something for naughty time. Get it, for when you're going to go to the beach or for when, you want to dance for your Grimme-bear", _she said that before I dumped Grimmejow. Since then, I have never wore the bikini and, I never thought that I, really would.

I quickly dried the water off my body, and slide on the top. My hands quickly tied the strings at the back of my neck. Sliding on the bottoms, seemed rather different, since I never wear swim-suits, let alone a bikini.

Once the bikini was on my body, I looked in the mirror. The sight of my flat and toned stomach filled my eyes. Looking at myself with the bikini on, I found that it made my breast look bigger, cause they were pushed up from the extra padding. The bottoms showed my hip bones, that peaked out a little bit since; I was lossing so much weight from my leukemia.

I turned in the mirror, to see that my bottom was crafted with perfection from the bottoms. The swim-suit made me, look hot. Well, in my eyes at least. My eyes fixed on my back, where the sight of a faint scar was, from surgery.

I shook my glaze from the scar and pulled my bunny sweater onto, my shoulders. I looked at the baggy hood that covered my head, when placed on top of it. The white ears that flopped on top, and then the white soft material that covered my arms. I found the sweater, go down to my mid-thigh, which was perfect since I needed it to cover myself up.

I went to leave the room, but before leaving I grabbed my white sandals. As I entered the hallway, I felt eyes on me. Looking over to my right, I saw Ichigo leaned on the wall. His hands were shoved in his swim-trunk pockets.

My eyes went to the tanks. The way the tanks hung at his powerful hips, that held stamina; made his chest glow with his muscles. I noticed how the color red seemed to make, him more mysterious and sexy, even if it was just the swim-trunks. The trunks ended at his low thigh. He was mouth watering.

" Well, look at the cute bunny, that I caught" he whispered. In my thoughts of his appearance, I didn't notice that he wrapped his arms around me. I blushed when he kissed my cheek, and then my hair. It was the witty comments, and the loving gestures, that I loved most about Ichigo.

He could do the smallest things, and I would love them.

"Ichi-nii, stop eating Rukia-sama and let's go!" I mentally cheered for the voice owner. Ichigo released me from his arms and glared at his sister. " What? You can sleep-over here, for now on! I want to go to the beach! It's fucking hot as hell, I was to cool down!", I flinched at the tone Karin used with her brother. If that were me, when I was a teenager, and I spoke to Byakuya like that. Let's just say, there would be no Kuchiki Rukia, 23 years old and dying of leukemia. I would be already dead.

I followed Ichigo into the living room, where he took his keys from the kitchen table and glared at his sister with hatred. I know, he didn't hate Karin. He just hated the way she spoke to him. " Come, Yuzu, Toushiro and Rukia. Let's go to the beach. Karin can stay here, and watch Sode" he said causing the teen to narrow her eyes at him.

" Ichi-nii, you're taking me with you" she said. I looked down at the floor to see, Sode purring at Karin's feet. The cat seemed to love the teen and enjoyed her company. Maybe, it wasn't such a bad thing, if we left Karin at my apartment. I mean, she could take care of Sode. Do the laundry and clean a little bit more, even watch some television.

" Sode, seems to like you. That's good, since you're staying behind for the rude trait, you have developed lately" Ichigo growled. I looked at him and then to Yuzu who was smirking at her brothers behavior. It seemed like the two Koursaki's bumped heads, a lot, well that was what I thought.

I laid a hand on Ichigo's shoulder and looked at Karin. " It isn't fair, if we leave her here, Ichigo. Besides, someone needs to handle Toushiro in his swim-suit, right Karin?" I said. I was hoping to lighten the mood, since it was getting to angry for my liking. Besides, it was a hot summer day, and the teen was hot, sweating and annoyed, she was going to be rude.

" Not with that ad-" I pulled his head down to my level and whispered in his ear softly.

" If you bring her, we will have more alone time. I think Yuzu, would love to spend time with me, and think about it. You and me, just in a swim-suit", I whispered. I felt Ichigo grab my hand quickly. Under my finger tips, I felt his racing pulse for what I just whispered.

He looked at his sister and then to Toushiro, who was behind her in a T-shirt and his ice-blue swim-trunks. " Get in the Benz", he told the two. Karin squealed and jumped into the air, before bolting outside with the other two behind her. " Alone time, huh?"

I blushed and nodded before walking out the door, behind the teens. When I looked over my shoulder to see Ichigo, I noticed the slight bruise that was forming on my shoulder. Where'd that come from?

I stopped in the middle of the stairs, and pulled the hoodie over, revealing the bruise. The dark purple's and blue's echoed through my brain. I didn't know where, the bruise came from, but it looked like it was painful to receive. When a hand touched the bruise, I looked up to meet amber eyes filled with anger. " Rukia, what happened?" he asked as his strong fingers graced the bruise.

I chuckled and pulled the fabric, back over the damaged skin. " It's nothing-" I tried but he growled and narrowed his eyes at me. He knew better than, to listen to me. Probably because, he knew me well enough, to know that I didn't like having peoples pity. Especially, those I love.

" This isn't nothing. Tell me, who did this and where I can find them" he demanded. I narrowed my eyes at his voice and shook my head. For all I know, it could have been from him; startling me when, I was in the shower. My shoulder could have bumped into the wall, and now there was a bruise in place.

" Ichigo, if I say ' It's nothing', it is nothing. Just drop it" my voice was sharp and chilling at I spoke. Honestly, if someone did this to me, I would have kicked their ass and then killed them, slowly and painfully. Just him thinking that, I needed him to take care of my problems, was insulting. Very insulting! " I can handle myself, I don't need you to protect me", I told him.

Honestly, I didn't need his protection because there were things in the world that he couldn't protect me from. Like leukemia, the flu, herpes and whatnot. Theses things, were for me to fight and deal with, not him. Even today, he tried to fight all my battle, and push me through the victory flag; but those battle sometimes defeated him and left me to fight. There were times, either of us won. But, we held each other like we did win, because of the effort we gave the battle.

I pulled out his hold and continued down the stairs. As I came to the end of the stair-case, I felt the warm sunlight cover my skin. I peered up into the sky, only to see the large sun blaring down on the pavement and everything that was around. The sky was blue with only a few scattered clouds. Tree's blew slightly in the warm breeze, causing their leaves to ruffle and dance with beauty.

My eyes went to the Benz, which was on the black pavement. Walking over, I laid a hand on the black paint and looked at the three teens in the back, chatting to each other. I climbed into the car, and sat in the leather seat.

When Ichigo slid inside, he wore a scowl which annoyed me. I wish he would be happy for once, and not scowl like someone crashed his Benz in the Karakura river. " What's wrong with you, Ichi-nii?" I heard Yuzu ask. I looked over at Ichigo as he sighed and turned on the Benz.

" It's nothing, Yu" he told her. I smirked at his words and shook my head. He was using the saw line, I used just a second ago. But, there was a difference, I knew that Yuzu was going to fall for it and leave him alone with his misery.

The Benz came to life, and Ichigo reversed out of the parking lot. My eyes were out the window, as I looked at the tree's and the building we passed, as he drove through Karakura Town. I never really, thought of the town. I mean, who would when you've lived here for so long. Karakura Town was my home, or so it felt by now.

I remembered when, Byakuya and Hisana moved me here. But, from there we weren't really in the town. We were usually in the hospital for Hisana, or going to the doctor's. I didn't go to school in the town, besides High-school. Byakuya had me home-schooled from several years.

I thought it was because, Hisana was home and he needed someone there for her; just in case she fainted or had a dizzy-spell. Back then, we didn't have the maids or butlers, it was just the three of us in a house, that my brother bought. We were a normal family, it seemed, but the truth was hidden in the doctor's notes and the test, that my sister went through when she was alive.

We weren't a normal family, I don't even know if we could considered a family. I mean, I and Hisana's parents were dead. Byakuya was just Hisana's husband, and I was the sister that was nothing but a weight; in my eyes. Were we a family? Or were we just relations in a house, some bound by marriage and some by blood. I didn't know, I never really knew. I never really thought about it, since Byakuya was like a father to me and Hisana was like my mother, well I knew her.

If anything, we were a special family. A family that was made of broken people, who needed someone to understand and love. This family that we were, was something many never saw because it, really, didn't happen often. We were a mix and matched family.

Just thinking of the some-what family, my sister and bother crafted for me. I looked over at the driver, next to me. The scowl on his lips, made my heart sink and squirm. I hated it, when Ichigo scowled. He had the brightest smile, I've ever seen. Just he sight of the surgeon, made me think of something, that I wondered many times; but pushed aside for some reason. Maybe, because it was embarrassing to me. The question was: Would I and Ichigo have a mix and match family, or a full-family?

If we ever got married and decided on children. That was a long way to go. For all I know, we could break-up next week or when I tell him about my leukemia.

My eyes went dull, as I thought of my leukemia. I needed to tell him, before it was too late. I didn't want him to find out when, I was going to Tokyo. I wanted to at least have some time, till I had to go. I sighed and looked at the radio, that was turned on but the music wasn't in my ears, because I blocked it out to think.

Ichigo looked over at me, with his amber orbs and noticed that, I wasn't in the car but in a different world. I looked over at him, when I felt one of his hands cover mine. My eyes went to his hand and then to him. A smile covered my lips at the action, and laced my fingers through his softly.

" Ichi-nii, stop eye fucking, Rukia-sama and look at the road" a voice said causing me to look over. The sight of a rather annoyed Karin, was clear from the passengers seat. She looked like she was ready to kill her brother, which we all knew she wouldn't; because she loved him way too, much.

" Karin, why don't you go back to thinking about positions with Toushiro for later" I snickered. Karin blushed and hide her face from the world. If she didn't want her sister, to think that my words were true; she shouldn't blush and hide her face. It looked suspicious.

Yuzu looked at her twin and then to the blushing teenage boy next to her sister. " What positions were you think about, Kar-chan?" she asked with her innocent voice.

Ichigo smirked when, he heard Yuzu ask her such a question. We both knew that the sandy blonde teen, always wanted to know what was going on in her sisters life. Even if, there was something that was rather private.

Karin snapped her head towards her sister, with a bright blush painted on her cheeks. " I-I wasn't thinking that, Yuzu" she stuttered. I snorted at her stutter and sighed happily at the teens, attempt to prove her innocence. " C-Come on, Yuzu. Why would I think like that?"

Ichigo looked at his flushed sister and rolled his eyes. " I won't forget the time that, I heard you moaning in your room, and Toushiro was over. Yuzu, you were lucky to be at Mina's house for the night", I chuckled as I looked over at Karin. Her mouth was hanging with 'awe' and her cheeks looked like Renji's hair. It was rather hilarious to see. " They were really, going at it. It woke up, me, dad and mom. Even a few neighbors" he finished.

Yuzu was wide eyed at the news. She turned her head towards Karin and looked at Toushiro. " Was it good?" she asked. Karin went even more flushed and hid her face from her twin. " How long did you last, Toush-nii? I can call you 'nii-sama' now, right? Since you're going to be my brother-in-law, since you're rocking Karin's house; already", Yuzu asked without a blush.

Wow, she really didn't care for the subject of sex. Never thought it would be her, I always thought it would be Karin who wouldn't care to speak about sex. I was wrong, oh well. " Yuzu, we haven't done that", Karin told her twin with her blush. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window, to see the tree's breaking and the sight of the ocean peeking out.

The sunshine, shimmered on my cheeks as I smiled at the sigth of the large ocean. My eyes locked onto the shimmer of the sunlight on the water, which was a beautiful blue. Upon the sandy shore were a few large rocks, that many climbed and leaped into the ocean. The sand was white and beautiful, as many people laid upon it with their loved ones. It was a breath taking sight.

When Ichigo got to the parking lot, he barked the Benz and looked over at his sisters and Toushiro. " Alright, we're here, but I don't want to hear any rumors of you two in the tree's having sex, now" he teased Karin. I snickered when the girl growled with anger at her brother and crawled over Toushiro's lap to the door.

**SLAM! **when the Benz door. I looked over only to see, Karin grabbing the things from the trunk and then stomping towards the sand. I looked over at Ichigo and shook my head " We all knows, she thinking about it" I told him in a soft voice.

Toushiro sighed and stepped out, I heard him mumbled to us. " I'll get her, to clam down" and closed the door. I looked out the wind-shield to see Karin on the beach putting all the equipment out with anger. She was literally angry.

Toushiro walked towards the fuming girl. His white hair ruffled as a breeze came his way, and graced his tanned skin. " Karin!" he shouted as he came closer to the women. She didn't look over at him, but kept setting up the equipment. " Karin!" he yelled louder, as he heard her cursing.

I looked at Ichigo and then to the wind-shield. I wondered what, he was thinking at the sight. Did he think that Toushiro, knew what to do? Perhaps, he thought the teen was going to get his ass handed to him, by his sister. With Karin, there were many possibilities.

Karin ignored the boy, yelling for her and continued with the equip. Toushiro glared and grabbed the beach ball from the basket. With a swift arm he launched it at the women, causing it to hit her directly in the head. " Oh shit " I laughed. Ichigo and Yuzu joined my laughter as, Karin turned around with a glare.

" Where you the one who hit me, with the beach ball, Toushiro?" she asked. The white haired teen, chuckled nervously and scratched his head in nervousness. Her grey eyes went to the ball in the sand, and then to her friend. She didn't like the fact that, he had hit her in the head. She was taught, that when hit you, hit back even harder or worse till the person is crying for help and pleading from mercy.

Toushiro backed away slowly as she looked at his with an evil eye. He knew Isshin's thoughts of hitting, very well. A little too, well. Perhaps, it wasn't such a good thing to always be around the Koursaki house-hold when, you are a male from the outside. By the five week of him going to the house, with Karin. He was welcomed like Ichigo, once was. With a surprised attack. At first he didn't want to hit the old man, so he dodged. Then Karin told him, if he didn't start hitting her father; she was going to start hitting hurting him when they were alone. All in all, Toushiro Histugayu knew what, the Koursaki girl could do with her hands.

I still remember walking into the classroom, only to hear from Momo; that her precious brother had bruise on him from a girl who was his best friend. I knew it was Karin, right away, because Momo giggled at the thought of the teen kicking her younger brothers ass. Usually he was the one, trying to fight others; since they made fun of him for his white hair and called him the old grandpa or pedo.

" Karin, don't " he glared as she marched over to him. When she was right in front of him, her hand went back to hit; be he grabbed it and shook his head. " I'm not hitting you if, you hit me" he told her. His aqua eyes sparked with fire as he looked into her grey ones.

" Toushiro..." she whispered as she looked into his eyes. I looked over at Ichigo and shook my head before gesturing towards the beach. I thought it was time, to let the teens have some personal time, so they could talk and let's hope, they tell each other how they felt.

I opened the car door, and stepped into the sun-shine. Ichigo followed and looked over at me, over the top of the Benz. " What are you going to do, Midget?" he asked. I looked over at him with a seductive look and winked at the surgeon. " Oh being naughty now, huh?" he smiled.

I turned quickly and scurried onto the beach, causing the hood of my sweater to flop around. My feet touched the warm sand, and raddled through my thoughts. I didn't know, when the last time I was at the beach. Maybe, a three years or more. I know, I went with my parents, even my sister and Byakuya. Maybe, I went with Renji before, but I really didn't remember. Was that a bad thing?

With the ocean in my eyes, with the fluttering light on the surface; I blocked out the other people on the beach. I didn't want to forget this sight. How often, was I got to get to see the ocean like this?

I might be fighting to live, but there was going to be a huge amount of time, where I would only see the inside of the hospital. With it's large white walls, and the horrific smell of the ill. I wanted to soak in this sight, so when I was laying in my bed; I could close my eyes and remember the beach.

The sand so soft, warm and calming on my feet. Many people walking around with smiles on their lips, as they enjoyed their day away from the city. The sweet smell of the salty sea, was in my nose as I looked at the sparkling water. When I looked at the sun, it was high in the sun making everything brighter and more beautiful.

I looked over to the rocks, with the soft grey shades. There were ridged edges to them, from the sea's power banging against them, throughout the years. On top there was grass that was growing. A few sea-gulls were flying above, in the sky and filling the air with their cries of joy.

Behind me, was the sight of some tree's and the parking lot. A smile graced my lips when, I heard children squealing in joy with their parents. When looking over, I noticed the parents holding the little girl in their arms, causing my eyes to widen. " Isn't that Ishida-kun and Ishida-san, Rukia-sama?", I looked over at Yuzu as she looked at the family.

It was Orhime and Uryuu, they were with Umi. The sight of a bright smile on Orhime's lips, was something that I enjoyed. I remembered, some-days she would be down, because she thought of her past with her brother and things she once did; for instance bullying. Seeing her happy, was something that Uryuu seemed to be an expert at.

" Well, looks like it going to be a day of exes, again" I heard Ichigo say. I slapped his chest softly and rolled my eyes. Orhime didn't even mind him being here, I knew she wouldn't because that was the type of person she was. Besides, if anything happened, they both had I, Uryuu and Umi to deal with.

" Don't say that, Ichigo. Orhime isn't someone that is going to be jealous, I mean, look at how happy she is with Uryuu and her daughter. She is happily married and going to have another baby in about six months. You should be happy that, she moved on-" I tried but he stopped me.

" I wasn't talking about, Orhime. Look over at the Beach Hut and, tell me who you see" he told me. I blinked at his words, and let my eyes wonder to the beach hut; with its straw roof and wooden structure. There were a few people there, but nobody that seemed to catch my eyes.

I went to turn away from the sight, when I saw the sight of blue locks and green hair. My eyes stared at the owners. Grimmejow, and some women. She had big breast, a fair battle to Orhime's and Rangiku's, but Rangiku would still win. Her skin was tanned slight, and her cheeks held a bright blush; as the man kissing her on the sand. God dammit, there are kids on the beach. If they wanted to suck tongues, go in their car or even better, in the woods.

My eyes traveled down her body, only to see a tight bikini on her breast and hips. " Slut", slipped my lips as I watched practically beg, Grimmejow to fuck her on the sand. I had to turn away from the sight, since I felt vomit rising in my throat. Not from the leukemia, this time, but from the sight. " I'm going to be sick" I told Ichigo, who rubbed my back and lead me to a near by trash can.

I leaned over, and felt the vomit burst from my lips. Ichigo stood close to me, rubbing my back with his large hand. He was there comforting me, in my time of need. I felt one of his large hand, pull my hood and hair back, so I wouldn't vomit on them.

" Well, well, look who it is. Ichigo did you get the bitch, pregnant already? My man, you know that there are condom in the little clinic, your daddy runs, right? Or do they not fit you, cause you're, too small" I felt the vomit grow worse and worse at the sound of Grimmejow's voice. I knew it wasn't the sight, anymore. It was definitely, the leukemia making it's daily appearance in my life.

" Grimmejow, go suck a cow. Oh wait, you just where" I mentally chuckled at Ichigo's comment. At least he was defending me.

I held my stomach as, I vomited more and more. This was something that, I really didn't like. The fact, that I was vomiting at a public place. This was bound to get, some attention. I didn't want the attention.

Finally when I was done, I lifted my head and panted softly from the vomiting. A shadow covered my eyes, as I looked into the can, to see that it was painted with my vomit inside. I hated the sight and never wanted to see it, again. I looked over to my right, to see Ichigo with his eyes glued on me; with a concerned look glistening in them.

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him only to feel his bare chest. He pulled me close, with one of his strong arms, and kissed my hair softly " You okay?" he whispered. I nodded and mutter a 'yes' into his chest.

" Rukia-sama, are you okay?" Yuzu asked. I looked over at her only to see, her large light pink shirt, that hide her body. Her long sandy hair, reached to her waist and her pale skin shimmered in the sunlight. When I looked up at her face, I saw her perfect pink lips and caring brown eyes that many wanted on them. Her straight bangs covered her forehead, causing her to look simple but elegant, in my eyes.

" She's probably knocked-up, with this idiots kid", Grimmejow commented. I looked over at the man, to see his perfect chest that I once touched. His white trunks clinched to his body, and the Japanese writing for the elements on his arms, made him look bad-ass.

Yuzu placed her hand on her hips and shook her head at the man. " Listen here, you giant blue idiot. My brother is a surgeon. Someone who can kick, your ass in all subjects. I understand, that you wish to put down people who are better than you; because you know you're a piece of shit that crapes the bottom of the ocean with you face. But, if you ever make fun of my brother or Rukia-sama again, I will make sure your ass, is literally scarping the bottom of the ocean" she said with a dark voice. I was shocked by her bold move, I never heard her say something like that to someone. " Oh, and by the way, this is a family beach. There are children around, if you want to have sex with your girlfriend. Leave, or have it somewhere, where you belong. Possibly, a barn. Now, go find it and get out of my sight. I'm tired of seeing, a waste of space like this" with that the couple was gone.

" Damn, Yu! You just told him off" a voice said. " I and Toushiro walk over to my sister, telling some blue haired, idiot off. Man, it going to be a good day", from the comment and then name, I knew it was Karin.

Ichigo smirked and looked over at Yuzu with a smile on his lips. " Thanks, Yuzu" he told her. A blush covered her cheek as his 'thank you', and she waved her hand slightly.

" I-It was nothing, Ichi-nii. He was making fun of people, I care for and it's my duty to protect those, I love" she told him. She sounded like Ichigo, just there. Someone who would protect their family, not matter what, and knew that family came first from everything.

Karin looked at the two, and then to me. " What happened to little Rukia-sama? Did Ichi-nii tell you a dirty move, and you needed to hide your excitement" she teased. I narrowed my eyes at her and then looked at Toushiro who was smirking.

What did he do, to knock her out of her rage? " Did Toushiro, tell you that you two were going to have sex in the woods, when everyone is busy? You're oddly happy" I snapped back. I felt Ichigo chuckled softly and look over at his sister, who was silent at my words. I actually, think I got that right.

" Alright, you two. Let's go get out of our clothing, and get into the water" he told everyone. Yuzu smiled and nodded in agreement, for her brother's idea.

I felt sweat slowly drip down my back, from the heat. He was right, it was about time to get into the water. That was, what we came here for, right?

We all walked over to the chairs, that Karin and Toushiro set-up; and began to undress. Karin pulled off her soccer shirt and tossed it onto, one of the chair. She wore a red bikini, with sparkles over the trim. In the middle of her breast, was a metal circle that shined in the sunlight. From the looks of the top, it made her breast look larger, which seemed to catch Toushiro's eye. Teen's these days.

Her bottoms, were the same color and style with the sparkles, but in a mini skirt; causing her bottom to see... perky? You could clearly see her flat, and toned stomach that soccer and working out got her, from her swim-suit. Her long black hair covered her breast as, she looked over at the water, waiting for her sister. " Yuzu, come on. I want to go in the water" she told her twin.

Yuzu sighed and pulled her pink shirt off, to reveal her swim-suit. The top with a bright pink, which made her eyes and skin pop. There were layers upon layers of ruffles on the cups, and it tied in the back. The bikini was something, that was simple but a " wow factor".

Her bottom were bright pink, as well. But there wasn't any ruffles, they were just plain. I guess, because the top was a giant party. " Okay, let's go" she told her Karin. The two bolted down the beach with Toushiro following them.

**SPLASH** went the water, as they run into it. I smiled at the sight, and watched as Karin tackled her sister into the water. Both girls disappeared and then popped up with their hair covered plastered to their skin.

Toushiro laughed at the two, only to get them to team up on him and tackle him into the water. I chuckled when he surfaced and his white locks covered his face. Looks like, pay back was a bitch, for Toushiro anyways.

Ichigo looked at my sweater and then to his sister. With a hand he touched my shoulder, causing me to look over at him with my violet orbs. " Aren't you going to take that sweater off?" he questioned as his eyes looked over the fabric.

" You won't jump me, right?" I teased before stepping back slightly. The metal was cool on my fingers, as I slide it down revealing my bathing suit. I took the sweater off, and laid it on one of the chairs, with the girls and Toushiro's shirt.

Ichigo wrapped his arms around my waist quickly, causing me to be surprised and squeak slightly at the action. " With you're looking, so sexy, I might just jump you now" he chuckled as his eyes looked over my body, with hunger. Men.

I rolled my eyes and looked over him with them. " Now, you know how I've felt for the last five weeks. You sure love to show off your chest", I told him. It was rather true. Every-time I ask him, with his rippled chest that, I wanted to run my fingers down. Feel my body against in the mist of passion, and gasps upon when-... Rukia, deep breathes. You're going too excited.

Ichigo smiled at my clammy ways and pulled me into his chest, causing a bright blush to form on my cheeks at the touch. " Stop getting yourself worked up, we are on a beach" he whispered in my ear. I felt shivers run down, my spine at the action and looked up into his gorgeous amber eyes.

I pushed away from his arms and bolted to the water with a quick step. " Beat you to the water, Strawberry!" I shouted. I needed to get away from him, because any longer and I would've done something that, I didn't want to do; without him knowing about my illness.

The sound of the water splashing up, was in my ears. I stopped when, I looked at the ocean. A pant left my lips, as I looked at the ocean that was at my feet; literally brushing my toes. I couldn't run into the ocean, just running to it was enough to cause me to pant. This was bad, really bad.

" Midget, why did you stop?" a sexy voice whispered in my ears. I squeaked when, Ichigo's arms wrapped around me and the warmth of his skin went through my spine. My eyes went to his large hands, that laid softly on my stomach as he held me close.

There was one thing about Ichigo's hand, that made them different than others. His were crafted by his personality and experiences. Rough and scratchy from, the fights he got in as a teen. Strong and secure, from his practice and weigh-lifting. A whole story, could be told from Ichigo's hands.

" I have to tell you" I whispered to him, but he didn't hear me. I nodded my head, when he kissed my forehead. I was going to tell him, today. I didn't know, when and I didn't know how. But, I knew that I was going to tell him, today. Before we went to higher stages to our relationship, and got into more intimidate things.

I had to do it, today. Just the fact, that he and I were actually thinking about having sex; meant that this relationship was going to be serious. You can't have a serious relationship, if the other doesn't know, your dirty secrets. I couldn't hide this from him, any longer.

My thoughts of telling Ichigo, where pushed a side when he tossed me over his shoulder. The sight of the sand, covered my violet orbs. I looked over at him, only to see the daring smirk on his lips, for what he was going to do. What was he going to do?

" Hold on, guppy " he said. My eyes went wide as he ran into the water, with me over his shoulder. I gripped his body tightly, not wanting to be thrown by the surgeon. That was the last thing, I wanted to happen today.

" Don't you dare" I growled as he stopped in water, that reached his waist. He looked over at me with, his amber orbs causing my grip to loosen at the sight of his beautiful eyes.

" Oh, I dare" he said. I didn't catch his words, until he launched me into the air.

" ICHIGOOOO!" I screamed in horror. When I looked down, I noticed the blue water and the shimmer below me. But, then it hit. The cold touch of the salt liquid, covered my skin and my eyes went shut as, I entered the water. I blinked and opened my eyes.

Looking to the surface, I saw the light dancing on the water. Ribbons upon ribbons of light, danced through the water and lite the bottom. Tiny bubbles floated in the water, from my lips causing the light to ripple.

My raven locks waved in the water and covered my eyes slightly from the darkening water. I noticed that my pale white skin, was covered with white string of light from the surface. I turned my head, to see several colorful fish swimming in peace at the both with the coral.

I saw the perfect white sand, and then swam to the surface as my lungs; began to hurt from the lack of oxygen. When I broke the surface, I gasped and looked up at the blue sky. My violet looked over the water, that splashed softly onto my skin. I felt my feet kicking in the water. I looked over to the shore, to see Ichigo laughing at me with a smile on his lips.

" That bastard", I growled. I glared at him and then disappeared under the water.

I stayed under the water, for a little while. I wasn't too, far from the surface, just enough to covered my body movements. I stroke through the water, until my stomach was rubbed by the sand.

The sight of Ichigo's legs, were in my eyes. I got close and smirked to myself, since he was still in the same spot. I stood quickly and smiled at the surgeon, who was rather shocked by my appearance. I quickly grabbed his body causing him to fall into the water with a splash.

I released his body and stood from the water. I looked down to see the white mist clearing and, the sight of Ichigo looking up at me with a daring eyes. " Ooooh, Rukia-sama is gonna get it and not the way, she did last night" Karin winked. I blushed and splashed her with water causing water to get into her mouth. " Fuck!" she coughed.

Yuzu giggled at something behind me, causing me to look over. The sight of Ichigo's wet skin, and hair filled my eyes. I noticed his orange locks covered his eyes and the shimmer is curves had. I smirked and quickly walked towards the teens, hoping to get away from him. " Pay-back is a bitch" I told him.

He smirked and sent a huge wave of water at me, causing me to cough and laugh. My hand went up, trying to shield myself from the water, but I failed and got it all over me. " Ichigo" I chuckled and splashed him back.

I dodged the water, causing it to hit Toushiro who stood behind me at the moment. The teen growled and sent water back at the surgeon. " Bastard", Toushiro hissed.

Ichigo smirked and went to splash the teen, but it hit Yuzu who went after him as well. " Ichi-nii! You're going down" she claimed, as the water splashed into the air.

I looked over at Karin, who narrowed her eyes at me; like I was her next prey. I glared at her, before tackling her to the water, with my tiny form. She squealed and laughed, as we landed in the water. I surfaced and so, did she with large smiles on our faces. " Oh you're dead" she commented. I laughed as she splashed me with water.

This was how the whole day at the beach began, for me. I won't forget those moments; they were something I never wanted to forget. I was happy and smiling, with everyone that I cared for. This moment, was all thanks to the surgeon, I loved the most. Him and his phone call, as he drove here. Just the way, he made me go against Mashiro's orders. It was all him, and I wouldn't change a thing.

* * *

After the little water fight, I got out of the water and sat in one of the sun chairs. I looked out at the ocean and sighed. This was the life, everyone wanted. Except for the cancer part. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at the sky, the blue sky was slowly becoming shades of oranges and red, as the sun died down.

" Rukia-chan?" I heard. I snapped my head over at the voice, only to see Orhime with her long auburn locks; large chest that was covered with a one piece. My eyes looked over her features to see, that the blue swim-suit was prefect for her.

I noticed her tiny baby bump, and felt my heart squeeze at the sight. I wanted to have a baby, not now. But, someday with Ichigo. Was I ever going to be able to have children? My own to love and hold? Maybe, probably not.

" What are you doing here, Orhime-chan?" I asked her. She smiled brightly at my question and looked over her shoulder. I sat up slightly and looked over to see, Uryuu and Umi sitting on a blanket eating ice-cream together with smiles. " Oh, I see. Why aren't you over there?" I asked. Did she see me, and come to say: hello?

She giggled slightly and shook her head." I'm actually going to look for, some fire-wood. We're going to have a fire on the beach with some friends. You want to join? Rangiku-san, Gin-kun and some others are going to, as well" she told me. I blinked at the name, Rangiku. She was here? Why didn't I see her?

I looked over at the water, to see that Ichigo was walking over as he wiped the water from his skin. " Actually, I am here with-" I tired to tell her but, Ichigo spoke. I noticed Karin, Toushiro and Yuzu walking over, behind Ichigo.

" Orhime, what's up?" he told her. He looked over at me and winked before looking over at the teens. " We're going to go, get some ice-cream. Want some, Midget?" he asked. I glared at him for the name, and sighed softly.

" Ichigo? What are doing here?" she asked. I looked between the two, and noticed the way Ichigo was leaning towards me. Did he feel uncomfortable, around her now? What-ever it was, I wasn't going to get involved.

He chuckled softly and looked over at the teens who just got to the area. " I'm here with my sisters, Toushiro and Rukia" he answered. Orhime blinked at my name and looked over at me with, an odd look. Probably, wondering why, I was here with someone who hated me, back in the days.

" Umm, are you guys...a thing?" she asked. I blinked and sighed softly. I had to tell her at some point, right? Ichigo is her ex-boyfriend and she deserves to know; that I am dating him. Plus, she is my friend.

Before, Ichigo could speak; I did and told her the answer. " Yeah, we've been together for a week now" it was better for her to hear it from me, then from Ichigo. Orhime at first seemed to be shocked, at the news but that soon melted to happiness for me. This was the Orhime that, I knew and loved. Even though, she was in the worse of news; she was happy for the person.

I looked over at Ichigo and then to the teen's, who were silent as they watched the exchanged. " Ichigo, why don't you guys go get the ice-cream. I'll stay behind and watch the stuff, and talk to Orhime for a little bit". I needed to get them away, so I could talk to the women and try to get her input.

Ichigo raised a brow, but I snapped her a pleading look. Finally, he got the hint and waved the three to follow him. " Alright, I'll get you the strawberry flavor, since you love it so much" he told me. I blushed at his words and watched as he walked down the sand.

I looked over at Orhime and sighed softly. " Listen, Orhime. I didn't mean for this to happen. I mean, I never thought, I and Ichigo would actually talk to each other without trying to kill each other or anything", I told her. She shook her head and smiled softly at my words. Was there something that, I wasn't getting? Maybe, a joke or a message in her words.

" Don't be sorry, Rukia. We fall in love, with whom-ever our heart chooses. Ichigo and I, were broke-up a long time ago" she told me. I never heard her really, talk about her and Ichigo's relationship. I thought it was a soar spot in her heart, that she didn't like to speak about. But I was wrong. It seemed like, she didn't speak about it because it was old news; and she didn't care for it much. She looked over at her family and smiled brightly, as Uryuu waved at her. " Besides, I have Uryuu and he makes me the happiest person around. I always thought, that Ichigo would fall for someone who, didn't fit well for him. But, I was wrong. You two are prefect for each other. You can relate", I was silent at her words.

" Orhime..." I whispered as she smiled. I never saw this side of her. Usually it was the soft side, that was innocent and sometime, clue-less. But, this side was something that, I never saw. It was nice to see, that she could be wise and that she could tell someone this. Why did she usually, hide this side of her? Was it because, she thought people would use this side of her, to their advantage? Probably. " How are you with your pregnancy?" I asked. Maybe, this was just a mood swing and nothing more.

She giggled and rubbed her bump softly, with her delicate hand. I noticed the large wedding ring, on her finger and smiled at it. Some day, I was going to be wearing a ring like that. From the man, I love and can't live without. " It's better than, Umi's. For some reason, my craving is just ice and things, that are cold. Nothing too, weird" she told me. I rolled my eyes at her words.

She hated her pregnancy with Umi. I should remember, because I was the one on the phone with her as she cried, for help and didn't want to be fat. " You say that, till you are in your fifth or sixth month" I told her.

She shrugged and sighed softly. " Well, I must be going. That fire wood, isn't going to find itself. I hope to see you, at the fire tonight". I smiled and waved her off.

* * *

After, Orhime left; I sat in the chair alone waiting for the four to come back with the ice-cream. When, Ichigo and the three teens arrived he motioned for me, to get up and I did.

" What?" I asked in a chuckle. He handed me, my ice-cream and looked at the three teens. I noticed the strict look in his eyes, as he looked at Karin who snorted and rolled her eyes. Did I miss something, when I stayed behind? It seemed, like I did. " What did I miss, when you guys left?" I asked with a curious voice.

Ichigo chuckled and so, did the three. " You two, stay here. No, drug or sex" he told them. I raised a brow at his words, and looked at the three with question. What was going on? " You...", he told me. I looked over at him and chuckled softly at his voice. He was definitely hiding something. " Are coming with me", I was silent as he started to walk down the beach.

I shrugged and licked my ice-cream, as I followed after him. The taste of strawberries, danced on my tongue and the cool feeling made me shiver. An ice-cream was something, I needed on a day like this. A hot day at the beach, with unexpected events.

I looked over at Ichigo, through the corner of my eye. His skin was perfect as he walked, the way the sun-set seemed to high is cheeks; made him look mysterious and sexy. Nothing, unusual, for the surgeon. I looked at his hair, to see that it was still slightly damp from the ocean, and couldn't help but smile.

He looked over at me, as he licked his vanilla ice-cream; causing his tongue to turn white at the touch. " What are you staring at, Sardine?" he asked.

I blushed and wrapped my free arm, around his waist. I felt his arm cover my shoulders and pull me closer to him. " I was looking and a handsome, man" I whispered to him. Ichigo leaned down, and kissed my fore-head softly. I blushed at the soft texture of his lips, and smiled softly. It was nice to be alone.

I looked around, and noticed that the sand, was slowly disappearing and softy grey softs were replacing it. I looked to the sides to see, the forest was getting thicker and thicker. I noticed the shadow the sunset caused in the forest, and started to think about, what he was doing. " If you're planning on killing me, in the woods; it's not going to work. I know, how to fight and I can kick your ass", I told him.

Ichigo smirked and rolled his eyes. " I would over-power you, Rukia" he told me. My eyes widened at the comment. Was he thinking that? " But, I'm not trying to kill you. Just wait and see, okay" he told me.

I sighed and nodded my head, as we walked down the sandy/rocky ground. I licked my ice-cream in happiness, and kept my eyes on the scenery. It was changing with every step we took.

The sand was completely gone, by now. It was replaced with grey rocks, that were cold on my feet, but I pushed passed the feeling. The forest seemed to be dark as night, seeing as the sun-set was making it look warm and covey.

Looking behind me, there was no human life. The only sign of people being in the area, were just the foot-prints, I and Ichigo left in the sand a little while ago. Besides, that there was only the sounds of the birds in the sky, I and Ichigo's feet on the rocks, and the sea in the near distance.

I looked forward, and saw that there was some kind of drop. Maybe, a hill of some sort. Ichigo pulled me forwards slightly, causing me to walk faster to the drop.

The sound of the water, got louder and louder, as we got closer. I felt the breeze get stronger and stronger as, I got closer and closer, as well. Looking over at the surgeon, I felt my ice-cream softly coming back up, but it stayed down. Thankfully.

We, finally made it to the drop and I looked down, to see the calm but crashing waves, hitting the large cliff of grey rock; we stood on. I held my breath, when I saw the drop and the rocks. What the hell, was he thinking? Was this just for the view? Or was he going to make me, jump off this, thing. Either way, he was out of his, god damn, mind. There, was no way I was jumping from here, and the jump looked rather dangerous, to me. Never, was I going to do that.

Ichigo grabbed my hands, and turned me to face him. I searched his face, to see that he was being devilish, as always and he wasn't joking about this. The sun-set seemed to be perfect in his amber eyes, as he looked into mine. Man, did I love his eyes. " On your, Bucket List. You said: To jump off a cliff" he told me. I mentally cursed myself for writing that one, down.

He looked over the edge and then to me. " Well, this is going to be the cliff. I heard from some workers, at the ice-cream shack that, it isn't dangerous and that it was rather fun, to jump off this cliff. So, why not give it a go" he told me.

Was he crazy? I looked at the cliff and shook my head. " I'm not jumping from here", I told him. Ichigo smirked and rolled his amber eyes, at my words. I was scared of that cliff, and how the jump was going to be.

He waved his index finger in front of my face, and smirked at my fear. " Nah nuh", he told me. He made me feel like a child, for doing this to me. So, what I was afraid to jump off the cliff. It had to be at least a 40 foot drop or more. " It was on you list, and we are going to do it. No chickening out, Rukia. Live a little", he told me.

I went to speak, but he released my hands and back away from me quickly. I looked at him, as he got into a running position. " Ichigo, don't" I told him. But, I was too, late. He bolt off the rocks, and into the air.

My heart pounded in my chest, as I watching in soar through the air with his body curled up. " Ichigooo!", I screamed. I was in fear that he was going to be injured, and if he was. How was, I going to save him or rescue him?

" Wooooooohooooooo!" he screamed. I held my breath as, he hit the water and a loud splash was heard. I looked down, to see that there was a white cloud from his impact. I waited for him to surface, from his jump. When he peaked up, I glared at him with my violet eyes. " That was great!" he yelled up. I cursed him softly under my breath and crossed my arms, over my chest. I still wasn't going to jump. " Come on, Kuchiki! You a chicken shit?!" he yelled.

I growled at the insult and looked over at him, with anger. " No! I just have common sense!" I yelled down to him. I had my mind set, on not jumping. I wasn't going to change it, either. Or so, I thought.

" Oh yeah! A sensible person, puts that on their bucket list; so they never will do it! Get your ass, down here!" he demanded. I gritted my teeth at his words. I put that, on the list because, I wanted to feel the rush and the nerves. I didn't want to die, by a jump. _Heck, it's better than, dying of leukemia. _

I sighed and looked down at the man, in the water. If I did, die from the jump; it was quicker than my cancer. " Cancer or jump?" I whispered to myself. I sighed and stepped back from the edge. " You got this" I told myself.

" Come on, you damn pansy!", I heard Ichigo scream up to me. I narrowed my eyes and bolted to the edge.

I leaped into the air, and looked straight ahead of me. The sight of the sun-set, lite my eyes. It was so, beautiful and breathing-taking. Just the colors and the simplicity of the sight, was something that was so rare. I loved the way, the sun hit the water and made it shimmered, caused my heart to skip.

Finally, I snapped out of the sun-set and looked to see, that the sun was passing my eyes quickly. A scream left my lips, as I looked around to see, I was falling.

My heart began to pound, in my chest as I looked at the passing sun. I pulled my knee's to my chest and braced myself for death. I tired, to stop my screaming, but that was impossible to do, for myself.

**SPLASH!**

I found myself underwater, once again. I looked up to see, the large ring of white; from my impact. I looked over from the white ring and saw Ichigo's legs kicking.

I quickly swam to the surface, and broke through. I gasped from the rush, I had felt and looked over at Ichigo who was laughing at my screams. " I did it!" I shouted with happiness. I thought, that I was never going to do it. But, Ichigo's taunts forced me, to show him wrong.

I swam over to him and wrapped my arms, around his neck. He smiled at me, before pulling me closer and kissing my lips. I smiled into his soft lips, and felt my body slowly tower over his in passion. We softly pulled away. I looked into his eyes and smiled softly " Ichigo", I whispered.

He smiled and placed his hands, on my bottom before slowly swimming in a circle " Yes?" he whispered back.

I kissed his cheek and then his shoulder softly, with my lips. " I love you" I whispered. He smiled and kissed me, once more. I moved my lips to his, and pressed closer to his body.

I unwrapped myself from him and looked at some rocky island, that lead to the beach. " I love you too" I heard him whispered in my ear. I looked over at him, with a smile. He looked at the island and chuckled. " Race ya' " he said before swimming off.

I quickly swam after him, with those four words lingering in my ears.I kicked my feet and pumped my arms, as I swam through the water. Ichigo wasn't, too far a head of me; so I wasn't going to just bolt to the island. There was time for that, besides he was going to tire himself out, without even thinking about it.

The pure sound of the water splashing from Ichigo's movements, were in my ears as; I flipped onto my back and went into a back-stroke. I looked at the sky to see, the mixture of oranges and reds. There were one or two clouds, that were slowly vanishing as the sun, disappear beyond the horizon.

Birds flew over the sky and called out to their loved, ones as they weren't to retire for the night. I could see the north star, peaking out and saying: hello to the land. As the star shimmer grew, the sky went darker and darker.

I closed my eyes, and sighed softly as I thought of the night. It was so peaceful, but dangerous at times. I opened my eyes, and heard myself humming a song, that my sister once sang to me. I didn't really, know the words but, I remembered the rhythm.

I looked over, to see that Ichigo had slowed down and we were only a few meters from the island. I flipped over and began to swim quickly. I looked over to see, that I passed Ichigo and that the rock; was right a head.

With a quick hand, I slapped the stone and looked over to see him; trying to catch up to me. I giggled softly and pushed myself up, onto the island.

" Ha-ha! I win!" I teased. Ichigo shook his wet hair as, he climbed up onto the rock. A smile covered his lips, as he looked down at me. I blushed, at the fact he was over top of me. The feeling of the water dripping from his body, and touch my skin; seemed like a blur.

" You might have won, but I get the best prize" he whispered. I watched as he leaned down, and softly captured my lips. I closed my eyes and constrained on his lips. How soft they were, their texture, shape and taste.

One of his drenched hands tangled into my wet locks, pulling our lips closer. I couldn't help but, wrap an arm around his back; causing him to fall slightly on top of me. A soft moan left my throat, when he bit my bottom lips softly; asking for me to open my lips. My lips opened and the sweet taste of our mouths, mixed quickly.

My long legs wrapped around his waist, in the mist of all the passion. A shiver went down my spine, when one of his hands wrapped around my waist. I whimpered when, his lips felt mine and went to my neck; causing a wave of pleasure to fill my mind. I gasped softly, when he bit my salty flesh and then sucked softly. From his actions, my mind went blank and all thoughts, I had disappeared.

I felt the warm feeling building slowly in my stomach. I looked down at the orange locks on top of his head, and bit back a moan in pleasure. " Ichigo, not here" I told him. He looked up at me with a pout and sad eyes. I wanted him. Oh, how I wanted him. But, I wasn't going to have sex on the beach, even thought it was a drink.

He sighed and rolled off me, onto the rocky surface. I looked over at him and grabbed his wet hand into mine. " I know, you want to... I want to, as well. But, not on the beach" I told him. He groaned and snapped his eyes shut from my words. He didn't want to hear them, and that was something, which I knew.

" Rukiaaa" he whined. I stood from the rock and looked down at him. " You're going to be the death of me, Midget" he told me. I raised a brow at him, and smirked at his words. I wasn't going to be the death of him, I was just going to make his life more... interesting and difficult.

I kicked his side softly and rolled my eyes at his misery. " Come on, lets go before Karin and the others, think we drowned" I went to walking out of the island and onto the sandy beach. I heard Ichigo groan and get to his feet.

When I looked down the beach, I could see the place where we were set-up. Was this place, really, that close. Ichigo walked over and smirked at the shocked look in my eyes, from the distance. " What? To get to the top, you need to walk. The bottom, is a different story" he chuckled. I snapped a glare at him for the smart-ass comment.

* * *

The fire was bright in the darkness of the night. With the dancing flames of red, orange and yellow. I smiled happily, as I looked across the fire to see, Rangiku and Gin. It was nice to see them, together. I haven't really, seen them together since the engagement. So, this was something that was a breath of fresh air, to see.

There were many things, you could say about the couple. They were loud -especially when, they were playing around. Happy, Gin always made Rangiku smile. Un-joyful, there was never a sad moment with the two; unless something, really, serious happened. But mostly, they were in love.

" So, Kuchiki-chan and Koursaki-kun, huh?" said Gin. I looked at the silver haired man, that looked like pure silver itself. His pale skin was lite, with the reds of the flame. Gin, always wore a smile and had the brightest blue eyes. For a man, who was in his late twenties; he sure did have a body. I only knew that, because of Rangiku's endless talks about their sex lives. I didn't need to know, what went on with her and him in the bedroom. If you know, what I mean.

Ichigo's arm around my waist tightened, at the sound Gin's voice. I figured, that he wouldn't be a fan of the man, since they only knew each other for probably a year or two; when in High-school. Also, I think Gin was one of his major bullies; besides some guy names Aizen or something like that. With my covered hand, from the baggy chappy sweater that kept me warm, I covered his hand with mine. My body leaned into him, and inhaled his scent causing a smile to cross my lips. " Just relax, he is a nice man" I whispered to him. He was tense at my words, but he loosened when he heard Rangiku laugh softly. " He makes her happy", I told him.

He nodded and pulled me closer to him. I blushed at the feeling of his large black hoodie, that pooled over his strong chest and body. With one of my fingers, I traced the red design that danced on the side of his body, and down his arms. " Yeah, it was just recently, actually" Ichigo answered the man.

Gin nodded, as Rangiku snuggled into his body that was covered with a dark blue t-shirt. " Ginny-bear, rub my back" she demanded. I chuckled at the teacher, and then noticed that Gin complied with her demands.

Uryuu smirked at the sight and looked at Orhime, who was sleeping on his lap. Her auburn locks covered his lap and her peaceful face was facing his body. In her arms was their daughter, sound asleep and cuddling into her mother. " The things, we do for our women, eh fella's " he said with a smile.

Gin smiled and shook his head, as he rubbed Rangiku's back. " You're tellin' me. Ran, got me runnin' all over the town, lookin' for things for the wedding" he said. Rangiku narrowed her eyes at him, and snorted loudly.

" Well, you were the one who, who put this ring on my finger" she clarified. I looked at her hand that, she raised to his face. On her finger was a large ring, with large diamonds and a gold band. Man, the money that Gin made was something else. He was a business manager, for a huge law firm in Tokyo. Thankfully, they had another firm in Karakura Town. " Now, you got to pay the price, for your wife", she smirked.

Gin sighed and looked over at the three teens. His eyes went to Toushiro and Karin " So, how much longer, till ya'll hook-up and make it official?" he asked the boy. Toushiro blushed and looked over at Karin, who was just the same.

Karin looked over at Yuzu, who was giving her a look of curiosity; since she thought it was about time, someone asked about it. " Ummmm... maybe, someday soon" Toushiro answered. Karin blushed deeply. Yuzu chuckled and pulled her twin back, causing her to fall onto the sand.

**BANG! BANG!**

The sky lite with colors, causing me and Ichigo to look up. The sight of fire-works was fresh in the sky, causing it to light with life.

He stood and took my hand softly in his. I followed as he lead me to the middle of the sand. He pulled me to his chest, and kissed my hair softly. I smiled and leaned into him. " Let's sit" I told him.

We slowly sat on the sand and he wrapped his arms around me, causing me to giggle and lean back into his chest. He laid a kiss on my neck, and snuggled into the cold touch of my skin. " I love you" he whispered.

I blushed and looked over at him, with a bright spark of light from the fireworks in the sky. " I love you too" I whispered. A smile grew on his lips, as he laced his fingers through mine. I love this, being in his arms and smiling. _Tell him, now!_ was whispered in my mind.

I sighed and looked over at the surgeon, as he looked up at the bright colors in the sky. I had to do, it before anything happened. " Ichigo, I need to tell you something" I spoke softly. He tore his eyes from the sky and to me, causing me to choke at the sight. How am I, going to do this?

" Okay, tell me" his voice was soft and sweet. My heart throbbed as, I looked into his amber orbs. I have to tell him, I have to. But, I couldn't find it in me, to tell him.

I bowed my head and closed my eyes. " The illness, I'm dying of is-"

**BANG! **

A firework cut me off. Ichigo kissed my cheek and then my ear softly. " I'll figure out, what you have, okay? Don't worry about it" he told me.

I bit my lip, and looked at him with hope in my eyes. _I hope, you figure it out soon. Before, I have to go to Tokyo and, you are looking at my medical records to file the travelling bill. _

My day at the beach, was something that makes me smile; to this day. But, there was always, the thought of my bravery, that night that I will always want with me. Even now, I wish I had that bravery. I wished, that he let me say those words; because it wasn't all going to play out like, I wanted it to.

* * *

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. This chapter, was super long and detailed. I'm not going to respond to your reviews, at the moment; cause it's super later and I have to get to bed. Next chapter, I will respond to the new and the old one's.

Tell me, what you thought of this chapter. I worked, really, hard on this one!

Have a great week, a new Bucket List chapter, will be done sometime this week since I have the week off. Keep looking for the update!

Love, Bleachlover2346


	17. Chapter 17

_There is a tale, of many loves. _

_Most with knights and dragon, saving a princess in their castle. _

_But, I don't want our story to be like that, my love. _

_I don't want you, to be in a suit of armor; slaying a dragon who is protecting me. _

_I want you to be my dragon. _

_Not, for you to be slayed by one strong knight; _

_while the rest were killed by your flame of love, _

_I want you to be my dragon, to protect me from the things that are happening to my castle. _

_Use your love, to protect me from the dangers of the world, _

_and the things, I never should have to face and feel in my existence. _

_Being my dragon, means you light my world with your flame of passion, and heart. _

_I love you, my flaming dragon... _

_Till one day, your flames can't protect your princess anymore... _

_My dragon... sometimes the battles you fight are the one's I can not win, _

_but there is one battle, I shall fight but you can't... _

_The battle to survive... _

**BEEP!**

**BEEP!**

**BEEP!**

**BEEP!**

The sound of the heart-monitor, was in my ears as I sat on the edge of the hospital bed. It's been three days since, I went to the beach with Ichigo and the others. After the beach, I went home and found my dizzy-spells getting worse. I began to sleep in till three, and well, I was exhausted.

After three days, I finally got the strength to go to the hospital. But my exhaustion, was too bad for me to drive. So, I had to ask someone, that I knew would take me straight to the place I needed to go. " How are you feeling? ", the husky voice caused me to look over. My violet eyes looked at the long red locks, in a pony tail and the tattoo's Renji had.

" I feel a little better, not so tired anymore", I told him. I looked at the I.V in my wrist and sighed heavily at the sight. " I don't know, what happened Renji. I felt fine, on the beach and then, I get home and I nearly passed out" I told him. It didn't make sense to me. Everything was perfectly fine, until I got home and I was away from Ichigo.

A women with short green hair walked into the room, with a long white lab coat. She sighed and looked at me, through her glasses which showed her brown eyes. I bowed my head at her pale skin, and closed my eyes. " I know, you couldn't help it" she told me. I bit my tongue at Mashiro's voice. " You just had to go to the beach, with Koursaki-kun and tire yourself out, didn't you Kuchiki-chan?", I knew she was disappointed in me for not listening to her.

Renji smirked and leaned against the wall. He knew that, I was too stubborn to actually listen to the women and care for her words. But, he also knew that I cared for my health more than, my stubbornness could defeat. " What did he say, for you to actually go to the beach?" he asked me.

Mashiro placed her hands on her hips, and looked at me as I looked up at my friend. " So, a handsome surgeon, convinced you to go to the beach; when you're suffering with leukemia?" she said before, I could speak at all. She probably thought, that it was his fault that, I was like this. But, he didn't know, what I had and what the tiniest things could do to me. " Maybe, I need to send him some books on cancer symptoms and dangers. Perhaps, it will knock some sense into his h-" I stopped her. I couldn't hear her, insult Ichigo's intelligence as a surgeon anymore.

" Kuna-san, he doesn't know. I've been trying to keep, it a secret from everyone. He doesn't know, what I have and he didn't know, what would happen to me" I told her. Renji shook his head and walked over to the seat, that was next to the bed. " It isn't his fault, he doesn't know what is going on. All he knows, is that I have something that is dangerous and required me to take pills", Renji looked at the doctor who was staring at me with worry.

I watched as Mashiro walked over to me, and looked at my face. " Kuchiki-chan..." she trailed off. She looked over at Renji, probably figuring he was the only person I told. " You have to tell him. What's going to happen, if the surgery in Tokyo goes wrong, and you don't make it?" she told me. I bowed my head at the thought, of Ichigo's going to my apartment looking for me and never finding me. Before, he knew it my face was in the news-paper and the date for the funeral was made. I couldn't have that for him.

" I tried to tell him on the beach, but, he didn't let me" I told her. She sighed and took my wrist into her hand. I watched, as she pulled the I.V out of my wrist softly and looked at my heart-beat upon the monitor.

Mashiro was a very good doctor. To this day, she and Uryuu were the best doctor's I knew; and had take care of me. They weren't like the others, that took care of me, when I was in Sick-kid's or other hospitals. They seemed to socialize with their patients and learn more about them. Make them, their friend and care for them like; they do their family.

She pulled some of her green hair, behind her ear and sighed softly as she looked at my fingers. " You know, Kuchiki-chan. I have a feeling" she told me. Renji smiled and leaned back in the seat, and closed his eyes at her words.

" God, girl talk" he groaned in annoyance. Mashiro snapped a glare at the red head, and looked to the door; telling him to leave. Renji growled as he stood and marched out of the room. When the door closed, the silence went thick from the doctor.

I snapped my head towards the women, wanting to hear was she was feeling. I wanted to know, it was a good feeling or a bad feeling. I wanted to know, badly. " What's this feeling, Kuna-chan?" I asked her. She sighed and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

She held her breath, as she looked at my pale skin. " You have a good heart, Kuchiki-chan. But, you don't have the strength you once had..." she trailed off. I couldn't bare to look at her, because it was true. It was true, that I didn't have the strength; I once had when, I battled the first time. I still had the fresh memories of my brother, and the stress he went through. The pure, image of the days in the hospital were fresh in my mind.

My wounds, of the leukemia before this; were still open and bleeding. I didn't want, the live to drain out of Byakuya again; like it had when I was in the hospital. He just got his happiness back, and now this? I didn't want to end, his happiness. Then there was Ichigo. He was so, bright and happy. Nothing seemed to ruin his mood, really. If I told him, that spark in his amber eyes, was bound to disappear from his eyes and leave me with nothing, but sorrow and pain in his eyes.

I didn't want, any of this to happen.

Mashiro walked over to the desk in the room, and opened the orange folder that read my name. Her eyes skimmed over the information, causing her lips to frown at the sight. She must have read, my file a billion times, trying to see how I survived all these year with the cancer. " But, with such a large file and pass with leukemia; I don't blame you. But, I have a feeling that things, between you and Koursaki-kun will get there... but you, will be hurt in the process" she told me. I raised a brow at her words and looked down at my jean shorts, and exposed legs.

My arms wrapped around my frame, as I looked down at my legs and shorts. I didn't want to get hurt, more than I already was. Why me? Why, must I get hurt? Mashiro noticed my tense and sorrow filled aura and sat down next to me. I felt her take my hand " Listen. I know, that it seems like it's unfair, but in the end you will have what, you wanted most" she told me.

I closed my eyes, when she placed the folder into my hands. The texture of the folder, was bumped and soft. Inside there was hundreds of papers that, were all from my past battle and this one now. If there was one thing, I wished happened to the folder; it would be for it to burn in a fire pit. I never wanted to see, this folder again. I hated it, with a passion. It was nothing but, a difficult challenge to my life. I wanted it gone, from my hands and sights. But, that wasn't going to happen, any time soon.

To this day, I still have this folder. I look at it, to remember all the things; I've been through. All the things, I and Ichigo went through; as a couple and what we needed to do. I might think, that my folder was nothing but a problem. But, at the end of the day, it was the one thing that seemed to make I and Ichigo, fall more and more in love. I should be thanking the folder, and not hating it. But, it was something, that I couldn't help.

" Kuna-chan, tell me now. What are the odds of me, actually being cured?", if the cancer has been going on longer than, I and Uryuu knew; was there any point of fighting. Was it too, late for me to defeat this? Maybe, I was just this ticking time bomb, waiting for the cancer to kill me. Perhaps, my fighting was just for nothing and it was best, just to die.

She took my hand, in hers and squeezed it tightly. I didn't like the feeling, because it was almost like she was trying, to get me ready for bad news. " There is always a way" she told me. I bowed my head at her words. I was losing hope, in myself for this battle. I didn't know, what I was going to do. I needed hope now, more than I ever will. I needed my brother, he was always filled with hope, and gave me hope when I was in the worse situations. " You defeat this once, you can defeat it again".

" You make it seem, like a old battle that wasn't won" I told her. Mashiro smiled and nodded her head at my words. It was an old battle, just my enemy got stronger and was winning the first round; because I didn't notice them coming and didn't want to fight them till now.

She stood from the bed and looked at the clock in the room. " Did you tell, Koursaki-kun, you weren't going to work today?" she asked. I shook my head at her question. I didn't even, call in. I was too, tired to call and I wasn't awake to call in. Knowing, Rangiku and Nemu, that probably separated my class into theirs. " He worried", I snapped out of my thoughts for the two teachers; and looked at the doctor. " Koursaki-kun, thinks somethings wrong with you and he scrambling around, looking for you" she told me. How did she even know, that?

" Why would he be doing that? It's one day" I told her. Actually, it was two days. I didn't go to work, yesterday because I slept in and woke up when, school was over. Ichigo, is probably worried for me.

" Don't lie, Kuchiki-chan. He loves you, and you love him. When, the one you love goes missing and you don't see them, in 24 hours. You lose your mind, and begin to worry" she told me. I knew she was right, because at my house there were answering machine messages, from Ichigo, Rangiku, Nemu, Byakuya and Karin. All of them, were wondering were I was. I knew they were there, but I never called them back; because I didn't know what to say and tell them.

Mashiro pushed her glasses up her nose, as she looked over at me with her brown orbs. " You need to fight these battles first, before you take on your cancer. Tell, Kouraski and whom-ever you need to tell. If you don't you, will be stressed and your body won't be strong enough to fight your cancer", she said. I was practically killing myself.

I nodded and stood from the bed. " Thank you, Kuna-chan" I told her. I went to leave but, she grabbed my hand and shook her head at me.

" No, Kuchiki-chan. Thank you" she said as she stood from the bed. " I have more medication for you", she told me. I cringed at her words. Here comes, the several pills again. " It's to give you energy, also for your active live style" she said.

I watched as she shoved things into a white bag, and then signed the bag and a paper. " Here, you go" she said. I took the bag, and sighed softly at the feeling of another paper bag in my hand. It made me sick, but it was going to help me.

" Thank you again, Kuna-chan" I told her, as I walked out of the room. I looked over the hallway, to see several patients walking around with their I.V bags. Everyone of them, were fighting a cancer. Some of them, were like me, but then there was the large group of patients, who were going through a different cancer. Either they had my cancer or not, I felt empathy for them.

I turned right, and continued down the hallway. The sound of patients laughing and sleeping,was in my ears. I knew what it was like for them. Having to sit around, and hope for the best for their health. People may think, that being a patient was easy; but it truly wasn't. You had to sit in a bed, and wait for the news upon your life. It was terrifying.

As I walked, I came to the lobby where the front deck was. At the desk was a doctor, looking over his paper work. He reminded me of Uryuu, back at the hospital closer to the school. He had short white hair, and slightly tanned skin. He wore a lab coat and a green scrub uniform. He didn't look at me, but I knew that he could tell I was there.

" Ready to go?", I heard Renji asked me. I looked over to the waiting chair, to see him staring up at me and then to the male doctor, at the desk . " It weird isn't it?", he asked me. I sighed and nodded at his words. It was weird having to come to a special hospital again. I was so, used to actually going to Uryuu and seeing all the nurses, that I knew, too well.

" Yeah but, it is something that I will have to get used to", I told him. He nodded and stood from the chair. We both walked to the elevator. I stared at the silver doors, as Renji pressed the down button.

_" Get used to it, Rukia. This place is going to help you live long, and help you fight your cancer", _I thought to myself. I looked over my shoulder and saw, a little girl and her mother walking out of a room. The mother was in a wheel-chair and the little girl was pushing her, with a bright smile.

My heart squeezed at the sight. It must be hard to know that, your own mother was fighting something that, can't be seen and was hard to defeat. But, yet she could wear a smile and push her mother. That's what, you call being strong in my eyes.

**DING!**

The sound of the elevator was in my ears, causing me to look over at it as the doors open. I followed Renji into the elevator and watched him press the lobby button. The hospital had at least ten floors. Each one filled with, different cancer patients. All of them, trying to fight and live their lives.

" So, who are you going to take with you to Tokyo?" I turned at his question and looked at him with dull eyes. I didn't want to think about Tokyo, yet. It was only a week from now, and I didn't want to think about it, really. I didn't want to think about it, at all. I knew that I was, going to ask Ichigo to come with me. But, what about Renji?

Renji had seen, what leukemia can do to someone. Heck, he lost his own brother to it. Should I take him? He would know, how to take care of me. He would know, what to do and how to make sure, I was okay.

But, then there was Ichigo. He is a surgeon. He knew everything about the medical feild and, he could take care of me. But, then there was the possibility, that he wouldn't come with me. I feared that, the most. His rejection.

I looked over at Renji. " I want to ask Ichigo", I told him. He frowned slightly but nodded his head, at my words. He knew that, there was a rather slim chance that Tatsuki will let him take any time off, from the gym. " If not. I want you to come with me" I told him. Renji was the _if_, for the trip to Tokyo.

I love Renji, but there was way, too much going on in his life. I didn't want to make, him put everything on hold because of me. I didn't want to make him, stop his life for me and for this trip. Especially, if I didn't make it back and I don't survive. But, then there was the fact he watched his brother die of leukemia. I didn't want to have him, re-live such a thing.

" Rukia, what's on your mind?" he asked me. I looked over at him, and shook my head. Renji knew how to read me, better than I could read myself. It was creepy, but comforting to me. " You're too quiet, and your eyes are dull. That only happens, when you are thinking about something. Now, tell me what you are thinking about" he demanded.

**DING! **

The elevator saved me, from telling him the truth and what was on my mind. I didn't want to tell him, because he would say that, I'm being childish and that I'm not a burden. How was I going to believe that?

I knew what my medicine cost, and what the hospital bills were. I was a burden. A huge one. But, the bills weren't just the problem. It was my death. Someone would have to watch me die, slowly and I didn't know, if it was painful either. I was the burden of all burdens.

The elevator opened, and we walked out without a single word. I kept my head to the floor, trying to hide my dull eyes that Renji knew, all too well. I looked at my feet, which were covered my a pair of my ruin down converts. They were battered and beaten from their many years, of service. But, there was something grand about these shoe. They were the shoes that, I wore out of sick-kids, when I was eight-teen.

My brother bought them, marking the new steps that; I was going to take without my leukemia. After, I wore them once; I was addict to them for some reason. Maybe, it was the thought that was put into them. Perhaps, the good luck I had with them on. Either way, I wore them and now, they were woren out.

" Have a good day", one of the nurses told us as we exited the hospital. I nodded at the women and, followed Renji out the automatic opening doors. As we went through the doors, I looked up to see the outside through the windows.

The sight of green grass which, went down the entrance; made my heart squeeze. Just to know, that the people inside the hospital were looking out at the green grass and thinking about the way, it smell and felt. Then there was the large garden to the right, with the largest yellow roses and lilac's, I ever saw. In the middle of the stone walk-way, that lead to the parking lot was; a large fountain. In the middle of the fountain, were two metal sculptures of two people. There wasn't any detail or features to them, but you knew it was two people just at the sight.

The sculpture, was about the patients and how they were fitting for a new start. One of the people was reaching to the sky, like that was the strength you needed to over-come the cancers. The other was twist around the first feet, as they reached to the sky. The second, seemed like a symbol for people who are helping the other fight and over-come their battle.

The splashed into the fountain, from the first persons hand that reached to the sky and from the second hands that reached to the side.

" It's quiet a story", I whispered to Renji, who looked over at me and then the fountain. I figured he didn't understand the story in the fountain. Honestly, he wasn't one for art and the meaning of one thing. " It's the story of a cancer survivor and their family, being there for them during their fight", I told him.

Renji nodded and went back to walking down the stone path. I stood in place and looked at the statue, some more before following after him with a slight jog. I always figured that Renji, didn't like hearing about survivors; because it reminded him that he brother didn't survive his cancer. How did he manage to stick around me, for so long?

Was I a reminder, that is little brother didn't make it through his leukemia? Was I slowly clipping away his happiness, and turning it to sorrow? There was so many question, about the touchy subject. But, all of them made it seem like; I hurt Renji every time I was with him, like now.

When we made it to the car, I sighed and looked at the red paint of the SUV. I wasn't used to riding with Renji, in his car. Usually, I was walking with him but, not driving. I didn't that with Ichigo and, maybe Rangiku or Nemu. Living in a small town like Karakura, you didn't really need to drive; because everything was so, close to you and your house.

I climbed into the car and closed the door softly causing a soft bang to enter the air. With one of my delicate hands, I pulled the seat beat across my body and clicked. I leaned back into the seat and looked over at Renji lazily.

" Are you going to tell me, what is on your mind, now?" he asked me. I was silent at his question. I didn't want to tell him, what was on my mind, because he knew me, way too well for my liking some times. " Come on Ruks, I know when there is something on your mind, and I want to know what this is. It seems like it, is bothering you" he told me. Did he know me, that well?

I closed my dull eyes and looked out the window, to see the large hospital. The building was fancy, with thousands of rooms, for many patients. Each room, was roomy and wasn't cold like some hospitals. It was almost like, a large hotel for the sick and dying.

Renji looked at me and knew that I wasn't going to tell him, then and there. So, he started the car, causing it to roar with life. I watched out the window, as he reversed out of the parking lot and drove onto the road.

Several car passed us, as we drove down the pavement and away from the hospital. There wasn't much around the hospital, just a few house and stores. It actually, wasn't far from Karakura, it was right on the edge; away from the city. I suppose they placed it there, so the smog and what-not, didn't effect the patients while they healing and fought for their lives.

" Renji", I spoke. The car stopped at a red light, that headed towards the city more. He looked over at me, and face that was covered with my short raven locks. I was in shame, for the fact that I was hiding this from so, many people and that I couldn't tell others about my sickness. I am a Kuchiki. I am a survivor. I am a strong women. But, this seemed to make me weak and shameful. Why?

" What is it, Rukia?" he asked with concern. He was always worried for me, because he was someone who cared for a lot of people; he just didn't know how to show it, very well.

The car began to move as the light flashed green. I looked over at him with my dull eyes " How am I, going to tell, Ichigo and my brother?" I asked him. Those were the two people, I didn't know how to tell.

My brother was the worse, because he seen me go through it once. He knew what was going to happen. Plus, he just got over my long battle, himself. How was I going to bring him back, into this kind of life style?

With a hand, Renji rubbed my shoulder trying to comfort me. " They both love you. Well, I know Byakuya loves you and that Ichigo... h-he cares for you deeply", he spoke. " They will be there for you. Perhaps, not at first because they are in shock; like I was. But, they will be there for you, till the end of all this".

I nodded at his words. My battle was going to test all my friendships, and everyone who cares for me. It was going to single out the one's, who were there for me, till the every end. And group the one's who, are just fake and weren't my real friends. I knew there was three already singled out. They were: Kaien, Uryuu and Renji. All three knew, and were there for me; when I needed them most.

" Thank you, Renji" I whispered. He heard me and shrugged his shoulders at my words. There were many things, that I was thankful for, when it came to Renji and all my friends. It was that, they were there for me in my biggest time of need. " ...Thank you, for everything you have done for me", I continued for him to understand.

Renji tensed at my words, but relaxed once they sank into his thoughts. " You would have done the same for me, if I were in your position. You would have done the same for... Jinta. If he were still alive", he choked on his brothers name.

I looked over at him, and took one of his hands into mine. I knew talking about, his brother was something, that he didn't like to do. It was his soft spot, which he didn't have many of. Just to hear, him say his brothers name was something to be feel honored about. " I wouldn't even think about it, for a second" I told him.

If this was Renji or his brother, going through this. I was certain that, I was going to be there and help them through this to the every end. They were my family and friends, there was no way, that I was going to leave them in the dumps; when they needed me more than ever.

" How worried do you think, Ichigo is?" Renji asked me. I tensed at his question, and looked at the cars clock to see it was 7: 45 PM. I haven't spoken to Ichigo, since the beach. He was bound to be, pretty worried for me at the moment.

I looked out the window to see, that my apartment complex was in the near distance. I looked at the parking lot, to see a blank Benz in the parking lot. " He's here", I told Renji. The red head looked over, and smirked at the sight of the car.

" When was the last time, you spoke to him?" he questioned. I lifted three fingers into the air, and he chuckled at the sight. " Three days", he spoke as he laughed at me. He knew well enough, that Ichigo was going mad by now and was worried out of his mind. " He probably thinks you were kidnapped".

I groaned as he pulled into the parking lot, close to the Benz. " Yeah, I know. Wish me luck, Renji" I told him as I got out of the car. My eyes were glued on the Benz. Inside the car, was several medical files and a bag for Ichigo's cloths.

" Alright. Good luck" Renji said before reversing out of the parking lot and driving away. I leaned into the glass, trying to get a better view of the files. When, I looked closely I noticed my file; under all these other file that were on the seat.

_"He has my file. I need to tell him, before he reads it" _I thought to myself. With a soft push from the glass, I stood and began to walk towards the stair-case. I knew who was waiting for me, at the top of the stair.

" Rukia... open the door", I heard as I walked up the stair. The sound of banging was heard from the stairs causing me to sigh at Ichigo's admits. Only if he knew, I was right behind him. "I know your in there", Ichigo spoke to the wooden door.

I rolled my eyes and reached into my pocket for my keys. The metal keys clashed together, as I pulled them into the air. " Koursaki-kun, maybe she is sleeping", I froze at the voice and blinked. " Come on, we should leave her alone", that voice was one which I hadn't heard in days.

" Kuchiki-kun, I haven't spoken to her in days. There is something wrong, I know there is" Ichigo said. I looked over at the Benz and beside it was, a blue sports car. The only person I know who, drove a sports car was... Byakuya. " Perhaps, there is a spare key around here".

" Ichi-nii, don't. If something was wrong, the neighbors would have heard" I heard. I blinked at the voice of Karin. She was here too? With my brother? My boyfriend?

I rushed up the stairs, to see my brother and Karin looked at the surgeon who was trying to open the door. " Brother? Karin? Ichigo?" I questioned at the sight. The three turned and a relief expression appeared on their face. " W-W...What are you doing here?" I asked as I looked at my brother.

My eyes looked over my brother, with his tall body and muscular structure. I noticed that his skin was still pale, even though he went to the beaches of America. I looked straight into his serious grey eyes, and shivered at them. A breeze filled the silence, causing his short black hair to ruffle slightly.

Last time, I saw Byakuya; he had long hair and not as much muscle. He changed a lot since then. His arm must have doubled in muscle; his long hair was now short. The base of his hair was trimmed right to his head, but thick enough not to see his skin. On top, it was to a point slightly.

" Where have you been for three days?" Karin asked me. I snapped my glaze from my brothers appearance, and looked over to Karin. She was wearing her school uniform still. Her long hair was down and her bangs pinned up with clips. The sight of her white blouse, that was opened slightly and her plaid skirt; was something I rarely seen. Before, she came to the school, she would change into something more comfortable.

I held my breath and walked towards the door with my house key ready. " I-I...uh, had somethings to do" I told her. She smirked as, the sound of the lock opening was heard. I grabbed the knob and turned it with my hand, when I looked at my wrist; I noticed the hospital bracelet. Shit, I had one of those!

Ichigo looked at the brand and so, did my brother who sighed. " You went to the hospital", my brother said. I nodded my head and opened the door, to the three. I walked inside, to see the clean house. My eyes went to the kitchen table, were my journal was and my leukemia book. I had been looking through them, to see if there was something different about this time around. Sadly, there was one thing different than before.

My leukemia was getting worse faster, and my cancer was growing.

" Uh, yeah. I needed to for a little visit" I told my brother. I looked over at him and he shook his head, at my words. I figured he wouldn't believe me.

Karin closed the front door, and looked at the kitchen table to see the two books. She looked back at me, and then to her brother who was looking over the apartment as well. " What are the books for?" she asked me.

Byakuya looked over at the books. I noticed his grey eyes going dull at the sight of the two, before he looked over at me. When his eyes went to my wrist and then to the white bag in my hands; he bowed his head in sadness. He knew now. " Is it back?" he asked me.

I held my breath and looked over at the teen. " It's just to look at somethings in the past. I'm getting a new doctor and they need to have all my medical history, for me to be a patient. It's nothing really", I told her. It wasn't a lie. But it wasn't the full truth. I had to bring a copy of my medical records to Mashiro, today. I left the originals at home, to look over them tonight.

My brother looked up at me, and then to my wrist. I watched as he walked over. I kept a straight face, when he grabbed my wrist and looked at the band. " Nii-sama " I growled at him. He looked at me, with a narrow eye.

" Don't even, think about. If you got leu-" he went to say but, I cleared my throat. He looked behind him and saw the two Koursaki's watching. " Fine, we shall discuss this after" he released my wrist softly.

I sighed and rubbed my skin from his grip. My brother, was a man of strength; both mentally and physically. " Thank you", I said softly. He nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table, were Sode appeared from underneath. She must have went to hide, when Ichigo was banging on the door.

Ichigo looked over at my brother, who was grabbing the orange book into his hands. As Byakuya flipped the pages, the surgeon went to walk over to him but; he stopped himself from doing so. " The answer is in that book", he told himself. I looked over at my brother, as he looked through all my past with leukemia. When he noticed the surgeon staring, he closed the book and placed it to the side of the table.

" It is... Ichigo" I told him. He looked over at me and ran his fingers through his hair. Ichigo is was very smart man, I will say. But, he is a little rough when, it comes to puzzles... well, he was dense. Extremely dense. " I wanted to tell you, on the beach-" I tried.

He stopped me and grabbed one of my hands. " I told you, that I was going to figure it out and I will. Just give me, time to figure it out" he told me. That was the thing, that Ichigo really needed to stop. He needed to let me tell him, and not think he could figure it out without my help.

Heck, he should have gave up weeks ago. But, he was too pig headed and filled with pride. Damn him, and his pride! If it weren't for his ego, nothing bad would have happened that week. Fuck... What am I talking about? I loved his pride and his giant ego. Oh, Rukia... you're such an idiot.

" Fine. But, you need to figure it out soon" I told him. Karin looked over at us, and then to Byakuya who was smirking at the sight before him.

" Okay, I think you two should quit the eye porn" she snapped. I narrowed my eyes at her, and shook my head at her words.

" Where's you little fuck buddy, Toushiro? Isn't he always around you?" I snapped. My brother snorted and looked at the young teen, who blushed and glared at me. " You two, are literally porn", I teased.

Karin rolled her eyes and looked at Sode who, was cuddling into Byakuya who was sitting at the table watching us. " Whatever, I didn't come to argue" she said. " I and Yuzu, wanted to know if you were okay; because you weren't at the school for two days", I nodded at her words. I figure Yuzu and the other teachers, were wondering where I was. I just didn't think, they would send Karin, to see if I was okay. " Plus, I wanted to know, if you would come dress showing with me and Yuzu. My mom, is going to Tokyo, for some conference and we don't have anyone to help us. We aren't going to drag Ichi-nii or the old goat; cause that is just awkward" she said.

I smirked when, Ichigo glared at his sister for not inviting him. It was awkward looking for dresses with a guy, trust me, I knew that from experience. My brother was there, when I went dress shopping for my prom. He was no help at all. " I disagree with that. I went with Rukia, when she went to get a dress for prom" Byakuya stepped in.

I looked over at my brother and laughed at his words slightly. " Are you kidding me, you just sat there; thinking about how boring it was and how you want to get some food. You were no help, once-so-ever" I told him. He rolled his grey orbs and leaned back in his chair; causing Sode to leap onto his lap and snuggle into his chest. For some reason, the white cat loved my brother. Probably because, he choose her for me at the cat place.

" Either way, you got the dress you wanted and there wasn't any problems. Besides, my boredom. I mean, how many dresses do you need to try on; for one night?" he snapped.

" It's an important night you, Baka. It'll be worse, when I have to go look for a wedding dress in the future", I snickered. Byakuya groaned and banged his head on the table at my words. He was definitely going to be dragged, with me to look for a wedding dress. He wasn't going to get out of that.

" Isn't that, something that you can bring Renji, Kaien and Uryuu to? I mean, two of them are married and know, what the hell to look for on a dress. I'm an old man, who just needs to give you away; to the poor sucker at the end of the aisle" he told me. I narrowed my eyes at him and walked over to my brother. With a delicate hand, I grabbed my journal and smacked him over the head with it softly.

He groaned at the hit and grabbed the book from me. " You what? 38? You aren't that old. Besides, Kaien and Uryuu would run faster than me" I snapped. Byakuya raised a brow at me, for the speed comment. I knew my brother, was a really fast man, but when it comes to me; he was as slow as a turtle.

" I'm 35, to correct you on that! And I'm faster than, bother of them, put together" he told me with his nose in the air. I snickered at his actions, then he smacked me over the head with the book before quickly walking away; before I scurried after him. " Now, we are even, pixie".

I gapped at the name and looked over at Ichigo. " What the hell, did you do to my brother when I was gone? How long, have you two been alone with each other? Did you implant something in his brain?" I asked. Ichigo laughed at me and the nick, Byakuya gave me; but I brushed off his laughter. My brother, never made fun of my height. Not even as a kid.

" I didn't implant, anything in his brain. He must have picked it up, in America" the surgeon chuckled. He sighed and looked over at Karin. " Well, we will leave you two alone. There is tones of things, you guys need to catch up on". Ichigo walked over to me, and kissed me softly before walking over to the door; where is sister waiting. " I'll see you, tomorrow" he said before walking out of he apartment.

When the door closed, I sighed and looked over at Byakuya who slid my leukemia book over to the end of the table. " Spill" he demanded. I walked over to the table and took a seat infront of him. I grabbed the book and leaned over the table. I didn't know, what to say and I didn't want to tell him yet. But, here he was telling me to tell him. It was only fair, that I told him. He is my brother and guardian.

" Why did you come back to Karaukra? I thought, you weren't going to come back; this early" I asked him. He smirked and leaned back in his chair. One of his large arms wrapped around the chair to his left, causing his blue t-shirt to ruffle. I heard one of his feet tapping the hard-wood floor; and the ruffling of his washed out blue jeans.

"I called you three days ago, and you never answered. I called again, and you didn't answer. Finally, I called the school and heard you haven't showed up, in two days and I got worried. I jumped onto the jet and flew all the way here", he told me. I looked over at the answering-machine to see that there, were messages on it but; I didn't care for them really.

Byakuya was silent as, he waited for me to tell him what was going on and; what I was hiding from the world. I flipped to the back page in the book, only to see the latest doctor's report. " Brother", I started before looking up at him . " My leukemia is back..." I told him. He bowed his head at the news. I held my breath when, I noticed a single tear dance down his cheek.

I grabbed his hand in mind and held it tightly. " It's been going on for a while, but the doctor's just caught sight of it. I'm going to Tokyo, next week to get my cancer removed and treatments started", I told him.

Byakuya was silent as he covered my hand with his other one. What was he going to do? I felt his hand shaking slightly, as he held mine. " I was here for you, when you went through this before. I am here, for you till you defeat this one. I know you can" he told me. I watched as he looked up at me, with single tear gone from his face and his grey eyes filled with hope.

I nodded at his words and smiled at his words. " I get to take someone with me to Tokyo. I want to take, Ichigo with me; since he never has been through such things with me or... anyone" I told him. My brother sighed as he looked at the book on the table.

" I'm coming with you, as well. We can take the Kuchiki jet. I can stop my research for the cure, to help you fight. But, firstly... I want you and Sode to move back into Kuchiki manor for safety purposes. Your job at the school, will be okay for you, but when we get back from Tokyo, you are staying at home with me" he told me. I nodded at his words. I wasn't going to fight with my brother, because it was impossible to win against him. I tried before.

I knew that, my brother was going to be the one that I could count on. But, there was something I never liked, about this though. It was the way he dropped everything, for me and to just help me. I wanted him to keep going and to find the cure; but it was going to be on hold, so he can be there for me. I didn't want that, but I was going to argue with Byakuya. He was just being a good older brother, and helping me through something that, he knew might take me; away from him, forever.

_My brother know now... next is Ichigo..._ I thought. I didn't know, how I was going to tell the surgeon, but I figured it was going to be soon. Possibly, sometime this week. But there was one thing, that I was sure, I wasn't going to do.

Have sex with him, before I tell him about my cancer.

* * *

**EmpressMinea-** Sode may seem to be a little left out, because of Rukia's leukemia. But, she isn't neglected, she was just angry that Rukia wasn't there in the morning to feed her. Sode has a lot of those moments. For Ichigo being a coward, when he was being bullied; that is something that I needed to show the courage he gained over the years. For Rukia's suffering, it was to make her stronger in the future; so she can fight her leukemia. Alright, now this part is for the review in last chapter. Ha-ha. No, Sode didn't go with them to the beach. She stayed home. Sorry, about the mistakes. It was really late when, I edited chapter 16 and I probably, missed somethings. Thank you for telling me. For Ichigo and Rukia, not having sex. It will come soon, like in the next three chapters, but there will be something happening. Yuzu's bold moment, was something that I thought was important because; I think she would be like that if someone were rude or insulted her family. Since it is something, that all the Koursaki's really, hold as a family. Thank you for the reviews! Tell me, what you thought of this chapter.

**Xsamxp- **I bet a lot of people thought, they had sex when Rukia was wearing Ichigo's shirt. I thought that myself, when I read it over and thought about it. For number five on the Bucket List, that is a long way to go. You will see, what I got in store for you all; when it comes to sex. Sode and Rukia's little fight,was for humor and to show that, this isn't just a serious story because there will be; some funny moments. Playful moments, will happen a lot actually. Seeing as they are in the first stages of their relationships, it is important to have some fluff and not just seriousness; cause they kills the romance. I am so, happy that you love The Bucket List! Now, for your review for chapter 16. Ha-ha, Ichigo and his little friend will be lightening the mood. Plus, Rukia is just trying to keep him away because of her leukemia, and she doesn't want to make love with him before she tells him; because it is something special and with a huge secret like hers, it bound to hurt her lover; if he finds out after. Toushiro and Karin... man, they are one couple that I seem, to have a lot of fun with. Seeing as Karin and Toushiro, get along there has to be some fights with them. For the things he said to her, that is his little secret. Yuzu needed her time to shine at the beach. I mean, Karin got her moments and so, did Toushiro. Now, it's time for some Yu-Yu time! Also, she may be soft but there has to be a aggressive side to Yuzu. Especially with a father like Isshin, and her siblings. I'm thrilled you loved chapter 16 and 17. Tell me, what you thought of this chapter and what you hope to see in the next chapter. Thank you for the review, and hope to see another long one for this chapter.

**Star Fire Girl- **I'm so happy you loved chapter 15, for Rukia telling Ichigo; that is coming soon. For Tokyo, I will warn you that there will some twist and turns. Everyone, will see someone else's POV instead of Rukia's. Well, I'm thinking about that. I'm hoping for the story to pick up, in Tokyo because there is a huge twist coming soon. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought about this chapter.

**Ingrid- **Ha-ha I'm leaving the roof for a little bit, and there will be some different things going on. Good idea, but not so soon. Thank you for your review, I hope to see another soon.

**Rukia 13 BleachBeliver- **I'm glad you like Chapter. I'll make sure to proofread more, it just that now a days; I have a lot to do and I edit really late at night; so, I miss somethings. For the ranting, I just add in so, that there is more detail for the readers to understand the arguments and the point the character is making. But, I will make sure to look it over, and hopefully change some of the things in the rants and make them shorter. I like the chapters long, because it gives more detail and pulls the reader in, so they see what is happening in the scene. Well, that's just what I like. But, thank you for the review; I do like the advice and your opinion; it helps me get better and make sure that I change a few things. Thank you, and hope to hear from you again.

**RaginDoomFire - **Yeah, the beach is always fun; but there is also, one thing on the list that will make another scene. Thank you for the Review, hope to see another soon.

**zitag- **I am also excited for Tokyo, because it will bring the two closer and make the relationship seem almost like, it has been long but; it will be nice to see. I know how sad Rukia's, side it with her condition but; its to show a different look on Ichiruki and different situations. You will have to wait and see, what is going to happen in Tokyo. I have a good idea for it, but it will be a little twister for everyone. Thank you for the review and tell me, what you though of this chapter.

** .otaku - ** You review, was a very special one to me. To hear that I have a reader, who was in Rukia's position once, when she was child is something that I was hoping for. I got the idea for the Bucket List, from reading another story with Ichigo and Rukia; but Ichigo was dying and Rukia was a troubled teen. I thought to myself, that what if Rukia had it? I mean, I thought it would be nice to see what she felt as a patient and the decisions she makes as a person. I also, love the book and movie " A Walk To Remember" and got inspired by that as well. My neighbor, just got back home from fighting cancer and my great great grandmother, just fought cancer as well. In my family, we have a lot of cancer survivors. I myself, haven't went through it; but I am researching the cancer and looking at the treatments; also I'm watching medical data on Youtube about the treatments. If anything is not the way, it should be or if you want to tell me, some of the thing you experienced; I would love to hear them all. Thank you for the review, I hope to see many from you upon the leukemia and what you think.

Well guys, sorry for the late update. I have been working a lot and there is so much, I must do with the other stories. I have decided to not do the second Howling Moon this summer, and that I am taking down my Eflen Lied story, so I can fix it. The Change will be edited soon and, Silent Killer shall be updated soon. For Someone Else's War, I am going to pause it and put up Love of the Fight. I have a new story, coming out with another writer hopefully, called Tattoo's. If not, I will be posting the story for a preview of what, I have.

Thank you for all the reviews! Have a great week! Hope to speak to you all again,

Love Bleachlover2346


	18. Chapter 18

_The tide. _

_As the ocean waves come crashing upon my shore, I look out to see the water. _

_Just the way, it shimmers and sparks; reminded me of another shimmering item in my life _

_You, my love. _

_The way your orbs shimmer with happiness, when you smile and laugh at the world_

_Too, the rising tide in your eyes when sadness is covering your life.. _

_Like the oceans tides that rise and fall... you do too. _

_With your emotions. _

_I watch them everyday. _

_Every second... _

_and every breath that leaves my lungs. _

_I love your tides and the way, they change in a swift minute.. _

_If there was one thing in my world that, I loved the most... _

_it is you and those tide in your eyes. _

_I know the danger in your tides, just like the ocean._

_The sea, maybe able to swallow people from the shore... _

_But, your tide did something different to me.. _

_They swallowed my heart..._

I looked over my apartment as, I opened the front door. After my talk with brother, I had to decided one thing. If I was going to go live with him, there was something that I had to do.

I had to tell Ichigo about my leukemia.

My brother was surprised, when I told him that the surgeon didn't know. I was actually shocked that Ichigo hasn't figured it out yet. I mean, he was around me all the time, pretty much. Perhaps my cancer came to his mind, but he pushed it a side when he thought about it.

My eyes went to the clock on the wall, to see it was only seven in the morning. I had finally gotten up to go to work. Well, it wasn't just me. " Rukia, are you ready to go?" I looked over to the stair-case to see my brother.

If it weren't for Byakuya, I would have never woken up this early in the morning. I nodded my head and gripped my purse to my side. I was ready to go back to work and see all my students. But, most importantly... I wanted to see Ichigo again. " I'm as ready as I will ever be" I told him. He nodded and walked over to me.

I watched as he closed the door, causing the sight of my apartment to vanish from my eyes. I looked over at my brother and sighed. I knew he was going to do this, when he found out. Just like when I was a child and battling. He would make sure, that I was doing little activities and didn't tire myself out. I hated that. _"But, you need it!" _ a voice screamed in my head. I groaned silently at the thought of the beach, and the fact that I had tired myself out and paid the penalty for it.

My brother was just making sure, I was okay and that I was following doctors orders. Clearly, I was incapable of doing so. " Rukia, are you going to tell Koursaki today?" he asked me. I shrugged my shoulders and began down the stair-case, leaving my brother behind me.

Half way down the stair, he placed a hand on my shoulder causing me to stop and look over at him. His stern face and features stunned me at the moment. I never really saw Byakuya, when he was being serious. Usually, he was happy and playful. " You need to tell him. Stop denying it. The more, you put it off... the more it will hurt him in the end", he told me. I already knew all this. I wanted to tell Ichigo, but I couldn't bring myself to doing it. Why?

I held my breath as I thought of all the ways, I could tell Ichigo. I snapped myself out of the thought, and looked over at my brother who was still looking at me with his grey eyes. " How did Hisana-nee, tell you?" I asked him. I never knew how my sister told him about her breast cancer. I remembered how she told me.

It was one night when, I was going to bed. She was going to read me 'The Princess and The Frog', but I asked her why we had been going to the doctor's so much. She just answered me with the usual thing that parents or siblings say: _I'm very sick, Rukia. I need to see the doctor and see how, I can get better so I can be with you. _ From there, she told me about her cancer and told me, she was dying from it and was trying to get help.

Back then, I never understood my sister and why she decided to tell me about it, like she had. But, now that I am older and in her shoe's now; I understood what she had done and why she had told me like that.

I was too young, to understand the real meaning of having cancer. I needed the sickness to be explained, but that wasn't a grantee that I would understand. Hisana told me before bed, because she knew that I would sit up and think about what she had said. Unlike normal kids, bed-time stories didn't put me to sleep. They caused me to stay up and think about everything, to why the main character did something to tiny details. I was weird.

My brother was tense at my question. I knew, bring up Hisana was still a little soft spot to him. His hand dropped from my shoulder and his eyes left mine, and went to the stairs. I looked at the expression on his face and shook my head. I should have never asked him, such a question. " Nii-sama..." I trailed off, as I looked at him. He looked broken and un-certain for once.

Byakuya being the stubborn and strong headed male I knew, shook off my question and finished his journey down the stairs with his spark back in his eyes. I wondered, what he did to get his spark back. Was there a special way? Did he think of something or someone? Perhaps, he thought of my sister and how he loves her. I would never know the answers to my questions.

I watched as he walked to his sports-car, with his blue jeans that shaped his long legs. He turned causing his salmon colored dress-shirt to flutter in the breeze and his movements. I looked over his body, I still wasn't used to seeing my brother like this. He looked so, lose and relax... like an American. His soft black hair flew slightly on top of his head and a smirk crossed his pale lips. " Come on, Rukia. We don't want you to be late for work, Koursaki might worry even more" he teased before opening his car door.

I blinked at his comment and quickly descended the stair-case. As my wedges touched the pavement a soft clicking sound was heard. I looked down at the shoe's to see, the soft flower print. My fingers straightened the dress on my body causing the material to ruffle and crunch in my ears. My delicate fingers caused the flower print fabric of my dress, to mold and shape to their touch.

Today, I decided to wear a dress because it was beautiful day and I rarely wore dresses. It seemed like something, that was needed for such a day. Especially since Byakuya, had changed so much from his American trip.

I quickly walked to the car and looked around the parking lot, with it's several cars from residences and a few children heading to class for the day. The tree's close by were awakening and the leave blew slightly in the morning breeze, causing a chill to travel down my back. I gripped my lace sweater in my hands and pulled it over my chest, trying to get some warmth from the material.

Climbing into the car, I sighed and looked at the apartment building. How long was it going to be, until I was back in the manor with my brother? What was going to happen to this place, the place I called my home? I was going to be upset about leaving my apartment because it was a huge goal, for me to actually live on my own and pay my own bills. Since, I have lived with Byakuya for most of my life.

I closed my violet orbs as the car came roaring to life. I was never one, to drive to work because it was better to walk, but I didn't know how walking was going to effect me since my leukemia caused me to become tired. I listened as my brother gripped the stick and pulled it, into drive and began to leave my apartment complex.

Byakuya looked over at me, with his grey orbs and then to dress. " I thought you hated dresses", he commented. I looked at him quickly next to me, and noticed the slightly wonder that shimmered in his orbs.

I looked down at the dress. It was strapless but, I wore a sweater to cover my chest and top area. The chest area was a normal design with no heart shape look, or anything fancy. Pinks, blues, purples and yellows were in the flower print and the base color was a creamy like yellow. I bought the dress a year ago, but it had been sitting in my closet for the longest time.

It was true. I didn't like dresses. They gave me the fear and discomfort, when I thought of some of the women who's dresses blew up from a strong breeze or some perverted men or teens lifting it up to see underneath. Luckily, for me I had young children to work with and my own boyfriend was going to be there, to make sure my dress stays down. Either that, or he was going to be the one; I have to watch.

" Well, there is always a time for a change of attire. I mean, look at you. You got the whole relaxed and cool look going on. Where did the suit and tie, disappear to?" I spoke. Byakuya looked over at me and rolled his eyes at my comments about his attire. He wasn't one for the whole suit and tie look, but he wore it a lot. It was because of the business he was in and all the things he had to do for work. He dressed in a suit and tie, because he didn't know when there was going to be a surprise meeting for him to attend on short notice.

I smirked when he ran his fingers through the top of his hair, and shook his hair slightly at the touch " I look like a total sex magnet", he winked. A burst of laughter left my lips at his words and the seduction in his voice. " I'm making all the ladies in Karakura want me, just with a wink and a smile. Eh, Rukia?" he joked. I held my stomach as I laughed.

In the mist of all my laughter, I could hear my brother chuckling as well. I sighed and looked out the window to see a large building where several teenagers were walking. The High-school was something which I didn't enjoy going by, when heading to work. When I looked at the eight-story building, all I thought about was my past with bullying and all the nightmares I had of the school. " I thought you loved your long hair", I commented to Byakuya.

He snapped a glance towards me and shook his head at my comment. " I do. But, I think it's time for me to make a few changes here and there. I mean, I'm 35 and still taking care of my little sister, something has to change besides my lifestyle now" he snickered.

I looked over at my brother when, he said he was taking care of me. I didn't think, I was the much of a problem to him. I mean, I didn't want him to take care of me; but that was kind of hard to say when he's done so much for me and doesn't take _no _for an answer. " If I'm a problem or hassle to take care of... you don't have to take care of me. I'm old enough now, to take care of myself-" I tried but he stopped me.

His grey eyes burned into mine as we reached a stop sign. " Never say that. You are my sister, I love you and I want to take care of you. I know, you would rather take care of yourself and be independent. But, this is something that you need more than yourself to over come" he told me. I searched through his grey eyes, only to see the several years of my treatment in his eyes. Byakuya was right. I shouldn't think that, I could do this by myself. That was literally impossible. Just look at me now. I can't get up for work without someone coming over to my apartment and waking me up; I've been to the hospital twice for two leukemia problems, I have over tired myself and gotten myself into trouble with telling people about my cancer. Yeah, I was doing just great on my own.

Byakuya gripped one of my delicate hand in one of his large one. " Rukia, we are family. Family is here till the end, sickness or in health. I'm not going to let you, just sit there and die. I will do everything in my will, to help you fight and win this battle" he told me. It made my heart flutter at the news. I knew my brother was going to be there, till the end of everything. But, I didn't know if he was going to accept the fact; I was taking most of his life away. " You're never alone", he whispered to me before kissing my fore-head.

I smiled at the gesture of the kiss. It was nice, to see my brother was still the same caring person he was when, I was younger. " You're a Kuchiki. We don't let our family wither and die. Unless, we have done everything possible to help them" he told me. The car began to move and we passed the stop sign. " Even though, about 99% of them have a stick shove up their ass and act like their shit don't stink", I was shocked at his words. I know, he didn't really like the rest of the family but; he never spoke of them in vain.

I didn't comment about his hatred he had for the family now. It was better off, that I didn't touch on it at the moment. " I see", I said in a soft voice. My brother sighed and stopped the car. I looked out the window to see the school with Rangiku on the yard greeting all the students. The teacher looked over to the car and waited to see who was going to step out of the car.

Byakuya looked over to Rangiku who was staring " Well, it looks like someone is waiting to see you" he said as he looked at the wife-to-be. " I'll see you tomorrow at the same time", he told me. I looked at him with question in my eyes.

" I thought, you were going to take me home after work" I spoke. He smirked and looked over to my classroom window. A smile broke his lips when he saw the color orange. I quickly looked over to see, Ichigo looking out the window. I wonder, what he is going to do now that we were alone and my brother in the room.

Yesterday the worry that he showed at my apartment, wasn't something that I thought I would see for the surgeon. I thought that I would see more, anger and worry in his eyes but it wasn't there. Then there was the fact, that my brother was in the room and so was Karin. Ichigo wasn't one to show his emotion when others are around; it was his protection from people. " I wonder what he is going to say..." I trailed off at the thought.

Byakuya smirked and unlocked the doors from his the driver-seat. " Why don't you get out of my car and find out, instead of sitting there and thinking about it" I heard him say. I groaned at his gesture and opened the car door letting the warm breeze fill the car. " Have fun, sis. Don't work too hard, I don't need you back in the hospital" he teased. I closed the door and narrowed my eyes as he rolled down the window.

" We both know, that I am going to be back in a hospital no matter what I do" he sighed and nodded at my words. " Bye, Nii-sama" I told him before turned and walking towards the school. I heard my brothers car driving away and another parking.

Rangiku's eyes went wide at the sight of me. " R-Rukia-chan" she squealed before running out of the gates. I froze when the women appeared in front of me, and wrapped me into a bear-hug. Instead of having air to breath, like a normal hug would; I got her breast smothering me and choking me.

" R-Rangiku-san" I choked. If she wasn't going to let me go, I was going to die from her breast. " C-Can't breath" I gasped causing her to release me from her breast. I gasped for air and coughed slightly, as I looked at the women. " How the fuck, does Gin like those?" I whispered to myself.

" Where the hell were you!" she growled under her breath. I snapped my head up at her and then to the students, most of them were mine and they were staring at the fact that I was at the school.

I held my breath as I looked at the teacher. " I had something happen to me-" I tried but she stopped me, from stating my words correctly and properly.

" For two days? Do you know how worried I and Nemu were? Your students were starting to think that, you left the country and weren't going back! Shiba-kun even became worried, not to mention Ishida-kun-" I had to stop her. I knew that everyone was worried about me, but there was nothing I could do or say to take it back.

I looked over to the window to see that Ichigo was watching with his amber eyes. I really needed to talk to him about everything. " I understand, that everyone was worried for me. But, I was ill and I had to take care of the sickness" I told her. She nodded stiffly and looked over at the students.

" You should go get ready for your class", she told me. I nodded and smiled at her softly before walking to the front door of the school and stepping inside. The smell of paper and glue swarmed my nose, as I walked down the hallway.

I felt a warm feeling rise in my stomach at the sight of all the pictures the students made. It felt like forever, since I was in the school instead of only two days. A smile covered my lips as I came to the two sliding doors which lead to my classroom. The touch of the brass handle caused me shiver to run down my spine. " It feels good to be back", I whispered to myself as I slid the door open.

I looked around my orange classroom and smile at the color. For some reason, I wasn't hating the orange today. Instead, I was enjoying it. The sight of my desk all neat and tidy, caused me to wonder how it got so neat in the first place. I wasn't really a messy person, but when I left on Friday is wasn't neat, the papers were all over my desk and pens were scattered.

Now, all the papers had vanished and the pens were in my Chappy pencil holder. Everything was cleaned up and tidy. I looked at the desks to see that they were all in order and weren't messy and cluttered. Who did this?

Ichigo tapped my shoulder from the wall he was standing at, causing me to jumps and shout in surprise. I knew he was in the room, but I didn't know where. I took a deep breath and calmed my heart from the scare. I looked at the handsome surgeon and noticed the odd look of question in his eyes. "Ask me, whatever is on your mind", I told him.

He tensed at my knowing of his questions. " What makes you think that, I have anything to ask you?" I raised a brow at his question and walked over to my desk. In placed my purse on the wooden surface and sat in the leather chair. It felt right to be back.

" Are you really asking me that?" I snorted. Ichigo rolled his eyes and closed the sliding door, causing me to sit up from my slouch. From the gesture of privacy, I figured that something big was on his mind.

" I am. I also want to know, why you didn't call me to take you to the hospital? I work there and I was right down the road from you", his voice sounded hurt. Did me asking Renji to take me to the hospital, hurt him in some way? I didn't see, where it might hurt him or cause him to think it was a lack of trust. The only reason why, I asked Renji was because he was the only one who really, knew of my leukemia and he has been through it all before with his brother.

I looked at Ichigo with wonder. " I didn't ask you to take me, because I didn't know if you were working at the hospital or if you were here helping", I told him.

I smirked and crossed his arms over his chest as a smirk covered his lips. " Okay then. Why did you ask Renji to take you?" he questioned. I blinked at his knowledge and was dumbfounded at his words. How did he know about Renji? " I and Karin saw him, driving away from your apartment building when we left", I groaned . Renji didn't really know his way out of the parking lot. Apparently there were too many, twists and turns for him to remember the way.

" Ichigo, what are you trying to get at?" I asked him. He knows that, I and Renji are best friends and that Renji was someone to trust with me. Renji was someone, I knew would be there for me through this because he knows how it felt or to see. Was Ichigo jealous of Renji? Did he think there was something going on? Perhaps, he thought I didn't trust him enough to take my to the hospital. " A-Are you jealous of Renji or something?" I asked with a stutter. I never thought he would be the type to get jealous.

Ichigo blinked at my question and shook his head at me. " Why would I be jealous of someone dating Tatsuki?" he chuckled. I sighed and leaned back in my chair at his words.

" Why are you acting like this then?" I asked him. He tensed at my words and leaned over my desk quickly. " Are you mad that, I didn't come to you like most girls would saying: _'Oh Koursaki-kun, you're so handsome, smart and strong. Can you do, little ol' me a favor and drive me to the hospital? I know, you can take care of me but... I believe it is only right'_" my voice went high and pitched for the other women. I noticed the deep scowl on Ichigo's lips at my words.

I stood from my deck and looked over at the door, where I could see the silhouette of Nemu. " Listen, sweet-cheeks. I'm not like others women, I don't depend on men and I am capable of taking care of myself. I asked Renji because, he was available and he knew where my new hospital is. He's also skilled with my illness, in some way. Don't take it to heart, but it was the first person who came to mind yesterday when I decided to go" I told him. He blinked at my words and looked over at the door, to see Nemu's shadow. I thought he wasn't going to say anything, since the teacher was right outside the door. But, I was wrong.

" Yesterday? What about Sunday and Monday? Where were you? You didn't come to work, you didn't answer my text messages or phone calls. Nobody got a hold of you and you didn't call in sick. Rukia, tell me what is going on" he demanded at the end. I looked around my room and then to the door to see that Nemu had left. Probably heard I and Ichigo's discussion, and thought she would come back later to talk to me.

He wasn't going to let this discussion go. Ichigo was set on getting the information out of me, now and not later on. Why didn't he do this yesterday? When, I thought about yesterday the only thing that, came to my mind was the fact that my brother was there. Wait... he didn't do this because of my brother.

I growled slightly in frustration for his constant questions and went to the window, I saw Rangiku getting the students in line and ready for class to start. " I'm not getting into an argument with you over such foolishness. What I do when, I am not here is my business. My health and choices are my business. If you have a problem with my choices, then... that's something I'll live with" I told him.

Ichigo went to speak but, the roar of the students in the hallway caused him to stop. I sighed at my saviors and forced a smile on my lips for my students. I placed a hand on Ichigo's causing him to look up at me. " I know you are worried for me. But, I need you to understand that when I'm ready to come to you for help... I will" I told him. My eyes were glued to his amber's, watching the mighty swirls of relief and happiness dance. " I went to Renji, because he knows about my illness and he knows how to handle me with doctors" I continued. I placed a hand on his rough cheek and searched his eyes once again, trying to find something for courage. " I love you, Ichigo. I want you to know, what is wrong with me but...I'm waiting for you to figure it out", I whispered as our lips brushed.

I blushed when he kissed me softly. My eyes fluttered shut and my mind when blank at the touch. A warm feeling covered my lips as his moved softly against mine. I leaned my body into his, to deepen the kiss but he pulled away and with a thumb played with my petal lips. " I love you, but I just don't want to lose you", he whispered.

I gave him a questionable look at his words. " You're not going to lose me" I told him. I was about to tell him more to reassure him so more, but the two doors opened.

**Kuchiki-sensi!**I smiled at the happy voices of my students. I looked over at them all and smiled brightly at every one of them. My students were definitely something, I was going to miss the most when I had to leave for Tokyo.

* * *

The day went on rather quickly. Time flew by quickly and soon, I was left in my classroom with Ichigo again. The students were gone home and happy for my return. I didn't think they would miss me, as much as they had. When they saw me in the classroom again, and with Ichigo they didn't pay any mind for the surgeon; but rushed over to me and hugged me like it was the last time they were going to see me.

I closed my eyes and laid my head on the wooden desk, I was sitting at. I was exhausted again. I didn't know why thought, I didn't do much activity. I just sat at my desk and taught the students, that wasn't much movement and work. _I guess, I'm not well enough to come to work. Wow, that's a big step_ I thought.

My thoughts were interrupted, when the sound of giggling and laughing entered the school. I snapped my head upward and looked over at Ichigo; who was at the chalk-board easing the last lesson. I looked over to the sliding door only to see two figured open them. I smirked at the sight of Karin and Yuzu, both in their school uniforms.

" Ichi-nii", Yuzu sang causing her brother to look over at her and Karin. I rest my head upon my arm and looked at Karin. I raised a brow at the sight of the blush on her lips and the long look in her eyes. Something happened and I wanted to know, what it was. " Guess, what happened today at school", Yuzu cheered. I didn't look at the sandy blonde as she spoke, my eyes were attacted to the black haired beauty who was blushing like a little school girl.

Ichigo looked over his sister and then to the chalk-board he was cleaning. There was something about the whole thing which he seemed to not like. " ...Okay? What happened?" he asked. I noticed that he was holding back when he asked the questions. He probably didn't want to hear about some drama that happened at the High-school. Heck, when you leave you think all the drama had disappeared and there wasn't any following you. Well, that was wrong. Drama was everywhere you went.

Yuzu squealed at her brothers words and bounced in her spot. I had never say the teen so giddy and excited like this. Perhaps she needed to go to the washroom, or there was something that was really on her mind. " I was asked to prom", she exclaimed. I smirked at the news. It was obvious that Yuzu was going to be asked, she was the more popular and girly twin. There was bond to be a boy, who wanted to take her to prom.

Ichigo looked at his sister and then to Karin, who was still blushing and silent. " How wonderful. Who's the lucky guys, I get to punch in the throat when he comes to get you?" he asked with his protective side showing. I snickered to myself, when Yuzu gaped at her brothers words. It was probably her first time, hearing her brother threaten someone with such violence.

" You're not punching Rumtako-kun, in the throat!" she exclaimed. Karin smirked at her sisters words and sighed softly. I kept my eyes on the silent teen. There was something on her mind, and I had a feeling it involved prom or something with romance. She was never good with romance, even when watching '_Letters to Juliet'_ she was bored and hated the thought of two people falling in love so quickly. I knew were she was coming from. It was unrealistic to think two people can fall in love, in five or more days. Especially, when they were total strangers at first.

" It's Rumtako-kun, they one who was kicked out of the High-school in the country for sleeping with a teacher?" I asked. There were tiny things, here and there that teacher in my school heard about the high-school students.

Ichigo tensed at the news and looked at his sister with a narrow eye. " There is no way in hell, you are going to the prom with some horny kid who seems to want more than he can handle", he told Yuzu. The sandy blonde's aura went cold as she stared at her brother. She wasn't happy with his comment and threats. Let alone his judgment towards her prom date.

" First of all, that was a rumor that went around. Rumkato-kun never slept with a teacher. He came to Karakura High, because his mother moved away from their old town when his father past. Secondly, Ichi-nii and Rukia-sama you don't know him" she told us.

Karin looked at her twin and rolled her eyes. " Do you even know him?" she asked her sister. Yuzu's breath went to a stuttered at her question and a blush covered her cheeks at the comment.

" O-O-Of course, I know him" Yuzu defended. Karin snorted and walked over to my desk, where she leaned on the wooden surface with her palm behind her.

" Okay then, Yu. When's his birthday?" Karin asked her. I looked at the teen at my desk, to see that she wasn't blushing anymore and that she was back to her normal self. Mood swings, maybe?

Yuzu thought about the date of her dates birthday. It was rather funny to see the blonde think about something, to defend her case to her own sister. " August 27th " she answered.

Karin chuckled at her answer " It's today", she told her sister who blushed at her words. Yuzu blinked at her sister and shook her head. I chuckled myself at the lack of knowledge Yuzu had for the boy. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either.

Sometimes, knowing little about someone is the best thing.

" Oh hush! Who's asked you to prom?" Yuzu teased. Karin went quiet at her sisters comment.

I looked over at Karin and noticed the straight expression on her lips. She was thinking about something. Perhaps someone asked her but, she said she would think about it. I wonder who asked her. Probably someone from her soccer team or football team, it was obvious that most of them had some kind of crush on her. Jocks love a girl who could hold their ground.

Yuzu was silent as she looked at her sister expression. " Who asked you today, Karin?" she asked with a soft tone. Karin snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her sister. She shook her head and waved her hand at Yuzu, who blinked at her relax state.

" Don't worry about it" Karin told her sister. I didn't buy her relax act, I knew something was on her mind and I wanted to know, now.

Ichigo noticed Karin's act as well. He turned his attention to his sister and looked at me quickly. There wasn't anything that seemed to by us, when it came to the two girls. We knew them to well, especially Karin. " Cut the bull-shit, Karin. Tell us, who asked you" Ichigo demanded. Karin was tense at her brothers demand.

When the teen went tense, I figured it was someone she was really close to. So, it was definitely someone on the soccer team and in her group of friends. "Toushiro, wasn't it ?" I commented. The teen gripped my desk tighter in her hand and shadowed her face from our sights.

Ichigo walked over to his sister and placed a hand on his shoulder. " Come on, tell us" he said. I tapped his arm softly catching his attention, I shook my head when his eyes were on me. I didn't think, it was a good idea to press the subject. It seemed to be a soft spot for Karin.

" No, it was Kuto from my football team-" she answered causing Yuzu to squeal. I didn't think Karin thought it was something to squeal about since her tone of voice was flat and quiet. " Toushiro hasn't asked me at all. The only think he's asked me, is who he should ask". I tensed at the news and bowed my head slightly. It was obvious that Karin liked the white haired teen, so being asked something like, who he should take to prom was going to hurt.

Yuzu stopped squealing at the news and walked over to her sister. Her arms wrapped around her twin and pulled her into a embrace. " He's just dense" she told her sister. Ichigo stood beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder as he looked at his sisters hugging. It was nice to see the care they have for each other, especially in situations like this.

With a hand, I covered Ichigo's and looked up at the surgeon. He looked down into my violets and then to his sisters. The look of displeasure was on his face as he looked at Karin.

During my time with Ichigo, there was something that I learned and knew better than anyone. When it came to his sisters emotions, he was protective and hated seeing them hurt or in tears. When someone hurt them, it was like they punched him in the face and he was ready to kick their ass. He was like that with all the girls he cared for in his life. Especially, our little gifts. He loved his girls and would go through hell to make them happy.

In all the silence of the sad news, I decided to speak up and ask a new question instead of letting the old linger in the air. " Did you give Kuto an answer?" I asked causing the teen to look at me. When she shook her head, I figured she was going to see if Toushiro was going to ask her to the prom. Honestly, I hoped that she would make a decision. She didn't want to be the girl who keeps a guy waiting.

On that Wednesday, there was something that I saw different in the Koursaki's. Especially Karin and Ichigo. They can get jealous, their pride was their everything. But mostly, they loved hard and never let go. That was the first time I was Karin hurt and her walls were down. Usually, she was protected by her walls and didn't let anything, really get to her.

* * *

As the night came to the sky and the sun vanished, all was silent in the street. Well, almost. The sound of laughter was on the street, from the warm house in the middle of the lane. The lights of the Koursaki house were on and burning into the darkness of the night, making everything light with life.

In the house sat the Koursaki's, but not all of them. Masaki and Isshin were at the table with I and Ichigo. Yuzu was there as well, laughing with us about her little accident at the school with Karin and her information on Rumtako-kun.

I chuckled softly as my eyes went to the stair-case. Once Ichigo drove us to the house, Karin ran upstairs and hadn't come down. It has been about four hours since, I saw her last and I was getting worried for her. _" She must be heart-broken" _I thought. It must have hurt to know, that they one you love didn't love you in return. I knew her pain all too well.

In my high-school years, I went through her tears as well. I had crushes on boys and thought they liked me in return. That was what, all my bullies told me. At the time; I and Renji would fight about the bullies and how they were lying to me. I didn't want to believe him, so I went and spoke to my crush. Usually they would ignore me and roll their eyes, until they got annoyed and yelled at me to get lost. From there, I ran home in tears and Renji would follow after me only to find me hyperventilating in my brothers arms.

Boys can be cruel. They can be mean and hurtful to the one's who see them as someone different and special. But, then there were the boys who changed everything and became the man; you always dreamed. Like Ichigo.

He was the worse to me in High-school, but now he was the sweetest and the most loving man to me. Men do grow up and change, it's just a matter of time or a event that slaps them into being different.

I glanced down to my knee, where I and Ichigo's hands were. Finger laced together and hands clamped. It was a heart warming sight for me, and I loved to look at it. I smiled when he tightened his hold on my hand, causing me to look up at him.

The young surgeon leaned down and kissed me softly causing me to blush at the affection. " Hey! No sex at my table, I don't need to clean up sperm from my wooden eating surface", Masaki joked. I and Ichigo pulled away quickly and blinked at the beautiful women.

" Masaki-san, we weren't... I mean-" I tried, but my mind was jumbled from the kiss and her words. I wasn't going to sleep with Ichigo in front of his family, that was wrong and not my thing. _You are the one, who wants to have sex on a roof. People watching, is your thing_, I blushed at the voice in my head and shook causing my raven locks to move slightly.

" Awe, my sweet Masaki! Our boy is just going to make us grandparents faster! Let them, use the table!" Isshin whined. I choked at his words and blushed at his words. First it was Karin and Isshin but now it was Masaki and Isshin. What a family.

Ichigo quickly punched his father in the face causing him to fall back in his chair, and hit the ground with a loud bang. I didn't gasp or ask the old doctor if he was okay. I actually cuddled into Ichigo because, Isshin deserved a good punch in the face for his comment. " SHUT UP OLD MAN!" Ichigo shouted, causing him to get a laugh from his mother and sister.

" G-Good hit...my boy", Isshin struggled to say. I giggled at the sight of the thumbs up he gave his son, from the ground.

" I don't think there will be any babies soon, Isshin-kun" I told him. I raised the glass of water to my lips and began to drink the liquid from the glass.

" What? I want to be a dad some day, what are you talking about?'' Ichigo snapped. I coughed at his words and placed my glass down on the table quickly, before snapping my head towards the orange haired man.

My eyes widened as, I understood his words. " Are you out of your, damn mind? We just started dating! Kids is way, way, way, way down the ro-" I shouted.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rukia-san. If my son didn't knock you up yet, he will eventually" Masaki interrupted. I felt light headed at her words and banged my head on the wooden table muttering the words _" Kill me, already" _. Ichigo placed his hand on the table perverting me from hitting my head.

" Yup, I got super sperm. So, first pregnancy will probably be with twins or triplets" he said. I couldn't believe what he was saying. Was he serious about the whole kids subject? I mean, I would love to have children but; I didn't know if I could have children. The topic was a soft spot and a rather humorous topic.

In my head I could see Ichigo and I, with children. Perhaps a little boy, with short raven hair and amber orbs. Even a daughter with long orange hair and violet eyes. My thoughts of children were wiped away, when I thought about the chances of me actually having children.

**DING!**

**DONG!**

The sound of the door bell caused me to snap my head, from it's motions and look over towards the door. I heard Masaki stand from her seat and walk towards the door, as the laughter of the three at the table continued. I blocked out Ichigo, Isshin and Yuzu's laughter.

My eyes stayed on the smiling women as she walked to the door. Her auburn locks swirled in her step, jeans rustled in her step and her t-shirt wrinkled as she grabbed the knob of the door. I held my breath as she opened the wooden door open.

I blinked at the sight and heard the laughter die. Ichigo looked over quickly and narrowed his eyes at the person who stood at the door. I gripped his hand tighter trying to keep him from going and causing something, that wasn't needed tonight. " Ichigo, don't even think about" I growled loud enough for him to hear. He tensed and looked at me quickly, probably to see if I was serious or not.

I snapped my eyes to Yuzu who was tense at the sight and appearance. Her brown eyes scanned over the person, before going dull and causing her to bow her head. She didn't think they would come to the house, let alone at this time of night.

Looking back at Masaki, I noticed the bright smile on her lips as she looked at the person. " Toushiro-kun, what a pleasure. I didn't think you were coming over tonight" she said with a sweet voice. Ichigo went to get up but, I held him down with my hand. He didn't need to get involved with Karin's business.

Toushiro smiled at the women and looked over to me, before meeting the eyes of the furious surgeon next to me. " Uh, Masaki-san... is Karin in?" he asked. The white haired teen shoved his hands into his jean pockets, and leaned back as he looked up at the house looking for Karin's window. He shook his head when, he didn't see her window lite with her light. " It seems like she isn't", he commented.

Masaki shook her head and allowed the teen inside the house. " She's upstairs in her room, she been in there since she got home. Probably think about, what to do after High-school. You know Karin, she always likes to plan things out and make sure it's all going to work out" she told him. I smirked mentally at her words. Only if she knew the truth to Karin's disappearance.

Toushiro's eyes went dull at the thought and he leaned back again. " Perhaps I shouldn't interrupt her..." he trailed off, but the women hushed him. I sensed that there was something on the teens mind. Just looking at Toushiro, he looked down and sad about something... almost disappointed.

The way his black-hoodie slumped over his body and his blue jeans hung with no care. His wondrous aqua eyes were dull and life-less. What was on his mind? " Just go right up, someone needs to see her", Masaki told the teen. Toushiro nodded and kicked off his sneakers before walking up the stairs avoiding the death glares from Ichigo.

When he was out of view, I grabbed my water and chugged it down. " What are you doing, Spider-Monkey?" Ichigo asked me. I glared at the name and slapped him at the back of the head, for the comment. I hated his comments and insults upon my height, but is was something that made our relationship work, I guess.

When the glass was empty, I stood from the table and scurried to the stairs. " I'm going to listen in" I told him quickly causing him to blink as I vanished.

The hallway was dark as I walked up the stairs with my glass in hand. **Knock. Knock. **Toushiro's knuckles on the wood was heard causing me to hide behind the wall. The door opened causing a cricking sound to be heard. I looked over to see Karin looking at the male with her grey eyes. " Karin, let me-" he tried but she slammed the door shut before he could finish.

Toushiro growled and banged his head on the door in annoyance. " Karin open the door now" he demanded. There was no answer from the girl and there wasn't any noise from the room.

Minutes went by and Toushiro was pleading for the girl to open her door, but she didn't comply. I felt bad for the boy, he was trying to talk to the girl but she was being difficult. She was being a Koursaki.

Toushiro sighed and leaned into the door, hoping she would open it and let him inside. " Why him?" he asked himself. I blinked and placed the glass on the step softly. " Don't you get it, you Baka? " he whispered. I watched as he slid down the door to his knee's causing me to place a hand on my heart. He looked so heartbroken. " Just...Just open the door" he whispered.

I watched as the knob turned slowly and the door opened slowly revealing Karin. She wore a baggy white shirt that flooded her body, shorts that went to her low thigh and made her legs longer than they really were. Her long black hair was pulled up into a pony-tail revealing her long neck and perfectly shaped face.

The lights new lights in the room flooded the hallway causing Toushiro, to stand from the floor and look into her grey watery eyes. One of his hand cupped her cheek softly causing her to snuggle into his cold touch. I gaped at the sight of a tiny tear leaving her eyes and touching his skin. I never saw Karin cry before.

The two were silent but seemed to read each other like a book. Without being with each other, they knew something was wrong with the other and that they needed them. One was sad the other was sad. They were one.

Toushiro wrapped his arms around Karin and pulled her into an embrace causing her to grip his sweater tightly in her hands. She buried her face into his shoulder and held him close. " Are you kidding me?" I heard whispered from behind me. I looked over and saw, my idiot of a boyfriend looking at the scene.

I grabbed Ichigo hand and pulled him quickly to the steps, trying to keep him hidden. " Shh... Karin will kick your ass, if she knows you're watching her and Toushiro" I whispered causing him to shut-up. He looked down at my glass that was resting on the steps and smirked.

" You were really going to do something that dumb?" he snickered. I narrowed my eyes at him and looked at his hand to see he had a glass too.

" You were no different. You have a glass too, Baka" I told him. He scowled at the glass and placed it behind mine.

I turned my eyes back to the teens only to see Karin pulling Toushiro into her room. " Oh la la, someone is getting some tonight" I jumped at the new voice and looked over to see Isshin and Masaki over-top of I and Ichigo. I noticed they both had glasses and behind them was Yuzu watching her sister.

" Are you kidding me?" Ichigo whispered at the sight of his family. He looked at me and then to the door that closed softly, leaving the two teens alone. " I know not to bring Rukia home for our first night together" he whispered to himself. I winked at him softly and crawled over to the door with my glass ready. Ichigo followed me and sat beside me with his glass pressed against the door.

I placed my ear on the glass only to hear Toushiro speaking " Why Kuto? We all know that guy just wants you for your body. Are you nuts?" he asked as he looked at the girl sitting on her bed. " I mean, really Kuto? You had to say _yes_ ?" he continued. I rolled my eyes at his words, he was jealous it was literally dripping from his voice.

" I don't know what the problem is, he asked me to prom and nobody did. I waited for someone and they never asked me, I got tired of waiting. So, I said yes to Kuto" Karin snapped. I looked over at Ichigo who smirked and looked into my eyes, before looking above us to see his father, mother and sister listening to the teens.

Toushiro paced the room and ran his fingers through his hair. " He wasn't the only one, who was going to ask y-"

" Who else, Toushiro?! Prom is in three weeks, everyone has a date but me and Kuto! You're taking that, Yoko bitch" Karin interrupted. I whistled softly at her snapped and chuckled at her additude.

Toushiro stopped and walked over to the girl, he towered over her and narrowed his eyes into her grey ones. " Yoko? Yoko? She asked me, and I said no! What the fuck, are you hearing now-a-days? I have no date!" he snapped back. Isshin snickered at Toushiro and the way he spoke to his daughter, all the man could say was: _" That's my boy". _

I listened closer and heard Karin pushing Toushiro away quickly. " Oh please! You parade around Yoko, like she's Queen Elizabeth! What do you want me to think, when you're doing that shit?! Honestly, use your genius brain for more than school!" Karin snapped. Masaki was the next to comment about her daughter, just like Isshin. _" That's my girl, tell him"_, she commented softly.

Toushiro and Karin were quiet for a minute or two before, one spoke up. " W-Why do you even care about Yoko anyways? Why do you hate her?" he asked. Karin tensed and narrowed her eyes at the teen across the room.

" Why do you care if Kuto takes me to prom?" Karin fired back.

Toushiro sighed and pulled the hoodie off his head slowly. " You know what, Karin. I've known you for, god knows of long and there isn't one day; I've regretted knowing you" he told her. I blushed at his words and looked over at Ichigo who's eyes were soft at Toushiro's words. " Perhaps, I'm the kid who's going to lose their best friend because of hormones or whatever. But, if I don't tell you now, Kuto will get you and I might never get the chance" Toushiro continued. I smiled softly at Toushiro words and felt Ichigo take my hand. " ... I've..." he trailed off in uncertainty. He probably didn't expect to confuse today in this situation. It just came. " Karin, I fall in love with you a long time ago. I-I love you" he told her.

I dropped my glass from the words " Awe" left all the women's lips except mine.

" It's about time!" I and Ichigo barked. In the back-ground Isshin was doing a happy dance, for his daughter.

Either of us noticed the door swing open and two furious teens glaring at us all. " ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! ALL OF YOU!" Karin and Toushiro screamed.

Like the wind Yuzu and Masaki were gone. When I looked to my side for Ichigo, all I saw was his cup spinning in a circle. " Fend for yourself, Midget" was all I heard before I noticed, I was the only one up there.

I looked at Toushiro who was giving me the coldest glare and then to Karin who was mentally killing me in her mind. I chuckled softly at the two "Ummm... Don't forget condoms!" I exclaimed before vanishing from the door, like the others had.

* * *

**XSamxp- ** I would have place Ichigo with Rukia in the hospital, but then that would give away her illness and he needs to figure that out himself. For Mashiro in this story. I had to make her OOC because, she's an awesome character and I love her in Bleach; so it was a must for me to use her. I just needed to make her a little more into the story and the romance, because I needed someone for that role. I would have used Love, but his name is obvious to the role. If there was one thing I figured about Byakuya, it was that he need to be shown differently then everyone says. I think that the responsibility of being Kuchiki clan leader gave him the whole " stick up the ass" personal. I mean, when he was a kid he played with Yoruichi. You need to be able to relax and be friendly, if you hang with the awesome cat Shimigame. Plus, he got Hisana. To get a women you need humor and charm. I was kind of tired of Byakuya and Ichigo hating each other, like they both care for Rukia. Ichigo stopped Byakuya from killing his own sister, why don't they just shake hands and talk about Ichigo and Rukia getting married? For the way Ichigo acted when he saw Rukia, he was holding it back because Byakuya was there and so was Karin. Ichigo isn't really one, to make a huge scene. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of Chapter 18.

**Star fire girl 788 -** Yeah, there will be a huge plot twist; just wait and see. I'm so glad you loved, Chapter 17. I hoped you loved chapter 18 as well. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of this chapter.

**teshichan - **Sorry about the comma's. I try to use them, because I have before forgot to use them and there is a long paragraph without them and readers who might read out loud; don't have a breath and it's all jumble. Thank you, for tell me about that mistake. For Rukia and Ichigo having sex, that is coming but I'm debuting to have one in a few chapters or wait a little longer. Rukia was saying she won't have sex with Ichigo until he knows about her sickness, so he isn't really stuck with her in the end. I'm glad you liked Byakuya and Rukia's relationship. I know it's OOC but this is going to have a lot of hard moments, and we need a nice and brotherly Byakuya not, a robot. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of this one.

**Rukia 13 BleachBeliver- ** I'm so glad you love chapter 17. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of Chapter 18. Sorry, if there is mistakes I read through it while writing.

**EmpressMinea- ** Thank you for commenting about the princess and dragons poem. If you ever want me to write you another poem, I would love to. I read the Firefly one on your profile, just to make sure that there wasn't any mistakes I missed. For Rukia and Byakuya bickering, that is going to be in The Bucket List a lot because, it keeps Rukia's fire going and shows Byakuya is different then he his in Bleach. I am having second thoughts, so you all will have to see about the lemon. For the first replies and special reviews, I just do them in order. So, first reviewer gets the first reply. You're welcome though. Thank you for your review, tell me what you thought of Chapter 18.

**iIronEclipse - **Awe thanks. For the poems, they take a little time but that's okay they set the mood. I am glad you enjoy them. For Rukia's relationship with everyone, that is huge because of the ending and what might happen. Ha-ha, yes my writing is improving less grammar and spelling errors. I'm reading your story now and I'm right in the middle, so expect a review soon. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of Chapter 18.

Sorry guys for the last Update. My grandma is here and I've been spending time with her, plus I'm working a lot and trying to catch up with my stories. I believe during school, I am going to continue to write one story. You guys decide. It's only one though, so choose wisely and updates will be random.

Well, have a great weekend! :3

Love, Bleachlover2346


	19. Chapter 19

**_Warning! THIS CHAPTER HAS MAJOR OCC AND MAY CAUSE TEARS :(_**

_During the sun rise. _

_As the sun rises in the east and touches the land in the west, _

_my heart opens to you and the things that, I need to reveal to you. _

_All the promises and secrets, in my heart and existence. _

_My broken moments, each tear that seemed to dance down my cheek... _

_I want you to know all the cracks of my soul, _

_each imperfection. _

_Each mistake, _

_disappointment, _

_everything. _

_I don't care if it drives you away, or cause me to be alone for days on end. _

_I need to tell you everything, to have a clear concession... _

_My love, my all and my life... _

_You are the most important thing to me. _

_More important than the air that rushes through my lung and the blood the races through my veins. _

_Someone who is so important deserves to know about all that,I have been through... _

_You need to know... _

_Me. _

As the rain trickled down the glass of the window, my eyes looked out at the town in the distance. The sky was dark as the rain clouds covered the sun and made it nearly night. In my eyes the only source of light outside was the town, with all the tall city buildings lite up and houses glowing the in the darkness. It didn't look like it was only three in the even; but as though it was seven at night.

My pale skin had a ghostly glum of blue, from the sky outside. When one of my raven locks brushed in the middle of my fore-head I didn't mind. It was nothing new for my hair to do as it pleased, it was always happening.

I sighed softly and looked around the dark room. The queen bed in the middle of the pink room caused my stomach to tighten softly, as the memory of I and a man filled my mind. _" What am I going to do?", _I thought. A soft purr was heard from my lap causing me to look down at the noise. The sight of Sode curled up on my thighs caused a warmth in my heart.

After my dinner with the Koursaki's the other night, my brother came and picked me up. He drove me back to the manor, I didn't know why he didn't let me go to my apartment. He just kept telling my: there is no need to go there now. It was strange. Usually Byakuya would tell me the whole how, why, when, where and who. But, he didn't this time.

I didn't bother to ask him, because I figured it was for my safety and to keep an eye on me before we went to Tokyo. I had decided that, I was going to ask Ichigo to go with me too. But my brother was going to go, whether I asked him or not. That was the way Byakuya was ever since I met him. Now that I'm an adult and grown, there wasn't going to be any change in what he did or wanted to do.

Sode's purr of happiness echoed the room as I patted her soft fur. I grinned softly at the cat and looked out the window again. I noticed a car driving up the road with it's high beams on. I blinked and looked down at the drive-way to see that my brothers sports-car was still parked. In the background of Sode's purring, I could hear my brother packing his things for Monday.

Byakuya was a man of readiness. He was never one to pack last minute, he thought it caused too much stress and half the time, you forget something. I didn't complain about his habits because it was true. Packing late always caused you more stress and most the time you forget something at home. Even though he had a point, I still didn't follow him in packing early. It was pointless to me. All I need for Tokyo was some clothing and my leukemia books, that was it. Perhaps somethings for the flight, but that was pretty much it. Nothing special.

As the car got closer and closer, I noticed the familiar red of the metal. I stood from my seat at the window, Sode still in my arms. I began to walk to the bedroom door but a blast of lightening covered the air causing me to jump slightly in surprise.

Sode leaped out of my arms and scurried underneath the bed. I heard her hiss at the thunder which came after the lightening. She wasn't one for thunder storms, she hated them with a passion and was scared by them. I didn't blame her for being scared, I too didn't really like the thunder and the loud banging. They reminded me of my parents deaths. Thunder storms brought back bad memories.

I slowly went to my knee's and looked up the bed. The sight of black was pure except for two big purple eyes that looked at me with fear. I smiled at the cat and crawled over slowly. " Sode", I whispered to her. She didn't move at the sound of my voice causing me to shake my head and looked over to the window. The shine of the high-beams was gone and the sound of the motor coming from the car had ended.

I turned my attention to the scared cat under the bed. I reached out a hand to the animal but she didn't come near me. Was she really that afraid of thunder? " Sode, come on it's alright" I told her in a soft voice. Her purple eyes widened as she slowly crawled over to me.

When she was in arms reach, I grabbed her softly and held her in my arms. " It's okay, the thunder won't harm you" I whispered to her. She was silent when another flash and crackle was heard. I looked over at her to see that her ears were back. I felt the slight shiver and shaking of her body, from the thunder clap. I stood from the floor and held her tightly as the thunder continued to echo outside.

With Sode tight in my arms, I walked over to the door and gripped the knob with a free hand. I swung the door open to see the hallway that was lite with lights. " Nii-sama?" I called out. I began down the hallway until I was at the stair-case. I grew worried when, I didn't hear my brother answer me.

My violet eyes looked down at the kitchen where all the lights were on. I could hear chatting at the front door, one of the voices was familiar to me causing my feet to scurry down the stairs. I froze when I reached the bottom, to see my brother standing at the door with three other men. " W-What's going on?" I asked the group. They turned and looked at me with sharp eyes.

" Ruk's", I looked over at the red-headed male with the tattoo's. He didn't look so happy at the moment, especially with his grey t-shirt that was soaked to the bone like his jeans. It almost looked like he walked here from the gym. " U-Uryuu found the hospital you were born in", Renji started.

My heart fluttered at the news and I dropped Sode softly on the ground causing her to blink and meow at me with annoyance. I scurried to the door and grabbed Uryuu's damp shirt sleeve " Really? Where was it? Did they have the cord blood? Did you see the records of my parents? " I asked quickly. I was giddy at the moment. The news about the hospital meant that, there was very high chance that they had my cord blood meaning it could save all the surgery's and pain, to cure my leukemia.

Uryuu bowed his wet head and looked at me with sad eyes. " Rukia-san.." he trailed off with a sad tone. I released his sleeve and felt my happiness melt away at his tone. My hope for my survival had been lost in his voice. If there wasn't any blood, there was a slimmer chance I couldn't be cured. " T-The hospital you were born in was all the way in Hakura" he told me.

Hakura was outside of Tokyo several miles away from the city and from many people. I knew there was a small town there, with a hospital and whatnot. But, about twenty years back, the whole town went to flames and everything had vanished. Every house, building, school, library and the hospital... were my core blood would have been.

I felt tears prick my eyes. I bowed my head from the four men and frowned slightly. My cored blood was my most precious option. I was counting on it for my survival. It was going to be the easy way, less needles and less blood to shed. Now, I was stuck with my leukemia even longer. This was just a nightmare.

Byakuya was silent as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his chest. I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest which was covered by a black wife beater. " Shhh..." he whispered as he kissed my hair. " Everything is going to be okay" he told. I nodded my head trying to have hope in his words, but I couldn't really find my hope in my heart and soul. The two places, I needed it most.

I felt tears pour from my eyes in silence. I wasn't one to weep but, when you lose all your hope... weeping is the only thing you can do.

" Was there anything else?" my brother asked the three. Uryuu shifted slightly as he looked at me with his blue orbs, the sadness and disappointment was something rather rare to see. The doctor was usually happy or filled with pride from what he did. Sadness was the hardly there for Uryuu.

A large wet hand touched my back causing me to look over at the warmth coming from the skin. If I didn't know the owner, I would have thought it was Ichigo's touch and not Kaien's. " There is another twist to the story" he told me and my brother. Uryuu looked over the at the man and then to Renji who was still.

The rain outside grew heavier and heavier causing it to hit the ground with force. Breeze blew the water around with a cold chill causing me to shiver in his arms. When he looked at the three men drenched in rain, he couldn't take the sight any longer. " Why don't you come inside. I'll have the maids get you some dry clothing and out of theses soaked ones" he told the three.

I wiped my tears and closed the door behind them, only to hear my brother pick up the phone near the front door.

Byakuya never liked having the luxury life, but there were times he enjoyed it. That's why when he decided to have maid service, he thought it was best they didn't stay in the house because it wasn't needed since he was going to travel the world. There were phone lines that went to the cabins just a two minute walk from the manor, they were hidden in the woods from the world.

Several maids and butlers lived there with their families. My brother paid their bills and paid for the schooling their children needed. That was their pay, really. Most men and women loved the idea, because food, morgue and school payments were more than the salary a maid or butler would get for working a month or two. That was probably why, there were so many of them in the woods. A lot of them liked the woods and thought it was the perfect place to raise their children.

I didn't blame them. The woods didn't have any violent people or gang members, nor drugs. It was quiet and peaceful, the perfect place to raise a child. When my brother first had the maid area made, I told him I wanted to live there someday and raise my child in the woods. He only laughed and ruffled my hair at the idea. He always thought, I couldn't clean up after him. Which was true. My brother is a neat slob.

" Ohayo, Isane-san" he smiled into the phone. I heard the sweet woman voice reply with a happy tone. Isane was a mother of three. She fell in love with a man, when she was merely 18. He left her for some women in the states, when he found out that she was pregnant with triplets.

It was sad to know that such a wonderful woman, was left by a person. I never thought it would be Isane who would be destroyed by a man.

When I met Isane, she told me she had worked three jobs just to support her children. Her family disowned her and she was the only one getting the money in the house. From time to time she would take left-overs from work home to her children and there were moments were they slept at shelters. It was sad really. She only wanted the best for her kids.

Then, she met my brother one day when she was heading to the shelter with her kids. He stopped and offered her a job, said he would make her salary all the needs and responsibilities of a house and her children. That was how she became a maid for us.

" Well, I have three guest here who are soaked to the bone. Can you bring some towels and warm clothing for them?", he asked the women. My brother never forced the maids and butlers to come, they had a choice to say no or yes. Either one, wasn't going to make them lose their job. Besides they're living and breathing people with lives, they can't be controlled by anyone.

" Of course. I'm heading to the manor now, anyways. I have some clean clothing for Kuchiki-chan's and I have to give her, her medication to give her", Isane told him. I tensed at the mention of my medication. I really haven't thought of it. I took my pills in the morning and in the after-noon. I didn't really see the meaning to take them at night, but Mashiro told me it's best to take them three times a day.

" Okay, thank you Isane-san" Byakuya said before hanging up the phone and looking at the three men. " Isane will be here shortly. Till then, take off your shoe's and there are some towels in the washroom upstairs. They might be dirty though" I looked up to the stair-case to see the washroom door closed. The towels were dirty since my brother only have three in there for him and I.

Byakuya was silent as he released me and walked towards the back. I figured that he was going to wait for Isane there, so he could get the towels and clothing for the three; so the women could get my clothing handled.

I turned to the three and noticed that they were looking around the manor with wide eyes. None of them had actually been here but Renji when we were in High-school. That was about five or more years ago. It's amazing that he remembered the way here.

Kaien looked at me with worried eyes and then to Uryuu who was silent. " Rukia-" he tired but I stopped him. I didn't want to hear Kaien's pity or attempt to give me hope again. My heart couldn't take anymore lose hope, especially at a time like this.

There was so much for me to do at this point in my life. I had a job which was going on hold because of my leukemia, I have a boyfriend who I love and still need to tell. But the most important thing in my life, that was happening at the moment... was it's just beginning for me. _Seems like every time I try to move forward, cancer is pushing me back a thousand steps. _

" I know you all did your best. That is all, I can ask you. Just because I don't have my core blood, doesn't mean that my battle is over. It just means it going to be a much harder battle for me", I told them. Renji nodded and looked at the two beside him. His brother didn't have the core-blood to help him, but yet his battle lasted quiet a long time for a little boy of his age.

This wasn't the end of me and my battle. It was just setting the difficulty of my battle and fight.

I smiled at Uryuu and then to Kaien, both seemed studded at the smile. Probably because of the gloomy news, they had to deliver to me. I wanted to frown myself and cry, but there was too much sorrow in my life to keep frowning. I needed to bring some happiness into all the bad news, a smile was mandatory. " You guys don't know where the towels or bathroom is, do you?" I asked them. Each one gave me a blank look and shook their heads at my question. Just as I thought. " Okay, I'll go get them", I headed towards the stair-case.

As I walked past the kitchen, I saw my brother looking out the back window looking for Isane to arrive. I froze when a frown covered his lips and his eyes went dull. It looked like the news was more effective on him than me. " Nii-sama?" I whispered to myself.

He sniffed softly and sighed as he looked out at the path-way which lead to the secret water-fall. " Hisana... give me some hope for Rukia" he said as he looked out at the lanterns which lite the pathway.

The wind grew even more violent causing the tree's to twist and turn from it's force. It was almost like my sister was yelling at him, to snap out of his sorrow and comfort me. As the rain poured down, my brother closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath for his sorrow to fade.

He seemed to feel my eyes on him causing him to look over at me, but I turned silently and held onto the wall that was on the other side of the entrance. He couldn't see me there.

He kept his eyes on the entrance for a few seconds, trying to see what the feeling was before. When nobody appeared he shrugged it off and looked out the glass once again. His grey eyes looked up at the cloud covered sky and then to the wet grass on the ground. When he saw the maid living cabins, he didn't say anything. Seeing as the storm was so violent, he excepted that Isane was waiting for the storm to lighten up.

I shadowed my orbs, from the sight of my brother in such sorrow because of me. This was the reason why, I didn't want to tell anyone about my cancer. It just brought sorrow and sadness to them. I never wanted someone to be upset because of me and my stupid illness.

I closed my eyes, only to have my brothers sad eyes in the darkness. They reminded me of the sadness which my cancer and my existence caused. _" It's all my fault", _I thought as I walked to the stair-case and climbed them slowly.

" Mew?" I heard from beside me. I looked over to see Sode with her head tilted to the side in worried for my sadness and depression. I froze slightly and she rubbed her white body against my dark blue jean pant leg. She was trying to cheer me up, like I had when she got scared from the thunder. " Meeeew" she said happily as she purred. I smiled softly at the cat and picked her up.

Sode rubbed her head into my chest and purred loudly at the embrace. She was a trouble-maker from time to time, but there were moments that she could be the hope and happiness of my day. It was her personality which made Sode different. I loved her for being different.

I opened the bathroom door to see the marble tub that fitted at least four people. In the left corner was a large shower which sprayed from all angles. My brother may not like being all fancy and out there but, he did like his money for furniture. He would say it was because of the long and hard days he would work at the office. I didn't believe him because, life at the office for him was rather easy with perfect employee's and easy work.

I personally thought he just liked to feel good while he showered. Who knows, maybe he will bring a girl home and she might be beaten down. There were so many possibilities to my brothers luxury bathroom furniture. I wasn't going to complain, because the shower and bath were nice to have when you worked with children all day.

Plying my eyes from the shower and the bath, that my body screamed for at the moment. I looked to the towel holder, upon the metal bar there were three towels laying upon it. All three were white. My brother was definitely a man of his house. If the walls were white,that meant everything had to be white down to the tiles.

With a hand I gripped the white towels and throw them over my shoulder, so I wouldn't cover Sode with the damp material. Knowing Sode like I did, she wasn't going to like the feeling of a cold and damp towel.

With the towel on my shoulder, I looked over at the mirror to see myself looking back at me. I didn't smile or grin at my reflection, because of the truth in my being.

My pale skin may seem like nothing but, Snow-whites twin. But, underneath it all was my cancer and the history with doctors. Each particular was touched by a doctor with their gloves and there was been several needles that pricked my skin, not so long ago in my eyes . My skin was nothing, but a mirror of everything I've been through. From my parents deaths, my sisters cancer and then my leukemia battle. Throughout time, it was just going to make my story grow.

When I looked at my eyes, they were just worse. It seemed like they always caused pain and sorrow, just like my brother downstairs. Every time I looked into my eyes, I always saw this girl looking at me with a frown, shaking her head at all the tears I caused. I never wanted to bring tears. I never wanted any of this. Nobody wanted this life.

" Rukia?" I snapped my eyes from my reflection and looked over to the bathroom door, to see nobody. I walked to the hallway and looked down at the stairs to see my brother and the three men standing there looking at me. " Are you okay up there?" my brother asked me. Had I been that long in the bathroom?

I nodded and walked down the stair quickly. " Of course", I told him. His facial expression told me, that he wasn't satisfied with my words, but I knew my brother well and I know he wouldn't ask me; what is wrong when there are people around. For the main reason of me not, showing everyone my true colors. " Here's the towels" I told them. I quickly tossed the towels at the men and looked over at my brother. He shook his head and turned to the back door.

I was silent as I walked to the white living room. The carpet was soft on my feet while I walked upon the fabric. With a quick movement, I sat on the couch and looked at the black television screen in front of me.

A flash filled the house from the thunder causing me to looked out the window. The sight of the rain blurring the glass was in my eyes, there wasn't a way someone was going to drive, let alone walk in this rain. Isane wasn't going to be here for a long while. " I knew today was going to be a bad day", I whispered to Sode. She looked up at me with her big and bright eyes which shined.

" Meow" she spoke from my lap. It was almost like she was telling me, the day was going to get better. I wish it did. I was silent at her 'meow' and began to rub her fur again causing her to purred at the touch.

_" What am I going to do?", _ I thought. I closed my eyes and sighed sadly as, I thought of the large hospital I was born in. It looked like a nice place to raise a family, but then there was a spark and the building burned down within minutes. _" That fire... It burned more than a building. It burned down my chances of having the easy way out of my leukemia" _I thought as I opened my eyes to see another flash of lightening.

My thoughts died as the blackness of my eyes covered my view.

* * *

_The smell of pure death and medicine was in the air, as the rough texture of the sheet was on my flesh. I snapped my eyes open only to see a women with bright red hair standing on my left. I looked over at her and shook my head. " Good Afternoon, Kuchiki-chan" she said with a cheerful voice. _

_Just the sound of the cheer in her voice, made me sick and made me hate her. Where was the cheer in this hell hole? Was it in the white walls? Perhaps the bricks which made each room look even more like a jail. " Afternoon", my voice was flat as I spoke. _

_" You know, for a nine year old you don't have much spunk" she chuckled. I narrowed my eyes at her and sighed causing the tubes in my nose to move slightly; causing them to rub against my cold and pale cheeks. _

_" For a women who works with dying children, you are unusually cheerful and happy __all __the time", I growled. The nurse froze at my words. I might be nine-years old, but I knew enough to know that there wasn't going to be a happy ending for me. Heck, everyone here was going to die in here. I might be tomorrow or next week, but it was going to happen eventually. It was just a matter of time. Time, I didn't want to waste. I just wanted to die already. _

_No matter, what the nurse did or the doctor's tried my illness wasn't leaving. It was just getting worse for me. My vomiting was worse and my dizzy-spells were giving me headaches now. I was tired of fighting this hell, just kill me. _

_Once my words soaked into the bright red-head she shook her head and began to wipe my fore-arm with a wet cloth. " Another needle, eh?" I said coldly. She chuckled as she took the needle from the tray and tapped the glass. I looked at the needle with hatred. " No needle today", I told her. _

_" W-What are you talking about, Kuchiki-chan?" she stuttered. I turned in my bed, causing the sight of an empty bed to cover my eyes. That bed was once a patient named, Hina. She had a stomach cancer. " You need your need-" _

_" If those needle were really working, like everyone says I wouldn't be here still" I told her. The doctors told me over and over, that a different needle was going to help me. It's been nearly a year and none of them have worked for me. " Where'd Hina-chan going? Did she finally die and get out of this hell-hole?" I asked her. _

_The nurse's eyes drained at my words. " Hina-san... did pass" she told me. I nodded at her words and closed my eyes for the little girl; I knew for a short period of time. I wasn't upset for her, I was happy for her. There wasn't anymore needles, tests, x-rays or doctors to poke at her now. She as in a better place. _

_" Nurse, I want you to give me one last needle" I told her. She smiled at my words and readied the needle in her hands. I rolled over and looked at the needle and shook my head. " Not that needle", I said. The women looked at me oddly and blinked at my request. " I want you to give me a needle that will kill me" she was shocked at my words. _

_" Eh Rukia-san, you really want to let the cancer win and die?" a husky but young voice asked me. I looked passed the women only to see a little boy laying the bed. His skin had lost all color making him as pale as a ghost. But, his bright hair of red gave him enough color. His big brown eyes looked at me with wonder. _

_" Yeah, I'm tired of being pokes by nurses and being told lies from doctor's who think they know everything about cancer", I snickered. He smirked and rolled his eyes at me. That was the thing about, Jinta. He never really thought about the deeper possibilities and truths to anything. Especially his food. _

_" Listen, I know that you don't really think I know much about anything. You're right. But, there is something I do know", he told me. A cough left his throat as he smiled at the white walls and then to me. " If there wasn't something for me to fight for in my life, I would be like my parents right now", my heart squeezed at his words._

_" What do you live for, Jinta?" I asked him. There had to be something in his life that he was fighting for. The only thing in my life, that made me want to fight was definitely... Byakuya. I love him, he was the only one I had now. Well not really, he is my brother-in-law but acts like my father, my brother and my best friend. _

_The boy shrugged as he looked at the ceiling. " I don't have anything to fight for. My mother and father are both dead. Renji is everything... I really have left" he bowed his head at my words. I sat up slightly at the shadow which covered his eyes. " I fight leukemia for my brother, I don't want to leave him alone in without any of his family. But, I also fight for life. I want to live my life like my mom, told me to before she passed", he said. " What do you live for Rukia-san?" _

_I was silent at his question. What did I really fight for? My brother was something that, I truly thought I fought for, but then again he would be okay without me. What did I fight for? I didn't fight for my family, because they were gone. Everyone of them. Did I fight to live? No, at this point in my treatment and I was ready to die. _

_I looked over at the nurse who was waiting for me answer, but there was nothing for me to actually tell them. What did I want to fight for? _

_" I fight for my future". _

* * *

Back then, I was so tired of being in the hospital. I was tired of hearing everyone say that there was something which was going to cure me, but I was only disappointed every time. Finally, I wanted to die and get over with all the needles and disappointments.

When I saw a smile on a nurse, there was always a side of me that was angry with them. How could they smile when, they were just disappointing a dying child? It was sick in my mind, but later on when I was in the teens; I learned that the smile were just for the hope of their patients. Even though, I knew why they smiled didn't make any difference to my behavior towards them.

My brother knew that I was just angry with myself and the cancer; which coursed through my veins and was practically being fed by the needles and drugs. Byakuya thought death was something, I wanted because I was alone and had been through enough suffering.

As many times he heard me plead to the nurse's just to kill me and get it over with; he never let them actually do such a thing. He would walk into my room and sit down next to me. Take my hand and look me in the eyes before saying; _" I know this is hard and you don't want this. Rukia you've been through enough death to want to die. But, don't be selfish. Your sister, mother and father would never want you to give up on this fight. I would never forgive myself if you died or just ended your life. You're everything that... I have left, you're my only real family in my heart. Fight for me and fight for yourself"_ Byakuya's words were still fresh in my mind for the many times he told me, such a thing in the hospital.

A sight awakened from my lips from the memory of Jinta. I thought he should have survived, not me. He deserved to live and love not me. He was such a bright little boy, but no, he died and a miserable little girl like me had to survive. It didn't seem fair to me.

Through the years of my life, I have lost my reason for fighting. Perhaps it vanished when, I was cured and finally allowed to go home and never go back to the hospital. I mean, there wasn't anything for me to fight for that day and ever.

But, five years later. I had to see, what I was fighting for and see what my will-power was going to get me. Was I fighting for Ichigo? The love we have was something, I longed for such a long time. But, there was always a pain in my heart when I looked at him. That pain came from the fact, I hadn't told him about my leukemia. I wanted to so badly. My pain was the secrets, I had hidden from him.

I had my career now as well. I was going to miss my students and teaching, if I passed from my cancer. Did I fight for my students? No, eventually they will be out of kindergarten and in elementary school. They will forget all about me, before I knew it.

What was I fight for?

That question, which the answer always changed. The more I live the more, I had a reason to try and survive my cancer. I once remember the words my mother once told me, when I was a little girl. _" It's not how you fight, but what you fight for. The longer you live, the more there is for you to fight for"_ , she was right. As I grew older and older there were more things for me to live for. To fight for.

**BUZZ**

**BUZZ**

I snapped out of my thoughts from the feeling of vibrating on my thigh. I looked down at my blue jeans to see my I-Phone lite up, and the light shining through my jeans material. It hadn't vibrated all day, why now?

I reached into my pocket and grabbed the buzzing phone. I pulled the phone to my eyes, only to see the picture of Ichigo on the screen. I smiled at the sight and swiped the screen softly with my thumb before placing it at my ear. " What do you want Strawberry?" I sighed into the phone.

He smiled at my voice and leaned back in his computer chair. " I've been doing paper work all day, and this is what I get when I call you?" he smirked. I heard him tap his pen on the wood of the desk. " Nice to see my lovely girlfriend, is a cold-hearted midget bitch to me" he said.

I smirked and shook my head at his words." For a cold heart bitch, I seemed to get through your cold scowls with no effort", I snapped.

" I still scowl, Baka" he told me. I knew he still scowled everyday, but when I was around him he didn't really scowl; but smiled and laughed. " Ummm... I called to tell you that, I have your file with me", his voice was sad as he spoke.

" Yeah, I know you do. I saw it in your car, the other day" I felt tears prick my eyes as I thought of the orange book. A single one tear danced down my cheek. With a hand I covered my mouth, muffling my soft cry. I didn't want him to find out this way. I wanted to be the one to tell him, but I was stupid. So, stupid...

Ichigo was silent at the sound of my tears. " Rukia..." he trailed off. His long fingers ran down the folder which hadn't been open. " D-Don't cry" he told me. I sniffled at his words and tried to make my tears disappear, but they stayed and came down like the rain outside. " W-Where are you going for treatment?"

I froze at his question. My air-way clogged at the news.

_He hasn't read my file yet..._

I wiped away my tears and sighed softly. " I have to go to Tokyo for about a month, on Sunday or Monday. Perhaps, even Saturday" I didn't know when, I had to go. All I knew was that it was going to be, soon and by the end of the week. For all I knew, my brother could take the private jet with me on Friday. We wouldn't have to pay for air-fair and there would be any other passengers. It would be peaceful. " I-I don't want you to read my file until I'm there with you", the thought of me being there with him when he found out seemed like the best for the situation.

I heard his breath hitch in the back of his throat at my request. " When will that be?" he asked me. I looked over at my brother who was still looking out of the back door. Renji, Kaien and Uryuu were talking as they dried themselves.

Knowing my brother and the three men, they weren't going to let me out of the house with this weather. There was a very high chance that, I was going to get sick and get an ammonia. The only way to get out the house and to Ichigo, was to sneak out of the house and take someone's car.

" I'll be there in twenty minutes", I whispered into the phone before hanging up. I snapped my eyes towards my brother to see that there was a delicate figure in the window. With a hand he opened the door allowing the figure to step inside.

A person in a large rubber blanket and a large stomach was revealed as the light. I looked down at the floor to see two rubber boots covered in mud and two pale long legs. " It is certainly pouring out there, Kuchiki-kun" a soft voice said.

My brother laughed and pulled the rubber blanket off the person. I looked over the women with her white long locks which waved over her medium sized breast. Most people would be envious for her pale skin, because it looked like the sun had never touched her cheeks. I was never envious of Isane's skin because mine was as white as snow, whiter than hers. In her arms she held a large laundry basket filled with my clothing and some clothing for the three guests.

" It quiet is, Isane" my brother smiled. The women blushed at his smile and looked over to the three men; who were staring at them with question. " These are the guest that needed new clothes. Bunch of Baka's, if anything" the three men glared at my brother and growled at the insult. At least he was telling them the truth. You had to be nuts to actually travel in this weather. I guess, I'm nuts as well.

Isane walked over to the three and handed them three fresh towels, from the basket along with their clothes. " I agree, only fools travel in the rain. Unless, it is a important journey". I smirked at her attempt to make them look, less like idiots and more like men of smartest. Only if they lived to their career's entitlement. " Was your journey worth getting all wet?" she asked them.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes at the three. " No, they could have just called" I commented. Renji snapped a glare at me and then Kaien followed. Uryuu, being the smart and rather gentle doctor, didn't snap a glare. Probably thought that it was enough, I heard about my core-blood being gone and my fight was going to be harder.

The women shook her head and looked each of them in the eye, with her big brown eyes that made men drop to their feet with a single glance. " All three of you, go upstairs and take a shower before changing" she ordered them. Her eyes looked over their bodies and then to the bathroom door. " All three of you should fit in the shower together just fine".

I tried to hold back a laughter but couldn't. My brother was the same, he gripped the wall beside him as he laughed at the three men's expressions. " Oh... I am, so texting Orhime about this" I laughed.

Uryuu snapped his head over at me and shook his head. " Oh no, you are not!" he snapped. Kaien began to laugh at the man. " What are you laughing at? If she is texting my wife about this, what makes you think she wouldn't text your wife about it?" Uryuu had a point there. Why not take down two of them.

" Good idea", I chirped causing Renji to laugh at the two. " While I'm texting the wives, why not text Tatsuki this too" I commented causing him to become quiet. The three looked at me as my fingers tapped on my phone quickly causing. " And... send" .

" W-What did you send them?" my brother laughed.

I looked at the screen and read my message. " Hey there ladies! I thought you would all like to know that, there's going to be a shower party at Kuchiki manor. All three baka's ( Renji, Kaien and Uryuu) get to go for a shower together. How adorable? Let's hope there's no comparing in the steam of the bathroom" I finished.

" I bet you, Tatsuki is going to be the first one to reply" Renji groaned. I chuckled when my phone vibrated and Tatsuki's name was on the screen. " What is she saying?" he asked.

I chuckled at the reply and looked at Renji who looked like he was ready for anything. " Comparing? Renji? Are you kidding me? The only thing you can compare with Renji's 'man-hood' to a centimeter", I snort back a laughter at the women's words.

Kaien laughed as he looked at the red-head and buckled over. " I'M NOT A CENTIMETER! GOD DAMMIT!" He roared. The reaction of Renji caused Kaien to fall to his knee's in laughter. Byakuya was no different. Uryuu was laughing but managed to stay on his feet.

My laughter faded when another text came in. " Text from Miyako. I always knew Kaien would want a steamy shower scene with other men. It was only a matter of time. Just make sure he uses protection, he's a five minute man". I held my stomach at the words of Kaien's sweet wife. I fall onto my side and laughed with my feet in the air.

" I may be centimeters, but at least I last longer than five minutes" Renji teased. Kaien growled as he listened to the laughter of everyone especially me on the couch.

Uryuu looked over at me through his glasses and then to my phone. " Has Orhime replied yet?" I shook my head at his question. His wife hadn't messaged back, she was probably busy with Umi or laughing at the text message.

" Perhaps she's laughing too hard" Isane commented to the doctor. Uryuu smirked and shook his head. Knowing Orhime she was probably throwing up or making something weird for her cravings.

" My Hime-chan, is too much of a sweet-heart to laugh" he told them. I stopped laughing at his words and so did the rest of the room.

Kaien looked at the doctor with wondering eyes. " Miyako's sweet but can be bitter" be told him. It was true. Miyako was a sweet-heart, but there were times were she was just a bitter bitch and she needed a good slap. But, she was mostly sweet.

" Please, Tatsuki is just a bitch in general" Renji said.

My eyes went to my phone when, I felt it vibrate in my palm. " Orhime says: I feel bad for Kaien and Renji, they are going to be put in their places with size. For the steamy shower, Uryuu better come home and give me something steamy! Just like last time, that was a nice four hours", I blushed at the text and looked over at the doctor. " F-F-Four hours?"

Uryuu pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and nodded his head. " I may be a man in a lab coat. But, I have stamina and can go for hours" he commented. I nearly gagged at the idea of Uryuu...having...sex with- don't even think about it Rukia, it's not right!

" I bet she is just being nice about size and time" Renji snickered. Uryuu shook his head and laid a hand on the red-heads shoulder before heading up the stairs with his towel and clothing.

" Why do you think I'm a doctor? We wear nothing but baggy clothing, there enough room for me in there. Heck, I wear a large pair of scrubs" the two men blinked at his words and looked over at me. Both knowing, I was dating a surgeon who worked with Uryuu. " At least, I'm not Ichigo who needs his scrubs custom made to fit" he said. I tensed when he looked over at me and looked me dead in the eye. " Rukia-san will have a rather painful and crazy night then".

I blushed at his words as my eyes went wide. What the hell was Ichigo hiding? I didn't necessarily want to know, if it meant that I was going to be in pain. I gulped at the thought and felt my cheek turn bright red.

" Rukia, you okay?" my brother chuckled. I didn't answer but stared into space.

Kaien raised a brow at Uryuu before asking. " How big are we talking?" he asked. Renji looked at the doctor who smirked at them both and then looked over at me. I was still in a thoughtful trace for the size Ichigo may have. Fuck my life!

Uryuu turned to the other men and smirked at them both. " Big enough to get a wife who's breast are bigger than both of yours combine", he said before disappearing into the bathroom. He peeked out quickly " If I were you two, I wouldn't look. You might be traumatized by a man's real size" with that he vanished.

After a few moments Renji and Kaien went upstairs to shower. I watched as Isane collected the towels, I had gave them to dry off. I stood from the couch and let Sode lay upon the white material. My feet went to the women and I began to help her with the towels.

" I help you, Isane-chan" I said with a smile. This was going to get me out of the house.

* * *

I groaned as I gripped the vines of the climbing flowers that ran up to my window. The sound of Renji's keys were heard from my hand as, I climbed down the planet with difficulty. This was my escape route for when I was in High-school, and I needed to get away for a little while without my brother noticing that I left.

I was startled when my hand slipped from the rain, that poured down on me and pattered on my rain-coat. I looked over my shoulder to see the wet grass close to my feet. " I can make it", I whispered before leaping to the ground.

My footing on the grass disappeared from the wetness, causing me to fall and land on the wet grass. I opened my eyes only to meet the pure sight of the black sky and the lightening flashing causing it lite with life. Rain poured onto my skin causing me to sigh and quickly get to my feet.

I scurried towards the drive-way hoping my brother wouldn't see me. When, I looked over I saw my brother sitting at the kitchen counter boiling water for a tea. I stopped in my tracks and looked over his clamped hands. His head was placed on his palms and his eyes closed. He looked like he was exhausted or stressed out.

_I'm sorry, Nii-sama_ was all I thought before running to the red car on the drive-way. My eyes went to my brothers sports-car and the rain which made the paint shimmer with pride. I looked over to the house again and thought about staying. But then the idea of Ichigo waiting for me at his house, came into my mind and caused me to walk over to the red car.

I scrambled with the keys to unlock the drivers side and I slid effortlessly into the car. I closed the car silently and moved the stick to neutral causing the car to roll down the driveway in silence.

Once I was on the road, I turned the vehicle on causing the motor to roar slightly before putting it into drive. My hands gripped the steering-wheel tightly as my eyes glimpsed back at the manor and to the road for a few seconds. There was an urge in my soul for me to turn back and make Ichigo wait for the right time to know. Something wasn't sitting right in my heart about this.

_" What are you thinking about, Rukia? There's nothing to worry about" _ I thought to myself. The rain splashed up from the pavement from the speed of the car and the window wipers swished back and forth; clearing all the rain-drop that touched the glass.

_" What if he rejects me? I can't handle that!"_ I shouted in my head. If Ichigo was to telling that, he couldn't be with me because of my cancer... I would be crushed. Just because of a stupid illness, I lose the man of my dreams. I would hate myself for such a thing. How would I cope? Easy, I wouldn't.

I looked back at the manor in the distance. The lights were out, the storm must have knocked the power out. Figures, it was a really storm outside and I was glad that I didn't have to stand out in it. At least, I had Renji's car to keep me dry. That was the bonus of knowing Renji.

He was the type to forget things in his pants. For example his car keys. It wasn't hard for me to help Isane with the jeans and pants of the men. I just had to check the pockets for the keys. While Renji was in the shower, I took his keys from his soaked jeans as Isane was beside me loading them into the wash.

After getting the keys, I told Isane that I was going to bed early. She believed me and allowed me to retreat to my room for the night. That's when I got my rubber coat from my closet and pulled on my pair of converts. I climbed down the climbing bush and here I was, driving Renji's car and heading to the Koursaki's.

As I entered the town and made it to the first set of stop lights, I sighed and laid my head on the stirring-wheel. _" Maybe I should turn back"_ I thought. There was a feeling my gut that there was something bad coming in the night. I didn't know what, but I didn't like that feeling.

When the light turned green, I drove straight and continued towards the house. If there was something about that night I remembered the most, it was the feelings I had on the way to see Ichigo and tell him about my cancer. Perhaps if I turned around and didn't go, maybe things would have went differently that night.

The drive to the house was filled with thoughts about turning back and going back to the manor, but my stubborn pride wouldn't allow me to do such a thing. Now, I was in front of the house. Rain pouring down my coat and Renji's keys in my hand. I was staring up at the surgeon's window with my violet eyes.

" Be brave" I whispered to myself as I walked towards the front door. My hand went to knock but, the door swung open and the face of Isshin was in my eyes. " Uh, Good evening Isshin-kun" I said with a smile.

He returned the smile and allowed me into the house. " Rukia-san, shouldn't you be at home during this kind of weather?" he asked me. I should be at home, but this was way too important to stay at the manor and wait for this moment again.

" I should be, but I didn't to talk to Ichigo about something that is _really_ important" I spoke. A large smile covered his lips as he helped me out of rain-coat. My heart began to pound as I looked over at the stairs. " This shoulder take long", I told him. So there wasn't any need for me to take my converts off; especially after rubbing them against the shoe mat about fifty times.

Isshin chuckled and looked at my figure before placing a hand on my stomach. " Did my boy finally, make me a grandpa?" he said with joy. I frowned at thought of me being pregnant. I really loved the idea, but that wasn't going to happen with my leukemia.

" N-No, Isshin-kun" I stuttered as I fought the urge for tears. He sighed and patted my shoulder softly before looking up the stair-case. " Where's everyone?" I asked him. I hadn't seen Masaki or Yuzu in the kitchen, which is were they usually were when it was about this time.

" Eh, Masaki went to the store to pick-up somethings. Yuzu had to go to her friends for studying and Karin is having dinner at Toushiro's house for once", he told me. I nodded at his words and looked over at the stairs. It seemed like, if anything happened it was only going to be in the presences of I, Ichigo and Isshin. Thank god. " Well, you know where his room is. I'll be in the clinic cleaning up" he told me.

I nodded and began up the stairs. They seemed so dark at the moment, maybe it was because of the storm and all the worry that was in heart for this moment. My eyes went to Karin's door that was to the right of me.

I grinned at the door slightly at the memory of yesterday and the things that occurred with her and Toushiro. They were two good kids and they deserved to be happy together. But, who knew that a dramatic event had to play out for them to actually confess their love for each other.

I quickly walked up the stairs and passed Yuzu's room. She may be the pretty one and the girl with skills in the kitchen; but she had the Koursaki pride and honour in her blood. I remembered her standing up for Ichigo on the beach, and against Grimmejow. A older and much stronger person than she was. Yuzu had brave in her blood just like her brother, sister, mother and father.

Finally, I came to the door with the number 15 hanging from a nail. I went to knock but, I stopped myself and listened to my heart-beating rapidly in my chest. I was nervous.

I opened the door only to see Ichigo at his desk with my file in front of him. It was untouched and hadn't been open for him to see. " Hey" I said to him. I walked over and kissed his cheek softly causing him to smile at the touch.

" Yo" he chuckled before pulling a fast move and capturing my lips. I smiled as he pulled me closer and tangled his hand into my hair. When he pulled away he looked into my eyes and then looked at my attire. " So, blue jeans and a lose fitting black and white blouse fits this file?" he asked me.

I sat down on his bed and took his hands in mine. " Ichigo... nothing can fit that file" I told him. There was too much in that one file, for something to fit my file. The only thing that matched my file was a hospital gown and a mountain of medical bills for my treatments.

Ichigo's eyes went serious as he looked at the file and then to me. " Can I read it now?" he asked. I held my breath and looked at the file on the desk. I didn't want to open it.

" Not like this" I whispered to myself. I shook my head at his question and felt a tear fall down my cheek. Ichigo frowned at the tear, he never liked to see me cry or be upset.

" Rukia, don't cry" he said in a soft voice. He stood from his chair and sat next to me. I felt his warm arms wrap around me and pull me close to his chest. I snuggled into his warmth as he laid his head on top of mine. " Don't cry" he whispered.

I sniffed and straightened from his embrace. I looked at him with teary eyes and then to my lap. " I just don't want to lose you to this, okay? I've lost a lot in my life-time and... I can't lose anymore-" I sobbed softly.

He hugged me again and kissed my hair before telling me " You're not going to lose me". Only if that was the truth.

I believed in his words and took the file from the desk, before turning and looking him in his amber orbs. " Ichigo" I said softly with the file on my lap. " My sister died of breast cancer, my parents in car crash. But, since I was nine I've been through a lot more traumatizing things. When my sister passed and I was left to my brother, I found out that..." I trailed off as tears swam down my cheeks. _I can't do this. Come on, Rukia you told Byakuya... you can tell the man you love, _I thought to myself.

" I'm really sick. I've been sick since, I was nine and went through High-school. That was why, I throw-up, barely ate, was cold and pale all the time. My illness looked like I was pregnant, but that is impossible for me with it. I can't have kids, unless I'm cured" tears rolled down my cheek as he looked at the file and then to me.

He gripped the file and took it from my hand softly. " Let me see", he said. I tried to stop him from opening the file, but he opened it and read through the first page with lightening speed. I bowed my head as his eyes widened and his face grew pale.

He finally put the puzzle together.

Ichigo stood from the bed and looked over the pages, each one made him shake with anger and sorrow.

**Bang. **

I flinched at the sound of the file hitting a wall from Ichigo throwing it in his spit of anger. " Ichigo, I'm-" I tried, but stopped me with something I didn't want to hear.

" You have leukemia?" he said. I could hear the hurt in his voice as he looked over my body. " A-And you didn't tell me?" he was hurt, I understood that. I heard his hand rub his sin softly as he thought of what to say. " Rukia, how don't you tell someone something like that, huh?"

I looked at him with my violet eyes and felt the rage fill my soul. " I tried to on the beach, but you didn't want me to-" he cut me off once again with his rage.

" ON THE BEACH! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! YOU'VE HAD SO MANY CHANCES TO TELL ME!" he yelled. I flinched at his tone and the anger in his voice. I was scared for, what he might do in his anger.

" Why are you yelling?!" I shouted. He didn't have to yell at me, for something so...so...so dumb. We could speak in our normal tones about this. I watched as he walked to the door and opened it with anger. I stood from bed and walked after him. " DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME! You owe me that much!" I yelled. He froze at my words and looked over at me with a sharp eye.

" I owe you? I owe you?!" he shouted. I stepped towards him and look him straight in his eyes only to see anger and hurt in them. I didn't want this to happen. " FROM WHAT I KNOW RUKIA, I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT!" he yelled.

I watched as he walked down the stairs and disappeared from my sights. The rage filled my heart for the moment causing me to run down the stairs. Once I was at the bottom, I saw his back heading to the couch but my voice stopped him. " You owe me, two years of nothing but pain!" I shouted. He looked over at me with a raging but questionable look. " For two, fucking years! You made my life a living hell! It wasn't enough that, I was fighting for my life and going against the worse kind of cancer! Oh no, you had to come and push me into lockers! Call me slut and bitch!" I shouted.

Isshin walked into the room just in time for the argument to truly blossom. Ichigo glared at me with hate in his eyes and clanged his hands into fist. " We all make mistakes! I have apologized over and over again, for what I did back in High-school! That was five years ago! Get over it!" he yelled.

My breath was labored at his words and I felt tears in my eyes as I felt my heart break all over again. " Renji was right about you. This whole time, I thought you changed but you haven't. You're the same selfish, ignorant, controlling, immature and manipulative jerk! You were five years ago!" I yelled.

Ichigo looked at me and then to the door. " Really? I find it funny, that you fall in love with someone like me! I can't even believe that, I actually thought you were the one! You're nothing but a lie! A joke! A miserable bitch!" he yelled.

I couldn't take it anymore. The hurt and anger. I was done. " I do love you, that's the reason why I didn't tell you", I said. Tears rolled down my cheek as I looked at him. " I love you, no matter what Ichigo. Maybe, I'm stupid. Perhaps all my cancer pills have caused all this. But, like you said _we all make mistakes. _ I found my mistake. My mistake was actually letting you in and letting myself fall for you", my voice was purely filled with sadness.

" It's hurt, Rukia! It kill me, to know that I'm losing you to something I can't fight! You might as well, just be dead!" he shouted.

_"You might as well, just be dead! Just be dead..."_ his words lingered in my head causing tears to storm from my eyes. I felt the world spinning as all his world echoed in my mind. _Rejection..._ I thought. Before I could think, I bolted for the door.

" Rukia-san!" Isshin yelled as he ran after me.

He never caught me. I didn't grab my rain-coat or Renji's keys, I just ran out the door with tears in my eyes. I heard the pitter-patter of my feet on the wet side-walk. My skin tingled with a chill as the rain poured down on me.

My eyes looked passed the house that zoomed out of my view. The families in the windows made me think of my dead family. My mothers smile and my fathers laughter. My sisters enjoy and happy personality. I-I just...just...just want to die!

_A joke!_ rang in my ear. My life was a joke because of everything, I've been through. All I've ever known was a hospital. It was a joke that, I didn't do so many things in my life. _I'm a joke... _

I kept going straight from the Koursaki house and found myself in the lights of the city. No one was around because of the storm, leaving me alone in the street. My converts being old and worn out meant they didn't have much grip for the rain.

So, when I fell on the side-walk I didn't blame myself but the shoes for their lack of grip. My knee's stung and my lungs burned as tears rushed down my face for the words which wandered my mind. Every word that came from Ichigo's lips made my heart squeeze in pain and made more tears spill from my eyes.

I doubled-over as I sobbed loudly and my hand clanged my soaked clothing._ I did something that, I didn't want to do in the first place. I hurt Ichigo... _the thought whispered in my mind over my tears. I stood from the side-walk and took off in a sprint.

As the rain came down hard, my tear did as well. My vision went to a blur as my world began to spin in circle from exhaustion.

My sprint slowly died as I came to the hill that looked out to the Karakura river and bridge. I stumbled slightly as I tried to focus on the grass below, but my feet seemed to tangle up together.

My body swayed as I looked at the grass and the river below me, until my legs gave out and I was sent rolling down the wet hill. I groaned as my body spun and my limbs were tossed. The world around me was nothing but a blur as I hit the bottom of the hill causing gravel to scrape my flesh and cause me to bleed.

The rain poured more and more, as my eyes grew heavy. I was ready to sleep.

As I closed my head and my body went limp, the only words that lingered my mind from Ichigo was: _You might as well, just be dead!_

* * *

EmpressMinea - I'm and so glad you liked chapter 18. I was happy to see that you like the interaction with Karin and Toushiro, along with the typical eavesdropping idea with the Koursaki's. I thought it would be nice, to see Ichigo be a little more fun and nosy, especially with Karin. As you can see in this chapter, I changed when Ichigo finds out about Rukia's leukemia. I'm thrilled you liked the tides poem, I wasn't too sure about it. Sorry for the late post. Thank you for the review, tell me what you thought of chapter 19.

IronEclipse- The ending was a nice laugh, especially for this chapter and how heavy it was. Thank you for the review! Tell me what you thought about this chapter. Sorry for the late post.

Xsamxp- Here is your late dosage of the Bucket List! Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I've been held up at work. For Ichigo being a pervert, I think he would can be like that because of that episode when Rangiku was un-buttoning her shirt. But, that just me. Seeing as the Bucket List is the more popular, I have decided to work on it throughout the year. Besides there is a lot that is going to happen. Thank you for the review, I loved it! Tell me, what you thought of this chapter.

Rukia 13 BleachBeliver- The humor in chapter 18 was to make sure that everyone did just get a dose of the heavy in this chapter. Thank you for the review! Tell me, what you thought of this chapter. Sorry for the late post.

Well my readers, this chapter made me cry, for real. I'm sorry for the OCC with Ichigo, but the Strawberry got it the nicer way then; what I really had in store. I will be updating tomorrow, because I have the day off! Also, we are going to be changing P.O.V for once.

See you all tomorrow! Love, Bleachlover2346


	20. Chapter 20

**Byakuya's P.O.V. **

_Hisana. _

_I time might have been short, but during that period of time... _

_I grew to love you even more than before. _

_I know that, I wasn't the best husband or lover in the beginning. _

_But, your love made me better and made me the man; I am today. _

_You are my love. _

_My life. _

_My one and only. _

_When your heart stopped beating and those beautiful eyes went dull, I knew you were in a safe place. _

_You were with your mother and father again. _

_They will keep you safe until, I am with you_

_I wanted my arms to be you future and be the protection from the storms; that came and passed through our lives.. _

_But, sometimes my arms aren't strong enough to keep you safe... but my heart is. _

_Once you left me and went to the heavens, there was a new love in my heart that I have to protect... _

_That person is someone you and I love dearly, _

_I have to protect her with my life, if that is what it takes. She was all you had left and now, all I have left..._

_I will protect protect the tiny peice of you, that I have left. _

I sighed into my hands as I listened to the kettle boil and then scream slightly. My grey eyes looked over to the metal kettle to see the steam bursting into the air from the spout. I thought that the three men needed something warm, besides a shower together. Just the thought of all three in the shower together made me chuckle and shake my head at the idea.

My chuckle faded when I thought of my sister. I love her to death but, sometimes there were moments I just wanted be out of her misery. I didn't want her dead like my wife. I just wanted her to happy and for her life to be filled with happiness. It seemed that the heaven's didn't want that for her. I mean, she lost her parents and then her sister. After Hisana's death, she found out she had her own cancer. For several years she fought her cancer and when High-school came she was bullied. There was no break for her.

I closed my eyes and felt my heart tighten when the image of Rukia crying flashed in my darkness. I hated it when she cried. It reminded of the promise, I made to Hisana before she passed. I promised to give her the best of life and be there for her, but tears were tiny things that signed that I failed.

" I'm sorry, Rukia" I whispered before standing from the island in the kitchen. The sound of the rain was in my ears as I rounded the island and came to the kettle. With a hand I took the kettle off the boiler and placed it to the side. " What am I going to do?" I asked myself. I had to find a way to help her, I had to help Rukia. I can't lose her.

The news on her cord-blood was something which woke me and brought me to reality of this actually happening again. At first when Rukia told me about her leukemia, I was upset and I couldn't believe that it was happening again. There was this cancer inside her pure heart, that was going to run her down and cause her sorrow.

I have money, but there was something that I hated about my money. It never cured the things, that I really needed. My money may pay the medical bills and go towards her treatments, but they were never going to bring back the years she was in the hospitals; all the emotional damage she went through and it wasn't going to cure her cancer.

Money was useless in my eyes. It didn't save Hisana and it didn't give Rukia her years back. What's the uses of have all this money and being able to help the people you love the most?

I opened the cubbert and grabbed six mugs. One for me, Rukia, Isane and the three men. Placing tea bags in the mugs, I looked over at the side window. Something didn't sit right with me. It was like there was someone outside watching me.

I shrugged off the idea and went back to making the tea's. Pouring the boiled water into the mugs caused a rush of steam to burst up from the mugs and into my face gently. I looked over to the stairs when I heard the washroom door open and the voice's of Uryuu and Kaien were heard. " Dude! Put some clothes on!" Kaien yelled at the doctor. I chuckled at Kaien's demand and shook my head.

" Me! You're naked! You put some clothes on!" Uryuu yelled back. The sight of an annoyed Renji filled my eyes as he walked out of the bathroom. He wore the a pair of blue jeans that were mine, but I barely wore them now. I noticed my navy sweater on his chest, the long V-neck caused his tattoo's on his chest to be revealed. His long red-hair was down and went to his broad shoulders.

" Why don't you two, just shut the fuck up and get dress!" he yelled at the two in the washroom. They both went silent at his comment. " Jeez, I didn't know there were four women in this house", he groaned. I smirked at his words and placed his tea on the counter.

" Here, this should warm you up a little more" I told him. He nodded and sat down at the island. Renji was a good man, he knew right from wrong and was loyal to all he knew. It was something that, I liked about him the most. " Thank you for taking care of Rukia, while I was in America. I know, it's not easy for you to talk about leukemia let alone take care of someone with it", I knew all about Jinta. I was there when he passed, it was a horrible sight to see.

I remember Renji screaming for his little brother to stay awake and not die, but it was too late for the little boy. The nurses tried to hold him back, but they weren't strong enough to hold him down. His Aunt cried as doctors went to Jinta's side, but Renji's expression was broken as he watched his brother take his finally breath. I remembered his breaking through the nurses and running to his brother, but I grabbed him and hugged him tightly. I knew the pain of seeing a loved one die. I watched Hisana pass from breast cancer.

Renji sipped his tea softly and inhaled a deep breath. "... Jinta would have wanted me to be there for Rukia. She's my best-friend" he told me. I knew he and my sister were close, but sometimes friendship wasn't enough for situations like this. " Besides Byakuya, I should be thanking you. I mean after Jinta passed you were there for me and you took care of his medical bills. You didn't have too", his voice was husky and deep as he spoke.

I sat next to him with my own tea and looked over the man he has become. " You were just a little boy back then. Your Aunt was still graving for her sister and brother. I couldn't let such a large cost go to you guys, you both had enough to deal with. Besides, I know how it feels to lose someone to cancer. I lose Hisana to breast cancer and nearly lost Rukia to leukemia. I didn't want you to think too much about the money. It's was the least, I could do for you both", I told him.

Renji was silent by my words and looked over to the stairs to see that Uryuu was, finally out and dressed. " Eh, Byakuya?" Renji asked. I looked over at him with my bright grey eyes and blinked at his words. " Rukia... she didn't want to fight this time", I tensed at his words. " She wanted to let the cancer kill her and get over with it. She was planning to just die slowly and before she passed tell everyone she was transferring to a school in Canada. She didn't want to be in anyone's hair this time", I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did Rukia really, think about this and wanted to do such a thing? " But then, she met Ichigo and everything changed. She went and stared her chemo".

Uryuu walked over and took a seat next to Renji. " I was worried about her, when she said she wasn't going to fight. If Rukia passed...a lot of people would be effected. She's grown on to everyone, even on me. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if she died" he said. I didn't know much about Uryuu and Rukia's relationship as friends, but I knew that they were close. Especially, Rukia and his family.

" Rukia as that ability", I told them before sipping my tea and letting the warm liquid cover my throat. The lights flickered and then everything went dark quickly before they came back. " This storm is pretty bad, huh? That's the second time the powers flickered" I told them.

I heard foot-steps coming from the stairs and I turned slightly to see Isane walking down the stairs. " Thank you Isane for your service", I told her. She nodded and smiled at my words. When I noticed that Rukia wasn't with her I raised a brow. " Where's Rukia?" I asked her.

She looked to the stair and then to me slightly. " Kuchiki-chan said, she was going to bed and that she was exhausted from her long day", I nodded at her words. I understood that my sister was tired, leukemia did that to her.

Renji sighed at the news and went to look for something in his pants. " Oh yeah", he chuckled noticing that these weren't his pants. " Uh, Isane-san. Where did you put my phone? It was in my jeans" he told her. She reached into her laundry basket and pulled out a red cell-phone. " Thanks" he said to her. Renji stood and walked over to the woman.

" Byakuya. I must say, your shower is quiet the dream" I heard from the stairs. I snapped my head over to see Kaien with a smile on his lips as he stretched his arms in the air. I smirked at his words and looked at white T-shirt that was on his chest. Isane gave him some black pants that I bought from America. " Where's Rukia?" he asked.

" Sleeping", Renji answered as Kaien came down the stairs quickly. " She's going to be exhausted for a while, Kaien. She's going to need her sleep, especially for the surgery in Tokyo. She going to need to be strong for that", he told the man.

Kaien nodded and looked over at Uryuu with his black fleece sweater and white jeans. " Uryuu, you should tell him about the cord thing", he told the doctor. I leaned forward at his words and looked at the doctor who stared down at the tea in his hands. " Come on, it's some hope" he said to Uryuu. I stared at the two and then watched as Uryuu nodded.

The doctor looked up at me with a serious eye. " I spoke to Mashiro last night about Rukia's blood, and she brought up something that the cancer research foundation has been doing down in the states" He started. I thought about what he was saying for a moment and thought of all the research they were doing down in America. " You've probably heard of it. It's basically the process of finding someone with the same blood type as Rukia, and using their cord-blood instead", he told me.

Renji looked at the doctor " That's the thing though, Uryuu. We don't know if it works" he said. I nodded at his words. I was hopeful for this to work, but knowing Rukia she didn't enjoy getting her hopes up and then having them crash down.

Uryuu nodded at Renji's words and looked down at his tea with his blue orbs. " They have done it on other patients. It's as be proven effective and works like the cord-blood" there was hope for Rukia and for her battle to be easier than what, it had been before all this.

" So, what do we have to do?" I asked him. The doctor took a slow drink of his tea before answering me.

" Well, the hospital takes some of Rukia's blood and then we send it to America. From there they look at the cancer cells and see what, cord-blood possibly was when she was baby. After that they go on a search for someone who has the result and estimation for her match" he idea seemed like it would work, I mean it was like a blood-bank but instead it was cord-blood from babies. What-ever it was that was going to save my sister, I was going to try it and hope for the best.

**RING! **

**RING! **

**RING! **

The talking in the room went dead when, the sound of my cell-phone entered the air. I sighed and pulled out the phone, to see the image of Isshin. I knew the man from when Hisana was going through her treatments, he worked at the hospital.

I looked at the three as they all continued to drink their tea's and didn't pay any mind to me. I stood from the table and walked over to the back-door. My eyes wondered over the rain as it poured from the sky and the lightening lite the land with life.

I touched the screen softly causing the ringing to end and the sound of panic to fill my ear from the man. " Isshin? What are you calling for?" I asked him. I heard the sound of the rain clear in the phone. Was he outside? " Are you outside in this weather?"

Isshin stopped walking and his brown eyes looked over the rain covered land. " Rukia!" he yelled out. I froze at the name of my sister and stepped from the door quickly.

" Isshin, what is going on?" I asked him loudly. I found myself rushing upstairs, to check Rukia's room for her presence. Had she went out in this weather? How did she get out of the house without me noticing her? What got her to Karakura so quickly? Was she okay?

There were so many worries for my sister, if she was out in this storm. She could get hurt or get sick. God knows how her system will fight two things at a time. It was too risky, to be true.

My eyes looked over the white walls of the hallway as I rushed up the stairs. I felt my heart race and the worry cure my soul, as I came face to face with Rukia's closed bedroom door. I was hesitant upon grabbing the door-knob. I didn't want to face the truth of my sick sister, out in this storm and possibly in danger.

I heard Isshin yell for my sister several times on the phone, each yell and call for her made me have less and less hope for her being in the room. " RUKIA!" he called out. I grabbed the knob and swung the door open.

My heart dropped to my stomach at the sight of the room being empty. When I looked at the window, I noticed that it was open. She had used the same route out of the house, that she had taken when she was in High-school. She climbed down the climbing rose bush. " Isshin", I said but he was too caught up in looking for my sister.

I mentally cursed at the fact that I hadn't thought this all through. I should have known she would have done this. Rukia was the kind of person, to go off and run just to think about something. Had she left because of the news of about her cord-blood? Perhaps, she was in sorrow and didn't want anyone to see her crying like she had earlier. It was rare for her to actually show her emotions to the world, she got that from her me and Hisana.

I grew frustration rather quickly, when the man didn't answer me. I quickly ran out of the empty bedroom and down the hallway. This was bad. This was really, really bad.

" Renji!" I called out as I bolted down the stairs. He was the second one in the house with a car. If he could take one of the two men with him, we could look for Rukia and find her faster. I figured, she was out there somewhere because of Isshin calling her name and the constant sound of the rain on the other line of the phone.

The red-head turned and looked at me with question. The question in his eyes disappeared when he saw me grab my keys from the counter. " She got out", he growled. I gripped my keys and watched as Renji scrambled to look for his keys in the pockets of his jeans. " Wait. Isane!" he yelled out to the woman.

The woman looked out from behind the cleaning supply closet and right into Renji's worried filled brown eyes. " Yes, Abarai-kun?" she answer with her polite tone.

I didn't have time to actually wait for Renji to get his keys. The quicker I found Rukia, the faster I could get her to the hospital and get her checked-out. I looked over at the two men who were scrambling to get their shoes on to help with the search. " Kaien you come with me. Uryuu you go with Renji, he needs someone with common sense when, he is stressed out and in a rush. He doesn't think right", I told them.

" Isane, where are my keys?" I heard Renji ask the woman. I looked over at Kaien who was ready to go and slipped on my sneakers quickly and opened the door.

The sight of the rain pouring down from the sky was clear in my eyes. " Rukia's out in this?" Kaien asked with a growl. When lightening flashed in the sky, I shook my head and forgot about the rain and ran to my car in the drive-way. " Byakuya! Are you sure she would go out in this weather? Rukia's smart!" Kaien shouted.

I stopped in my track causing the rain to soak my skin and clothing. It didn't add up. Why would she go out in this weather and risk herself getting even worse? She wanted to fight this, I know she did. I looked down at the phone in my hand, when I saw that Isshin was still on the line I blinked. Did he know what caused her to leave in this weather and risk everything?

Either the reason or the why, we didn't have time to sit around and think about this. We needed to go and find, Rukia. " Kaien, just get in the fucking car", I demanded. He was stunted at my cursing but quickly got into the vehicle.

I followed him and quickly got into the car. I quickly put my keys inside the car and brought the car to life with a roar. I pulled the stick into drive, when Uryuu came running out of the house " Wait!" he yelled. I looked at him with confusion until a rather furious Renji came walking out of the house.

" What do you think happened in there?" Kaien asked me as Uryuu sprinted to us. I looked at Renji to see the anger in his eyes and flames of his frustration blaring his brown orbs. I hadn't seen him this angry, since he and Rukia fought about her bullying in High-school.

Uryuu climbed into the car and looked over at Renji who was gritting his teeth as he stomped over. " He's pissed because, Rukia got a hold of his car keys and left", he told us. Well, that was good because it meant that she didn't run to the town and wasn't in the rain for long. But, why was Renji so angry? Did he know more than we did?

The red-head got into the car and slammed the door shut quickly. I looked over at him through the review mirror and noticed he was muttering something to himself. " Renji, what's the problem?" I asked him. He looked up at me and the only thing in his eyes was hate.

The sign of the emotion gave me the message, that he wasn't angry about Rukia taking his car. He knew something we did and by the sight of it, he wasn't going to tell us at the moment.

" I know where my car is", he growled getting all of our attention. " Drive to the Koursaki house", he demanded. I nodded and reversed quickly out of the drive way causing the water on the group to splash up at my speed.

Kaien looked over at me and then to my hand, to see my phone and there was a call going on. " Byakuya?" he said. I looked over at him quickly and then to the road, I was speeding down. " You're call", he reminded me.

I blinked and looked at the phone to see Isshin was still on the line. Pressing it against my ear, I heard the voice of Masaki in the background _" Isshin! What the hell are you doing?! You're all wet!" _ she screamed. The sound of the rain in the speaker had stopped signaling that he was back at home. " Isshin, what happen?" I asked him.

I heard the man sigh and rub his cheeks with hands in frustration. " Rukia... she came over here to talk to my son, about her leukemia" he told me. I hit the breaks at the news causing everyone to jerk forward at the sudden stop. The tires squealed on the pavement and my grip on the wheel tightened.

" What the fuck! Learn to drive, dammit!" Kaien yelled. I didn't pay mind to him because of the thoughts there were running through my mind, for what happened when the surgeon found out about Rukia's cancer. Did he tell her leave and she didn't take it lightly? Perhaps, he said: he couldn't just sit there and watch her die; and then broke up with her. There was a lot to think about when it came to those two's relationship.

The doctor in the back looked at me and my puzzling expression about, what Isshin just told me. " Kuchiki, put him on speaker" he told me. I nodded and tapped on the screen allowing the sounds of Isshin's house fill the silent car. It thought it was best that the three knew what happen. They were the one's who were going to help me, find Rukia in a storm.

I snapped out of my thoughts and continued down the road with the speed of my sports-car. The sound Isshin speaking was the only thing in my ears, besides the sound of the engine roaring and the squealing sound of my car breaking the wind. " I was in the clinic and I heard yelling and screaming coming from the house, so I went inside. The first thing, I saw was Rukia yelling at Ichigo", he continued. My brows crunched at the news.

So they had an argument about her cancer. Why?

Isshin leaned forward trying to make sure Masaki wasn't listening in on his conversation. He didn't want her to know about the argument. " Byakuya... the words my son said were things, I never thought he would say" his voice was sad and disappointed. What did Ichigo say?

Isshin was a compassionate man, I knew that from his experience with Hisana and then Rukia when they were in the hospital. He was the doctor who made Hisana feel like she was getting better and the one who made Rukia smile and laugh all the time. When I found out that, he was going to open up his own clinic so, he could be with his family more and that he had better hours. I was thrilled but disappointed that he was going to be somewhere else.

During the years I knew Koursaki Isshin, I learned that was a man of respect and understatement. He never yelled unless it was needed. He didn't judge someone until, he knew the whole story from both sides. To have him sound disappointed and sad without knowing only one part of the story; meant the words my sister heard were unbearable.

" What was Rukia's state when she left?" I asked him. I looked over at Kaien to see that he was glaring out of the blurring building of Karakura. Angry at the fact Ichigo, so how managed to hurt Rukia enough to make her run. She never ran from anything, unless it was too much to handle.

Isshin sighed and looked over the clinic before speaking. " She was crying..", the rage in my heart exploded at the moment. _" THAT BASTARD MADE HER CRY! HE HURT HER!"_ I pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the car quickly. Renji leaped out of the car and I followed quickly behind him.

" Isshin, meet us at the front door" Kaien said before he ended the call and got out the car. Uryuu followed and they ran to catch up with us. Behind arriving at the door, I looked over to see Renji's car parked and empty.

Renji looked up at the house and then to the large window that was lite. I didn't know, what was so great about that room; but I was going to learn about the importance rather soon.

The door opened wide causing me to see Isshin with his soaked bright flower shirt and dress pants. He really was out in this weather. " Where's that bastard?" Renji growled as he looked around Isshin trying to see Ichigo.

" Still fighting her battle, huh Renji?" I narrowed my eyes at the voice. Ichigo walked down the stairs and looked over to me with a smirk. " Must suck having your whole life be paused because of one person, eh Byakuya?" he questioned. I knew he was referring to Rukia and how her cancer took up many years, each one I was there with her helping her.

Ichigo's amber orbs went to Kaien and then to Uryuu causing him to chuckle. " You two have your whole life a head of you and your here chasing after someone who's frozen in a dying sta-" he tried but, I couldn't have him stay anymore.

" Another word about my sister and I will personally, cut off your balls and force feed them to you!" I shouted. I wanted to beat the living crap out of the man, but there was something holding me back at the moment. Perhaps it was the fact my sister was out there. Cold and wet, all because of this bastard. " You know, I don't have time for this. My sister is out there and I've got to find her", I told Ichigo and Isshin. I wasn't going to stand here and argue with someone; who I didn't care to argue with.

I turned and brushed passed Renji and the others. I looked over at them and shook my head " If you want to fight him, go a head. I'll find Rukia" I told them. I didn't care if they killed Ichigo, he crossed too many line with me. He made my sister cry, caused her to be in a risky situation for her health, insulted her and so much more that I didn't know. I'll get him later.

Isshin looked at the three and then to me, as I got into my car and started it up once again. " Here Renji, you take Kaien and Uryuu", he said. I went to drive away but he ran to my car, and opened the passengers seat.

" Isshin, you don't have to do this" I told him. Isshin had done enough by telling that Rukia, was out of the house and in this storm. He didn't need to help look for, even though it looked like he had looked for her already.

I began to zoom down the roads through Karaukra Town. I didn't care, if some police officer came and tried to pull me over for speeding. All I cared about was my sisters health. " Byakuya, Rukia is like my third daughter. I know Ichigo screwed up and the words he is saying now is nothing but anger and hurt. But... I know my son and he loves her" he told me. I wanted to believe his words and think that there was someone out there, who loved Rukia more than I did.

I kept my eyes on the road as we came up to the Karakura bridge. " I rather not talk about it, right now" I told him. Isshin nodded and looked out the window. " Perhaps she went to the grave-yard to see Hisana and her famil-"

Isshin stopped me and my thoughts on where she might be. " Pull over", he demanded. I looked at him oddly and shook my head. There was no way, I was going to stop. I needed to find Rukia now. " I said: PULL OVER" he shouted. I glared and pulled to the edge of the road quickly.

Just as the car stopped he was out and running down to the river bank. I quickly got out the car and watched as he slid down the grass hill. " Isshin! What are you doing?!" I yelled out to him, as I closed the car door and walked over to the railing of the bridge.

When he got to the bottom, he grabbed something into his arms. The rain was thick as I squinted at the object. When I saw short black hair and pale skin, my eyes widened at the sight of Rukia " RUKIA!" I yelled before sprinting down the bridge with all the speed I had.

When I was at the top of the hill, I went to run down but I fall and laid on my side causing me to slid down to the two. " Rukia", I said in panic. I looked at her pale skin that was covered in blood and rocks.

Isshin craddled her in his arms and rocked her back and forth as he looked for her pulse. I grabbed her small hand in mine, causing the chill of her skin make my spine shiver slightly. _" She's so...cold" _I thought. Tears fall from my eyes at the sight of the blood upon her cheeks and body, from the stones scrapping her skin. _" I'm sorry, Rukia"_, I thought.

"...I-I...ssh...in?" we heard weakly. My eyes snapped their view onto her face to see her eyes open just a little bit. She looked exhausted. I patted her hair softly, I was just happy that she was alive and breathing. " B-Bro...ther?" she spoke.

I smiled at her voice as the tear caked my cheeks, I didn't mind if she and Isshin saw me cry. Honestly, I have emotions and feelings just like everyone else. She shivered as the rain kept pouring down, her body turned and she cuddled into Isshin. He was warmer than me, always has been. " Come on, we need to get her to the hospital and get her warm" he told me.

I nodded at his words and watched as he stood from the ground. I looked down at the ground and glared at it with hate.

One person did this to her. Just one person. He did all this and didn't even care to apologize or help look for her? Where was the humanity in this world? Worse of all, he is a surgeon. Someone who saves the sick and saves lives. Yet, he nearly got my sister killed because she has something which she can't control?!

* * *

**BEEP **

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

**BEEP**

The sound of the heart monitor was all to familiar to me at the moment. Maybe I was used to being in the hospital and hearing it beep as the patient slept or sat awake. Either way, it was a sign of someone's heart-beat and I was glad to hear my sisters heart-beat.

I watched as her chest rise and fell as she slept. I sighed and leaned forward, before looking towards the door of the hospital to see Uryuu and Kaien. I was hoping to see Renji, but he was in a furious state. He wasn't good to be around at the moment, he was ready to kill Ichigo. I was too, but I needed to know the whole story before acting.

I gripped her hand from the bed sheets and kissed her knuckle softly. " What did he say to you?" I whispered. I wanted to know, what was haunting her heart and made her run so far. What was hurting her and echoing her thoughts? What did that man say to her last night?

I looked over the white bed sheets that were tucked to her chin at the moment. Her short black hair was plastered to her face from her sleep. The luminous of the light caused her to look even more pale and tired. My grey orbs looked out the window in the white room, to see the town lite up in the darkness of the night.

Rukia had been the hospital for a day and hadn't woken up yet. Doctor's told me, that it was a miracle that she didn't get sick after being in the storm for so long. Others said, that she would wake up when her she was ready. But then there were the doctor's who told me, that there was a slight chance she would die because of her low body temperature and the fevers getting worse and worse by the hour.

I heard foot steps coming from the hallway, I didn't turn or look to see who it was because it was a hospital. People were walking all the time. " Is she going to be okay?", the husky voice made me look over to see Renji. His black shirt and red shorts were wore from the workout he did to get his frustration out of his system. I noticed the sweat which trickled down his forehead and the slightly pant coming from his lips.

I looked over at Rukia and sighed before standing from my seat which was at her bed side. " Some doctors say she's going to be fine, some say she might die because her fevers are getting worse. I don't know if being in the rain and being cold caused them to get worse or if it is her leukemia" I told him.

Renji looked at Rukia and sighed sadly. " I told her not to date him", he whispered. I snapped my head over at him and blinked. " Ichigo was the one, who made her life hell in High-school. When she told me, that she was falling for him... I knew that there was going to be something that would cause something like this. I tried to stop her, but she didn't listen to me and went through with it anyways", he told me. I narrowed my eyes at the news and looked over at Rukia who was tossing slightly in her sleep.

_" He's the one who made you cry when, you got home from school everyday_" I thought with anger. I remembered her coming home in tears because some kid was making fun of her, she would never tell me a name or what they were saying. She would just sit there and cry. " What did he say to her back then?" I always wondered what the bullies told her, this was my chance.

His eyes went sad as he thought of what, Rukia went through when she was in High-school. " What didn't he say? That's the real question, you should be asking. I remember him calling her a slut and whore back then, but there are so many more that my mind is scrambled" he told me.

I was silent at the news. " I've had enough of this guy" I whispered in anger. I was ready to literally kick his ass or kill him, just so he didn't hurt Rukia again. What was wrong with him? She's a sick woman! Have some sanity!

My fist clenched at the thought of the surgeon knocking my sister into lockers and calling her a slut. He didn't have a clue, what she was going through! " He's...changed", my rage went to a blur when I heard Rukia's tired voice in the mist of the room.

I looked over at her to see her violet eyes open and filled with hurt for what was going on in her head. " If he's so different than, why did you go into the rain and risk your life?" I asked her. She was silent at my question and looked away. " That's what, I thought. This guy is just making you worse than you were before. Rukia I nearly lost you yest-" she interrupted me.

" Nii-sama, you don't understand. He loves me" she told me. I grew angry at her words.

"Love? Love? Love? Rukia, he yelled at you for what? Having a sickness you can't control! I don't care if he didn't know, he still shouldn't have been so cruel to you!" I shouted. No matter what, he shouldn't have said those words to her. " What did he say that made you leave anyway?" I asked her.

I noticed the tears dripping from her eyes as she bowed her head at the thought. Slowly her knee's came to her chest and she hugged them tightly. " H-He..." she trailed off into a cry. I sat down on the bed and held her close to me. I kissed her hair and rubbed her sweat covered back softly.

" It's okay, tell me" I whispered into her hair. I wanted to know what he said to her. It had to be something that, was worse than everything he said to her before. Whatever it was, I knew it was going to piss me off even more.

Rukia sniffled as tears rolled down her cheeks. With a hand I lifted her chin and wiped her tears away with a finger. I hated seeing her cry. " He said: I might as well just be dead" she sobbed softly.

I released my hold from her and stood from her bed. I had enough of this guy. " That's it!" I yelled as I stormed out of the room. Rukia cried louder as I stormed through the hallway and to the elevator.

Renji followed me and Kaien looked at us both with confusion. " W-Where are you going?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head. He wished her dead, that was enough for me to kill him. I didn't dislike Koursaki Ichigo, I hated him for wanting my sister dead. She did nothing to be wished such a thing.

" Business. Take care of Rukia, she awake" Renji told him. Kaien nodded and walked into the room, disappearing from his sights. I stepped into the elevator as people flooded out, many of them I bumped into but I didn't care. I wasn't in the mood to apologize.

Renji tapped the lobby button and the elevator began down the building. I didn't speak to the man, because I was in anger. I was more than angry, I was furious. Only if there was a word for my true feelings.

I wanted to rip his head off for everything he did to her. I knew that there was more to the story, but I didn't need to hear it to know that he was nothing but a bastard who needed his ass kicked.

My vision of the metal door disappeared as they opened and the lobby was in sight. My feet quickly walked through the lobby and into the parking lot, filled with cars. My hands were in fist as I opened my car and slammed the door shut. " I'll fucking kill him" I growled.

I began the car and roughly pulled into drive, just before driving away Renji leaped into the car. The tires squealed as I drove away and dodged several cars. The red-head was silent beside me; he never saw me this angry or even angry before.

My grip on the wheel caused my knuckles to turn red. When we reached a red light, I stopped and glared at the light. It was almost like it was trying to stop me, from doing this and going to the Koursaki house for revenge.

After, what seemed like forever, the light turned green and I was speeding down the road again. The car jerked as I turned onto the lane and the house came into view. The darkness of the night showed that there were people in the living room.

Renji jerked forward as I stopped the car and turned it off with anger. I shoved the keys into my pockets and stormed towards the house; leaving Renji in the dust.

When I came to the front door, I didn't knock but barged into the house causing Karin to gasp slightly and for all eyes to be on me. The smell of dinner was in my nose as I looked at the family. Isshin and Masaki were sitting at the table with their girls and...Ichigo. Beside Karin was that white-headed kid, I heard Rukia talk about.

My eyes glared into the amber's of Ichigo's with anger. " So, you think it's okay to go and hurt my sister just like that, huh Koursaki?" I growled. Ichigo rolled his eyes with an attitude, that set me more at edge. " I'm glad, you fucking think it's okay to send my sister to the hospital again!" I shouted. He looked shocked at my words and blinked, almost like he didn't know what I was saying.

He stood from his seat and walked towards the stair quickly, but I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closely. " Be a man for once! You think you're such a badass, because you yell at woman, huh? Perhaps you want to go to the hospital and see my sister, so you can call her a slut like you did in High-school. What was that for? To impress your bubble brain girlfriend?" I growled in his face. He glared at my words and I watched as the anger grew in his eyes for my words. He pushed his way out of my hold.

" Kuchiki-kun? What are you talking about, Rukia-san is in the hospital because of Ichi-nii?" Karin asked me. I looked at the young woman and chuckled at Ichigo with hatred dripping.

" You didn't tell them, I see. You didn't tell them, that you yelled at my sister and told her you wished her dead" I chuckled. Karin narrowed her eyes at her brother and the rest of the family bowed their heads at the news. I poked his chest roughly causing him to move back with my force " Or would you like to tell them, how bad it is to send someone with leukemia out into a thunder storm? You're supposed to be the smart-ass surgeon, not some idiot that lets a women who has fought cancer since was nine, run into a thunder-storm crying!" I yelled and pushed him to the ground.

Masaki looked at her son and then to me. " Leukemia? Rukia-san has leukemia..." she trailed off in shock. I knew it was probably hard for them to admit such at thing, but it was true and they needed to know it.

Renji smiled down at Ichigo on the floor and then to me. When he looked at Masaki he frowned " She didn't want to tell anyone" he told her with sorrow in his tone. When he heard Ichigo mumble something and roll his eyes. I heard Renji coming closer with anger in his steps " But apparently, not telling one person gets her in the hospital and on bed rest! What was it Ichigo?! The fact she didn't tell you like all you fan-girls or was it the fact that; I knew and you didn't!" Renji snapped.

The surgeon didn't like his words and falshed to his feet. I was surprise when Ichigo went to punch Renji, but I stop him with an upper-cut to the jaw. " Fuck", he groaned for his jaw. I smirked and kicked him the stomach causing him to fall to the ground.

I walked over to the man and bent down to his body on the floor, I leaned into his ear and smirked at his groaning from my kick. " Not so tough now, Ichigo. Perhaps, it's because you aren't fighting a woman with cancer", I whispered in his ear.

He looked over at me with a burning fire in his eyes. " I never touched her", he growled with hate. I narrowed my cold grey eyes and shook my head at his words. You don't have to hurt someone with a touch; you can with words.

I growled and lifted from the floor with a tight grip of his shirt. His face was inches away from mine as I looked into his amber orbs with my cold flaming eyes. " Words? Words? Word?! You can punch someone in the face a hundred time and a bruise will stick, but bruises leave! Every word you say! Is stuck in someone's mind, just lingering! We forget words, but we don't forget the feelings someone made us feel!" I yelled. I was done, with playing games with the man.

Ichigo glared at me darkly. " How would you know what words, I spoke to Rukia-" I wasn't going to hear it. I punched him hard in the jaw causing him to fall to the ground again, I looked down to see blood spots appearing on the ground. His lips was busted and he was beat.

As he patted on the ground, I stared down at him. With a kick to the ribs he groaned and cursed in pain. My hands went to the back of my jeans only to feel a book. Rukia's journal. " I may have not been there to hear them..." I trailed off as I tossed the book in front of him. " But, there's about 420 pages of words and things you did to my sister when she was in high-school", I told him. He grabbed the book and began to look through it with wonder in his orbs.

His eyes widened as he read the entries each word, seemed to melt some anger away from him. " Rukia's been through enough surgery's, x-rays, needles, vomiting, exhaustion and battles in her life. But, she never cried once because of them. You have to be some kind of monster, if you can make a person like her cry every night because of the words you said", Ichigo was silent at my words and placed the book down.

" I always thought that there was one thing in this world that was going to kill my sister. I thought it was old-age, but I was wrong the killer that is going to kill her isn't the cancer herself but your words", I told him. I knew it was going to hit a soft spot in Ichigo's heart to hear such a thing. " I may have money and tones of it, but I can't stop a killer with my money. I can't find the cure to my sisters leukemia and I definitely can't find your humanity", I began to walk to the door. I was done in the house and I was done with the aching man on the floor.

My words were the worse pain, he could endure. " If Rukia dies young because of your words. I will use my money to have you killed for taking a life for your own sick pleasure", I told him before leaving the house.

* * *

Hey guys, I got to go to work right now so; I can't answer your reviews from last chapter. I wanted to post this now, because I promised it on Tuesday but I was called into work for an extra shift. I will reply to your reviews next time in chapter 21. Tell me, what you think is going to happen and what you thought of seeing everything from Byakuya's p.o.v.

What do you think will happen next?

What do you want to happen next?

How do you like the Bucket List so far?

Well, till next update! I love ya and have a awesome week! Love, Bleachlover2346


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